Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Outsiders.

(Language, for warning)


Keep Moving

Things Are Definitely Changing

I had another beer, no one seemed to notice as I stirred the cake batter. Soda had left fifteen minutes ago to head out to gather the gang, along with Ponyboy. Steve was sitting on the counter next to me, icing his shoulder. My half drunken self was happily dancing around the kitchen, listening to the radio very loudly. Steve watched me with a huge grin on his face. With a sip of beer, I shot my arms in the air. Shaking my hips and singing loudly to Bill Haley, "Rock around the clock".

"One, Two, Three O'clock, Four O'clock rock. Five, Six, Seven O'clock, Eight O'clock rock. Nine, Ten, Eleven O'clock, Twelve O'clock rock, We're gonna rock around the clock tonight." Steve jumped off the counter and joined me in the middle of the kitchen.

Hand in hand we were swing dancing. Not hardcore swing dancing like we normally would have but it was still swingin'. He joined me in singing as we kicked our legs, shook our hands and bobbed our heads.

"Put your glad rags on and join me hon', We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one. We're gonna rock around the clock tonight, We're gonna rock, rock, rock, 'till broad daylight, We're gonna rock around the clock tonight. When the clock strikes two, three and four, If the band slows down we'll yell for more."

It was a really good time. One of the best times I had had in so long. It made a nonstop smile appear on my face. Although there was a dizziness flouting around in my head, I didn't stop. Dancing with one of my boys was too much fun. Why would I want to stop something like that? I didn't, but I should have. The song ended and Buddy Holly jumped on the station. My body flopped over to the side, onto Steve's good shoulder. He chuckled slightly and pulled me up so he could look at me.

"Ya okay there Lu? Maybe I should of joined in, I tired ya out huh?"

"No Steve, I'm fine. Just…" I pulled away from him and leaned on the counter, too embarrassed to look at him. Sure, he was my friend. Sure, I've known him most of my life. Sure, Soda's told him all about my weaknesses or whatever. But still, I'm ashamed.

"Yeah." he understood without another word. He jumped onto the counter again, stealing a sip of my beer. Steve knew I've had a few beers here and there, but he didn't really know.

"When did you start this?" he asked holding the beer up. I snatched it from him and took a nice sized chug.

"A while back." I said stirring the chocolate cake batter. Setting the beer down, I moved across the kitchen to grab a cake pan. After buttering it slightly from the fridge, I moved back over near Steve and the batter.

"So…" he said looking down to my socked feet. "Tattoos."

"Soda told you, bitchin'." I said sarcastically.

"I got one while you were gone too." he showed me his right arm. What looked like an eagle or hawk was stamped onto his arm. I shoved my sock off to show him the Pepsi-Cola bottle on my foot, he grinned his gape at me. My right thumb was stuck in the air. He took it in his rough hands with a nod. Going back to filling the cake pan, I half considered showing my other one. But I'm pretty sure he didn't know about my cutting, so why inform him now.

"Luc, you sure have changed." he looked off into the distance. "But you're the same."

"Ponyboy told me that the other day." what was I gonna say to that? After popping the cake in the oven, Georgia popped into my mind. I wonder whatever happened to my sweet little girl.

"What happened to Georgia?" Steve should know I guess.

"She was taken away from her mom and was adopted in some soc home." he said smugly.

"No shit, what happened?"

"Her mom lost the house." I frowned, I wonder if there would be anything I could of done if I was there at the time. Taking another sip of beer, it was gone. Throwing it away, I turned the radio off. For a moment, I left the room to change into some real clothes. Inside my room I tossed on some jeans and one of Darry's football jerseys. It was one that he had in the eighth grade. The shirt is still huge on me, but I was hoping for that. Maybe I can hide some of my nonexistent body. Soon I moved to the bathroom, where Steve had propped himself against the door frame.

He watched as I brushed my teeth. After rinsing my mouth, I took my hair out of the messy bun it was in. My long silver brown locks fell down to my butt, receiving a gasp from Steve. Side glancing at him, my hair fell over my small body. It fell into my face and got in the way with it's messiness.

"Glory Lucy, when was the last time you cut your hair girl?"

"When Mom cut it." I said in a low tone, while brushing out my hair. It was tangled and made my head throb. After getting some of it to calm down, I left for my room again. Steve followed with a grin.

"Haven't been in this room for a while." he said with his silly grin. I smiled back, not sure what to do with myself. As I was about to say 'I've been stuck in this room for three weeks.', the front door crashed open.

"Where's the surprise you damn Curtis brothers?" Two-bit yelled out. Johnny's quiet voice filled the house as well.

"Yeah, what is it?" Steve grin went wider and left my room. He spoke loudly.

"Hi-ya boys."

