Jane was struggling to keep up with Gunther, who was striding at least eight feet in front of her. He had not said anything or even looked at Jane since they left the castle a few minutes ago. She had not been that mean to him, had she?

For a few days now, Jane had tried to be nice to Gunther. But it was even more awkward than before. So, Jane had eventually begun avoiding Gunther all together.

But that did not get rid of her need to talk to him. She did not know what to say exactly. She did not want to just blurt out, "Gunther, I know you are only courting me so I cannot be a knight!" Though, any other way she could think of was so indirect that he might not get what she was telling him.

Sooner than Jane had expected an opportunity to confront Gunther had come. Their parents had decided it would be a great idea for Jane and Gunther to go on a picnic together—get some time alone so they could get to know each other better without the pressures of castle life. So, that was why Jane was walking with Gunther to a nearby field early in the morning. Or walking behind him because whenever she did manage to match his speed he would walk faster, almost breaking into a startled run.

At last, they came to the field. Some cows were grazing on grass in the distance. Gunther laid out a blanket and started to set out plates and food remarkably quickly, and for some reason, he kept glancing at the sky.

"Are you okay?" Jane asked him.

Gunther froze for a brief second. "Yes, I am fine."

Gunther handed her a plate, but then sat as far away from her as possible. Jane could not make herself eat. Her stomach was too queasy.

"So," Jane began tentatively. "How are you doing?"

"I already told you; I am fine."

"Do you think you are ready for the tournament on Saturday?" Jane asked before it occurred to her the tournament was not the best thing to bring up since they had beaten each other up in the practice yard over it last week.

"Yes, I am in fact. Thank you," Gunther replied.

"Sorry, I did not mean to remind you of the fight we had."

Gunther said nothing, but Jane could tell he did not believe her.

This was going miserably. Maybe she would just have to speak plainly. Jane sighed and gathered up her courage. "Gunther, we have to talk."

"Yes…"

"Dragon and I have had a talk and I know what is going on," Jane said bravely. "I will not put up with you any longer!"

Gunther looked horrified. He stood up and checked the sky again. "Where is he?" he whispered.

"Who?"

"That flying beast of yours! Where have you hidden him?"

Jane stared at him, puzzled. "Dragon?"

"At least give me a chance for a fair fight. If you plan on killing me with that overgrown lizard, let me defend myself! Are you not always talking about the knights' code?"

"Why do you think I am going to kill you?"

"But you…but… You mean you do not intend to kill me?" Gunther inquired, beginning to sit back down.

"No…" Then Jane remembered the night Dragon had randomly left her tower. Since she had seen Gunther the next day, she had assumed nothing had happened. "Did Dragon say anything to you?"

"Only that if I did not stop courting you he was going to push me off a cliff or bake me alive."

Jane laughed. Oh, Dragon, she thought. How very, loyally sweet.

Gunther started laughing too. "Can you imagine it? Me, having the power to make us stop courting."

"Wait. What did you just say?" Jane asked.

"I said it was ridiculous that Dragon thought I had the power to stop us courting."

"Does that mean you have not been courting me on purpose to prevent me from becoming a knight?"

"Of course not. Is that why you were beating me up at the ball?"

"I am so sorry, Gunther!" She had made a dreadful mistake in judgment.

"I thought you were just being a mud wart!"

"So apparently all this time we have been arguing and fighting over nothing!"

"Well, there is a bit of truth in your assumption," Gunther said slowly. "In fact, you have hit upon my father's plan. He thinks if we marry you will not keep training to be a knight and he will have access to dragon through our marriage. As if marrying you would make you do anything I asked."

Silence reigned for a few moments. Jane did not know how Gunther felt, but she was quite relieved.

At last Jane said, "Parents do make the most awful decisions sometimes."

"They certainly do," Gunther agreed. "Are you hungry? I hope I did not haul all this food up here for nothing."

With the feeling of butterflies in her stomach was gone, Jane started eating. "Gunther, are we going to let our parents do this to us?"

"I see no way to prevent it," Gunther said. "I suppose I could break a few of your bones right in front of your parents' eyes. That would certainly change their minds."

