Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.

A/N-First, once again, I am not completely happy with this chapter. Second, my apologies to the Edward fans, he isn't in this chapter very much. Third, I had a lot of comments/requests for the little 'talk' at the end of the last chapter to be in this one, however it is not. Originally, I had no intention of writing it, however due to the curiosity of the readers, I am thinking about doing it as an outtake. For those that read Lost and Found, remember, those are merely possible moments, or a pseudo alternate universe, if you will. Lastly, my apologies for the delay in posting, not only has my muse unexpectedly decided to up and leave, but in its place, out-of-town family unexpectedly came to visit. Not an even exchange, in my opinion!

C Me Smile- thank you, for everything-you'e truly amazing.

Huge hugs and thanks to Dannie for the encouragement, laughs, and very late night phone calls. Neither me, nor this chapter, would be here without her.

To those that have read, thank you! I appreciate it very much.

"**~~**"

Worst Fear

Location: Forks, WA (Acceptance)

"**~~**"

All along I knew that there was something missing
And only one thing left to do
I had to leave behind this life that we'd been living
But the only thing that left was you-Rascal Flats

"**~~**"

My fingers played with the cords on the Gibson Hummingbird guitar.

It was one of the most beautiful things I had seen…well, besides the other doe-eyed brown haired beauty in my life.

Not only was it aesthetically beautiful, but the feel of it in my arms and under my hands was sheer perfection. I had been putting some money away each week for it for a little over a year and still only had about half of it saved. Between the outrageous insurance on my motorcycle and saving for college, there wasn't much left for hobbies.

Some day this beauty would be mine.

Closing my eyes, I hummed a few notes, while letting my fingers flow over the strings, plucking random cords as I sat on the stool leaning back against the wall with my booted feet propped up on the counter. It was slow at work. No one had come in the store in over an hour, and on those slow days, I sat and courted this beautiful guitar, coaxing her with my notes, soft lyrics, and calloused fingers.

Some day this beauty would be mine.

I allowed my fingers to drift over the smooth spruce wood top with the nitrocellulose lacquer finish. It was silky beneath my touch as I moved to trace the floral and bird design of the tortoise pickguard and caressed the brilliant mahogany sides and back. She made beautiful music for me. I adjusted the tuners, listening with my trained ear for the subtle changes.

Some day this beauty would be mine.

Jumping at the phone's ring, almost forgetting where I was, I reached over and pick it up to answer. "'Afternoon. Daddy's Music, can I help you?" I had no idea why, but when I was at work my drawl seemed to make a stronger appearance. Garret loved it, said it helped with sales; something about being an authentic cowboy selling acoustic guitars was good for business. I had developed control over my accent, and I admit to pouring it on a bit thick when the mother of a teenage wanna-be rock star came into store looking for their son's first guitar. I would answer their questions, standing there with my blond waves, blue eyes, cowboy boots, ripped jeans, tossing in a few y'alls in a slow twang and then, the coup de grace, I'd flash them a dimpled smile.

I owned them then.

"IT'S HERE!" the voice screamed so loud, I pulled the phone from my ear.

"Excuse me?"

"It's here. I just got in the door. I was late because I had to stay after for the newspaper for the stupid article on the lunchroom food, and then the computers crashed and I had to have the geekspeak guy come fix them and then when I left I had to run by the store and get some food for tonight because my dad was bitching about no food in the house this morning and then after I got home and unloaded all the groceries, I saw it on the table."

I don't think she took a breath, so I reminded her. "Breathe, Bella." I smiled to myself when I heard her deep intake of breath. "There…better. Slow down and tell me, what's there?"

"An envelope with a U of W return address."

My heart dropped. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly," she replied, suddenly quiet. I knew the panic had overtaken her excitement, suddenly realizing what this meant, how much our futures were riding on each one of these letters. If Bella had received hers, then…mine was probably at my house as well.

The nausea hit me hard and fast, but I swallowed it back down, reminding myself it would all be okay. "Are you going to open it? What does it say? Did you get in?" I rapidly fired questions at her.

"Whoa cowboy, you're as bad as me. Remember, Hale, just breathe." She quickly threw my advice back at me.

"Come on, Bella, don't keep me waiting," I pleaded.

With a nervous giggle, she began, "Yes. I don't know and I don't know."

"Open it," I demanded.

"I'm scared, Jasper," she whispered worriedly.

"I know, Bella, me too. But this could be just what we have hoped for, right? All of us off to college together? Just remember what Edward said, we would make it work no matter what."

