His head rested on her chest, his eyes closed as he listened to the soft beat of her heart as she combed her fingers through his hair. They laid naked on the side of the bed, a thin blanket laying over him as he used his body to cover hers. His arms were pressed against her side, making it feel as though they were closer; he could have it no other way. Turning his head slightly, he pressed his lips against her chest, needing to taste her skin once more before lifting his head completely.
"You're shaking."
"I'm fine," she whispered.
Her eyes were still closed and he knew her well enough to see that something was wrong. "Kahlan-"
"I'm a little tired. Sometimes I can barely keep my eyes open."
"Is that what happened before, when you were in the meeting?"
Opening her eyes, she looked into his concerned, brown eyes. "I don't know." Taking another blanket from their bed, he pulled it over her, doing his best to warm her. "I don't remember the meeting."
"Maybe Zedd should-"
"No," she sighed, running her left hand over his right arm. "I'm fine, really."
Richard nodded his head slowly, knowing from the look in her eyes that she had made up her mind. "All right, but if-"
"I'm fine Richard, I promise."
Laying down beside her, he pushed at the blanket to reveal her breasts. He found himself fascinated by their new size, making it impossible to keep his eyes, hands and lips off of them. Bringing his hand to her breast, he ran his index finger between the two globes and inched closer. The moan that escaped her was all he needed to push onward and return to his previous position above her. If their bodies parted for even a moment, it was too long. She was all he ever desired.
His lips covered her quickly, making full effort to provide as much pleasure as possible with each moment of contact. Her fingers wound into his hair, pulling and pushing his head to where she wanted it. She lifted her back from the ground, pushing her stomach into his lips as he continued moving over her. His hands raced over her, unable to remain in a single location for more than a few seconds as his desire to rediscover her overwhelmed him. The soft moans that left her lips drove him insane, thrilling him in a way only she could.
Pulling at his hair, she brought his face to hers and connected their lips. Rolling them over, she sat forward and looked down at him. Her hair draped her shoulders, covering the top of her breasts as Richard pushed his hands over her. He was ashamed that he hadn't noticed before, the changes in her body; the subtle bump of her belly was now unmistakable to him. Sitting forward, he pulled her chest against his and ran his hands down her back. Rocking gently, she moved her hands from his hair to his shoulders, using them to steady herself as she picked up her pace.
The rumble of her magic shook the floor beneath them, rattling the walls as her cry of pleasure filled his ears. His release followed her almost instantly, his body rarely able to continue once she had lost control. Pushing his face into the side of her neck, he breathed in her scent and found himself lost.
"Richard?"
He jumped instantly, opening his eyes to see hers filled with concern. "Mmm?"
"Are you all right?" His confusion brought a small smile to her lips as she moved her hands from his shoulders to his hands that were holding her waist so tightly, her skin was red.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, instantly pulling his hands away.
Grinning, she shook her head. "It's all right. You haven't done that in a while."
"Almost five months." He smiled widely, bringing his eyes to her stomach. "When we conceived our daughter."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything-"
"No," she said quickly. "It may not be something that should be answered." He stared at her in waiting, wanting her to be able to talk to him the way she used to. "When you told me what had happened, why- You told me after you found out I was pregnant. Why did you do then?"
Bringing his eyes to the floor, he shook his head and sighed. "Because I had to. You were there before me, laying in our bed and I was so afraid that I was going to lose you. Kahlan when I- When Zedd told me that you were pregnant, I almost didn't tell you. Then I thought 'How can I lie in bed with my wife after what I've done?'" Looking at her again, he brought his hands to her cheeks. "I told you then because you deserved to know the truth and it wouldn't make it any easier to wait."
Crawling off of him, Kahlan kissed his forehead and stood up. "Thank you."
"For what?"
Looking over her shoulder, she walked to the window and lifted her robe off of the chair beside it. "Telling me."
"You knew didn't you?" he asked as he moved to his feet.
Pulling the silk closed, she turned around to face him. "Yes, but I don't know who told me."
"I don't understand."
Looking down, she stepped carefully around the broken shards of the mug she had thrown earlier. "I had pulled out our Journey book, I was going to apologize for- When I opened it, someone was already writing. I thought it may be you, but I didn't recognize the handwriting." Opening the top drawer of her dresser, she pulled out the thick book and clutched it in both of her hands. "I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't stop looking at it." Walking back, she handed the book to him and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I didn't think that I believe it until I saw it in your eyes."
Opening the book, he flipped through the pages, searching for the one she spoke of. He knew the handwriting instantly and it made him sick. "Anna's." Looking up to her, he shook his head. "I don't know how she..." Ripping out the page, he crumbled it in his hand. "I'm sorry Kahlan." Standing, he walked to the fireplace and quickly kneeled down, starting the fire quickly. Tossing the thin paper into the flames, he watched it burn and prayed it would destroy some of his wife's pain. "I meant what I said Kahlan," he whispered as he looked over his shoulder to her. "I won't leave you again."