Jane scoffed. "You do not have the strength to do that, even if you wanted to. But we must do something, or we are going to have to spend the rest of our lives together."

They both grimaced at the idea. The two sat there, trying to think of plans to inhibit their courtship.

"I cannot think of anything!" Jane exclaimed in exasperation.

"Better start planning the wedding then," Gunther muttered as he put away their plates. Jane did not know how she could have thought Gunther would ever put himself through a courtship with her just to keep her from being a knight. He was clearly as annoyed as she was.

An idea dawned on her. "Wait. Gunther, what was that you said earlier?"

"Jane, that was a joke; if you mean me breaking bones. Unfortunately, about the wedding, I was only half joking."

"That is it! I have figured it out." Jane stood up. "We can say that we really were in love, and that Dragon was so overprotective of me that he threatened your life."

"That is excellent, Jane!" Gunther declared. "My father thinks so lowly of Dragon that he will believe it!"

"I will inform Dragon. And Jester; he might have some tips for Dragon's acting," Jane said. "It really needs some work."

Gunther helped Jane up and they walked side by side back to the castle.


"And then Dragon will fly away after he warns Gunther!" Jane explained to Jester.

"Hm," Jester said, sitting down on one of the wooden crates in the training yard.

"What do you think?" Jane asked.

"The initial idea is good," Jester complimented. "But do you really think your parents will believe you and Gunther loved each other? After all, you two have been anything but nice this past week.

Jane sighed. "Oh, you are right, Jester. They will never believe it."

Jester was silent for a few seconds. "Unless…you and Gunther can pretend to like each other."

"Like-like?" Jane asked.

"Like-like," Jester moaned.

"How can I pretend to like him? It was hard enough being partially nice to him."

"Well, in my experience with acting, subtlety is key. So… I cannot believe I am telling you to do this."

"Please go on," Jane said. "My parents need to believe this. If they do not—"

"Alright then," Jester said. "Hold hands. Do not be afraid to look at each other face to face."

"But, Jester. If I do all those things, I cannot help but get red in the face."

"Even better." Jester said. "Oh, and absolutely no name calling."

This better work, Jane thought to herself.


Gunther stared at Jane like she was mad. I probably am, Jane reflected.

"You want us to act like we actually are falling for each other," Gunther clarified. "And you call me gross. No."

"Just for a little while. The plan may not work if we do not," Jane said.

"I said 'no', and I meant it," Gunther said, walking past the castle gate down the road towards the docks.

"Please," Jane begged, following him. "This is the best plan we have and our pretending will guarantee out parents change their minds."

Gunther laughed. "Nothing is ever a guarantee."

"Well, then, at least it is out best hope."

"At least I still have not lost my mind," Gunther mumbled loudly to "himself."

"Fine. Then do not go blaming me when your father asks you to appeal for my hand in marriage!"

"Jane, even if I did agree, we would not even be able to look like we can stand each other," Gunther objected, turning to face her.

"How do you know that? Listen, we either pretend to like each now for a few days or have to learn to love each other for the rest of our lives."

"Most marriages are arranged and the people in them do not have to love each other. They just have to tolerate each other."

"Are you saying you would be fine with marrying me?"

"No! I was just making a point. The plan will work without our pretending. We do not need to worry about this."

"And what if our parents do not believe us when we tell them Dragon attacked you because we were in love? I thought 'nothing in life was a guarantee.'"

"Even if it did improve our chances of this plan working, neither of us would be nearly as convincing as we would have to be."

"Well, if nothing in life is a guarantee, then that is not either."

"That is not what I meant. I think—"

"Gunther! Do you realize what will happen if this does not work?" Jane asked, already feeling dizzy concerning what she was about to say. "We will get married. I will lose my knighthood and will be furious at you and you will have to spend almost every waking and sleeping minute with me. A very angry me."

Gunther turned his head away from her and sighed. "Jane—"

"We will have to raise…children together. Children, Gunther."

"Fine! Fine. I will do it. It will fail, but I will at least try. Now, leave me alone," Gunther quickly said.

"Thank you," Jane acknowledged. Now only one more stop to make.

Jane walked back through the castle to the kitchen.

"Hello, Pepper," Jane said.