"Steve, that's a nice shiner you got right there." Two-bit laughed.

I heard footsteps coming towards my room. Dally appeared in the doorway, he couldn't contain his tough, hooded smile. He continued into my room, as I stood up on the bed. My legs wrapped around his torso and his arms held me up by the butt. Immediately my lips went in for a kiss.

"How you feeling?" he whispered. I nodded into his forehead with a smile.

"Do they know it's me?"

"They have no idea kid." he smirked letting me onto the floor. Dallas's hand gripped my shoulders, moving me to living room. Two-bit was having a punching contest with Sodapop, trying to get him to tell him what the surprise was.

"What is it man?" he laughed.

"Two-y." I said as Dally let go of my shoulders. Two-bit was faced the other way, not able to see me. He stopped in mid-punch. Slowly, his arm went to his side.

"Now, there's only one person that I know that calls me that." he turned with his one eye browed grin. Suddenly, he jumped into the air while rushing towards me. I'm not so sure this is a good thing, but I smiled despite myself.

"Louie!" he screamed. As he crashed into my, he knocked the wind out of me. Hugging me furiously, I chocked out for air. Pulling apart he looked me over with a grin. The first time someone had looked at me and smiled, even if I was coughing.

"Nice to see you too." I said threw small gasps of air. Soda walked over and hit Two-bit on the top of the head with a smack. We both looked at him, his eyes were angry. It takes a lot to make Soda angry, but I was curious to hear what he was going to say.

"What the fuck was that for Soda?" Two-bit complained.

"Look what you did to her, she can't be man handled like that anymore Two. She's to fragile." now my eyes were angry, but I ignored the two now as I walked over to Johnny. He was sheepishly grinning at me. I took him in a big Johnny hug.

"Johnny boy." I said kissing his cheek as I pulled away. Before Johnny could say anything, Soda came over to me while grabbing my forearm.

"Are you okay?" my anger was rising. It's okay for him to be concerned but…CRIST! It is the first time the boys have seen me in six months, they wont know how to act. Besides, I'm fine and don't need to be hovered around.

"Soda, you need to chill out." I told him moving into the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, everyone was in there with me. When I turned around from grabbing the cake from the oven, they were looking me over.

"So Lucy…" Two-bit was interrupted by a loud voice.

"I heard a rumor that a Louie Bird has flown back into town!" Tim screamed coming in the door. Smiling I placed the cake on the stove to cool off. As I threw the oven mitts at Sodapop, I walked over to see Tim.

"Sounds like the first rumor about me that has been proven to be true." hugging him, he smirked.

"Well if it isn't the Bird herself." he pulled apart as everyone came into the living room again. Tim whistled looking at me. "Damn girl, that hair is insane." what he really meant was, 'Damn girl, that weight is insane.'.

"Yeah, it takes time to get used to." Ponyboy came up and slung his arm around my shoulder. Showing me off to the world, that I was his sister and I was back in action.

"Heard ya spent some time in New York, you don't seem to different beside your appearance." Tim commented. I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"Dally, can you keep your mouth shut for any amount of time." he chuckled at me taking a seat in the arm chair.

"Soda, you didn't tell me that." Steve said with a strange expression.

"New York, shoo girl I'm surprised you ain't the leader of a gang by now. Shoot anybody?" Two-bit said slapping his knee, I rolled my eyes again but without the smile.

"Cold blooded killer." Steve chimed in, cackling with Two-y. Everyone began to sit down, I chose Dally's lap. My small body fit nicely onto his as we sat, he lit a cigarette.

"So what was it like Luc?" Johnny asked just as eager as the rest of them are. The person that knows the most about the time I was gone, is me. The second, I probably Dally. Other than that, they know nothing.

"Good luck getting her to talk, the only thing we know is that she has tattoos." Pony said, eyeing Dallas and I.

"Shut up." I commanded, almost harshly.

"Sorry Luc, we're just curious about what ya did on the road. Who ya met. Where ya been. What kind of stuff happened, you know….details." Pony said not sounding really sorry.

"I thought we were going to have fun, not talk about me." I said looking at Dallas.

"Well that is fun." Two-bit laughed along with a few snickers.

"That's not what I meant." my lips tightened, maybe Darry was right.

Just as they were going to go on, Darry stepped through the door. His head was beat red with a small cut on his neck. I jumped off of Dallas, with his help, and went over to him. Dar looked around the room with a nod, but came to realization.

"What the hell are they doing here?" Darry hissed as I took his tool belt off his shoulder.

"Steve was hurt, so I had to help him. After he found out I was here, I thought it would be pointless to keep it a secret. What happened to your neck?" he ignored my question and started to yell.

"You disobeyed me Lucy, I didn't want them to know about you being here! You're not ready!" I shrunk away, Pony stepping in.

