3. Brittany
Everybody in that room knew that Brittany S. Pierce may not be the most intelligent, smart or… simply focused at William McKinley High School. Sometimes she said something stupid. Sometimes she said… well, sometimes she didn't say anything because she was talking to herself in her mind. She was not crazy; she was just a reflexive person.
"Okay. Keep smiling. Keep smiling. Keep smiling. Keep smiling. Stop smiling, you're gonna look dumb." Her therapist told her not to do that. He told her to express her thoughts. To say them out loud, even though they are nonsense.
She couldn't talk to herself, so she pictured herself in a white empty room. There were just two chairs. Lord Tubbington sat on one of them, and Brittany was seated opposite to her grossly dimensioned cat.
"So, my dear, what's the problem today?" The cat asked in a British accent. It was Brittany's mind, so if the cat wanted to wear a tux and a top hat, he totally could. "Let's go straight to the point, darling, I have a party to attend in Buckingham Palace. You know, Lizzy wants me to meet William and Kate's dog. And I don't want to look like a gold digger, so if you could give me 100 bucks I'd appreciate it." He winked an eye to his owner and held out his paw. "Why aren't you focusing on the class, honey?"
"Duets bore me. They are confusing. If someone is singing, why not just let them finish the song?" She frowned. "And why are you here? I was expecting Mrs. Spears, she hugs me when I'm sad."
Lord Tubbington crossed his legs. "She's trying to get Lady Gaga out of the business. You know, the whole princess of pop thing. Brit has been wanting to take Gaga to court accusing her of cruelty to animals since the MTV Music Awards of 2010."
Brittany just nodded.
"Do you get it, Brittany?"
"Get what?"
"She fights for what she wants. For what she deserves." Lord Tubbington raised his eyebrows.
And the realization took place.
Brittany came down to Earth and suddenly stood up. The class wasn't over and Mr. Shue was in the middle of one of his boring pep talks.
"Is everything alright, Brittany?" He asked.
"Girls! We run this motha…" She shouted. "Wait, no, this wasn't the one I wanted to sing." Then Brittany walked out of the door without saying a thing.
Will carried on with his speech. "Sectionals are earlier this year, and we need three more members. We only have seven weeks to figure out the songs, the choreography, the clothing…"
Mr. Shue got interrupted again. Brittany came in with an entourage of Cheerios and a boom box.
[Till the world ends - Britney Spears]
Brittany:
This kicked in got your tongue tied in knots, I see.
Spit it out 'cause I'm dying for company.
I notice that you got it.
You notice that I want it.
You know that I can take it to the next level baby.
If you want this good shit sicker than the remix.
Baby let me blow your mind tonight.
Brittany with the Cheerios:
I can't take it take it take no more.
Never felt like felt like felt like this before.
Come on get me get me on the floor.
DJ what you what you waiting for?
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
The club started dancing as well.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Brittany:
Watch me move when I lose, when I lose it hard.
Get you off with a touch, dancing in the dark.
You know notice what I'm wearing.
I'm noticing you staring.
You know that I can take it to the next level baby.
Hotter than the A-list, next one on my hit list.
Baby let me blow your mind tonight.
Brittany with the Cheerios:
I can't take it take it take no more.
Never felt like felt like felt like this before.
Come on get me get me on the floor.
DJ what you what you waiting for?
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
Brittany with the Cheerios and New Directions:
See the sunlight, we ain't stopping.
Keep on dancing till the world ends.
If you feel it, let it happen.
Keep on dancing till the world ends.
Keep on dancing till the world ends.
"Mr. Shue, class, Cheerios, Britney." She looked up like Britney was dead or something. "I hereby announce my candidacy for New Directions' leader."
"No, seriously, this has to be a joke." Rachel stood up. "I am the captain of this team, you can't pretend that I'm not here."
Tina stood up and faced Rachel. "Look, Berry, you promised me that this was going to be my year. I've let you be the star for three years but you're not gonna overshadow me anymore." She pointed her out with her finger. "You get it? This is my senior year. You had yours. You had your three-season-long Rachel Berry show. And now it's my turn. And you won't take that from me!" Tina ended up shouting, full of rage.
Brittany came closer to her and held out her hand. "Hey, I think we don't know each other. I'm Brittany S. Pierce." She said with a smile on her face. "Vote for me."
Tina pulled her hair out in frustration and yelled. Then she stormed out and bumped into Mrs. Sylvester.
"What the hell is going on and why did you steal my Cheerios, Dummy Dumb-Dumb?" Sue asked to Brittany.
"Sue, please, don't…" William tried to calm things down.
"I am about to give birth. I haven't taken a maternity leave because I am a strong and determined woman who can… Wait a moment." She turned to the kids. "What's Little Barbra doing here?"
"I left New York because my…" Rachel replied, but got interrupted.
"I don't care. It was a rhetorical question. You see this belly? Sylvester doesn't need to hear your pouting either. I am six months pregnant and I don't want to deal with you losers another year." She turned to Brittany before walking away. "You're out of the team, and if you dare to face me and don't take off that uniform in the next two and a half seconds you'll spend the rest of the year pooping pompoms. Am I understood?"
"We won Nationals. We are no losers anymore." Sugar mumbled once Sue and the Cheerios left.
Rachel pointed out. "No thanks to you." She walked to the middle of the choir room. "Okay, let me put it simple and clear. I am back, whether you like it or not."
She couldn't finish her statement. "Mr. Shue, if you're gonna give her the main role in this group again, I'm out." Artie headed to roll out of the class too.
Will took a deep breath. "Rachel, they have a point. I can't hand you the crown one more year. But you have the right to be leader too. So here's what we are going to do." Mr. Shue wrote the names of Rachel, Tina, Brittany and Artie on the board. "Put a number together, and we'll vote for our co-captains." Will made a pause. "Three years ago nobody wanted to be in the yearbook picture and now you're ripping each other's eyes out to become the leaders."
Blaine raised his hand shyly. "Yeah, Blaine?" Mr. Shue asked.
"I'd like to run for co-captain too." He said.
Artie sighed and rolled out of the classroom, while the rest of the kids didn't say a thing. Mr. Shue wrote Blaine's name on the board too. Then there was a silence. It took a few seconds for it to be broken by a tall figure standing on the doorstep.
"I'd definitely vote for you." He winked an eye at Blaine as he came in. "Mr. Shue, right?" He said looking at Will. "I've been told that you need some singers. Well, here I am."
There was a collective eyebrow raise when Sebastian Smythe showed up without his Dalton blazer.
