I sat on the bed, idly chewing a nail, pondering over what Amber had told me a few hours ago. I understood what she was saying, but surmounting our differences seemed freaking impossible. I was human in my mind, and he, a male Carpathian. Dominant to a fault, jealous, and ultimately protective.
Did he even love me as a person? Or was it the lifemate bond that forced him to love me? I'll admit, I did have strong feelings for him, but I barely knew him. He was still like a stranger off the street to me. I mean, I didn't know anything about him. What did he like and dislike? What were his hobbies? I knew nothing, and it made me feel damn guilty.
"Lifemate?" I heard from the door. I looked up to see Vincent, worry shining in his eyes, and I realized that I was giving off my emotions again.
"I'm sorry," I apologized quietly. "I've been a coward trying to run from this, and I apologize."
"Es-"
"Please, lifemate." I took a breath, then trudged on. "I know nothing about you at all, and I haven't bothered to find out. I haven't made any attempt to cross this boundary we have. I know I wasn't your first choice, I mean, there's probably been so many women that-"
"There has been no one, Esmeralda," Vincent told me, immediately walking over to me. I stopped him with my hand in the air, wanting to finish my thought.
"Well, if that's true, then I still haven't made any attempt to make this relationship work. I've been childish, still stuck thinking like a human. I'll try, Vincent. I really will. But sometimes instincts are hard to break."
"It's all I can ask for," he said, coming to his knees in front of me. "And I apologize as well. You are a Carpathian, but you know nothing of the males of our race. I have treated you abominably, I realize, and I persisted in thinking you would acquire a Carpathian mindset overnight. We have both made mistakes. Don't feel as if you were the driving force behind our fights."
"I'm still sorry," I repeated, and Vincent stroked my cheek with his fingers, and I leaned into the touch, letting my cheek rest on his palm.
"As am I. We will both have to learn together, no?" I nodded and smiled tentatively.
"Vincent?" He looked up at my question, waiting for me to continue. "What's your favorite color?" I saw the surprise he tried to hide, but he masked it after a few seconds.
"Blue."
"What is your favorite animal?"
"The dragon. Why are you asking these questions?"
"Because I don't know the answer to them," I replied. "I've never bothered to find out, and I'm trying to change that."
"Lifemate, release this unreasonable guilt you carry. We will have lifetimes together to learn of one another, and when we fully share our minds, our memories will bind us as much as your questions." I immediately looked away again, the shame and guilt overwhelming.
"I haven't tried to share your mind, have I?" I asked softly.
"You've done more than I thought possible," Vincent quickly amended, placing both of his hands on my cheeks and bringing my forehead to rest against his. "You saved me from choosing the dawn, even if you didn't know it."
"How?" I asked. "I didn't do anything."
"It was your mind that turned to me through the years. I could only follow the path that you left behind." With this, my eyes widened, and I looked deep into Vincent's eyes.
"You mean, you felt me? When I dreamed of you?"
"Yes," he affirmed. "Your mind always found mine, yet something blocked me from tracing the path back to your own mind. But lifemate, I looked forward to those times. Whenever you dreamed of me, we were one. I could feel and see as if you were close to me." He inhaled and his grip tightened, but he exhaled and softened, as if he was savoring the contact. "You brought me a sense of peace when I needed it most, and I scoured the world to find you."
I remembered how close I had felt when I dreamed of Vincent, as if we really were one being, and if I admitted it, I missed that sensation of serenity. I could feel his emotions as if they were my own, and his memories seemed like I had lived them instead of him. It was a curious thing but something inside me wanted it more than anything.
"Why couldn't you find me?" I asked, my mother's death flittering through my mind before it vanished.
"Your necklace." He reached into my shirt and as he did, his knuckles brushed the top of my breasts. Immediately I felt liquid heat as he slowly drew out my necklace. His eyes connected with mine, his eyes darkened with the promise of pleasure, and I could feel the sexual web threatening to swallow me whole.
