A/N: a shout out to J.. good luck on the exams.. i know you'll do great! :)


BRITTANY'S POV

"Where have you been?" It was the statement Quinn greeted me with as soon as she saw me walking towards our house. I inhaled deeply, not wanting to argue, so I said as calmly as I could, "I told you I was just out with my officemates."

She followed me towards the house and when we got in she hissed, "I don't even know who those people are! You've only spent a week with them Britt! For all you know they're bad persons!"

Ugh! Not this again.

"Sis! I'm here all right? I'm safe! Please don't worry too much about me. And they are not bad persons." I understand why she's being this way. This is the first time I went out this late after that group project back from my freshman year. Quinn threw a fit just because I didn't arrive at the exact hour I should be. But that was years ago. I'm 23 for god's sake. I should be living in my own now.

But of course I love my family and I can't move out. Besides, Quinn is still paying for my college funds and even though I can have a part time job to sustain myself, I doubt I can study that much if I don't have enough free time. Sigh, oh the hardships of life.

Quinn hasn't stopped pestering me about my late arrival but I just tried my hardest to shut her out. When I had the opportunity, I dashed to my room and locked myself in.

So many thoughts swirled into my head instantly after I'm alone. Things that I want to happen, wishes that I want to fulfill, things I want to fix, memories I regret, actions I shouldn't have done. Then everything went back to Santana.

Everywhere I go, she's always at the back of my mind. I didn't want to think about her as much. But when I let my thoughts wander aimlessly, it always leads to her. Just now, after Sam dropped me off and I was walking towards our house, I thought about her and how she treated me today.

I racked my brain for reasons why she acted like that towards me. Not once she teased me or humiliated me. She's been quiet and respectful plus irresistibly beautiful, especially when she puts on that sincere smile. That heart melting smile that I can't get off my head.

Every time I close my eyes, her gorgeous face is the one that I see. I can't stop thinking about her. I hope she doesn't get hiccups because they say that if you're thinking about a person too much, they would most likely get one. I'm sorry Santana. I can't help myself.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated, indicating someone texted me. It was an unknown number. I opened the message and it read,

Did you get home safe? Please reply. I'm worried.

-Santana

My breath hitched and my heart pounded after I read the name. She sent me a message. She's worried. Naturally I told my self to ignore it. I placed my phone far away from me and I even put it inside a drawer. But after just 5 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my phone and tapped away.

I'm already home. Thanks. Where did you get my number?

I read my message over and over, debating if it's too friendly or if it's too cold. I knew the latter one was correct but I sent it anyway. I bit my nails nervously as I waited for her reply. I don't even know if she's going to reply. If not then fine, but I really want her to.

My heart jumped from my chest again as I felt my phone vibrate beside me. I quickly opened the message.

I asked Kurt. I hope you didn't mind. I'm glad you're safe. Good night Brittany. Sweet dreams. See you on Monday!

- xo Santana

After I read the message for over ten times like what I did at my previous message, I stared at the two letters beside her name. XO. If I'm not mistaken that means hugs and kisses right? I know it's stupid but I felt happy just because of that little thing. For all I know, maybe it's just her habit to sign her name with those letters but I didn't care. Maybe I over analyzed it. But again, I don't care. I'm definitely going to have sweet dreams tonight.


SANTANA'S POV

Good morning Britt! Have a nice weekend. :)

-xo Santana

I know I may have been pushing my limits texting her for 2 days consecutively but I couldn't stop myself. It's like a drug when she replied to my first text message from her. I got addicted. I'm craving for more. I need her to talk to me.

I'm not expecting her to reply or anything. But when she did, my head just spun wildly and I felt like a lovesick teenager. Even though her reply was so short and cold as ice, it didn't matter to me. All I care about is she replied.

How about now? Will she reply again? Maybe she wouldn't. She hates me. Or she's feeling awkward as fuck right now. Sigh. What should I do?

"Santana, are you even listening to me?" echoed Kurt's voice inside my blurry thoughts. Oh, I forgot I'm with him. We had a weekend meeting for some stuff that I'm supposed to know about since I'm the head of the freaking firm but I really have no idea of anything since Brittany started working there. I let Kurt took over for a while and it seems he's enjoying it.

"Hummel, it's a Saturday. I don't why we're supposed to do this right now." I said annoyed while heading towards the café near my apartment.

"This is important! So please could you stop staring at your phone and listen to me?" How can I stop staring at my phone when I'm waiting for Brittany's reply? If she's going to.

I'm still staring blankly at the screen hoping a text message would cheer my day up. But alas, there's none. What did I expect? I gave up and put the phone inside my pocket. I tried to listen to whatever Kurt is saying but it's no use. I just can't get my mind to think about other things other than her. It frustrates me but at the same time, it makes me feel sane. That's stupid to say since thinking about someone a lot isn't considered sane. But of all the things I've been through, I could safely say that Brittany could be the sanest thing I've ever thought about.

