12. Kurt (II)
"What are you doing here?" Blaine asked when he opened the door.
Kurt was standing right in front of him. His head low, his eyes red. "I wanted to apologize." Blaine tried to close the door, but Kurt put his foot in its way. "Please. Just… listen to me."
"Go away." He didn't look at his ex boyfriend. He couldn't.
"I did it…"
"I know why you did it."
Kurt raised his head, looking for Blaine's eyes. His foot still between the door and the frame. "Blaine, please." Tears started running down his cheeks.
"You had no right." Blaine pulled back and let Kurt in. He sat on the couch, thinking that the sooner they took everything out, the sooner Kurt would go away. He rested his head in his hands, looking at the floor.
Kurt walked in and closed the door behind him. He leaned on it, trying his best not to slide down and collapse. "I'm leaving tonight. It won't take too long. Finn and Quinn will pick me up when they come back from Breadstix."
"Don't beat around the bush, Kurt. Go straight to the point. I don't have the time or the pleasure to say that I feel like having this conversation."
"I did it for love." He kept crying.
Blaine put his head between his knees. "You have to move on. We can't hold on to this and we definitely can't rerun this scene every time you leave Lima, because it's not healthy."
Kurt started walking towards Blaine. "I came here for… closure."
The shorter boy took a deep breath and finally looked up. "We had it! I fucking grew some balls to let you go! And I felt like shit, and every single time I hear your name it comes back to me! I don't want to spend my life in that day. This is not gonna be a constant break up because we already broke up! There's nothing else for us to do together." Blaine's hands were shaking after that harsh statement.
"We didn't break up. You did." Kurt sat on the coffee table, right in front of Blaine. "And… I… I just wanted to see you one last time."
Blaine didn't answer. What could he answer to that? Kurt was ripping his heart out of his chest and giving it to him on a silver platter. "How are you doing in New York? Everything alright?"
"Wonderful." He let a smile draw on his face. "There's no need to ask you the same."
"I don't want to hate or… storm out of the rooms you're in… or shut doors in your face, Kurt." Blaine held his hand. "I never wanted this to be a war with you playing with Finn and Rachel and…"
Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand. "Let's not talk about that, okay?"
"How can we not talk about them? We can't sweep the shit under the rug and think that everything is fine, because it is not."
They fell silent for a while, feeling each other's hands.
"Do you love her?" Kurt felt claws tearing his skin off his body. But he was dying to know if he had lost the love of his life forever.
Those questions. Blaine hated them. "Do I love her?" he thought. "Could I ever love someone who is in love with the brother of the man I should love? Am I the one who fucked everything up? Can anyone handle this for me? Because I fucking can't."
"No."
Kurt leaned forward to kiss Blaine, but he pulled back.
"No," Blaine said again.
The crushed-hearted boy stood up as he blushed as hell. "Sorry."
"Don't be." Blaine hugged him tight, feeling Kurt's tears fall on his shoulder. "Give me a year. Give us a year. And if by next September when I go to New York we haven't found any other people, then kiss me. But don't do this to us now, because we don't need another heartache."
Kurt smiled and let go of the hug, stepping back while holding Blaine's hands. "If I didn't have to go back to New York..." he got ready for another breath-taking question, "…would you kiss me?"
Blaine nodded, walking Kurt to the door. "But if I kiss you tonight, we wouldn't fix anything." He smiled, feeling… in peace? The day Blaine Anderson put his head and his heart in order, he'd get a medal or at least a statue in the middle of the Times Square.
Kurt walked out when Finn honked the horn. Blaine looked at Finn's car. "Did you tell me earlier that Finn and Quinn were picking you up? Finn and Quinn? I mean… Quinn?" Blaine asked when he saw the blond head in the passenger's seat.
"Long story," Kurt killed the conversation. He kissed Blaine goodbye on his cheek. "Goodbye, Blaine."
"Take care of yourself." Blaine smiled, trying his best not to cry.
Kurt climbed into his brother's car as he watched his… friend close the door. Once in, he lay on the back seat, hiding his face in his hands.