"Hello, Jane!" Pepper returned, holding up a bowl of soup. "Would you like to try my new recipe?"

"In a minute. Pepper, I need a favor from you."

"What is it?"

"Remember how I told you to keep my courting Gunther a secret? Not anymore. Tell everyone about it."

"But Jane, I think the whole castle already knows about it."

"Then make it sound like we have made up and are madly in love. Make sure my parents hear of it."

"I will," Pepper said. "Even though it is such a strange request."

"Now, I will try that soup you made, Pepper," Jane said as she sat down at a table.


The next day was the perfect opportunity to convince their parents "how well they were getting along." The parents, or Magnus more like it, had decided it would be advantageous if everyone met for dinner at Gunther's house.

When Jane and her parents arrived, they were met by Gunther at the front door.

"Welcome," Gunther greeted. "Chamberlain, Lady Turnkey, and of course, Jane."

As soon as the parents entered, Gunther snatched Jane's hand.

"Maybe do not hold my hand as though you were trying to snap it in half," Jane whispered to Gunther.

Gunther loosened his grip a little, but he was still strangling her fingers. Even worse, his hands were moist with sweat. Jane could not really blame him for it; hers were too.

She tried to gaze on Gunther but could not bear the embarrassment and looked away, instead studying her surroundings.

Gunther's house was as elaborate as the castle. The grand hall was illuminated by a chandelier. Gilded furniture was abundant. Jane was surprised that a portrait of Gunther's father did not decorate the back wall. I suppose all that money he cheated people out of had to be used for something, Jane thought as Gunther led them to the dining table.

"So glad you could make it!" Gunther's father enthused as they sat down.

A servant started bringing out dishes to the table. Jane tried not to reveal her shock at the amount of food that was brought out. She had never seen so much food except at the king's banquets.

Gunther's father began to tell them about the items on display around the hall. Jane's mother was fully engaged with his stories the whole dinner. Jane could tell her father was trying to act polite, but that he did not believe the merchant's stories one bit as he kept making disapproving comments.

"And that was the tragic end of my first sailor," Gunther's father said, sadly shaking his head.

Jane turned to look at Gunther. He looked bored out of his mind as he shoved more bits of meat into his mouth. Jane had not really been paying attention to his father's stories. The food however was delightful.

After a few more minutes, they had eaten all they could.

"Let us move to somewhere more comfortable," Gunther's father suggested, gesturing to a section of the hall adorned with polished oak seating.

Everyone sat down. The talk was much the same as it had been at the dinner table, except Magnus did not chatter quite as much, so that Jane's parents were able to join in the conversation. As their parents were so occupied, Jane whispered to Gunther, "At least try to look happy."

"Your face could use some work too," Gunther retorted.

From then on, they battled to find the best way to look like they liked each other without being too embarrassed. Jane scooted a little closer to Gunther, but he moved away.

"Jane, do not sit that close to me," Gunther chastised. "You smell like burnt horse dung!"

"I do not. Maybe it is that you bathed yourself in too much perfume," Jane said.

"Even if I did it is better than attracting flies," Gunther said.

"We still have to pretend to like each other," Jane reminded him, defiantly moving right back next to him so close that their shoulders touched. She glared up at him.

Gunther clasped his hand around Jane's even tighter than he had earlier. She was pretty sure he was doing it on purpose now.

"Just please try to pretend it does not hurt," Gunther whispered to Jane. "After all, I cannot help it being so much stronger than you."

The conversation and conflict went on for a few more minutes before Gunther's father spoke. "Gunther, how about you show Jane around the house while we talk privately."

"Yes, father," Gunther said, all of a sudden being very courteous as he led Jane out of the hall.

"You can let go now," Jane said. "Well, that ought to have convinced them nicely. Convinced them that we really do hate each other."

"Do not be a rot slug," Gunther said, dropping Jane's hand. "They did not hear any of it! Follow me."

Jane huffed, but obliged to do as he said.

"This is the library," Gunther said, flinging open a door. It was a small room, but still housed a great number of books.

"I wonder, are there any books about dragons?" Jane asked.

"I have never checked," Gunther said. Jane could see the room was gathering dust. She was about to explore the library but Gunther gestured for them to move along.