"My necklace?" I asked, my voice breathless and husky. He held the necklace in his hand, but our attention was no longer on the jewelry I wore.
"I cannot wait much longer, lifemate. For you, I wait, but my beast calls to me." Normally I would have shuddered, but resolved, I reached out my hand and touched his temple lightly. Was I consenting? Or was I lost in this spell he wove? I didn't know, but either choice he made I would have accepted. Maybe I was losing myself in the promise of love as I wished to for my whole life, or maybe I was lusting after Vincent more than I thought I would. But I knew that if he took me right this instant on this bed, I would have no regrets.
"I…" I gulped, but continued. "I'm conflicted. I don't know what to do." Perhaps it was the wrong thing to admit, because he groaned and nuzzled my neck, and I immediately moved to give him better access. His teeth scraped the pulsing veins of my neck, eliciting a moan from me, but he finally tore himself away.
"You will want me before I take you," he told me as well as himself. "I'll have to control myself until then…for both of our sakes." Did I really want that?
"I'm sorry," I apologized softly. "I'm thinking like a human again." But sex with any man, including Vincent, was difficult to think about. Of course, I had little to no self esteem, and baring your body to a man was definitely a sign of trust and love. I couldn't handle rejection or disgust from Vincent because it would absolutely destroy me.
"It is who you are. You will think as both in time," Vincent replied, responding immediately to my guilt.
"It's time we don't have. Your beast will keep coming and becoming more aggressive towards other men, right? What if you killed a man just because he looked at me? I would be indirectly responsible for his death."
"I would never kill an innocent," Vincent swore, his eyes sparking angrily. "It would turn me to a nosferatu and I will not allow my turning to leave you unprotected. Lifemate," he said with a sigh, calming himself enough to stand me up and hug me, using his body almost as a human shield. "I will never kill any man who chooses to come after you. I swear on my honor as a Carpathian." The promise did help me to feel better, though I did note he left out every torture available in his disposal. But it was enough for now, and I would take Vincent for all of his faults. He was my god, after all.
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*
The man watched the footage from the Carpathian Mountains for the tenth time in the last hour; he was determined to find a single frame of any sort of animal or vampire, but he saw nothing. Inwardly he swore and fought the urge to throw the television into the wall. Of course, he could always replace the television, but he prided himself on self control, and it would do him no good to throw a childish temper tantrum.
Vampires were cunning, evil creatures, and deserved to die by sunrise. The ones who had killed his wife had suffered the same fate, but he didn't stop there. What of the other vampires who lurked the nights, killing the innocent humans and turning them into mindless ghouls? If he could kill those few, he could rid the world of a taint that should have been cleansed long ago.
He rewound the tape once more, watching the foliage in the background for any movement, his eyes shrewd as he scanned the footage. So absorbed was he that he nearly missed the knock to his door, but he cursed and glared at the shut door.
"What?" he barked, taking inward pride of his ability to instill fear in his followers.
"Andrews, sir!" With this, the man perked up and immediately pushed the button to allow the man entrance. His spy stumbled in, looking quite haggard and unkempt, and the man curled his lip in disgust. However, he tolerated his spy's appearance for the information he possessed, and waited impatiently for the man to speak up.
"What did you find?"
"The society's run by fucking madmen," Andrews replied. "I saw some of those fuckers dissect a human woman because she was dressed like a vampire. They knew she wasn't one of them, but the sick fucks tore her open just because they could." His spy's hand trembled, betraying the scarring impact of the memory, and the man noted this. Andrews had been through truly horrific aspects of war, and for him to betray a small emotion such as his hand meant thousands of words in the leader's mind.
"And what does this mean?"
"No deal," Andrews replied. "No one knows who their leader is. They just follow any sort of orders like whipped bitches." Andrews reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a cigarette, nervously flipping it through nimble fingers as he resisted the urge to light it. "They would be a liability in our cause, and for all they know, they could be run by vampires."
