Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Outsiders.
(Language, tampons, lil bit of violence for warning) Kind of a dramatic chapter, kind of strange and a little pointless but oh well
Keep Moving
Crazy Day
(Lucy POV)
I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. When my eyes slid open, I noticed the floor of a car in my vision. Sitting up slowly, I looked around. No wonder my stomach was sick, the way Dally was driving. Once he noticed me, his head shot to me. Grinning happily at me. Even though it was a bitch thing to do, I didn't smile back. Truly, I wanted to just make my lips curl into the happy gesture but my lips wouldn't move. Dallas put his hand on my neck, rubbing my jaw with his thumb. I leaned into his hand with my eyes closed. When I opened my eyes again, I noticed he was pulling off the road. Then he parked into a pit stop parking lot. Only one other car was parked there.
"Where are we?" I whispered quietly.
"Believe it or not, I've gotten us all the way to Indiana in a day in a half." he smirk victoriously. "Only breaking the speed limit by fifteen over."
"Have I been asleep the entire time?"
"Yep, I'm just as surprised as you are. You had a few bad dreams that I thought you would wake up from but you never did." I looked down, embarrassed of myself. Who knows what I said while I was asleep, Dallas does. Besides, I can't even remember dreaming. I heard once that you couldn't dream during the day, but I guess it's possible.
"HEY!" I shot my head up. "Don't you ever feel embarrassed around me! There's no reason to be."
This time I did smile. It was a weak one, but a smile non the less. "That's my girl." he said smiling back.
"I've got to go to the bathroom." he said turning the car off. The two of us got out of the car. My legs felt like jell-o, so I leaned on the car. When I didn't come up next to Dally, who was walking towards the small building in front of us, he turned around. His face was worried as he looked at me.
"Don't you have to go? You haven't gone in like, two days." he said walking over to me.
"Yeah, I just…" I didn't want to admit that I felt like shit. Or that I wanted to die right then. That I wanted to cry myself back to sleep. That I wanted a brandy of some sort. Or that I'm weak. So fucking weak! I hate it.
Understanding me, he let me lean on him for support without a word. When we got inside the building, we stood in the middle of it. I looked to the men's room, then the women's. They were so far apart. Sighing in frustration I let go of Dally's arm. With shaky, unstable legs, I walked over to the women's room.
"I'll wait out here for ya." he told me.
"No, just meet me at the car." I said entering the bathroom. When I got into the bathroom, the sudden urge to urinate came over me. My legs moved quickly in a clumsily way to the nearest stall. When I was done, I flushed and stumbled over to the sink. When I got to a sink, I unwrapped my hands. They didn't look that bad, just a little tattered. After throwing the scarves away, I cleaned my hands gently. Then I noticed a cherry blond headed women crouched on the floor slightly. Her hands tucked around her stomach while she cradled her purse on her lap. She looked up at me with a worried face. A sad face, so I frowned. The women stood up and when she did I realized who she was. She was Dolly, the nurse that brought me out from the hospital when I got stabbed. At first I thought she recognized me, but who would. I'm a fucking train wreck. Dolly leaned over to my side of the counter as I dried my hands lightly.
"Hey, you got a tampon?" she said desperately.
"No, sorry." I said sincerely. She got up in my face, examining me. I'm surprised I recognized her, she looks different. Her hair is down in a messy gob of reddish locks. It was in her face and covering most of her blue eyes. Dolly's clothes were baggy but showed lots of skin. Her breasts were half showing in her spaghetti strap dress. The women had jeans under the dress that came over men's Adidas sneakers. Since I knew her, I wasn't at all freaked out that she was in my face, until she started to poke it a little.
"You look really familiar…" she mumbled to herself as she backed up. Dolly was starting to give me the willies! So I gave a small shrug and turned for the door. Then she grabbed my shoulder.
"WAIT! Please! Do you have a quarter?" when I went to look at her, she was pointing towards the tampon's dispenser. I shook my head no. I felt bad for her, even though I had no real reason to. Except maybe sharing the same desperate need for a tampon when you really, really need one.
