Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Outsiders.
(Language for warning)
Keep Moving
Neglected Jigsaw Puzzle
(Lucy POV)
Dallas let me crumble to the ground, he crumbled with me. I sat on his lap while sobbing very loudly. Every few minutes I would kiss his collarbone or his hand. His large paw was clasped into mine, rubbing the top of it with his thumb. Dally would kiss my forehead sweetly as I sobbed into the crock of his neck. Muttering the 'No' every few minutes while I cried. After a while, I began to calm down, only slight hiccupping as we sat. Then finally, I shut up all together.
After a moment of silence, I pulled myself away from Dallas. I dragged my feet as I scoffed off into the bathroom. After relieving myself of my burden, I washed my hands. While leaning into the sink, I stared at myself in the mirror. "Fuck you!" I said with the curl of my upper lip.
I shoved my hands out from under the water and smashed them against the mirror. It didn't do much but make a loud noise. Again I throw my fists at the mirror, screaming at the reflection. "I hate you!"
The mirror shook with vibrations as I hit it a third time. After throwing my fist against it one last time, it shattered. Most of it remained on the wall, enough of it so I could see the fucked up figure staring out from the mirror, me. I jumped onto the counter and started kicking the mirror with my foot. Again I began to smash my fists into the mirror, again and again. Mimicking the sound that was coming from the door. Dallas was screaming for me to open the door, but I was to busy fucking up the mirror. The rest of the mirror fell from the wall and crashed into the sink.
As I was trying to get off the counter, I slipped on the water that was all of the counter. My small body when tumbling to the floor with a thud. The pain shot through my back as I stood up. I mostly ignored it as I stood there in front of the counter, the sink full of water and the mirror. In the shards of mirror I could see myself wincing at my back pain. With hateful screams, I grabbed the pile of the mirror and throw them into the wall. Screaming at them crazily. I held my hands out in front of me as Dallas broke the hinges on the door. As the door popped off, he stormed in. Immediately he grabbed my wrists, examining my tender hands. My tears didn't go unnoticed as I stood there. Dally huddled next to me as he put his arm around my shoulder.
"I fucking hate it!" I sobbed as he set me on the couch. He looked at me through his hair, with serious eyes.
"What the hell happened to you Luc?" wouldn't you like to know. I was trembling again. So many emotions ran through me. Love. Hate. Fear. Anger. Mostly anger. And sadness. Lots of sadness. As he crouched in front of me, I laid my forehead on his shoulder.
"Where are your pants?" why? I've been half naked for the last hour that you've been here, why put pants on now? Besides I have no idea where they would be. Dallas put the back of my head into his hand and he leaned me back onto the couch.
"Where's the first aid and some pants?" he asked again. I bitterly chuckled, as I huddled my knees up to my chest. We wouldn't waste money on a first aid kit, are you insane. We need our alcohol. I shook my head at him. He grunted standing up, his finger pointing down at me.
"Don't move. I'm going to find you some pants." Dallas walked out of the room, with his swagger. Some things never change, Dallas never changes. that's because he is strong and tough. Like he's said before 'You're tough, nothing can touch ya.' he was right. When he came back he held a wet looking towel and a few of Smoothie's scarves.
"You guys have shit here, I couldn't even find pants." Dallas forced my hands out from my body. I had my elbows tucked into my sides, trying to be as small as possible. Still I sobbed while he cleaned off my hands. He wrapped them with the scarves. Dally then forced my legs into a sitting position, my feet on the floor. He unbuttoned the button that was in the wrong whole, then button up the shirt. Every button was in perfect alignment with the other. Each sticking through its matching whole.
Dallas then looked at me, staring into my watery eyes. He was searching for some answer to all of this, all of this shit. With my wrapped hands I grabbed the collar of his jacket, clenching it for support. Sobbing even loudly. Chocking out into the air, wishing that I never ran away. He looked around the room, then smiled slightly in victory. Dally stood up and walked over to the window sill. There was a pair of black sweat pants handing on it. Half of them were out the window, it was shut. Opening the window, he snatched the pants.
Crouching down in front of me again, he took my untied shoes off. He gently slipped Joan's pants on my legs. I'm a lot taller than Joan, which isn't saying much, so the pants didn't fit my legs. The bottom of them rose up above my ankles. Dallas grabbed the sides of the pants and yanked them up to my butt. Lifting me slightly off the couch as he did so. Then he grabbed my left shoe but stopped looking at me. His eyes told me he was a little annoyed but his voice was sweet and caring.