Even as I assured her, my heart raced in my chest, scared shitless I would be the one holding them back, that it would be me that would not be accepted into UW, and being forced to make alternate arrangements.

I could hear the sound the envelope being ripped open, and a nervous sigh. "Bella, it's okay. You can do it. I'm right here," I encouraged her.

Silence.

Then, a joyous scream of relief. "OH MY GOD, JASPER. I GOT IN!"

I couldn't help the grin that broke out across my face in place of my own fear, as I felt her happiness through the phone. "See, Bella, nothing to worry about. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Jasper. For everything." I could practically see the stupid smile plastered on her face. "I'm going to call Edward and tell him. Do you want me to swing by your house and see if yours is there?"

"Wait, Edward doesn't know you have it? He's not there with you?" I asked, a bit surprised he wasn't there for this important moment.

"No, I'm not sure where he is. When I got it…well… you were the first person I thought of telling," she admitted softly, and I couldn't resist smiling.

"Aw, thanks, sweetheart," l laughed, letting my drawl seep in there for her.

Ignoring me, she continued, "So, do you want me to get yours?"

After considering the ramifications of opening a rejection letter in front of Bella, at work no less, I attempted to answer with a confident tone, but failed. "No. I will check when I get home. Besides, my mom's there and you'd have to explain it all to her," I lied outright.

"Okay, but call me as soon as you get home, Jasper," she instructed, buying my lie, or at least letting me think she did.

"Of course. As soon as I get home," I assured her once again. "Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm proud of you," I said quietly, and I swear I heard her sniffle before a little gasp.

"Thanks, Jasper. I'll talk to you later,"

"Bye, Bella." I hung up, leaning back against the wall once again, my eyes never leaving the phone.

Some day I hoped that beauty would be mine.

"**~~**"

Two fucking weeks and three days had passed since Bella had received her acceptance letter. And exactly two fucking weeks since Edward had received his. In fact, he had received acceptance letters to both UW and Stanford.

I hadn't heard shit.

No acceptance. No rejection. Nothing.

To say I was nervous would be an understatement. My worst fears were quickly coming true, I would either hold them back, or they would have to go on without me. Either way I was royally fucked. The pessimist in me was prepared for the worst, for the day that thin envelope would come, proving what I already suspected.

I wasn't good enough. I wasn't smart enough. I just wasn't…enough.

A late Tuesday afternoon in March, Bella had given me a ride home after school, the hard rain had kept me from riding my motorcycle to school. She pulled her ancient truck into my driveway after we had ridden home in silence. I knew my mood was getting to them, bringing down their high, but it was beyond my control as I let my fear consume me.

Bella and Edward were always there with the encouraging words, desperately attempting to put my mind at ease. It didn't work but I would nod, agreeing that 'yes, of course I would get it'.

Yeah, right.

After shifting into park, Bella turned in her seat to look at me. "They could just go alphabetically, and you are a 'W'," she suggested with fake enthusiasm. She and Edward had both been trying to come up with ways to convince me not to worry, everything from it got lost in the mail, to the admissions secretary had fallen in love with my picture and had stashed the application away for later stalking.

Those were some pretty fucking piss-poor excuses.

Sighing, I open the door, dangling a boot in the rain before getting out. "I doubt it, Bella. It doesn't matter. I'm sure it'll be fine."

I had been trying to downplay my concern the past few days, even joking about it. Even though I knew they weren't buying it, it made us all feel better when they pretended to. "Do you want to come inside? We can go over that physics assignment?"

"Sure," she replied immediately." But first, let's check your mailbox."

Shaking my head, I got out and trudged through the mud to my mailbox, while Bella headed to my front door. I opened the little black door and reached inside.

Bill. Bill. Flyer. Another bill.

University of Washington envelope.

A bit dazed, I held it up to Bella.

"Get up here now," she yelled over the heavy rain. Obeying her, I walked to the bottom of the steps. She was under the roof of the porch, but I stood just out of it.

The rain poured down on me and my letter.

"Are you going to open it, Jasper?" She bit her lip, trying to hide her nerves and failing almost as much as I did.

Nodding, I shoved the other mail under my arm and slipped a finger under the flap of the envelope, sliding it along, tearing the wet paper as I went. It was now or never. Quickly, I unfolded the pieces of paper. My future, fuck, all our futures were in these words.

At first it seemed odd Edward wasn't here, he had been a staple at most of my life-altering moments.

He should be here.

I stopped before completely opening it, glancing up to Bella. "What about Edward? Should I wait for him?"

