A/N: Last day of exams J.. i hope u like this.. i didn't though.. again.. :(
BRITTANY'S POV
I caused another drama again. But I can't help it. I almost blurted out my feelings for her. I thought her being nice to me was a good sign and it will erase the guilt I felt because of the horrible thing I did to her but that's not the case right now. Suddenly, I missed her being rude and angry at me because I can't take it when she's this way. She's being too nice and she's making me fall harder and faster.
I managed to slip out of the door that she was blocking. I thought she's going to stop me. A part of me wanted her to but she didn't… which were a good and a hurtful feeling at the same time.
I leaned outside the wall near the door and closed my eyes. My heart is pounding so hard and my legs felt weak. I was trying to compose myself and let the moment sink in within me.
Just then, the door burst open and I saw Santana's head turned at every direction, clearly looking for me. When she saw me not too far away from her, she darted towards me and I, of course, tried to get away from her but she was quick.
"Brittany. Please can we talk?" I was shocked at the tone of her voice. It wasn't what I expected it would be. Her body language says she was enraged but her voice was calm and pleading. "Tell me what I did to make you hate me again. Because I was careful not to piss you off again and here you are mad at me for some reason I don't even know about."
She stared at me with begging eyes which made me feel trapped and at ease at once. I just realized that her eyes were my weakness. And my feelings are automatically over flowing every time she connects that brown orbs with mine. Damn Santana. I'm sorry.
"No. Nothing is wrong. So please can you just go away?" I said quietly. Fighting the hurt I feel for us. This is not an easy situation to be stuck at. It's like a repetitive routine. We fight, we make-up, we fight again… even though I don't know why we do it. It reminded me of a cat and a mouse on television that kept chasing each other but no one was winning.
They just kept hurting each other. Like Santana and me.
I guessed I was spaced out for a while and Santana grew impatient with me being silent. I was brought back to reality when I heard a loud thump beside me. I realized it was Santana's fist connecting to the wall beside me. She freaking punched it.
"Are you enjoying doing this to me? What kind of twisted games are you playing with me Brittany? Because I want none of that! I'm so stupid to even try and make up with you coz…" I grabbed her hands unknowingly. The sight of blood forming in her fist made it hard for me not to care.
I don't like her being this way. It kills me knowing that she can hurt herself. And it even hurts that she's like this because of me.
She was stunned when I took her hand in mine. I pulled out my handkerchief in my pocket and wrapped her bruised hand gently. She didn't fight it off, maybe too overwhelmed at the feeling like I was. Her hands gave off that warmth I haven't felt in a long time. A soothing warmth that reminded me of…
"I'm sorry Santana." I let out, still holding her hand and wrapping the cloth on it. "I was just…"
"What? Please Britt.." The pet name gave me goose bumps but I did my best not to show that it affected me in any way.
"I… Who was that girl you were with…?"
She looked at me puzzled. "What girl…?"
I feel stupid for even asking that question. Who am I really to ask her that? As far as I know, I don't have any right to do anything involving her. Much more to be jealous. But I'm here now. There's no turning back. Might as well continue with this.
"You know, yesterday… near the university." I said not giving too much detail which would be too obvious that I was staring at her for a long time.
Her scrunched up face showed a reaction of enlightenment. I guess she understood what I was talking about. "Oh… That was my cousin. We are really close and she went to that same university before she migrated to Mexico to be with her husband. I haven't seen her in a while so I volunteered to tour her around yesterday."
I felt like a thorn was pulled out off my chest. It inexplicably felt lighter and not to mention happier. The joy was apparently evident on my face because I saw Santana's facial expression changed from being enlightened to a teasing one, with a smirk threatening to show in her lips.
"So that's why you're acting this way? Brittany, could it be that you were jealous?" She asked hiding the tone of amusement on her voice. But she failed.
"No." I said too quickly and defensively. I removed her hands from mine and I pushed myself forward indicating that I want to get out of the position I was in. I started brisk walking away from her and she followed suit.
"Then why are you running away again?" She asked while trying to keep up with me.
"I'm not running away." I was trapped again. I forgot that the hallway I was heading toward to was a dead end.
I looked at Santana standing in the middle of the deserted hallway, arms crossed in her chest. She's giving me this what-now look and I felt she's getting cocky once again, waiting for an answer.
"Look, I just asked because I was curious. Don't get any ideas." I said trying to get out of the situation. But she seemed unconvinced and she was starting to walk towards me.
"Really now? Then why are you acting this way?" She questioned as she moved closer and faster towards me.
I didn't know what to say. I have no excuse. I can't tell her that she was right. I was jealous. She can't know that or she would think that she has a chance on me, which I kept convincing myself that there was none.
"Well?" She's so close now I can't even think straight. My mind was blurry and all I can hear was the sound of my heart rapping on my chest. I hate it when she does this to me. My breath was uneven, waiting for what she's about to do.
She took my hand in hers and muttered, "I love how your hands feel on mine. I wish I can hold it whenever I want." She was now looking at me with those brown eyes which I was starting to fall in love with. I can't help staring back and by doing so, I was paralyzed from where I stood. I just watched her as she shortened the gap between our faces.