"Socks?" good luck. I sniffled a small sigh, leaning back onto the couch. My tears were silent now. No longer sobbing loudly, only small tears ran down my hot face. Getting back up, he left for one of the bedrooms. He came back with a purple sock and a white one. Kneeling down in front of me, he put the white sock on my left foot. When he went for my right, then stopped. Staring at the Pepsi-Cola bottle tattooed onto the top of my foot. He smoothed it over with his thumb.
"Tattoo?" he looked up at me surprised. That reminds me, I should get on for Ponyboy. I've gotten one for my parents, Soda and Darry, but not him. Without a word, I answered him with a slight unnoticeable nod. After looking back at my foot, he slid the purple sock onto my foot. Then he put my converse back on, tying them tight around my ankles.
Dallas stood in front of me, I was looking up at him sadly. He frowned down at me, sighing. "Lucy girl, your all broken."
I nodded, starting to cry harder again. What a weak, little, pathetic worm I am! You're fucking shit Lucy Lou Curtis! You'll always be shit! Taking off his leather jacket, he wrapped it around my shoulders. It was warm inside and I immediately shoved my arms into it. I hugged my body with the jacked as Dallas scooped me up into his arms. My legs dangled at his side as he carried me. We made our way to the door, me sobbing into his black long sleeve shirt. He turned us around to look at the small, disgraceful apartment. I didn't know where he was carrying me, but I knew it was away from here. That's all I need to know to convince me to go with him.
"Anything you want to take with you?" he mumbled sounding very uninterested and disgusted. I wonder if he hates this place as much as I do? He's only been here an hour or more and seems to loath it as I do. I just clenched onto his shirt, bringing my face down into the back of my covered hands.
"I didn't think so." Dally said turning around and leaving through the half open door. As he carried me through the long hallway to the stairs, I wondered if they would remember me. If they would realize that I had disappeared from the apartment. Perhaps the only thing that they will notice is that the bathroom was a mess. I then realized that I left the water running. Chuckling through my sobs as we went down the stairs. Looking up at Dally as he looked down at me.
"What?" for the first time I said something that made sense since he had been here.
"I left the water running." he smirked as he looked forward again.
"You would be concerned about that." Dallas mumbled as we left out the back door at the end of the stairs. The cold February air hit both out us like a ton of bricks. He carried me all the way to the end of the road, turning to the right, then left, than right again. We made it to a parking lot half empty of cars. I looked up to see the moon looking down at us. It was a small crescent smiling down at us. Light tears fell from my eyes as Dallas set me next to a blue 1957 Chevy Sedan. I bet this is Buck's cars, otherwise, it's stolen.
He opened the door and guided me inside. I leaned my back against the door as he hopped into the drivers seat. Dallas started the car, then backed it out of the parking space. Me feet were propped up onto the seat as I cradled myself into a ball against the seat. Dally drove in a quick motion, I watched him carefully. The way his eyes glared at the road while we went. His hands twisted on the steering wheel. Dally's knuckles were slightly white from how tight he was gripping the wheel. Every few minutes he would glance at me. To make sure I was still there or something.
Eventually we made it to the free way, we traveled south. At least, that's what I read on the sign. I was no longer crying by the time Dallas lit himself a cigarette. The lights on the sides of the road flashed in and out of the car. Only allowing me to see him every few seconds. He just looked at me, piercing me with his brown eyes. Frowning deeply as he looked back at the road.
"Luc, I don't know what to say." he said in a painful voice. "I knew you would be different but, Glory."
He went silent for a while after that. After a few minutes I scooted over to his tense body. I sat normal until he grabbed my legs and placed them on his lap. His right arm was stretched out around my back. Pulling me closer to him, I leaned into him. With his left hand, he drove. Raising my right hand to his cigarette, I took it from his mouth. Placing it in-between mine, taking a drag. I put it up to his, then he took a drag. My body leaned into his again, starting to drift off to sleep. But I fought it off, afraid that this would end. That everything that just happened in the last two hours was a dream. Dallas wouldn't be here. Instead of waking up on his lap, I would wake up on the floor of that nasty apartment. Dallas noticed my struggle for consciousness.
"Go to sleep, you need it." he said looking down at me under his chin. I took his shirt sleeve in my hand and clenched it.
"Will you be here when I wake up?" I mutter.
"I'm not going anywhere! Not without you." he said in a very serious voice. Nodding, I leaned into the crook of his neck. Taking in his natural body warmth.
I mumbled quietly. "Where are we going?"
"Home." home? I felt my body relax at the thought of it. I'm going home. The fear of being taken away from it guided up into my stomach and shook me. Trembling at the mere thought alone. What am I to do? Home is in my grasp. Love is in my hands, so close I can fucking feel it already. But if that was taken away from me, I would loose the rest of me. What's left isn't much already but the rest would be gone forever. Never to see the light of day again. It's hard to dig but it's true.