"Don't you yell at her, you can't keep her from the world Darry!"

"Pony, look at her." Ponyboy glanced at me. "The world will eat her up and spit her out just like it did in New York. Fucking look at her!"

My anger was rising in my throat, but I didn't let it burst. Soda spoke up. "I think you guys should leave." the gang agreed, quickly as possible. Dally was the last to stand up, slowly making his way over to me. He kissed my forehead looking at Darry. Speaking to me as he slowly walked away with his swagger.

"See ya babe." once he was gone, Darry lashed out again.

"Lucy! When I say something, it goes!"

"Calm down Darr.." Soda tried.

"Shut up Soda, you let this happen." Darry said angrily.

"Darry, let me take a look at that cut." I said something completely off topic, but it was something to break the tension.

"Lucy, go to your room." my mouth gapped open. Did he just say that? Out of disbelief I shook my head.

"Go to your room right now!" he did just say that. Before turning with my gritted teeth and clenched fists, I spoke.

"Dar, you really need to chill out." before heading to my room I grabbed yet another beer, my fourth one of the night I do believe. I'm surprised he didn't noticed the smell of it on my breath when I went up to him. Anyway, I drank it in my room with the door locked. Soda came once our twice to see if I would let him in, but I denied him each times. Darry might have been right, but that didn't give him a reason to scream at us. It wasn't long until it was dark out, Darry came to my door when it did. He told me I needed to eat something, but I stayed quiet.

If he was going to yell at me for something so small, I was going to be a child about it. That's what I do sometimes, what can I say I'm a teenage girl. We all are childish at some point of the day. After a while my stomach actually growled with hunger. Something that hasn't happened in a long while, it made me smile. It was yet another sign that my body was recuperating and ready for anything. Ready to move on with my life. Ready for things to be different.

It was late into the night, everyone was asleep so I decided to get myself something to eat. When I arrived in the kitchen, the cake was fully iced inside the fridge. Cutting myself a piece, I knew Soda had iced the cake. It was really sweet, sweeter than anyone else makes. Then I poured myself a glass of milk and sat at the table. I ate my cake with pleasure. As I examined the piece, I noticed it was a pretty good sized snack. The cake was huge compared to the portions I've been eating for my meals. Just another thing that is a sign that I'm improving.

Maybe, once I get all my strength back I can start working out again. And get a job. To wrestle with the guys. Maybe play football with them. Be able to stand up for myself again. To put Darry in his place and stand up for what I believe in. Have people look at me with pride, not concern. That will be the day, my day. I'm going to make a goal now, a pact with myself. To gain most of my weight back by the end of April. Be a healthier better me, and finally start pulling my weight around here. This is the most positive thinking I've had in a really long time, I like it. But there is a few things that might hold me back during my aspirations, everyone else.

They wont understand the way I am. I'm messed up, all over. If I don't push myself above the limit, than I'm nothing. If I can't provide for my small family, then I'm nothing. If I'm not trying my hardest plus more, than I'm nothing. If everyone isn't safe and happy around me, than I'm nothing. I'm nothing without them, so I have to be better for them. Despite their objections of overexerting myself, I have to ignore that. I have to ignore all of their judging eyes and move on. Also, I want to try and make it a point that I tell Ruth what happened to me. It might help, and she would understand it better than my brothers or the gang. Tomorrow I'm going to call and tell her what I've been thinking for the last hour in this dining room.

For the last hour I've been done with my cake, but I've been thinking about a lot of things. Things that will help me for the future but before I look to far ahead, I need to see my parents. I want to go by myself, but no one would allow that. Maybe I'll introduce Ruth to my parents, yeah I'll do that. Looking at the clock, I smiled. Only eleven, Ruth should still be up. I'll arrange everything now. In a quick motion, I picked up the phone that was sitting on by the phone.

Out of memory, I dialed her number. It rang twice before she answered, sounding in a rush. "Hello?"

"Ruth, it's Lucy."

"Lucy? Is everything okay? It's pretty late shouldn't you…"

"Ruth, can you do me a favor?" I smiled slightly, in a whole new mind set.

"Sure sweetie, what do you need?"

"Tomorrow will you pick me up around nine, I'd like you to meet someone."


(March 24th)

As soon as I woke up, I jumped in the shower. Latterly, I jumped. Today, I was to see my parents. Of course it's also a sad thing, but it's my parents! The entire shower I clenched my mother's necklace in my small fingers. Once done in the shower, I brushed everything that needed to be brushed. I dressed in jeans, a white tank top and my converse. After throwing my dirty clothes into basket in my room, I trotted out to the kitchen. It was eight o'clock when I looked at the clock with a smile. Immediately I found oatmeal and made a huge pot of it.