"I'll be right back." I dragged my feet out of the bathroom. She followed me, opening the door as she stood in it's frame. Dally was waiting outside leaning against the car, talking to some guy. With tired legs, I carried my thin body over to them. He looked me up and down, making sure I wasn't harmed. As impolite as it was, I paid no attention to the man.
"Ready to go?" he asked."Do you have any quarters?" Dally looked at me for a minute before fishing in his pockets. He searched as I looked over at the guy. The man was smiling at me creepily. His hands in his giant coveralls. Winking at me, I turned back to Dal. Dallas handed me three quarters, emotionless in his face. Acting all tough for this tramp of a man.
"You okay?" I nodded turning around.
"Hey there girl. If you see my girl, Donna, tell her to hurry her little ass up!" I didn't turn around or acknowledge in any way that I heard him. Back in the bathroom, I handed her the quarters.
"Buy yourself a few, might need them." I turned to leave then looked back. "Oh, and your guy out there said to hurry up. Have a nice night Dolly."
She squeaked when I called her by name, but I kept moving out to the car. I was in the lobby when she spun me around to look at her.
"You're Lucy Lou Curtis, they've been looking for you back in Tulsa. Holy shit! Rumors said you robbed a bank or some shit and skipped town. Another one was that you went insane and were out on the loose. Damn, you look like hell." I was going to say 'You're one to talk.' but didn't.
"Where did ya go?" she asked trying to pull me back into the bathroom. I didn't want to go back in there, I wanted to go home. Outside the boys were looking at us, I gave Dal a pleading glace. Immediately he threw his cig behind him, marching back into the building. He lightly grabbed Dolly's wrist, giving her a death glare.
"Let her go." he sneered out. She seems like the crazy one. But who am I to judge, I wonder why she's acting like this. Like she has no compassion anymore. That thriving young nurse I remember meeting is long gone. Her personality is completely different, I wish I could help.
"Sir, this is one of my good friends! Lucy Lou Curtis. That chick that ran away from Tulsa, the loony they called her. Loony Lou Curtis." she said looking at Dallas desperately, like she didn't just insult me. Maybe it's drugs.
"What the hell happened to you Dolly?" I muttered leaning on Dallas. The guy came storming in.
"Donna, I've been fucking waiting for you for over thirty minutes."
"Lucy, I just want to talk. Let me go!" the guy came up behind her and ripped her from my wrist. Her nails dug into my skin as she was being pulled off. Opening one of the cuts and creating it to become larger. I winced back, leaning into Dally's side. I tried to hide the cut from Dallas, but he noticed right away. His eyes blazed angrily. Dally's arm swung back, punching the guy square in the face. What did he do? Dolly was the one who scratched me.
"Since I can't hit a chick, I hit you. Control you girl!" Dally pointed at him before he picked my up at the waist, relieving me of my heavy body. In a fast motion Dallas took the two of us back to the car. The other guy was half carrying, half dragging Dolly as she stuggled against him. She was screaming for me.
"No Lucy, I need a tampon! No! Rick leave me alone. Lucy I just want someone to talk to!" Dallas put me into the passenger seat. Then he went around the back as I unlocked his side for him. I didn't dare look over at the car that was a few spaced away from us. Dallas started the car and sped off down the road, cursing under his breath.
"Let me see your hand." I shoved my hand towards him. He cursed handing me a handkerchief out of his back pocket. To get it out he had to lift himself off the car seat. Arching his pelvis into the steering wheel. I lick my lips at the sight but quickly snapped out of my Dallas crazy mind as he talked to me."Put pressure on it." I did as told. We were silent for a while. Until he decided to bring up the weird experience at the pit stop.