"How did it go?" Quinn asked turning back to look at his soon-to-be brother-in-law.
"Let's just say it didn't go."
"Now it seems like you are about to take a leap into an abyss, but it really is jumping across a puddle," the tall boy said while stroking his brother's hand.
"It really is?" Kurt looked at Finn.
"Moving on is not that hard." Somehow he remembered his pact with himself. Not to lie? Ever? "Fuck the pact and fuck my morals," he thought. Blaine and Kurt's ultimate break up made him realize that he would have to fight Blaine in the race to… He shut off his mind. He didn't like thinking of Rachel when Quinn was around, just in case she could read him. He turned on the radio and drove to the airport.
[Un-break my heart – Tony Braxton]
When the song began, they didn't know if it was appropriate to let it play. "Do you want me turn it off?" Quinn knew so well what it felt like to be in those situations, under Rachel Berry's long shadow.
The devastated boy let himself drown in the music, feeling every single word as he was singing them to Blaine in front of his closed door.
Kurt:
Don't leave me in all this pain.
Don't leave me out in the rain.
Come back and bring back my smile.
Come and take these tears away.
I need your arms to hold me now.
The nights are so unkind.
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me.
Un-break my heart.
Say you'll love me again.
Undo this hurt you caused
when you walked out the door
and walked outta my life.
Un-cry these tears.
I cried so many nights.
Un-break my heart.
My heart.
Blaine opened the door and let him in.
Kurt:
Take back that sad word good-bye.
Bring back the joy to my life.
Don't leave me here with these tears.
Come and kiss this pain away.
I can't forget the day you left.
Time is so unkind.
And life is so cruel without you here beside me.
Blaine and Kurt:
Un-break my heart.
Say you'll love me again.
Undo this hurt you caused
when you walked out the door
and walked outta my life.
Un-cry these tears.
I cried so many nights.
Un-break my heart.
One last slow dance. One last time Kurt got Blaine's hands on his hips. One last time he got to kiss Blaine's lips. One last time, even though it never took place.
Blaine:
Don't leave me in all this pain.
Kurt:
Don't leave me out in the rain
Blaine and Kurt:
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me.
Un-break my heart.
Say you'll love me again.
Undo this hurt you caused
when you walked out the door
and walked outta my life.
Un-cry these tears.
I cried so many, many nights.
Un-break my...
Kurt:
Un-break my heart, oh baby.
Come back and say you love me.
Un-break my heart, sweet darling.
Without you I just can't go on.
Blaine:
Say that you love me.
Say that you love me.
Come back.
Un-break my…
Kurt:
Can't go on.
Blaine:
Say that you love me.
Say that you love me.
Come back.
Un-break my…
"Come here." Finn dropped Kurt's bags on the ground and gave a huge hug to his brother. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Thank you. For everything." Then Kurt leaned into the hug and whispered, "you do this right. I know you will, but… do it right. I didn't tell Blaine anything about you two anyway."
He moved to hug Quinn. "Don't do anything in my bedroom, okay, sis?" He chuckled as he walked to the gate. "See ya."
"Wait, I have to give you something." The blonde went through her purse and gave Kurt two pearl-color envelopes. "One's for you. The other is for your new man."
"I see you didn't have a lot of faith in me and Blaine." Kurt chuckled as he opened one of them.
"You can always mail it to him," Finn interceded.
Kurt read it out loud, his eyes widening at every word he said. "We, Quinn and Finn, invite you to share the celebration of our love next Saturday, September… Wait a minute, that's next Saturday." Kurt stopped when he realized that the date wasn't the big thing. "Oh God you're getting married this Saturday!" he shouted in the middle of the airport.
He got on the plane after 15 minutes of yays and I-need-to-be-your-bestman-and-if-I'm-not-we-are-not-family-anymores. Once on his sit, Kurt texted Finn. "You know weddings are my thing, but don't you even think for a second that I'm okay with it. XX. Your groomsman."