The man leaned back in his chair but tossed a lighter to Andrews all the same. He didn't mind cigarette smoke as a rule, and it seemed as if the spy needed the vice to continue his report. However, the report was quite troubling. The man had heard of the Society; he heard it was a frontal assault against the vampires. Many of the vampires had been slain by the society, but darker rumors had inspired him to send his spy into their ranks, and for once, he was glad of his instincts. If he hadn't of checked, he would have joined the organization and would have been forced to dispatch of their ranks. Whoever harmed innocents deserved to die, no matter their race.
"I see. We cannot afford to impede the society. Our men are too valuable to be wasted in that line of work."
"Agreed," Andrews stated, taking a deep breath and exhaling toward the other part of the room, as he knew his boss preferred. "Leave them alone for now. They will not come after us unless they feel us a threat."
"Understood. I want you to withdraw from the Society for now." Relief flashed through the spy's eyes as he turned back to his employer.
"Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but why?" he asked, rolling his cigarette in his mouth idly.
"You'll crack," the man replied without hesitation. He knew the signs of breaking a person, and Andrews was showing the classic signs. This meant that what he had gone through was truly horrific, and though an insider would provide vital intelligence of the Society, it wasn't worth risking his best spy for the job. "And I'll be sending you straight to the source to scout for me."
"The Carpathian Mountains?" Andrews asked, nearly dropping his cigarette. It was a slight bobble, which an untrained eye would have missed, but his employer noted the hesitation.
"You will report intelligence, nothing more. Go home and I will contact you when I'm ready for you to move out."
"Right, Ty." The man blinked at the spy, knowing Andrews was calling his nickname to irk him, but he refused to show it. "Mr. Williamson," Andrews finally said, tossing the lighter back to Tyler, and exiting the room. Tyler caught the lighter easily, his natural reflexes quick and effortless, and stared at the spot where his spy had stood.
So, the Society was not to be trusted. He would continue the fight alone as he had always done, but he didn't despair. In fact, he relished the destruction of the immortal monsters, and in return, he kept living to avenge the memory of his wife.
*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*8*
A few moments were all I had with Vincent before he left with Mikhail, Jacques, and Lyon, leaving the women inside the house with strict regulations. We were not allowed outside for any reason, and we had to keep in sight of Raven and Shea at all times. I could understand and abide by these rules for the day, but if I was going to have to live like this, I would definitely have a problem. I could sense Victoria going a bit stir crazy and I couldn't blame her. Shea and Raven were amiable companions, but we were just so boring! They were grown women and us, teenagers on the brink of womanhood. We had little no to nothing in common.
"Why did they leave?" Catie asked for what seemed like the billionth time, but was in fact her second time asking.
"A vampire has been stalking the area for quite some time now," Raven answered immediately. "He's probably sensed the new Carpathian women and is quite interested."
"Then why haven't they caught him?" Victoria asked, her foot tapping out a rhythm only she knew.
"He's a master and an ancient one at that. He hides his trail and lair well and my lifemate has been hunting him for months."
"Well, why can't he find him? Why not bring backup?" Catie asked, and this time, Victoria glared.
"He did, dumbass."
"Hey, shut the hell up!" Catie snarled back, leaping to her feet as energy began to surge around her. I turned to look at the two, debating on if I should step in and stop the spectacle, but I wondered who would win this cat fight.
"You shut up first!" Victoria jumped to her feet, ready to fly at Catie, and calmly I looked back and forth between both women.
"Five on Victoria even if she has horrible comebacks."
"You're on," Amber stated before slapping a five onto the table between us. As I watched the two women square off, Shea stepped between them and pushed them away from one another.
"Please, calm down for one moment." Catie and Victoria, however, were still glaring at one another, ready to attack the other if they so much as lowered their guard.
"Bet still stands," I muttered.
"You bet your ass it does," Amber shot back. So sue us, but we were bored as they were, and a little drama always seemed to spice up the night.