"Clearly you're distracted. You know what, fine. I'll do this on my own. And don't blame me if you don't like the idea." I shot a whatever-you-say look to Kurt. I shrugged him off when he rolled his eyes at me. I stood up to leave and said, "Whatever Hummel. I've got better things to think about."

"You mean like Brittany?" He joked but I didn't see the humor in it. I put on my death glare and directed it to him. He held out his hand in front of his chest and said, "Too far? I'm sorry." I turned my back and left the restaurant.

I checked my phone again for the umpteenth time. There's still no reply from Brittany. I guess I deserve it. I shouldn't really have texted her in the first place. Plus, my message isn't really important or anything. If I was the one who received it, I'd probably ignore it as well.

Sigh. I am so boring. Wait.. Did I just call myself boring? I mean, I'm Santana freaking Lopez! I sure as hell not a boring person!

Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I slept with someone. When was it? A week? Two weeks? A month?

My eyes widened with the sudden realization.

I haven't had sex in a month.

I had never been without sex for too long. It's like one of my life's necessities. But right now, that doesn't seem important anymore. Why?

Ask a certain blonde.

Just then, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I saw a text message and I opened it hurriedly. The smile I let out after reading it lasted the whole day.

Thanks San. You too. Eat on time. See you.

_Brittany_


BRITTANY'S POV

"So how's the internship going?" Tina asked me while we're walking on a familiar street near the university. We haven't seen each other for a week so we decided to get some grub at our favorite café. And I had to admit, I definitely missed Tina's company. With her I can be more of myself than when surrounded by the adults at the firm and under Santana's watchful eyes.

"It's going good. Better than I expected." I said as we settled down and ordered some sinful desserts.

"How about Miss Hot Lawyer? Are you two in good terms now?"

"Not yet but I think she's slowly forgiving me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the first few days were hell coz she made it miserable but at the end of the week, she kinda cooled down and didn't bother me that much. Especially when I helped Attorney Hummel with his case." I said confidently. Tina beamed broadly at me.

I looked at her questioningly. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Oh.. nothing! I'm just getting ready to count the days." She said in a sing-song voice.

"Counting the days of what?" I asked as the waiter placed my coffee and Tina's juice at the table. I took a sip of my coffee but I almost spat it out because of Tina's answer. "I'm counting the days until the two of you get together."

I choked at first and then said, "Tina! What are you talking about?"

"Oh c'mon Brittany. You know I ship the two of you!" She said happily. Ship? What the hell is a ship? I scowled at her but she ignored it.

The teasing continued as Tina wouldn't drop the subject. I explained to her loads of times that there is nothing happening between Santana and I, but it landed on deaf ears. Then I grew tired of explaining and finally gave up, letting her talk about what she thinks is gonna happen.

It continued like that for a while when Tina suddenly stopped talking, her eyes widened, while she stared intently at something behind me.

"Hey Tina? What is it?" I tried to catch her attention but she didn't take notice of me. So I turned around and see for myself what caught her attention.

I saw a familiar looking woman across the street, looking around her surroundings, clearly waiting for someone. I squinted my eyes to get a better look and I realized it was her.

"Santana?" I mumbled to myself. "What is she doing here?"

Just then a taxi stopped in front of her and another woman stepped out of it. Santana welcomed her with a huge grin on her face then she wrapped her olive arms around the girl while the other one did the same. They started walking at the opposite direction while Santana's hand is placed securely on the girl's waist.

I couldn't explain the fury I felt after the exchange. Who the hell was that girl and what is she doing with Santana?

"Could it be…? Is that her girlfriend?" I heard Tina ask still staring at the direction the two had vanished from. She let out a loud sigh and said, "If it is… then my plans are ruined!"

I drop my head down and faced Tina again. I can feel her eyes on me. "Hey Britt? Are you okay?"

What's the matter with me? What do I care who that girl is? I don't care if that's her girlfriend. She can do whatever she wants. It's none of my business. But why do I feel so angry at Santana? I have this stupid feeling like she cheated on me.

Apparently, it was evident on my face since Tina still kept pestering me about what we saw even after we left the café. She insisted that I was jealous and I should do something about it.

Fine. I am jealous. Whoever that girl is she should lay off Santana. They don't even look good together.

But of course, I won't do anything about it. I can't. Even if I wanted to, I don't have any right.

Tina and I finally separated. Before she left, she asked me something that will haunt me for the rest of the night. Even if I think about the answer, I can't come up with anything. I shook my head and decided to go to sleep.

Thoughts of Santana and that girl crept into my brain as I lay on my bed. What could they be doing now? Where are they? Is Santana having fun with that girl? Are they doing it? UGH.. I shook my head in disgust. What the fuck am I thinking?

Just then a light beep made me open my eyes and I saw that it was my phone.

It's such a beautiful night. It reminds me of you. Sleep well Britt.

