CHAPTER 5: BUT… FERRIS BUHLER GOT A DAY OFF!

A/N:

Hey yall!

First of all I would like to apologize for making everyone wait for this chapter. I had SO much trouble with it. So, I know it's a bit of a filler chapter and there isn't much that happens that furthers the plot…and you may be right. However, Jessica has been having a rough couple days and she needs some filler! Won't you let her have just a little bit of filler?!

I want to send out a huge thanks to imperial violets! I quite literally could not have finished this chapter without you. If you haven't read any of iv's stuff you absolutely must! The next chapter of Tomorrow Never Knows is coming out soon and I'm telling you IT'S GRIPPING!

& BIG thanks to everyone who has reviewed and supported my writing. I know I'm cruel and make you all wait between chapters. Thank you for your loyalty. :)

Also, I will be following in iv's example and sending out teasers for chapter 6 to everyone who reviews this one. So… WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Read and review!

What?... Oh, right… You're waiting for me to finish…Sorry about that… I'll wrap it up.

THANK YOU & REVIEW

-Constantia

Rosalie POV

I sat at the head of the dining room table opposite of Carlisle with the rest of our family seated between us. He had called a family meeting after the incident at the hospital but so far he had only sat and stared in a failed attempt to intimidate me. The whole ordeal seemed rather pointless.

Finally Carlisle broke the silence and said, "I understand your motivation. However, it was juvenile and cruel. I expect better behavior from you in the future."He moved as though to get up from his seat but paused briefly, remembering something he had meant to add. With a hint of a smile on his lips, he spoke. "Edward, must I remind you to be cautious in your love life. A human girl would not be the wisest choice; too curious… and edible."

Everything was back to normal.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jessica POV

I could hear my mom thump thump thumping her way up the stairs toward my room. My alarm had gone off twenty minutes ago and she had called my name from the kitchen five times in the last three minutes. I quickly licked my palms like I'd seen in Ferris Buhler's Day Off and tested different facial expressions in an attempt to find the one that read: I am the living dead! Let me have a sick day! I cannot show my face at school ever again! Please, oh merciful lord and creator!

My door swung open and my mother stood in its frame with a fierce look in her eyes. I quickly tried to adjust my face to the 'Sleeping Beauty got swine flu' look I'd come up with earlier.

"Jessica Stanley! What the hell are you doing still in bed! You need to go to school to get an education to move out of my house before you're thirty!"

"Oh, I don't know if I can… Mom, I think I may… Oh… It hurts… Promise me… Promise me if anything happens… Oh, oh…"

With a huff and a puff she grabbed the bottom of my comforter and whisked it off of me and across the room. She looked down at me with big eyes and eyebrows closer together.

"Get up."

She grabbed my hand to pull me out of bed but immediately tossed it back at me. She wiped her palm on her jeans.

"Ew, Jessica. I can't believe you did that. It's disgusting and it doesn't work." Note to self: next time use less saliva. "Now, up. You're going to school and that's final."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hey Jess!" Mike called after me as I sped down the hall toward my locker.

"Hey."

"Slow down. You'll get a speeding ticket."

So far I had been able to avoid running into any of the Cullens and I wasn't going to stick around long enough to risk any of them seeing me. The fake hemorrhoids was even more embarrassing than the incident in the cafeteria and I was sure Rosalie had gone home and told all her brothers and sisters about it… including Edward. There was no way I could face any of them today.

Mike caught up with me, "So, I heard about yesterday." I felt all of my internal organs suddenly drop to my feet. That soulless bitch! Not only did she tell her family, she let everyone know that I had fake hemorrhoids last night. I was so humiliated.

"Yeah," Mike said, "Angela told me you got a concussion." Oh. Okay, I take back the soulless part but she's still a bitch. "Are you feeling better? You'll still be able to play volleyball, right?"

"Angela overreacted, it's nothing serious. I'll be fine."

"Good, good."

I finally reached my locker and, with a quick look over my shoulder to check for Cullens, I swung it open and grabbed my textbooks for my next two classes as quickly as possible.

Mike must have noticed, "Pretty boy and the Perfects didn't show up today, they've gone camping.

My heart soared thankfully. I was being spared any further humiliation. Camping? I was a little jealous, my parents would never take me on a school day. But that meant… Great. I was approaching this all wrong. I should have been reading The Outdoorswoman or something. I didn't fully understand though. Could someone that looked and dressed as well as him be into a granola, cargo pants, heavy foot wear wearing girl. It was time to up my game.

Then it dawned on me. Who the hell goes camping in the middle of the week? I was lost in my thoughts for too long and Mike started to look at me like my concussion was coming back.

"You sure you'll be okay for volley ball?"

"How do you know?"

"How do I know that you're not up for volley ball?"

"No, idiot. How do you know they went camping?"

He smirked and I knew this information would cost me. I sized him up and placed my first offer. We had done this so many times since elementary school that we had begun to sound like auctioneers rattling off their offers and counteroffers.

"Lunch. My treat. Fries and a Coke."

"Fries a Coke and a Sloppy Joe."

"No Sloppy Joe. Make it a chicken burger."

"It's Sloppy Joe day. I want a Sloppy Joe."

"Why a Sloppy Joe?"

"Sloppy Joe or no deal."

"."

"Okay," Mike relaxed and cleared his throat dramatically. "The Cullens came into my parents' store yesterday. They even signed up for our mailing list. They bought a bunch of hiking equipment and told my mom they would be taking advantage of the nice weather today to explore the 'natural beauties of the woods'. That is how I know."

"That wasn't worth a Sloppy Joe."

Finally able to rest easy I made my way to Miss Ridley's class and I will begrudgingly admit that school wasn't quite as terrible as I had anticipated. I didn't have to face the Cullens and Angela kept my fake hemorrhoids a secret. I totally owed her.

As I sat in class I thought about the past couple days. It was nice to have no distractions. I could concentrate on what was important and make a game plan. So far my luck had been completely non-existent and I had managed to make a fool of myself more times than I could count. It was about time for my luck to change.

I made an oath that period, while Miss Ridley explained the importance of Freytag's Pyramid. I swore to be brave and bold. I swore to be cute and confident. I swore to stop waiting around and to stop feeling sorry for myself. I swore to suck it up and ask Edward out.

I was terrified.

Remember: TEASERS

… well, you get the idea.