Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Outsiders.
(Language, for warning)
Keep Moving
Healing
(March 9th)
Eleven days since I've arrived in the state. Six full, agonizing days in Tulsa Community hospital. Five days of being home with my brothers. For those five days, the front door has been locked for the first time in a while. Darry told me he didn't want the gang or anyone over while I was resting. Soda groaned because he had to still keep me a secret even though I was home. Things are changing again, like myself. Even though it's only been a few days, I've noticed a great improvement in my strength. Not much compared to what I used to be, but it's a start.
The doctors all told me to take it easy and hang out in bed for about a week, two if I need it. I'm not completely eating normally now, but I have improved. Darry was directed to give me small portions and not to push me if I couldn't finish a meal. Doc Sanders was right, I would stop vomiting. Also my kidneys are functioning normally, no long in danger of failure. So I'm pretty much in recovery mode now, physically. But it's hard to keep my head from wandering into dangerous territory, very hard. Especially when I'm alone all day until Pony comes home.
As soon as he get home, he joins me in my room. We laugh, cry, sing, scream and cry some more. I never really talked, just made comments and listened. He's told me about everything since I've been gone. In very graphic details, that make me cringe at the thought. Most of which was about Darry and his temper. I told Pony not to worry because I would straighten him up. Also I told him the same thing I told Darry, about them both being so different. Hopefully I will open their eyes.
Miss. Ruth came by the hospital every day to talk to me. She tried to get me to talk about my time on the road, but I refused. I told her it would be something I would talk about after I felt my confidence back. That stride I had before I left, I had to get it back. I was determined to get it back. But still she asks me, 'What happened to make you so…' As always I would continue for those who asked me that. 'Broken.'
They wont know until I want to look back on it. For the time being, I just want to forget about it. Move on with my life and change for the better this time. One thing that has been bugging me since I've been back is that I haven't visited Mom and Dad yet. I asked Darry to take me but he told me I wasn't going outside the house unless it was for a doctors appointment or if the law demanded it. In fact, I have barely left my room since I've been here. I don't mind because I missed my room, bit it does get annoying sometimes.
Like when we eat, we don't eat at the table. My brother's insisted at we all eat in my room. It's crazy, all four of us crowded around my bed eating Soda's deformed food. They asked me about my trip, but I ignored them with a frown. Soda, feeling my discomfort, always changes the subject. Thank God for him, I would be stuck in that conversation for the rest of my life. My situation now, will most likely lead to some of those unwanted questions. Right now, I'm being yelled at for the first time since I've returned. When Darry walked through the door, I was sitting on the couch with Pony watching TV. I had no idea what we were watching, but it held our attention. Until Darry's loud scream broke my concentration. He large paw of a hand pointing at my foot.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" he screeched above me, not even waiting to set his tool belt down. Shaking my head I looked up at him.
"Wha?" I asked tiredly.
"THAT?!" he screamed again. I looked at Pony, who looked sympathetic almost. Then my gaze moved to my foot, coming into realization. Smacking my forehead as Soda come in the room from the kitchen. Breathing out nervously I answered.
"Umm…tattoo."
"I know what it is, but why is it on your skin!?" standing up, Darry towered over me. Shaking my head at myself, I answered.
"Because I put it there." he huffed at my almost smart ass answer.
"Do you have anymore?" Darry asked through his clenched teeth. I stuck my thumb at him. Taking my hand in his two big ones, he examined the football in the side of my thumb.
"Football?" his voice was calming down but still held it's fatherly irritation.
"And this." I said lifting my shorts to show the lettering on my leg. It was the first time that Brother had seen my scars, or cuts. My tattoo may have been covering one that had significant but the others were there to be seen. Soda moved closer to Darry, turning on the light as he entered the room further. Pony stood up and slid next to me, looking at my raised leg. My face was hot, but I wasn't going to lie about it anymore. I'll just have to go through the nerves on my own.
"Damn Luc." Soda muttered to himself. Darry began to pace as I lowered my leg. I was shaking with embarrassment and fear. The all looked at me with eyes of concern, eyes I haven't seen for a while. Since I've gotten better, they haven't showed me those horrid eyes. I wanted to scream at them to change their expression.
"Sorry." I muttered pushing past Pony, walking to my room. I shut the door laying down. If I'm disappointed in myself about the things I've done, how are they to feel about it. What kind of excuse is 'I was drunk.' or 'Sorry, I was too busy to notice because I was getting high.'?
"You can tell me." Soda said coming into the room. I jumped a little at him as he entered.
"Soda, I can't talk about New York. Or New Mexico. Or Texas. Or wherever else I ended up! I can't do it until I feel more….normal."
"Will you at least tell me why you got them?"
"Long story short. I was drunk. Missed you guys. And got them. Happy?"