"Storage," Gunther said, pointing towards a door. "Inventory. Stables." They were at the back of the house now and Gunther was pointing to the outside. "There, all done."

"Can we go back to the library?" Jane asked him.

"Fine," Gunther said. "But only for a little."

Jane looked through the books in the library while Gunther sat in a chair across from her. At some point she convinced him to help her search for information about dragon runes. Some of the stories in the books mirrored the stories Gunther's father had told them at the dinner table.

"We should head back," Gunther said. "Our parents are probably finished discussing whatever they wanted to by now."

Jane followed Gunther out of the library. She noticed a room that Gunther had not pointed out. It was completely bare except for a bed and a wooden chest in the corner.

"Is that the servant room?" Jane asked Gunther.

Gunther turned to look at the room she was addressing. "No. That is my room," he growled.

"Oh, I did not mean that–"

"Just because I am my father's son does not mean that I too fill my room full of useless clutter," Gunther said, lowering his face to meet Jane's an inch away. Jane did not flinch, meeting Gunther's penetrating gaze with one of her own. After a while Gunther smiled—Jane would consider it more of a smirk— as if he had won the staring contest.

"Jane, it is time to go," Jane's mother interrupted, startling the two. Each of them whirled round, eyes wide. Jane's father and mother were standing a few feet away; Jane's mother was grinning. Did her mother not understand that she and Gunther were arguing about someth– Jane abruptly realized why her mother was smiling so widely.

Jane felt a little light headed. She barely stopped herself from cringing. Her parents thought that she and Gunther were really going to– Ew, Jane thought. Never. I would never let Gunther come anywhere near my lips. But at least it helps convince them that we like each other. She could not bear to think about it anymore or she was going to throw up.

"Goodbye, Gunther," Jane stammered, forcing herself to look straight at him again.

"Goodnight to you as well, Jane," Gunther said, staring down at the floor. Apparently, he had come to the same conclusion about her parents' assumption.

Gunther's father waved them goodbye as they left. Jane's father looked quizzically at her the whole way back. Jane's mother seemed to be the happiest woman alive.


Milton sat on a chair, staring at the floor and trying to comprehend the night's events.

"I told you," his wife said, pacing excitedly. "I told you they just needed to talk to each other outside of training. Did you see? This is perfect!"

"Yes, I saw what they were about to do. But I also heard them arguing earlier," Milton said. "And I am still trying to make sense of it all."

"I doubt they were arguing. They were probably just teasing each other. Believe me, with the way they were fighting a few days ago—

"They were fighting? And you did not tell me?"

Adeline sat on the chair opposite of Milton. "No. But you saw them tonight. Clearly, their arguing and fighting is a pretense. Remember how shocked they looked when we stumbled upon them!"

"But if their fighting is a pretense, why hold hands and sit so closely to each other? This does not add up."

"Because they do like each other," Adeline said. "Trust me, Milton. Even Magnus agrees."

This does not make any sense, Milton thought. "Are we doing the right thing? Maybe we should wait a little more instead of pushing them too quickly."

"Milton! They were about to kiss! Of course they are ready. Jane will be very pleased to hear our decision," Adeline said as she climbed into bed.

Milton sat in his chair and thought long into the night.


The next day, Jane was picking up scattered supplies in the courtyard when Gunther ran up to her.

"Jane, if Dragon is going to come and threaten me, I think it would be best if he does it now. Your father and my father are discussing supplies at the gate, and trust me, we need to do this before tonight."

"Why?" Jane asked, putting a wooden training sword in its rack.

"Well, I would say your parents took that little misjudgment of body language quite seriously," Gunther said. "And I do not relish the thought of proposing to you."

Jane gasped. "They would not insist upon that. We have only been courting for a few weeks!"

"If you must trust me at least one time in your life, trust me now," Gunther urged. "Courting can move remarkably fast."

"Let us go inform Dragon," Jane said, sprinting towards her room. She barreled through the door and climbed up the steps to the roof where Dragon was napping.

"What is all the noise?" Dragon asked, waking from his sleep.

"Dragon, Gunther and I are going to be by the castle gate," Jane explained to him. "We are carrying out the plan now."