Brown sugar and cinnamon as my main ingredients. But of course, I managed to cut up a few apples to add in. Four good size bowls of it were poured out and set at the table. As I went into Soda and Pony's room, I shook them awake. They joined me in the dining room. Soda went to wake Darry, because he knew I wouldn't. Even though I'm still upset with Darry freaking out last night, I still made him coffee. They all joined me at the table, watching me curiously as I ate. Big full bites of oatmeal entered my mouth, only a dull sick feeling entered my stomach. I ignored it and kept on eating. When I looked up at them and said 'Can I help you?', they went on eating.

"Luc, this is the best oatmeal you've ever made." Pony complemented, I smiled at him in thanks. Everything went silent while we enjoyed our oatmeal. It was heading close to eight forty so I ate a little quicker. After I was done, I sipped my OJ in peace.

"Listen baby girl, about last night…" I gulped the rest of the OJ as I heard Ruth's honk from outside. I jumped up and cleaned most of the oatmeal of my dish but left the rest for them. In a swift motion; I jogged to my room, put one of Dad's long sleeve red shirts on, and headed out towards the door. Darry stood up as I did, grabbing my arm. I pulled out of his grasp with great force, looking at him like he had set my arm on fire.

"Don't touch me." I said walking out. He had barely touched me, but I didn't want to be touched.

"Where are you going?"

"With Ruth." I answered going out of the house, Darry in toe. She waved to me as I hopped into her small nineteen-fifty-five silver VW Bug. We was listening to Frank Sinatra, one of my Dad's favorites too.

We started to drive down the street, bobbing our heads. The two of us sang his sweet soulful blues. "Come fly with me let's fly let's fly away. If you can use some exotic booze. There's a bar in far Bombay. Come on and fly with me let's fly let's fly away."

She sang beautifully, and it felt good to duet with her. It was like my mother and me singing together. The thought made me sad, but singing with her was a treat. It was something that lifted my spirits even more. I was flying high, and she was flying with me. Just as the song told us we were. The lovely experience didn't end there because she had a Frank Sinatra tape running in her stereo.

"All or nothing at all. Half of love, never appealed to me. If your heart, never could yield to me. Then I'd rather, rather have nothing at all." I closed my eyes and held Mom's necklace in my hand. Singing sweetly with Ruth, my only girl friend. Mom was right, I'm sorry Mom. Finally we made it to my parents resting place, Ruth stopped at the side of the pathway.

Opening my eyes as she turned the car of, she smiled. "Can I go first for a second?" she nodded as I got out of the car. I walked through the grass to my parent's graves, careful not to step on anyone's grave. When I got there I smiled down at them.

"Hi, sorry I've been gone for sometime now. I've…uh missed you guys a lot. I really wish you were here, I need ya." it was silent. I looked around there graves, it was filthy.

"When was the last time anyone came to see you." I whined going down to my knees, picking weeds that scattered around the graves. My hands brushed leaves and dirt off of their tombstones. When I came back up, I waved Ruth over with my hand that was holding the weeds. As she exited the car, I spoke to my parents.

"I want you to meet someone." she came up beside me. "Mom…Dad, this is my friend Ruth. Ruth these are my parents."

"Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, you've got a special set of children missing you here." Ruth said with a smile.

"Well, I just wanted to pay you a visit since I haven't for so long. Love you guys, see you soon." it was a quick visit, but it's all I needed. Ruth waved goodbye as I felt happy and sad tears fall from my eyes."How are you doing?" Ruth asked me as we walked to the buggy.

"Not sure."

"Well, what are you feeling?" yep, shrinks really do ask that.

"Sad because I'm a freak who talks to stones." she laughed at my small pathetic joke."Now I know that's not the truth."

"Okay, I'm sad because I miss them. Happy because I'm getting better. Angry because of what I am. Confused about everything. Tired of being emotional and weak. Ready to be done with that shit." I said as we drove off.

"Time will heal your body, just let it. As for being emotional, that comes with being strong willed. You are strong willed, but you forgot how to use your will in everyday life. Today, I see great improvement. The most improvement I've seen for a while, I'm proud of you." I smiled at her.

"I'm ready to let it be."

"I'm glad." she smiled as she stopped at a red light, looking over at me.

"So tell me about you and Darry, what's up with that?"

"I didn't want to hear about yesterday this morning, so ignored him. Probably not the best thing to do, but he wont understand. He wouldn't of let me go if I didn't go without asking."

"Next time I want you to ask him a day before and discuss it with him. Try to reason with him more Lucy, he is stressed out. Since your feeling better, offer to do work around the house."

"I'm already planning on doing things like that. Things are definitely going to change around here, I can feel it." I smiled at her. She patted me on the head with a grin. This are definitely going to change….and I can't wait.