"No." he came over and gave me a hug. "But I'll get over it."
After that we all had dinner, which only consisted of Pony, Soda and I. I know I disappointed Darry, but he didn't have to shun me! It mad me feel really sick! So sick that I wanted to throw up my pasta Soda made. Soda wasn't very satisfied with my one bite meal, but I was too upset to eat. Darry hates me now I bet. Just because of a little ink work. It makes me frown at the thought. I haven't stopped frowning since everyone went to bed. Finally after another hour of being awake, I fell into a deep sleep.
(March 23nd)
"Lucy!" I was brought out of my book by a yell and a scream of agony.
"Lucy! IT'S STEVE!" Soda yelled for me again.
Steve was muttering things like. 'Lucy?' or 'She's here?'. My brother have managed to keep the gang out of the house when I was home. They also kept the secret for a twenty five days, a new record for Sodapop. Things might not go well, they will be mad for them keep me a secret. Also Darry will be mad that Soda let the Lucy out of the bag.
In a quick motion, I tossed my book down and throw myself out of my bed. My feet pitter pattered in a fast motion, jogging out of the room. Entering the living room, I saw a banged up Steve sitting on the floor. He was wincing as I pushed Soda out of the way. I grabbed his head and put it in the light, he had a knife wound from his eyebrow to his ear. Deep enough for stitches. Steve also cradled his left arm in a funny position. Looking at his face, he looked pained but shocked.
"Luc, what the fuu." I put my finger to his lips.
"Shut up." I told him firmly. "Let me see your arm."
He handed me his loose arm, it was popped out of place. It shouldn't be hard to pop back in, but it will be hell. Looking up at the ceiling, I thanked Mom and Gram for teaching me the ways of medicine. I'm not a pro, but I certainly can fix a greaser up. Then my eyes looked to Soda. "Needle, ice, wet cloth, thread, and a beer."
Soda quickly left the room. Steve began to talk again. "Luc, how the hell…"
"I told you to shut up Randle." instantly he smirked but it faded at the sting of his busted lip. Soda came back with the things I wanted, I looked back to him.
"Thanks, I need a lighter as well." Steve handed me one from his right pocket. I told him to put it next to the things on the ground.
"Take a drink." I told him, so he did. A nice big, long swig of beer. "I'm going to pop your shoulder back into place. It's going to hurt!" he nodded like a tough greaser.
His arm was shaking despite the way it hung from his shoulder. Getting closer to him, I shifted myself and his arm. I counted down from five, surprising him to pop it in at three instead of one. He chocked out putting his right hand on my left shoulder. Steve clenched tightly to my shirt, I don't blame him. I didn't care either, I would of done the same thing. I've only had my arm pop out of place once, couch popped it back in a minute later. Damn, did it hurt. The next day I had to sit out of competition because Mom wouldn't let me compete. It was my excuse, but I'm glad I didn't have to perform.
After a moment he let go and I back off. Looking up at Soda, I smiled with pride. I think I did a good job, it was the second time I had done that. The first was when Darry came home with it popped out after practice. He told us it hurt, but he didn't sit out of practice. Leave it to Darry to over do everything. Mom wasn't home yet, so Dad had me pop it back in for Darry. Otherwise he was going to the hospital. I was afraid to do it, but Darry kept begging me to do it to avoid going to the hospital. Mom told me when she got home that I did an amazing job for someone who had never done it before.
Speaking of Darry, he's forgiven me about the tattoos. It took him a few days to come around, but he finally gave up. He still doesn't like them but he'll have to live because they aren't reversible.
I looked in Steve's eyes, painful tears were trying to spill from his eyes. He wasn't crying, Steven Randle doesn't cry. But it was like one of those things where it makes your eyes water, like cutting up an onion. Patting him on the good shoulder, I told him to take another drink. He did and closed his eyes at the taste. When I went to stand up, I swayed into Soda. Balancing myself, I grabbed a pillow off the couch. Crouching down again, I made Steve lay his head down on it. I took the beer and took a good sized swig myself. Telling him to close his eyes, I began my work on his face.
After cleaning off the dried and seeping blood, I stitched the wound. The needle was freshly cleaned from the flame of the lighter as I stuck it in his skin. He winced as I stitched it all up. The worse and most tender part was his temple, a good bruise under the cut. To calm him, I hummed, which he seemed to enjoy despite the pain. Once I was done, I put my fingers threw his hair. Pulling his hairs back from his forehead, as I examined my stitches. Smiling to myself this time, I was proud of what a clean job I did. Taking another swig of beer, I kissed his forehead. Then I got up and looked at Soda for a second.
He was smiling at me, proud as well. I smiled back and silently told him I was going back to bed. Twiny nodded as I passed him. "Clean that up, will ya?" he nodded again.