"Home." I sighed anxiously and nervously. Without another word I drifted off to sleep. Clinging to the only thing I hope to be real, Dallas FUCKING Winston.
(Dallas POV)
Fuck! I leaned my girl down onto the car seat carefully. Her legs draped over my lap while the rest of her nuzzled against the car seat. It wasn't long that I began to hear her rhythmic breathing as she slept. My hands gripped tightly to the steering wheel. Every now and then I would look over at my girl laying there. Cursing the whole world to hell. Damning ever single little shit head, right down to the newborn babies. Yep, I went there.
Look what the world has down to my girl. She is broken. So broken. I don't even know where to begin to but the pieces back together. Lucy is like a fucked up jigsaw puzzle. With a thousand pieces that create the puzzle. All the pieces are warped and deformed from misuse and neglect. My girl looks sick. So fucking skinny and pale. It was like I wasn't even carrying her when I was. The girl was lighter than a feather, and it scared me. She's always been pale but not like this. This is like the pale like she had before. When she showed up at Buck's vomiting, all gray and…..lifeless. Her eyes are hallow again. Showing me the nothingness that she has felt for the last four months.
It hurts me to see her like this. I didn't notice at first, but I had started to cry. Silent, angry tears fall down my cheeks. I pulled off the road into a pit stop. It had been about three hours that we have been driving and the sun should be up in about two to three hours. Parking, I turned the car off. Sliding out of the seat, I locked the door. After looking through the window at my girl, I reluctantly left her in there. My sorry crying ass made its way into the bathroom. I parked myself up against a urinal to take a leak. After doing my deed and washing my hands, I splashed my face with cool water. Growling at myself in the mirror as I walked past the last one. What a pussy I can be sometimes. Crying over something so…complex. It's just not me.
But she's my girl. Lucy Lou Curtis, my fragile little girl. She's broken and there's nothing I can do about it. Not now at least. I have to get her home. Before heading back towards that car, I bought myself a cup of coffee out of the machine. Then I made my way over to the other vending machines. Looking over my selections, I popped in some dollars. I bought; three waters, a Pepsi, Crackerjacks, a Payday and a few bags of chips. This should cover the two of us for a while. The only time I'm stopping is to get gas or to take a piss. Otherwise, it's open road. I've got to get her home.
I set all of the food and drinks on this side table thing in the lobby. Walking over to the payphone, I popped in a few quarters. Once I found Lucy, I said I would call the Curtis's. When I talked to them I told them to keep it between us, none of the gang should know until we think it was right. Also that if she is okay, I wouldn't bring her home unless she wanted me too. But if she was bad, like she is, that I would bring her home immediately after I find her. They didn't really know where I was looking for her, but they knew I was going. After Soda came to me a month or so ago, I told myself I was going to find her. I went to their house to discuss it with them. Darry convinced me to stay in Oklahoma a few more weeks. Told me it was best if I just wait. But then a month went by and there was no sign of her. It started to freak me out. And Dallas Winston doesn't freak out, ever. So I had to fix that fear I felt in my bones, and I left to find my girl. Driving in Buck's Chevy with a hunch and a bag of clothes, I set off for New York.
The first place I looked was Manhattan, the place with the blue birds. The birds were a secret underground foreign drug smugglers. My best friend was a part of their gang at one point, back in the day. I never really got tangled with them, which is a good thing. Last year I heard my body when down with the whole gang, getting fifteen in the penitentiary. Anyway, I told Luc about them once when we were a little younger. She dubbed them the blue birds.
Eventually, I followed a rumor about this Maggie Rogue Patrick, Lucy. People said she had killed herself over her boyfriend killing himself a while back. Sincerely, I couldn't decide which was worse; her killing herself or her having a boyfriend. The thought of her killing herself scared the shit out of me, I had to find her. I had to find the truth or the rumor would eat me alive! The rumor led me to Brooklyn. Which led me to this guy named Joey Cakers, brother of her dead "boyfriend". Joey told me that Rogue, Lucy, never dated his brother. But his brother had killed himself because he murdered a man that tried to date-rape Rogue. Out of frustration and anger, I blew up in the guys face, demanding to know who the guy was. He told me to chill because the guy was dead anyway. Then Joey told me if I needed more information, go find Chris Beacher. He was a former roommate of Rogue.