"Enough, please!" Shea cried out in reprimand, only one a mother could use on their children. With that, it seemed to deflate both Catie and Victoria, though they still glared at one another like rabid animals. "I can feel the dark taint of a vampire!"
With this, Raven leapt to her feet and began to scan the room, both with her eyes and strong Carpathian senses. I quirked an eyebrow, but really didn't believe them. I mean, if there was a vampire, he'd be attacking us and trying to take us, not…wait…
"If there is a vampire, what is he doing to make you think he's here?" I asked, highly confused. There was no tell tale signs of energy around me, and my sixth sense was definitely quiet.
"He's feed off of their emotions," Raven explained quietly.
"What?" I asked in disbelief. I looked to Amber, who looked somber and grave, and sobered. "Okay okay. So they're feeding off of emotions. What does that mean?"
Raven took Catie into her arms, taking a protective stance, and Shea copied the action with Victoria. Immediately, their faces smoothed and their anger disappeared like it had never been, leaving me shocked with the sudden transformation. They were spitting mad a few seconds ago!
"A vampire, if he can trace your mind, can heighten your emotions to the brink of madness," Raven said, looking outside, trying to sense if the vampire was even near. Amber saw this and took over the explanation.
"What she means is if Catie and Victoria got so mad and left the house, he could have gotten them. Maybe the men are close to his lair and he tried to lure them back home with a fight. Maybe he gets off on anger. Who knows? The only thing I can tell you for certain is that he's close to us and knows there are three newly turned Carpathian women. He'll want to take you to forcibly bind you to him."
"But I'm Vincent's lifemate," I replied. "And Diego and Lyon are their lifemates."
"They've been bonded," Amber explained, her voice and features sympathetic. It took me a moment to realize what she meant, and my face colored.
"You mean I've been the one who's been drawing these vampires?"
"No," Shea said with a tone of finality. "Vampires will always find a reason to attack a female Carpathian. You are just the greatest target at the moment."
No matter what they said, I still felt a twinge of guilt, and I wanted to reach out to my lifemate for reassurance. However, my human side stopped me before I could contact him, worrying about how I would distract him in hunting the vampire. But the Carpathian side of me wanted to at least hear one word from Vincent, to know I was still in his good graces. I didn't know which side to listen to, and I didn't want to vocalize my dilemma. Shea and Raven were fending off a vampire, even if it was just a small fraction of his power, and I wasn't going to disturb them with my guilt and struggle.
"Contact Vincent," Raven finally said, her voice soothing." I can feel your turmoil and it's exactly what the vampire feeds on. Contact him." Again, I hesitated, the urge to contact him sharp and strong.
"Mor forwyn," Vincent purred, his voice soothing. "What is wrong?"
"I think I called a vampire to us….again. It was because I wasn't bonded with you." I was glad of Vincent taking the choice from me; I probably wouldn't have decided easily or at all.
"This is not you, lifemate. This vampire is very cunning and he senses we are close to his lair." I could sense Vincent flying, scanning the world around him for an evil taint. "He wishes to distract us and knew our women would make ample distraction. All of the women were under attack, but you, Raven, and Shea were protected and stopped the madness before it began."
"What do you mean?" I began to use my sense to scan with Vincent, wanting something to do to alleviate my stigma of not being bonded.
"Raven and Shea are one in their lifemates minds and cannot be found. Your friends have not had time to learn how to meld completely with their lifemates. As long as they still think like humans, they will behave like humans in their mind. And you, lifemate, have the necklace that will always keep you safe." I stroked Rhiannon's necklace once before I drew my hand away, prepared to leave and let Vincent hunt the vampire.
"Vincent!" I cried out, fear and excitement rolled into one surge of emotion.
"What is it?" he asked, his voice all business.
"I sense him! The vampire!" I could feel Vincent scanning the area around him, but he felt nothing.
"He is not here, Esmeralda."
"Yes he is! I feel him through you!"