"Thanks Lucy, sorry about…" I patted him on the shoulder and kissed his cheek. Going into the kitchen, I snuck myself a beer. I was celebrating to myself that I still had the skills to fix my boys. Back in my room, I shut the door with a click. Happily, I threw myself on the bed. Opening the beverage, I sighed to myself. At the moment, I was waiting to hear Steve scream 'What the fuck?' or the door slamming shut. But it remained quiet, which almost made me nervous. Than it occurred to me, I had no idea what happened to him. I didn't even ask, shit. Taking a sip of beer, I got over it and came to the conclusion that I would hear about it later.
There was a knock on my door, Pony stuck his head in. I waved him in as he shut the door behind him. Pulling up one of the chairs he left in there the previous night, he smiled. "You did good work sis."
"Thanks." taking a swig of beer I said. Pony frowned slightly, eyeing my beer. I looked down at it, then took another drink.
"Why are you drinking?"
"Celebrating quietly to myself. Quietly meaning: don't mention it to Darry." he nodded suspiciously.
"Did you drink in New York?" I stiffened at the question. Should I lie?
"Truth?" he nodded. I leaned forward on my bed, crossing my legs. I looked at Pony and thought for a moment.
"What you have to understand first is that…I was messed up. A lot more than I am now. Even more than when you first saw me when I came back." he nodded again.
"It's all I engulfed." Pony looked at me.
"I'm sorry you had to go through that." I shrugged that shit off.
"No big deal now. So, do you know what happened to that knuckle head?"
"Him and Curley had a fight after school today. Something about Steve giving him a dirty look, it's dumb. You would understand our manly man fights."
"I don't, if it was a Soc it would sound better and less pathetic."
Pony chuckled, "Steve won, even if Curley tried to cheat by pulling out a blade. Tim should really teach him about fair play."
"Yeah." I said agreeing and taking a sip of my beer.
"I don't think Darry will be too happy that Soda brought Steve here, AND gave you away." I chuckled.
"I don't see the big deal, Dar needs to get over himself." Pony joined my chuckle.
"I think I'll make dinner." I said after a while."I don't think Darry would be happy about that either." Pony started to laugh again.
"Gosh, I'm tired of being in this room. I'm healing aren't I? It's time for me to cook something eatable and for us to eat as a family at the table. I'm not staying in this room forever. Besides, tomorrow is Saturday. Two hundred and twenty days since they've passed, and I want to see them!"
"Well, I don't know Lu.."
"Ponyboy, I'm fine. I've gained some weight. I'm eating normally. Sleeping for the most part. I'm ready to get out and tell the world I'm here!"
"Yeah, I've wanted to tell Johnny about you so bad." Pony whined finally agreeing with me.
"Well, then…" I gulped down the rest of the beer. "Let's go tell him." Pony shrunk back down again.
"I don't think we…"
"Go get him, I'll start dinner." I said walking out of the room Steve and Soda were at the table talking. Both having serious faces, until I entered. Pony came up behind me.
"Lucy, just so you know…I'm not getting him.' shrugging I told him to go do his homework then. Looking at me annoyed, he left the room still debating with himself whether he should of gone or not. Shaking my head at my disappearing brother, I looked at the table again. Steve was smiling at me, with his gap hanging out of his mouth.
"Lu!" he hollered jumping up from the table. He crashed into me, holding me up so I would die hitting my head on the wall. I hugged back, rubbing my face into his chest. It felt good to get a hug from one of my boys.
"I love your hugs." I told him pulling apart. Soda was look at me with probing eyes as he pulled the two of us away from each other.
"Soda told me you were in hiding." he laughed.
"You can thank Superman for that." I told them.
We just smiled at each other, until I spoke up again. "So, you gave Curley a dirty look or some shit so he attacked you?"
"Something like that, only I wasn't giving him a dirty look. The fucking sun was in my eyes." I laughed at him.
"Boys." I said throwing my arms in the air.
"But you love us." Soda said with puppy dog eyes.
"You know I do." I looked serious at Steve now. "Speaking of, you should be icing that shoulder on the couch."
Shoving him to the couch, I shooed him. "Go on!"
"Ah…I feel the love." Steve said with a chuckle.
"Sooo…." Sodapop said with a grin.
"I'm making dinner. Since Steve already knows, go round up the rest of the gang. Tell them I'm making…." I walked into the kitchen. Examining the fridge and cabinets, I found that we had little to work with. Milk, eggs, chocolate milk and some other stuff, but not much.
"Tell them I'm ordering pizza." I laughed. "But I'll make cake."
"Darry wont like this." Sodapop chuckled.
"That's what makes it fun." I said tossing my empty beer can in the trash. "This should be a lot of fun" I grind at my twin, who mirror my happiness.