I found this Chris guy in the Bronx, getting high with his buddies. His information was for shit. After a little bit of yelling and a few swings of my fist, I got out of him his old apartment address. Chris told me it would be useless if I went there looking for Rogue because he had kicked her out of the apartment a while back. That just made me even more pissed off, so I hit him in the face again. From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew I didn't like him. After pleading with me to stop, he told me his ex might know where she was. Said her name was Joan. That she would be in Central park right around that time. So after punching him one last time for being a dick to Lucy, I left the alleyway. Feeling almost high from the fumes I breathed in.
After eating some lunch, I drove all the way to Central Park. It took me about an hour until I found Joan. She wasn't the prettiest of gals but she wasn't ugly either. Joan wore a red long sleeve shirt with jean overalls that were spattered with assortments of dried paints. Her blond hair was frizzy and curly at her shoulders. It was snowing out so I wondered why the hell she was out without a coat. She told me to fuck off, right before she saw me. When she turned around, Joan practically humped my leg. The girl was hornier than a male elephant in the Spring. I kept my mind on my girl though, not falling for any of her trickery.
Even though it was annoying talking to her, I got a lot of information. Found out Lucy was back living with her and Smoothie, her best friend. She told me that Rogue, Lucy, sings for her money at local clubs and bars. But most of the time never leaves the apartment. Joan told me that she barely takes care of herself. That if it wasn't for her and Smoothie then she wouldn't even bother to get off the damn floor. She told me my girl was out of it crazy. Loony. Psycho. In other words, depressed and lost. When I mentioned that, Joan's eyes got big and nodded her head yes. Saying 'That's what I'm trying to think of. The girl drinks all day long. Hardly ever eats or baths neither. Then she goes and starts crying for no reason. Freaks the hell out of me and Smoothie. And nightmares, damn is she ever noisy at night.'
Joan didn't seem at all interested in the welfare of my girl. She talked about her like she was some kind of brick that had been shit on and never cleaned off. Or like the dirt under her red chipped fingernails. It was there, but she didn't care about it enough to get it out from under her nails. Just like she didn't give a damn about my Lucy. I asked her why she lived with her if she caused such a fuss all the time. Her little prissy ass said, 'I didn't want her living on the streets, like Chris made her. She would of died.'
Lucy Lou Curtis has more courage in her left pinky toe than this girl had in her entire body. I didn't think Lucy would ever be so bad to the point that she couldn't take care of her self on the streets. She learned from the best didn't she, she could do it if it was needed. Luc has been living on the road, by herself, for almost five months. A little New York wouldn't do anything but toughen her up. Glory, was I wrong.
After checking the address with Joan, I was off. I had a late dinner, secretly preparing myself for what was to come. Was she going to have a melt down? Was my girl going to crash into my arms happily? There was no hint about how she would react seeing me. Even though I had some good solid information, it wasn't enough to decide what she would be like. I haven't seen my girl in almost five months. It's been a fucking train wreck! Sure I've had my way with a few broads. But that doesn't mean anything. Just a distraction that made me think about my girl more. I wanted to hold her in my arms. Make sure she is safe. Now that I've seen her, I know she isn't good. Worse then than I thought it would be. She's neglected as a person for five months. How the hell am I supposed to tell her brothers. Procrastinating isn't going to help me, I should just get on with it.
The phone rang four times before a sleep voice was on the other end. "Hulllo?" Darry slurred out.
"Darry, it's Dally." immediately Darry woke up with the realization.
"Dal! Didja….." I interrupted him.
"Yes, she's safe with me."
"Thank god, how is she?" he sounded desperate to know.
"I ain't gonna lie to ya Dar, but she's not doin so hot." I could almost hear him gulp through the phone.
"How bad is it?" Darry sounded a lot more serious then he did when he answered the phone.
"I'm bringing her home. She…I don't even know Dar."
"Well, what's she look like?" well hell!
"She's really fragile and skinny. Very emotional too. I've never seen her so emotional."
"You sound a little spooked?"
"I am Dar. There aren't to many things that would make me cringe, but this is one of them." I admitted puffing my chest out manly.
"I know Dal, I…I don't know what to day." he admitted. I didn't know what to say either, so I just gave him some info.
"Well, we are on our way. I'm not going to stop unless it's necessary. If everything goes as planed, then we should be there by Thursday night or Friday morning." I paused thinking about it. "Yeah, I'll call you if something comes up."
"Thanks for this Dal."
"Don't even worry about it Dar, she needs help or something. She needs her family." I nodded to myself. "I'll try to make things easy for her."
"Thanks ag…."
"Night Dar." I said interrupting him and hanging up the phone. In a quick motion, I gathered up my supplies. We were off on our way again.
