5. Sugar

"Are we going to vote or what?" Sugar asked impatiently.

The group had made a circle. Mrs. Pillsbury gave a piece of paper to every kid, including Will. "Write down the names of the two candidates you want to be the new co-captains." She made a brief pause. "Oh, I love democracy." She smiled widely and sat down.

"We should wait for Blaine and Rachel to come back," Will said. "For the record, the captains will decide the recruiting numbers. We still need two more members, and they have to be able to sing. We can't go to Sectionals with the band just moving their mouths on the back."

Tina raised an eyebrow as she looked at Sugar. "Then make it three," she whispered to Artie to in his ear.

Sugar could hear it. "I was the star of the Troubletones, you can't mock me." She turned to Rory. "Why aren't you defending my honor? I am your lady, I thought you used monarchy and that stuff in your country."

"You dumped me in the summer; I don't have to defend you anymore." He turned to Sam. "Right?" He really didn't know if he had to do it or not. Adapting to the American culture was taking him a little bit longer than he expected. Sam shook his head.

"My dad bought you the green card, so technically you're mine. And if I don't make you wear a leash is because they are so 2010." She headed to the backstage as the New Directions struggled to get out of the shock that Sugar's words had caused.

"21st century teenage slavery. Hot," Sebastian said.

"You're so disgusting," Sam replied as the Warbler winked an eye at him.


"We are about to vot…" Sugar went speechless the moment she saw Blaine and Rachel making out. "OH." She put her hand on her chest. "MY." Her eyes opened so much that she felt a cramp. "GOD!"

Blaine and Rachel pulled back. He fixed his bowtie and Rachel blushed so bright she could have been confused with a traffic light. "Please don't tell anyone!" the both of them shouted in unison.

"And what's in it for me?" Sugar sat on one of the boudoirs, with her legs crossed and her eyebrows raising intermittently.

"One solo, two solos, one hundred solos!" Rachel got down on her knees, begging while Blaine leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, putting his head between his knees.

Sugar burst out laughing. "Okay, I won't tell anyone because you're so tiny that I don't think anybody would notice anyway, so…" She shrugged and walked out of the backstage, followed by Blaine and Rachel. "What did I miss?" she asked to the group.

"Okay, so let's do this." Will waited a few seconds to count the votes out loud. "Artie and Tina. Tina and Artie."

The both of them high-fived.

"Brittany and Brittany? Brittany, you can't vote yourself twice."

"I sang on my own, that's twice as difficult, so I deserve twice of votes. Mr. Shue, I thought I was the dummy one."

Will sighed and carried on. "Rachel and Blaine. Blaine and Rachel inside a star. Blaine and Rachel. Brittany and he-midget. Barbra and Hottie." Schuester frowned at Sebastian and Sugar. "You have to stop calling these things to each other. Nicknames hurt."

She sent a thankful prayer to the whole class. "It's okay, Mr. Shue, as long as they acknowledge our…" Blaine shut Rachel's mouth before she could finish her classic statement.

"And, last vote, Brittany S. Pierce and… what's the other name?"

"I think that's mine," Rory said. "It's Blaine."

"I thought being a foreigner did just affect the speech, not the writing. I'm gonna have to teach you how to write too?" Sugar pulled her hair out in exhaustion.

"Tina and Artie, two votes. Brittany, three votes. Rachel, four votes. Blaine, six votes. We have our new co-captains," Will announced.

"New? Seriously?" Tina was trying her best not to stand up and smack Rachel against the piano.

Rachel stood up and took a bow. Blaine just smiled, feeling himself loved. "Thanks," he said.

"Mr. Schuester, I know that you are about to go begging on your knees for more members and I don't have to, but I have prepared a number for my audition." Sebastian stood up and whistled like a shepherd calling his flock. Five Warblers appeared in his blazers on the stage. "They owe me one, I threw the party where they got laid for the first time. Pretty awesome. Next time I'll invite you all."

He joined his friends on the stage. "And, giving the circumstances, this song goes out to our leader."

[Girlfriend – Avril Lavigne]

Sebastian with the Warblers:
Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend.
No way, no way, I think you need a new one.
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your boyfriend.

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me.
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret.
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your boyfriend.

You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious.
I think about you all the time, you're so addictive.
Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright?

Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious.
And hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking prince here.
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right.

He's like so whatever.
You could do so much better.
I think we should get together now.
And that's what everyone's talking about.

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend.
No way, no way, I think you need a new one.
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your boyfriend.

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me.
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret.
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your boyfriend.

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me.
And even when you look away I know you think of me.
I know you talk about me all the time again and again.

So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear.
Better yet, make your boyfriend disappear.
I don't wanna hear you say his name ever again.

Cause he's like so whatever.
And you could do so much better.
I think we should get together now.
And that's what everyone's talking about.

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend.
No way, no way, I think you need a new one.
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your boyfriend.

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me.
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret.
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your boyfriend.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger.
Cause I can, cause I can do it better.
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?
He's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger.
Cause I can, cause I can do it better.
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?
He's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend.
No way, no way, I think you need a new one.
Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your boyfriend.
No way, no way.

Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me.
No way, no way, you know it's not a secret.
Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your boyfriend.
No way, no way, no way, hey, hey!

Blaine raised his notebook with a gigantic "NO" written on it. He shook it and pointed at the clearest message ever several times while Sugar applauded like crazy. "You are a hottie too, but… you have homicidal instincts and I don't know if our thing could work, but thanks, sweetie." The most awkward thing in the auditorium wasn't the constant sexual harassment or the proportionally constant rejection between the two former Warblers, it was that Sugar said those words absolutely convinced of Sebastian's crush on her.

Will didn't know what to say either. It was the second day and there was already a civil war between hormones at that high school. "Welcome to New Directions, Sebastian and, Blaine and Rachel, you have to put together our recruiting numbers for next week, okay?" He grabbed Emma by the arm and, according to what he told her later, "when the tension is not violent but only sexual, the best thing you can do is to get the fuck out of the class. Let them blow off some steam and try newer and weirder pairings. It has never failed in three years."


Sugar walked out of the auditorium and went to her locker. Rachel and Blaine passed by next to her while she was picking up her cardigan. "You owe me." She did while making the watching-you sign to the couple. They just nodded and kept walking.

Sebastian appeared right when Sugar shut her locker. She jumped in alarm, not expecting him so close to her. "What do you want? Don't stalk me. I know I've broken your heart, but that doesn't entitle you to be a creepo."

He blinked a couple times, annoyed. "Look, girl, I don't like you, you wish I liked you. I just need to know how things are going between the little piece of meat and Lady Face."

"And why do you think I'm gonna tell you? They're my friends."

"Because I could set you up with one of my friends. Choose the one you like the most and he'll be your new slave. I can't believe that the Irish kid pleases you."

"I don't know…" Sugar bit her bottom lip. "The evil one was Santana, I don't know if I wanna sell my fri…"

Then Sebastian kissed Sugar passionately.

"They broke up in the summer because Blaine didn't want to be in a long-distance relationship with Kurt living with Santana. And now he's nailing Rachel Berry because Kurt kicked her out of NYADA so he could get in." Sugar basically spat the words.

Sebastian pulled back and walked away. "Now being just gay is too mainstream for these people." He sighed and left Sugar sliding down to the floor, in shock and horny as hell.