15. Puck
"Open up!" Noah Puckerman shouted at the third of the twenty-seven smacks he granted to the Hudson's front door. "Finn! Finn! Finn! FINN!"
"What the fuck, man?!" Finn said as he opened the door. He was just in a pair of old boxers, rubbing his eyes and trying to wake up. Once he finally could he spread his eyes open. "What the fuck, Puck?!" He hugged his bro the moment he realized he was the one who got him out of bed.
Puck patted Finn's back a few times before pulling back. "Okay, you're a sweaty sleeper." Both of them chuckled. "But that's not what I'm here for!" Then he slapped Finn with a pearl-color envelope in the face. "You have two seconds to give me a good reason for me not to shove this up your flat ass!" And he slapped him two more times.
"Dude! Stop!" Finn stepped back, trying to get rid of Puck's attacks. "What are you doing?" Finn's brain did need a few minutes to start off in the morning.
The mohawked one closed the door after him and sat on the couch. "It's easy." Puck balled up the invitation and threw it to Finn. "What the fuck is this? And it's not a rhetortic question!"
"It's not a rhetoric question; it's an invitation to my wedding."
"I know that! I know how to read, you moron!"
"Then maybe it was a rhetoric question…"
Puck slapped him one more time. "You marrying Fabray?! Not cool, man!"
"Can you stop doing that and listen to me for a moment?!" Finn sat on the couch next to Puck once this one finished hitting Hudson. "Okay, what do you want to know?"
Puck twisted Finn's nipples. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?!"
Finn squirmed and yelled while trying to push his friend's grip away without hurting himself even more. "Dude, fuck off!"
The both of them fell silent once Puck pulled his hands away. They sat still for a few minutes, thinking of what they were doing. It felt childish but… on the other hand… it looked serious as well. Was it just a play or were there more feelings involved?
"You can't do this to Rachel," Puck sentenced finally.
Finn's eyes were fixed on the carpet. He couldn't look Puck in the eye in that exact moment. "I can't do this to Rachel or I can't do this to you?"
Puck rested his head on his hands. What could he answer? "Dude, you know I love you, but…" He looked up. "What's the use of this shit?" Puck pointed to the ball of paper he had thrown Finn earlier.
"I don't even know why I did it." Finn threw his head back and closed his eyes. "I don't even know why I keep doing anything, man." He made a bitter pause. "It's like Pandora's box opened the day we graduated."
"Dude, I don't know who that Pandora chick is, but if she told you that this was a good idea, she's a total bitch."
Finn just laughed.
"Anyway. Dude, if you don't love her, you can't marry her. That's not right."
"Is it righter to dump her one more time?"
Puck stood up and headed to the first floor. "No. But that's what I came here for."
"Don't go upstairs. Don't tell her anything!"
"Let's end up with this charade." Puck ran upstairs, but Finn tackled him before he reached the seventh step. Both of them fell down. "Dude! You could have killed me! Thank God the mohawk saved me," Puck complained. "And now, if you let me go…"
"No," Finn said while pinning Puck down, gripping his wrists. "Get out, man. This is none of your business!"
Puck rolled his eyes and kicked Finn in his nuts with his knee. "Do you really think you can beat me?" He pushed the tall boy downstairs and resumed his way to Finn's room.
"NO!" Finn shouted climbing the stairs in fours.
But it was too late; Puck opened the door before Finn could have stopped him. He had to blink more than ten times for his brain to process what he was seeing.
"Are you gonna stand like that the whole morning or are you gonna say hello or something to your Auntie Tana?" she said while finishing her make-up.
Puck and his wide open eyes turned to Finn. "I hit my head really hard, right?" He moved his hand to the back of his neck looking for some blood. "No, there's no crack."
"Dude, you can't tell anyone," Finn said awkwardly.
"Nobody would believe him either, so…" Santana added. Then she squeezed Finn's face and then pecked his lips. "See you on Saturday, right?"
Finn just nodded. His face was as white as the paint of the wall. "Yeah, yeah, sure."
"Give me a ride, Puckerman?" Santana asked while walking downstairs.
Puck said yes and followed Santana. He didn't even say goodbye to Finn. Maybe he wasn't feeling like it. Maybe he was too shocked to even wave his hand. He couldn't articulate a word till he climbed into his car. "Seriously, what the fuck are you people playing?"
"Do you really think I've let Finn Hudson occupy Santanaland?" she answered. "Please, Noah, that's the impression you have of me?"
"You've… What the fuck? I don't know how many times I've already said this today. Seriously, what's the hell is going on?" Puck hit the horn in rage.
"Short version: this is Apocalypse Hudson. Rachel didn't say it clearly and she came back to Lima. Finn is stupid, we all know that, he didn't get the hint and proposed to Quinn. Why? You know it? Because I don't. So Berry comes back, nails Blaine…"
"What?!" Puck's face was quite a picture.
"Shut up and let me finish. So she nailed the little mocking bird, Hummel found it out when we both came back from New York and he called his that thing he calls 'brother'. He shows up here with Quinn and a container full of wedding invitations and here we are you and I, trying to stop the marriage of the year instead of letting the universe collapse."
"I still don't get why you've slept with Finn." His not prodigious brain was still struggling to cope with all that information.
"That's all. Sleep together. Brittany took Quinn to her bachelorette party, so I made her little fiancé swim in beer and put him to sleep. Not a big deal."
"So you two didn't do anything?"
"Play soccer. That bastard scored five goals with those freaky feet." Santana pulled her skirt up to her knees, revealing every brush she earned in her special mission. "I'm gonna claim indemnities for physical and psychological damages. Sleep deprivation is a torture technique used in the Middle East, and you don't know how hard it is for a non-deaf human being to spend six hours laying next to someone that snores like a tractor. I was afraid that he was gonna crop my intimate hair."
"And you're doing all this because…?"
"Because Christmas is coming and I need references. I don't know! I'm taking Spanish classes with retarded children, I'm bored! But that's not the point. The point is why you are trying to blow this thing up."
Puck turned the engine on and started driving to Lima Heights, avoiding Santana's question. "Your house hasn't grown legs and moved by itself, right? That would be way more believable than all this crap you're telling me."
"You still love her?!" Santana yelled.
"We're gonna stop this wedding, right?"
That was all Santana needed to know. "We'll make it right, Puckerman." She patted the boy's leg as a sign of support. "What if you take me to the mall? We have to dress appropriate for the event."
"I'm not going!"
"Oh, honey, trust me, you don't want to miss this show."
Short chapter, no song, I'm saving all my energies for The Wedding.
Drawing on the length of this one, I want to thank every single review, fav and follow. I really appreciate it :)