"Alright, then," Dragon said with a yawn. "I will be there shortly."

Jane ran back down to Gunther who was still waiting in the practice yard. "I told him," she reported.

Jane and Gunther rushed to the castle gate and waited restlessly next to their fathers. They again held hands, and this time their relationship actually did appear believable, so preoccupied were they with the plan.

"When is he going to show up?" Gunther whined.

"Soon I hope," Jane replied.

Finally, a gigantic shadow filled the sky.

Dragon made a show of spewing fire and roaring into the open air before landing. She thought she had told him not to overdo it. Dragon's theatrics had caught their fathers' attentions however.

"How dare you like Jane!" Dragon shouted at Gunther. "You of all people!"

"Dragon, please do not hurt him!" Jane argued, stepping forward as if to shield Gunther.

"You are confused, Jane," Dragon said. "This thief has corrupted you."

"No, I have not," Gunther said, stepping forward next to Jane. "She loves me." His face had gone blood-red as soon as the statement came out of his mouth.

"I do not believe it," Dragon said, lifting his head high. "I will not."

"You must!" Jane said.

"I do not see any reason to," Dragon yelled.

"Please," Gunther pleaded, falling to his knees. "I promise I will take care of Jane. I promise to be kind to her and to think about her with the upmost admiration every day of my life." Gunther swallowed hard, as if trying to wash away the taste of the words that had just exited his mouth.

"I promise the same," Jane said, kneeling beside Gunther. "I will never leave his side!"

"I will not relinquish," Dragon bellowed.

"Jane," Gunther said, pulling her up. "Get back!"

"I will not," Jane said, holding both of his hands.

"I would rather die than live without you," Gunther said, pushing Jane back.

"This is for your good, Jane," Dragon said. "I am protecting you. From Gunther. Because I believe that you two should not be courting anymore." Dragon opened his mouth and drew in a long breath.

Say something, Jane thought desperately, looking towards the fathers who were completely frozen. Dragon pressed his snout against Gunther's chest, prepared to fry him. Gunther was not acting anymore as he shut his eyes, and terrified, turned his head to the side. Jane herself could see the flame glowing in Dragon's nostrils.

"Wait!" Magnus yelled. "Stop! We can talk about this." Dragon turned around and released the fire into the sky.

"What do you propose?" Dragon asked.

"Fool, get over here!" Gunther's father hissed at him.

"But father, I—" Gunther started.

"This was a huge mistake," Gunther's father said to Dragon. "Maybe we could call the courtship off."

Jane thought the plan was working, until she looked to her father. He appeared to be about to break into laughter. Their plan was ruined. Her father had guessed it all. Jane felt her heart plummet into her stomach. She and Gunther really would have to spend the rest of their lives together. It would be absolutely awful—

"I agree," the chamberlain said to Jane's surprise. "It is clear courting my daughter is not safe for your son right now."

Magnus said something in agreement. But Jane paid attention to nothing except her father's smile.


"Sir Theodore should give us medals for such good execution of an excellent plan," Gunther said across from Jane as he regaled the rest of the table with the story. Jester had especially liked the part where Dragon swooped in and threatened Gunther at the end. Pepper giggled as she collected their plates for cleaning.

"I saw their acting," Pepper said. "They were quite convincing."

Jane and Gunther both blushed.

"Maybe they would be good at pretending to be in love in one of your plays, Jester," Pepper suggested.

"Haha. Very funny, but no thank you," Jester said.

"Sounds like it was a lot of fun," Rake said.

"No," Jane and Gunther replied in unison.

"Well, I have to go tend to my forge," Smithy said, rising from the table.

"And me to my garden," Rake said.

The table slowly dispersed, leaving just Jane and Gunther.

"Fun?" Jane said. "Very fun that I almost got kicked out of knighthood!" She shook her head.

"Well, technically," Gunther said, "you would not necessarily have been denied knighthood if we had gone through with the courtship."

"What?" Jane asked.

"My father is extremely wealthy, as you obviously know by now. His entire plan relied on the assumption that I would not hire a nursemaid. After all, my father probably would have gifted me quite a bit of gold after we married."