"You're Lord Rahl, your place is the People's Palace."
"No, it's with you. There is nothing I could do there, that I couldn't do here."
Grinning, she came to her feet. "You would need a place for your meetings; a large set of rooms for those to stay when they come to see you, it is a long way for them to travel."
"I hadn't thought of that."
"You should go back."
"I can't. I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose you and if I leave, I'm making it easier."
Resting her hands on his chest, she stepped in close. "Richard-"
"I don't want to miss anything. The lighter shade of blue your eyes are when you wake up, the feel of you in my arms and the birth of our daughter. I want to be here; I want to be home." She felt herself melt before him, the truth in his eyes captivating her. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled herself against his chest. "I won't leave you."
"I know."
The slur of her words captured his attention and instantly, he pulled back to look at her. "Are you all right?"
"Mmm," she responded softly, her eyes closed. "Tired..."
Lifting her from the floor, he carried her swiftly to their bed. Her body shook as he pulled the blankets over her, exhaustion taking its toll on her. Combing his fingers through her hair, he waited until he was sure she was all right before pulling away. After dressing himself, he began picking up the broken shards of her tea mug. He jumped at the knock at the door, instinctively looking to make sure his wife was all right. Opening the door, he was relieved to see his grandfather, who towered over him.
"How is she?"
"Better, but she's sleeping now," he said quietly, noticing the small tray in the wizard's hands. "What's this?"
"Have her drink this when she awakes; then eat the soup. It will help her get back on her feet."
"Zedd, about what happened with Anna. I know-"
Shaking his head, the older man took a step back and sighed. "Cara and I spoke with her before she departed; she told us everything."
Richard nodded slowly, grateful that they knew the truth, but saddened that it had been necessary. "Did she?"
"Cara didn't give her another option."
Closing the door quietly, he covered his mouth with his hand and looked up at him. "She doesn't think that I betrayed her, Zedd. I keep thinking about it and even now I- No matter what these memories tell me, I betrayed her."
"Yes, you did." It was a simple response; one that they both knew was the truth. "A betrayal of the mind is no different."
"I know and I wish that there was a way I could take it back, but there isn't. When I look at her, I expect to see that look in her eyes again. Before I thought that it would be a relief not to, but it's not. Zedd, she looks at me and all I can see is the love she has for me and I- I don't deserve it. I look at her and I remember what I nearly did, I can still taste Anna and every part of me wants it to end, but I don't know how to."
"There is no end to what has happened. She does not blame you; you should accept the grace she has shown you."
"I don't know if I can. I kissed her; made love to her and I still felt like every time I touched her, she should cry in agony."
Nodding in understanding, the wizard stepped closer to his grandson. "She has made her decision, Richard and I do not believe that she made it lightly."
"How could she?" he asked quickly. "What I did, she should never let me- How could she kiss me like I had done nothing wrong?"
"Did you ask her?"
"No." He met his friend's eyes and took in a deep breath. "I'm afraid of what she will say."
"It cannot be worse than your imagination. Is this not how you got here?" he asked knowingly. "Richard it is not I you need to speak to. Talk to your wife."
Releasing a soft sigh of defeat, he nodded. "You're right. I can't lose her, Zedd."
"I know."
Turning away, the Seeker brought his hand to the doorknob and licked his lips. "Something tells me that she already knows what I've been thinking."
"It doesn't hurt to say it out loud."
The older man's voice echoed in his ears as he walked into his bedroom and let his eyes fall upon her. She hadn't moved, but he knew it didn't mean she was still asleep. Picking up the tray Zedd had brought, he walked to the table beside the window and laid it down almost silently. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled. She was focused on him with a subtle smile tugging on her lips.
"Zedd brought you some tea and-"
"What's wrong?"
With a soft laugh, he pulled the chair to the side of the bed and sat down. If he did what he wanted and crawled into bed with her, they would do no talking. "Kahlan, I need to ask you something and I don't want you to answer right away. Please, just think about it for a while."
He could see the concern on her face as she sat forward. "What is it?"
"I betrayed you," he said simply and flatly. "I had the intention to be with another woman, but when I look at you; see into your eyes, I don't see it. Kahlan, I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did and I don't understand how you can. And that is me assuming that you have." Resting his elbows on his knees, he laid his head in the palms of his hands and rubbed his face. "How could you make love to me like that? Minutes after- We were together as though nothing had ever gone wrong between us and it terrifies me to think that it- I want to be with you more than anything and after you have thought about it, and of you decide that this is what you want; that we are what you want then I- I will gladly be here."
Tilting her head, she reached out for his hands and pulled them to her. "I do not need any time to think about it, Richard."
Standing, he took several steps backward; away from her. "Please," he said breathlessly. "I don't want you to wake up one day and hate me."
"Richard..." she stared quietly, before changing her mind. "All right, I will think about it."
"Thank you."