Shaking her head, she replied in an even, soothing voice, "No, Jasper. You were there for me, I will be here for you. Just open it. It'll be okay, remember?"

She was right - I could do this, and she would initially help me get through the bad news, but if I fell apart, I knew Edward would be there to pick up the pieces. Closing my eyes, I was thankful for the rain running down my face and blurring my vision, for when the tears fell at the words of rejection, they would blend in and Bella would not know the difference.

With a deep breath, I opened my eyes and read the first sentence.

Congratulations, we are pleased to inform you-

I had been accepted.

I didn't even read the rest of the letter. I looked up at Bella as she stood on my porch, looking as beautiful as ever in her oversized brown corduroy jacket, baggy jeans and duck boots, soaked brown waves of hair lying on her shoulders. Her gaze was on mine, wide with worry and fear and nerves, lips full being pulled between her teeth. Any attempt at hiding my grin was futile, and with a scream she leaped from the porch into my waiting arms, her arms around my neck, her legs gripping my waist.

As the rain fell, I wrapped my arms around her small frame tightly, placing my hands on her ass as I spun her around, her head back, her hair flying out behind her, spitting streams of water from its ends. "I knew it, I knew you would get in," she shouted with a grin as wide was mine.

"Yeah, well you had more faith in me than I did, baby," I let the endearment slip and suddenly, she lifted her head, her eyes now wide with sheer joy, and a bit of surprise.

When I saw the look on her face, I stopped turning, and stood still. Staring into her eyes, I saw a brief flash of what I see in the mirror every day: want, desire, need.

I never expected her to lean in, to breathe her sweet gasps on my face before pressing her soft lips to mine, molding them gently around me.

I never expected to feel her heart pounding against my chest as I crushed her body to me, one hand traveling up her back to tangle in the ends of her hair.

I never expected to feel her moist, warm tongue run along my bottom lip before she took my upper one in her mouth.

I never expected to return the favor, accepting the invitation, letting my tongue roam and explore and taste her before retreating.

I never expected to feel her hands in my hair, holding my face to hers as her fingers twisted and tugged my wet curls.

I never expected to get accepted.

In the rain, we stood like that, her lips on mine, hearts racing, tongues testing limits, hands roaming freely. Moaning into her mouth when her legs tightened around my waist, I groped her ass, shifting her closer to me and felt her purposely arch, rubbing against me.

All I could think was don't stop.

And we had entirely too many clothes on.

Bella and I were kissing. Not just a peck on the cheek, but an open-mouthed, moan-worthy, 'oh-my-fucking-god-I-need-you-so-bad' kiss.

Breathing heavily, she pulled back and her look of bliss quickly faded to one of concern.

Fuck, she regretted it.

My heart broke even as my body still hummed from her touch.

"Fuck, Bella, I'm so …sorry," I hesitated, not sure what to say to make it right, to take back the last few minutes.

Obviously confused, she asked, "For what?"

"For that. For kissing you. It was wrong. I'm sorry," I let her body slide down mine, inwardly groaning as she passed over my semi-hard cock, until her feet were on the ground. However, my arms remained around her, apparently not quite ready to let her go completely.

"Jasper, don't worry about it. It's not a big deal."

My heart crushed a bit with those words, because to me, it was a big deal.

"It was a heat of the moment thing," she tried to smile as I let her break free from my grasp. "Besides, you know if Edward had been here, he would have done the exact same thing," she joked, smirking.

I couldn't help but laugh of the image of Edward leaping off the steps into my arms. Now that would be quite the sight.

Bella placed her hand in mind, tugging me toward the front door. "Come on, Hale, let's get inside and call Edward with the good news." I nodded, following her up the steps, my letter securely in my hand.

Being accepted to college, knowing I wasn't going to be left behind, or hold them back, was a tangle of feelings like none other: exciting, frightening, relieving.

But it was nothing compared to the feeling of Bella's lips on mine.

"**~~**"

A week later, I was at home laying on my bed and supposedly studying for midterms, but I found my mind wandering to Bella's lips on mine. I had found myself doing that a lot lately, and usually at the most inopportune times. Sometimes I would find myself staring at her during lunch, remembering those legs wrapped around me, those soft delicate lips pressed against mine, and then my eyes would catch Edward's questioning glances, and I would blush and turn away quickly.

There was a small knock on my door, and before I could answer, the door opened and Bella walked in. I looked up to see wet cheeks and reddened eyes, she had been crying. Immediately, I sat up, opening my arms to her, not even asking what had brought on the tears, the need to comfort them away was more important than knowing why they were there to begin with.