Jane stared at Gunther, who still looked remarkably calm for what he had just said.

"I am not saying I would have," Gunther said. "I am just saying I could have."

"I am still glad our courtship is over," Jane said. "Were we really that convincing?"

"I doubt it. You at least were not. I have a natural talent for acting. Like I would actually die for you!"

Jane scowled at Gunther in disbelief.

"I mean, outside of battle of course. Er—Or maybe I would. The knights' code! You know, nothing personal."

"Why are you not bragging?" Jane wondered. "With our triumph over courtship today I thought you would be taking all the credit."

"I am saving my boasting for when I win the swordsmanship tournament tomorrow," Gunther said confidently. "Plus, I do not deserve all the credit. It was your plan after all."

Jane stared at Gunther for a few moments.

"What?" he asked.

Jane just shook her head. Gunther was so different sometimes from the person Jane had always thought him to be.


The day after the end of the courtship Jane took a walk beside her father in the castle. The chamberlain had been able to save Dragon's skin by convincing the king that Magnus's stories were much exaggerated.

"That was quite a plan, Jane," her father complimented. "Magnus could not have come up with a better one."

"It was fine, I suppose," Jane said. "When did you figure it out?"

"Well, I must admit you almost had me convinced you did love the boy at the dinner," her father said. "After all, your mother and I both thought you two had or were going to ki—"

"Please do not say it! I cannot bear to hear the words. His breath smells bad enough."

"I will must say, though, that Dragon's acting skills were not very well practiced. You and Gunther however—well, if someone saw you two and had not known how often you usually fight, they would have believed you were truly sincere. It seems, in truth, you work very well together."

"When we work together. Why do people keep assuming we ever work well together?"

Her father laughed. "It is sad girls are not allowed to act."

"I became a knight's apprentice, so I do not see how hard it would be to prove a girl can act," Jane said confidently. "Thank you for your help, father."

"You do not need to thank me, Jane. I should have interfered sooner."

"But you did stop the courtship, and that is what matters. And I do not plan on courting again any time soon!"

"And I will certainly not make you," her father agreed, walking off. "Oh, but watch out for your mother. She is quite convinced that your feelings are extraordinarily damaged."

Jane laughed as she turned another corner down another hall.


It happened that Gunther did win the swordsmanship tournament. And, to Jane's surprise, she felt happy for him. He had bested her in the second round. Of course, he did brag about winning, but maybe with a little less insulting. Maybe.

Life went back to normal in the castle. Jane and Jester continued to entertain Princess Lavinia. Pepper kept cooking. Rake loved his garden. Smithy tended his forge with his pig. Magnus was upset about his latest failed scheme. And all was right with the world.

A few days after the tournament, Jane practiced against the dummy in the training yard, though it was not much of an enemy for long. She had just toppled its head off its wooden neck. Jane stood there, wondering if it was worth her time to smack the dummy anymore.

"Still pouting over your defeat?" Gunther taunted, wooden sword in hand as he entered the training yard. "And may I mention, my victory."

"Stop bragging about it," Jane said. "You won, but only a foot thorn like you would brag about it for three days straight."

"Are you still too enamored with me to admit your defeat?" Gunther asked. "Well, if you are, I know a few good lessons on clapping for people that could help."

"And I know a few good lessons to put you back in your place," Jane said, tightening the grip on her sword.

"I bet you wish you did," Gunther said, holding up his sword as well.

"Hog's breath!" Jane shouted at Gunther.

"Mud wart!"

"Snake spit!"

"Rot slug!" Gunther called as they clashed swords.

"Dung worm!" Jane spat as she held her ground. Gunther was strong, but she was not about to give up insulting him or fighting him till his face was planted firmly in the ground. Or at least till she came close.

Yes, all was certainly right with the world.


Author's Note: (The cover photo for this fic is the part of the dinner scene where Jane in Gunther are staring each other down in the hallway.) Thank you so much for reading! I hope you have enjoy this fanfic as much as I enjoyed writing it. All favorites and reviews are greatly appreciated and mean so much to me, so please leave some. Once more, thank you for choosing to read this fanfic. Sincerely, Mushroomwarrior26