-xo Santana

I scrunched my face with disgust. What is she playing at? At this time of night, she's probably doing it with that girl! The nerve of her to text me!

I discarded my phone angrily, not bothering to reply to the message.

The question Tina asked me came back to my head and I definitely knew the answer.

When will you finally admit your feelings for Santana?

My answer?

Never.


It was Monday once again which means another week to be spent at Santana's firm. After what happened yesterday and the disturbing thoughts I had last night, I have this need to not see her right now. I'm on my foul mood mode and everything just started to annoy me. I have this don't-cross-me-right-now-or-you'll-regret-it look on my face which made people at the street stare at me and then avoid me.

My bad mood also seemed to be noticed by the people at the office including Kurt and Sam who approached me at my desk just as I sat down.

"What's wrong Britt?" Kurt asked as the two of them took the chairs in front of my table. "Don't tell me you're already having a bad day. It's only 8 o'clock." Sam said checking his watch. It's amazing how he could act like nothing happened that Friday night. He didn't even showed any awkwardness towards me like he forgot all about it.

It was a good thing though; at least it wouldn't be a problem for me. But if my head is twisted like maybe Santana's, I could use Sam to make her jealous. Sadly and thankfully, I'm not that kind of girl.

I shrugged those thoughts from my mind and concentrated on the two people wanting to have a conversation with me. I managed a weak unconvincing smile and said, "I just didn't have enough sleep last night." Lame excuse but it worked.

"Why? What did you do?" Sam asked, concerned.

"I was just thinking about something." I blurted out. It was a wrong move coz I know they will ask about what it is. But the person I least expected it to ask was the one who fired the question.

"What were you thinking about?" I shot my head up to get a good view of her face. She looked cheerful than usual. Her features are glowing with happiness and I can't stand to look at her knowing what could've caused that transformation.

"Excuse me." I said in a hushed tone while I got up hurriedly and walked out of there. I rushed pass Santana and brisk walked to the emergency stair case of the building where it's always deserted.


SANTANA'S POV

What happened to her? As far as I know, I haven't said anything mean to her since last week. Kurt and Sam looked confused as well but it vanished when they turned to glare at me.

"What did you do this time?" Kurt asked as the two of them looked at accusingly.

"Hey, I didn't do anything wrong! I haven't said anything mean to her today!" I defended myself. The nerve of these two to accuse me. I rolled my eyes at them and followed Brittany to wherever she went.

I searched the possible places she could've been to, the bathroom, inside the cubicle, the pantry, the firm library… But she was nowhere to be found.

I stopped near the entrance to the emergency stair cases as I think of the other places she could've went. I called the lobby guard and he said he didn't see Brittany exit the building. So I assumed she's around here somewhere.

Then a huge thump caused me to turn my attention to the door where it came from. It was the emergency exit door. I slowly opened it and saw Brittany slumped on the stairs with her face buried in her hands.

I approached her cautiously, not wanting to scare her away. When I'm merely inches away from her, she looked up with watery eyes.

"Hey, why are you crying?" I was surprised in the softness of my voice. Like it didn't come from me. I've never heard me like this before. And it really shocked me. I suppose Brittany was shocked too by the look in her face. She's so beautiful even though she's crying like this.

I slowly reached out my hand to touch her. I have this urge to hug her tight and cure whatever pain she's having right now. I don't want to see her this way. It breaks my heart that I could be the cause of this, even if I don't know what I did.

"Did I do something wrong? Please tell me." I practically begged for her to tell me. I was kneeling in front of her now and she's just staring at me with those electric blue eyes.

The things I saw in those blue orbs where unexplainable. Like somehow, I've reached into her soul, like I'm seeing her for the first time. It was bare and it is unguarded unlike what she displayed in front of me everyday. I felt like it was if she's going to pour her heart out to me, at this moment.

She was about to speak, and I know she's going to tell me something. Go on Brittany. Say it.

"I.." she began with a quivering voice. I raised my eyebrows encouragingly so she would continue what she wanted to say.

But then she stood up like she realized what she was doing was wrong. I stood up as well, trying to block out the door so she can't escape."I can't do this.." she said as she pushed her way out the door.

"No Brittany, I won't let you out unless you tell me what your problem is!" I firmly said but she kept on pushing her way through. I gave a slight push just so she was in front of me again but that ticked her off and she began yelling, "YOU ARE MY PROBLEM! I don't want to see you; I don't want to talk you, I don't want even to be near you! So can you please LEAVE ME ALONE?"

I stood there stunned at what she said. She almost seemed surprised at what she let out as well but she quickly recovered and took the opportunity to vanish out of my sight.


A/N Part 2: finally.. sigh.. not too happy with this tho.. but tell me what you think.. my next chapter has been planned out and i know i'm moving too slow.. so will work on that.. i'm getting impatient with myself too.. lol

please drop a review if u feel like it..