She fell into my arms, sitting on my lap, her face buried in her hands as she sniffled and cried through her words.

"I didn't get in," she mumbled as I soothingly stroked her back, and kissed the stop of her head.

"Ssshh, it's okay," I paused, taking in her words. "Wait, what do you mean you didn't get in? You got your letter weeks ago."

Sighing, she wiped her nose with her sleeve, and looked up at me with beautiful, watery chocolate eyes. "Dartmouth."

"Oh, Bella. I'm sorry," I replied softly, pulling her back to me, trying to think of something consoling to say.

In a quiet voice, she spoke. "It's okay. I mean, I knew I was going to go to UW once I was accepted, but I just wanted to know I was good enough to get into Dartmouth." She leaned back against me, resting her cheek against my cotton tee shirt, before continuing. "I guess I wasn't good enough," she whispered.

"What? No, Bella, don't even begin to think that. You are good enough. It's them, they don't deserve you."

It sounded so cliché, but it was the best I could do, I knew how lost and insecure she felt, having been there only a few weeks prior, and I wanted nothing more than to chase that feeling away for her. I wished Edward was with us because he would know what do to, what to say to make it better, to ease her pain. I just murmured overused phrases and wished I could kiss her sadness away.

Having her in my lap, her body warm and tight against mine, her face snuggled in my chest, taking in my scent with each calming breath she took, my body wanted nothing more than to take her mind off her worries with soft caresses and gentle kisses.

Instead, I lavished her with words of encouragement on her intelligence, strength and courage while I held her, my hands on her back and in her hair. When her steady cries had wilted to occasional sniffles, I shifted my body, grabbing her around her waist, supporting her as I helped her stand.

I sat on the edge of my bed while she stood between my spread legs, and reached up to cup her face in my hands, wiping the last of her tears away.

"No more tears, okay? It kills me to see you like this," I mumbled as she took a step toward me, fitting snug between my thighs, her hands wrapped around my neck drawing my head to her stomach. Leaning my forehead on her, I rested my hands on her hips while her fingers combed through my tangled waves.

"No more tears, Jasper. I promise. We did it. We all got in and we'll still be together. That's something to be thankful for, right?" I could feel her voice vibrate through her body and it sent a shiver down my spine. As much I wanted her hands to stay in my hair forever, I leaned back, and she let them fall off my shoulders.

"Yes, very thankful." I stood up, grabbing her hand in mine. "Let's go see Edward and tell him the good news."

"The good news?" she scoffed. "Gee, thanks, Hale."

Hale.

That was a good sign.

"Yes, the good news. We are going to be taking him up on that offer for off-campus housing. I bet he can't wait to find out he will be living with us for the next four years"

"That's assuming you are not on the five-year plan," she smirked.

Teasing.

Another good sign.

"Wait, what about your homework?" she asked, glancing back at the papers and books on top of my bed.

Shaking my head, I tugged her toward the door again. "It's not important. You are. Come on." I grinned.

I sat in the passenger seat of Bella's truck while she drove us to Edward's. Resting my head on the window, I thought about the letter I had received earlier in the day. My acceptance letting to University of Texas had arrived, even offering a much larger scholarship than UW, but I knew I would be passing on their offer. It would be more difficult to pay for UW and my parents would have to help out in addition to some student loans that I would be paying off for years. Still, any extra monetary price I had to pay would be worth it to stay with Bella and Edward. Edward knew my concern over cost, he knew the money I had been saving since I had started working and how little I spent in order to help out with cost of college. If he knew I was giving up a scholarship to stay with him and Bella, he would not approve, and I knew he would try to talk me out of it.

It killed my pride, but I had accepted the Doc's and Mrs. C's offer to find an off-campus house for the three of us. They knew it would not be beneficial for us to be split up, in separate dorms with new roommates. It would slowly drive each of us insane. Of course, we would probably drive each other crazy living together as well. We were together a lot but this would be unknown territory - the last frontier.

We didn't want new roomies to keep us up at night with their boyfriends or girlfriends, and we didn't need other people to whom we would tell our deep dark secrets.

We only wanted each other.

As Bella pulled into Edward's driveway, she glanced over at me. "You've been awful quiet. What's wrong?"

I decided then that their sympathy would be better than their attempts to convince me to take the scholarship.

"Nothing's wrong, but if it makes you feel better, I got my letter from Texas today," I said quietly in the warm cab of the truck as her eyes widened in anticipation.