"I'm sorry, lifemate, but I must see for myself." I felt him stir in my mind, and felt his reluctance for what was to come. "Join your mind with my own. I know you are worried of this, but I must find the vampire before he harms an innocent."
However, I was beyond caring of merely sharing minds. I had accepted this, and was ready to take this next step into becoming a true Carpathian. Guided by Vincent, I felt myself entering his mind. Whereas before I had felt echoes of what he thought and felt, it was much stronger in his mind. I could think his thoughts as if they were my own and feel exactly what he was feeling, no matter how much he tried to shield me.
"Good, lifemate. Now scan for the vampire. Show me where he hides." I turned my mind to the vampire and felt Vincent shift with me, a curious sensation of almost being one being. I knew we hadn't completely merged, but it would be enough to find this vampire and extinguish him.
"There." I showed him exactly where I felt the evil thing, and the power of the aura nearly made me sick to my stomach.
"I know, lifemate. I hate for you to do this, but I cannot sense him. I need you to guide me to the entrance of his lair." I didn't know if I could actually do that, but I could take him where the evil was the most potent. "I will take control of this merge, lifemate, and will try to shield you as much as I can." I could feel a drain on myself and knew that I only had a limited amount of time before my fledgling power ran out once again.
"I'll try to hold on, lifemate. Please make it quick." I felt a hand brush against my cheek, a kiss press on my lips, and felt his gratitude for my acceptance. The mind merge wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be; I still had a sense of self.
Vincent turned my sense to the ground, and through his eyes, I saw the side of a mountain, craggy rocks jutting out from the ground. It would be a perfect hiding spot for vampires; it sported many places to hide and escape, and probably more than enough room to create a labyrinth of traps for the hunters. He would have many traps, probably each more deadly than the last, so I would have to protect Mikhail at all costs. He would refuse, of course, but he was my prince and I knew I would have to take the lead in finding the vampire.
I shook my head, clearing the thoughts from my head. They weren't my own but seemed as if they were, and I finally realized what a full mind merge would entail. I would be at one, though my own person, with dual thoughts and feelings. But, I knew that if I practiced, I could distinguish between the two. I already trusted Vincent enough with my mind. I knew this.
"Lifemate," he said gently, but I knew it was a reprimand. "You are my light, but I will need you together with me. I appreciate the concept, you understand."
"I do trust you," I whispered back.
"I know," he said arrogantly, which caused a slight laugh. Though just as suddenly as the laugh came, a wave of nausea swept over me. Bile leapt to my throat as I struggled to maintain the mind connection, and Vincent immediately clamped down on the sensation and began to track it. I fought the urge to turn away and kept with my lifemate as long as I could.
He swept down to one particularly evil looking rock formation and I saw the three hunters land beside of him, their faces blissfully eased of the sick tension I felt.
"Where Vincent?" I heard Mikhail ask through our mind merge.
"She feels the vampire in this tunnel," he answered. To me, he whispered. "This is all I need from you, lifemate. Please understand, it will scare you to stay with me as I fight this vampire. I want to spare you from that." He knew I would feel a bit rejected at the sudden loss of the merge, and I smiled as he tried to soothe me. Already he was getting to know me and caring for me, even though he was about to go into battle.
"I understand. Please come back home, lifemate." It was all I could say, but he felt my emotions. It was enough for the both of us and as he left my mind, I felt another kiss on my lips, this one lingering as his mind faded from mine.
I blinked as I saw through my own eyes once again, a sort of vertigo confusing me momentarily. As I refocused, I saw Shea and Raven watching me, their charges sitting beside them on the couches. Of course, Shea and Raven maintained contact through an arm over the fledgling's shoulders.
"What did your lifemate say?" Raven asked. I looked at her, worry shining in my eyes.
"I led him to the vampire's lair. They're going inside now."
All of the women in the room immediately turned pensive, but none of us contacted our lifemates. We wouldn't distract them as they hunted. But, there was one thought all of us shared as we stared out of the window.
We all wanted our lifemates to come back to us. No matter what.