"So did you know what weirdo?" I nodded giving him an unfortunate expression. He then asked how so I explained the situation. Dallas nodded his head yes, muttering 'Crazy bitch' to himself. Then we went silent again. The car was silent for about an hour before Dallas turned the radio on. I took the cloth off my cut that was no longer bleeding. After that I tore a piece of my shirt of and tied it over the cut. Absently I tossed the bloody cloth out the window without hesitation. Then I rolled the window up. Sighing to myself I looked over at Dallas. Who was staring at my actions with a smirk.
When he turned back to the road, I started to feel dizzy. It might have been the lack of food and water, but who knows. It's not like I don't go every few days without eating anyway. I'm just not hungry anymore or thirsty. I just want….I don't know what I want anymore. The only thing I know is that my parents are still gone and that I feel empty. That's all I understand. The rest is jumbled up inside my head. My sick, crazy, messed up head! A emotional tear fell down my cheek. Why do I keep doing this? Crying for no fucking reason. Even I know I'm crying for no reason. What ever happened to the days where I never cried because it was childish. There was no reason to cry, like now. I'm just feeling sorry for myself.
The sun was going down, closing to another day of my pathetic life. More tears crashed down my cheeks. Dripping down to Dallas's leather jacket off my chin. With tired eyes, Dallas looked over at me. Then back at the road, but did a double take looking, right back at me. His eyes got wide with worry and sadness. By this time I was shaking, but didn't make a sound.
"Luc, are…you crying?" he asked. It's not like I could deny it so I nodded. With his hand he motioned for me to scoot over to him. As I did he pulled me close to his chest.
"What happened to ya, Luc?" furiously I shook my head no, starting to sob a little. He kissed my hair."Okay, I can wait." he told me. Then night came. Still crying, he looked down at me. His face was unreadable.
"I think we should stop for the night. I said I wouldn't but maybe we should. What do you think?" I shrugged hugging his strong chest as I buried my face into his shoulder.
"We'll go for a little while more, then we'll get a room somewhere." I nodded. Being next to him calmed me down some. My mind was still floating around with depressing thoughts but I prevailed. Even though I was still shaking, I to reach up and kiss Dally's chin. He smiled at the road as I did. Again I kiss the bottom of his chin, and part of his neck. Then I rubbed my forehead into the spot I kissed. His arm that was around my shoulders tightened as he rubbed my right shoulder with his hand.
I took his leather jacket off after a while becoming hot. Then I scooted away from him just because I wanted to get more comfortable in the car. He gave me a look that told me he didn't want me to go away but I continued with my actions. But I couldn't get comfortable, so I settled for my feet over the top of the seat. My hair dangling off the bottom of the seat with my legs crossed. I looked up at Dallas clasping his hand in mine. The dizziness still remained as I closed my eyes.
After a while Dallas pulled off the road and reached behind us in the backseat. He retrieved a bottle of water, baked chips and a payday. I cringed at the sight and sat up right. My body subconsciously scooted away from him, leaning against the door. Dally noticed and frowned at me.
"Don't be like this." he told me opening the bottle of water. "Here, start with this."
Taking the water I took a sip. It felt like needles running down my throat. The sensation felt like I was going to vomit. I coked on the water as it slid down, then I started to come back up. Opening the car door, I vomited stomach acid onto the dirt. I'm not sure why I reacted like this but I did. Fucked up mind….fucked up body. It comes in pairs I guess. They go hand in hand. Stumbled outside of the car, going towards the wire fence. Putting water in my mouth I washed it as I leaned on the fence. I spit out the liquid and set the bottle on the ground. Dallas came up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I pulled away from him, feeling his eyes on me. When I looked at him, I saw how hurt he was.
"It's okay." I lost my temper at Dallas. All my emotions were coming out in stages. First sadness, now anger, then….who the hell knows.
"It's not okay Dally! I'm not fucking okay! Look at me! I can't even eat without fucking throwing it up! I'm skinnier then this fence. I look like shit, feel like shit. And I just want to fucking die." I kicked one of the posts holding up the fence.