"And?" she coaxed.

Sighing, I lied to Bella for the first time. "I didn't get in." The look of pity was quick on her face, as I knew it would be.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I know you wanted to go there, that you wanted to go home again. How did the Major take it?" She knew I had applied to Texas as much for my parents as I had for me.

"Umm, he was okay. Disappointed, of course, and my mom gave me the 'everything happens for a reason' speech. But overall, they're fine. Not much they can do about it, I suppose."

I opened the door, but stopped and looked at Bella. "She's right. This way I don't have to decide between the schools."

"Yeah, but still…" she trailed off and I knew what she meant. Just as she wanted to know she was good enough for Dartmouth, she wanted me to have that same validation.

What she didn't know was I already had that validation. I knew I was good enough for Texas, even worthy of a scholarship, but I didn't need that validation.

I needed them.

With a smile, she pulled the keys from the ignition and opened her door. "God, we're going to drive Edward nuts when we live with him, aren't we?"

"Hell, yeah, why do you think I'm going?" Laughing, we got out and headed to his front door.

I now had two secrets I was keeping from my best friends.

"**~~**"

Before we knew it, graduation day was rapidly approaching. Since the end of March, Edward, Bella and I had been busy with working, school and just enjoying the end of our senior year. We were even pseudo social and attended a few year-end parties - one at Jessica's and one at Lauren's.

While it was nice to hang out with our classmates one last time, as I sat at one party watching Newton hit on Jessica and I witnessed Eric's inability to handle alcohol, I realized I wouldn't miss these people.

As long as I had Bella and Edward, I would have everyone I needed.

The Doc had leased an off-campus three-bedroom, two-bath house for us, about fifteen minutes from campus. Each time we spoke about it, the excitement of being on our own grew. We were all pretty independent already, but to have complete freedom - no dorm RAs or parents to answer to - was something we were still trying to wrap our minds around and would take some getting used to. Bella and Edward had already banned me from the kitchen, knowing my lack of any kind of cooking skills. If it wasn't microwaveable or it didn't come in a can, I didn't even attempt to cook it.

We had a rough idea of our class schedules and Bella and Edward had planned on nightly cooking duties. However, not having any cooking duties meant I was stuck with some extra chores. Emptying the trash and weekly vacuuming would be left to me.

Graduation day came, and I stood in my room knotting the tie around my neck when my mom walked in.

"You look so handsome, Jasper," she said, almost in tears already. Rolling my eyes, I finished doing my tie and turned to her.

"Thanks, Mom. Might want to take a picture, though, because I probably won't be dressing this nice again until my wedding." I smiled, grabbing my red cap and gown off my bed. "Ready to go?"

"In a minute," she said quietly, moving closer to me. "I just want you to know how proud your father and I are of you. I know it wasn't easy for you when we moved here and not a day goes by that I'm not thankful that Edward walked into your life."

I saw her eyes begin to water. "And now you will be off to college in a few months, and on your own." Crying now, she sniffled. "No matter what happens, we are proud of what you've accomplished and the man you've become."

She held out her arms and I walked into them, bending down to her height to whisper in her ear. "Thanks, Mom. I'm sorry I didn't get into Texas like you both wanted." After having told the lie so many times, even I had started to believe it; however the letter hidden deep in my dresser drawer was evidence of my lie. At first, I wasn't sure why I kept it, folded up under my underwear, but I soon realized it was proof…proof I was good enough, even if I was the only one that knew it.

Shaking her head, she pulled back and looked up at me. "No, Jasper, don't be sorry about that. You tried and that is all the matters. Washington will be wonderful for you and you will be with Bella and Edward." Pulling my head down, she placed a gentle 'mom-kiss' on my forehead. "I love you, Jasper."

"I love you too, Mom."

"Okay, now I am ready to go," she sniffled one last time.

I suffered though the heat of graduation, sweltering under the heavy robe, my curls more pronounced in the humidity, sticking out under my cap. I watched everyone receive their diplomas, cheering extra loud when Bella and Edward were called onto the stage. Bella looked beautiful, her smile wide, her eyes bright with pride. Even Edward showed rare excitement as he raised both arms in the air after being handed his diploma.

"Mr. Jasper Whitlock," Principle Marcus called my name, bringing me out of my daze as I stood in the line waiting for my turn. I walked on the stage, shaking hands, grabbing my diploma and I heard Edward and Bella in unison.

"Hale yeah, Whitlock!"