"Sure I want to go home, but look at me! I can't go home like this! Besides they will take me away, I can't be taken anywhere like that. I don't know why I'm overreacting to all of this but I am. I don't know what's wrong with me Dally! What's wrong with me!?" I was yelling very loudly, my face was hot and I felt angry tears falling from my eyes.
"Dal I'm CRAZY! They are right! I'm Loony Lou Curtis! I…I…." I was repeating myself and shaking furiously. My fist pounded into my head trying to make sense of this. Both my legs carried me back and forth in a steady pacing motion. "I want my Mom!" I whined to the sky.
"Dad too! And to feel safe. I can't stand the way I feel anymore Dal! Why can't I just die or something! I….Jesus!" I screamed falling to the ground. When Dal tried to come near me I screamed like a mad child. At the top of my lungs and in a frightened way. He winced back, sitting down a few feet from me.
"Luc, what am I gonna do? You're breaking down, and I can't do anything about that. It's starting to scare me."
"Scare you!? I'm shitting myself over here!" I screamed hitting my knees with my fists.
"What should I do!?" he yelled back this time becoming frustrated. "I don't know what you want me to say or do Lucy!"
"Neither do I. I feel so weird!" I let my body collapse all the way to the ground. My head was laying in the dirt but I didn't care. Dal was slowly coming towards me again, I didn't scream this time when he leaned down laying next to me. Dally cupped his hand in mine.
"Dal…I'm broken." we looked at each other, tears escaping my eyes.
"I know." he whispered looking away. My tantrum lasted about ten minutes, and I was back to being numb. All I wanted to do was talk to one of my brothers now. Dal is my best friend and the guy I like, but he isn't my brothers. I need them right now, so badly. I need them like I need my parents. Dally squeezed my hand and kissed my forehead. My body turned next to him, my other hand cupping the two of ours. His eyes looked at me with concern. Closing my eyes I leaned my head into his chin, kissing it lightly. I felt him smile against my nose as I kissed his chin again.
"You're teasing me, you know that right?" he said. "And do you really think this is the time to be kissing, you just blew up in my face."
"Yes I do and I know I did. Sorry."
"It's fine. Sometimes you have to scream a little. And if that makes you feel better, do it." he told me. I wonder what is going on in his mind.
"What are you thinking?"
"About you. How much I missed you and how scared I am."
"Dallas Winston? Afraid?" I said in a mock shock under my breath, taking very quietly.
"I'm afraid about what happened to you. What's happening to you. What will happen when we get home and what we're going to do." he said in a miserable voice.
"Dally, I'm sorry."
"Stop saying tha…"
"No, I have no excuses for having a good freak out. I have no excuses for running away. Or harming myself. Or getting three different tattoo's when I was drunk. Or getting myself into shitty situations. Or doing drugs. Or drinking all day long. Becoming this skinny little weakling that I promised myself I would never become. No excuses for anything. And right now, I just want to get the hell out of the dirt." Dally didn't argue with me, even though I knew he wanted to. Soon enough we got back in the car, he didn't make me eat again.
Not until we got the motel. He were going to share a queen bed at a Motel 8. After he made me shower, he made me eat. I had five Cracker Jacks and two sips of water. Thank the heavens I didn't get sick! Most of the time it was quiet, only little noises the two of us made. Ever now and then Dal would come over to give me a kiss. It was a nice sweet kiss that told me to get better. I was laying on the bed most of the time, staring off into space. He was rushing around the room doing all sorts of things. Talking on the phone, eating something, going out into the hallway, showering, fussing over me, ect.
Soon I passed out again, only to wake up once. When I did I was in a deep sweat, with Dally's arm around my stomach. He was cuddled up against me, not even noticing me when I left the bed. I went to the bathroom. Washed my hands. Put water on my hot face. Felt like stabbing my leg again. Cried. Fell asleep on the floor in the bathroom. Woke up fifteen minutes later. Went back to join Dally in the bed. Fell asleep. Woke up in the car the next day.