Blushing, I turned to them and winked as I walked off the stage and made my way back to my seat. After the speeches and special awards, I had officially graduated from Forks High School.

Thank fucking God.

"**~~**"

Dangling my feet over the sides of the floatie, I watched as Edward dived into the deep end of his pool, his lithe body creating a wake as it entered the warm water. To my left, Bella lay on a floatie similar to mine, her bikini-clad body tan from the late summer sun and I found it more than difficult to keep from staring at her.

"I can tell you're looking at me, "she chuckled, eyes still closed.

"You can not," I denied quickly, averting my eyes to Edward's body under the water.

"Well, you basically just admitted you were,"

Sighing, I saw no use in continuing. She was right anyway, as she always was. Edward pushed through the water between us, his hair slicked back on his head, reflecting the sun in shimmering red hues. Shaking his head, he sprayed water all over us and Bella screamed profanities at him for getting her wet.

"But Bella, you're in a pool, it's kind of expected to get wet," he explained once her rant had quieted down a bit.

"Yes, but on my conditions, not yours."

Edward's eyes met mine and I nodded in agreement, knowing his plan without even speaking. Bella closed her eyes once again, relaxing back on her raft. As Edward dunked back under the water, I called Bella's name to distract her just before he resurfaced on the other side of her, tipping her floatie over, dumping Bella into the water.

Laughing, I jumped off my floatie and swam for the edge, not wanting to face Bella's wrath in the water where she could drown me. I heard her break through the water behind me, swearing that Edward would not continue to have the correct equipment much longer to bear children.

Pulling myself out of the water, I sat on the edge, watching them spray water at each other, playfully grabbing, shoving and pushing. Edward easily picked Bella up over his head, tossing her into the water with a huge splash, a smile on his face the entire time he teased her. His hands not shy about touching her all over, her waist, hips, back, even in her skimpy bikini. All the places my fingers itched to caress the bare skin of.

I felt slight twinge of jealousy that grew when I saw what a beautiful couple they made. Not only were they physically beautiful together, but they just… fit. Edward was good for Bella - he encouraged her, made her laugh and made her feel she could do anything.

I had done none of those things for her.

Jumping when the drops of water sprayed at me, I glared at Bella. "What the hell?"

Mimicking Edward, she raised an eyebrow at me, her wet sleek body calling to me. "But Jasper, you're in a pool, kind of expected to get wet."

I shook my head, trying to stop the smile from spreading into a full grin. Before I knew it, they were sitting beside me, one each side, at the edge of the pool. Edward dangled his feet in the water, while Bella hugged her knees to her chest.

Edward nudged my shoulder with his. "So, two more weeks and we are moving to college. Can you believe it?"

"No," both Bella and I replied loudly.

"High school flew by," Bella sighed. "But I am so ready to move on." Edward and I nodded in agreement.

"Do you think UW is ready for us?" I asked, twirling my feet in the water, leaning back on my palms.

Edward chuckled, "Fuck, no."

Laughing, Bella put a hand out over my lap, palm up, Edward and I both stared at it expectedly.

"Let's make a vow-" she began.

"Vow? What, are we all getting married? Not sure that's legal in this state," Edward snickered, interrupting her.

"Fine," she began, a bit exasperated and raised an eyebrow "A promise…better?"

"Much. Please continue."

I just sat back watching the verbal banter between them, confirming my earlier thoughts and musings on what a perfect couple they would make - beautiful, witty, comfortable…lovers.

"A promise to never split up, to never leave one another behind, to always be together no matter what happens," she finished quietly.

Glancing over at Edward, I winked. "Damn, Edward, it looks like you and I will not be running away together after all."

The pain in my right shoulder from his hand was instantaneous, but worth the grin I saw on his face. "Okay, Bella. I promise….that Jasper and I will not run off to get married, leaving you behind."

My long dried curls shook as I tried to contain the laughter that bubbled up inside of me. Edward now held Bella's hand in his own over my lap, and of course, a second later, mine covered both their hands.

"I promise, too, Bella. No matter how much Edward tries to seduce me."

As I glanced between my two best friends, I realized I could not survive without either of them. Regardless of my feelings for Bella, I would not chance my friendship with her, or Edward, for the slight chance at love.

This was my life, and it was perfect as is.

But as I watched Bella's face light up at our joking, her eyes wide and happy, cheeks freckled and bronzed from the sun, her hair drying in messy waves, I knew my life could be more perfect.

If she could ever love me back.

I sighed.

That beauty would never be mine.