She was leaning towards my face and I knew what was coming. I can feel her breath nearing my face and I closed my eyes, anticipating the moment. I have no clue what I was doing and why I am allowing this to happen. But I felt tired of fighting. My need to be with her was taking over me and I just want her to kiss me so I would just accept my feelings.
There's no one to save us right now in this deserted place. And I don't need saving. I want Santana. And she's about to kiss me.
RING. RING.
FUCK!
We both cursed at the same time, Santana loudly, while I did it inside my head. Who the hell would call in such an important time?
Once again, I hid my disappointment but Santana didn't seem to do the same. She pulled out her phone from her pocket violently and glared at the blasted thing.
"W-who is it?" I asked.
"Kurt." She said with hate. "This better be good."
She annoyingly put the phone in her ears and yelled, "WHAT?"
I can hear Kurt's voice through the phone but not clearly. But I know he was speaking so fast I was surprised Santana could understand him.
"Who?" Santana said in gritted teeth through the phone. Her eyes narrowed but after a while, her expression changed to something I've never seen before.
It was a mixture of sadness, shock, excitement, and fear. I never really thought a person could have such feelings at the same time. But there it was. Clearly visible in her eyes. What could Kurt possibly tell her that she would react this way?
"Yeah, just wait. I'm coming." She said quietly, her anger vanishing before my eyes. She looked at me with intense eyes. I have no idea what was happening. Then without warning, she vanished in front of me, practically running to escape the empty hallway.
I was at my desk doing some paper work. I haven't seen Santana the whole day after our encounter near the emergency stair case. I tried looking for her but I didn't dare ask about her to anyone. I just kept my eyes peeled for any sigh of a brunette with tanned skin around the office but to no luck.
I kept replaying the incident in my head. Wondering what would've happened if we kissed right there. Would I be hers? Would she be mine? Would I be able to tell Quinn about us?
So many questions swarmed in my head. I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing.
"Hey you okay?" I heard a voice say. It was Kurt and he sat in front of my desk with confused eyes. "You don't look well."
"I'm okay." I said. Then I had the urge to ask something that I know I shouldn't ask. "Have you seen Attorney Lopez?" I asked cautiously.
Kurt smirked. "You can call her Santana in front of me and no, she hasn't come out of her office yet." He said while staring at the glass door of Santana's office.
"Do you know what happened to her?" I asked again, sensing that Kurt doesn't mind the questions at all. Plus, I know he's the right person to ask. He's the one who called her that time.
"Oh… Actually, I don't know either. I thought you would know though." He said. "I was about to ask you the same question."
What he said puzzled me. "What do you mean I should know?"
He shrugged. "Let's just wait until they come out of the office."
They?
What do you mean they? There's another person with Santana inside her office? Who was that? Maybe it was just her cousin. But I can't shake this feeling that it's not her.
I couldn't concentrate on my work. I just wanted the office door to be open and see the person inside.
After about an hour or so, I'm getting worried and agitated. Who the hell was that and why are they taking such a long time?
Just then the door opened and out came a familiar looking woman from Santana's office. I know that woman. She looked oddly familiar. But she wasn't the cousin from yesterday. The woman's expression was, as I see it, lonely. She headed to the direction of the girl's bathroom and I took this opportunity to check up on Santana.
I peeked inside her office, just enough to see her. I was met with an ugly sight. Santana was crying hard at her table. Her sobs heard across the room from where I am standing. It's a good thing Kurt wasn't here to see this. I know Santana doesn't want anybody to. Including me.
I assumed it was because of that woman. I was positive she made her cry. I thought hard. Where have I seen that woman before?
My eyes widened at the realization. I knew who she was. How can I forget? I will never forget. Maybe it was because of her new hairstyle or she kinda gained weight. And her new set of stylish clothes that blinded me from who she truly was.
My heart was now filled with rage. What was she doing here? Why the hell would she come back and hurt Santana?
I headed to comfort room to follow her and I saw her immediately, standing in front of the mirror fixing her make up.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, not bothering to hide the anger in my voice. She looked at my direction quickly and she stopped applying her cosmetics.
"Excuse me, who are you?" Of course she wouldn't recognize me without the braces and eyeglasses.
"It doesn't matter. What have you done to Santana?" I asked more aggressively.
"Again, who are you? And for the record, I don't owe you any explanation." She said confidently. She irritatedly threw her stuff in her bag and exited the comfort room, leaving me speechless.
I came out of the bathroom 5 minutes later, still in a daze of what transpired through the day. First Santana almost kissed me and then she showed up here. It's madness.
To get to my desk, I'm supposed to pass Santana's office which I did. And what luck do I have coz when I was walking by, it was the same time the two of them emerged from the door.
I met Santana's gaze and she met mine. Her eyes were somewhat puffy but her face wasn't showing any signs of sadness or that she cried earlier. What is going on?
"Is she working here?" I forgot she was also there. I got lost in Santana's eyes once again.
"You two met already?" Santana asked. I felt fear in my chest because I don't want her to assume that's something's going on between Santana and I. That would complicate things more. But of course Santana just had to ruin it by revealing who I was to her.
"Yeah but she didn't tell me her name."
"Don't tell me you don't remember." Santana said lightly, wearing a fake cheerful tone. "But I can't blame you though, I also didn't recognize her the first time I saw her." A pang of guilt swallowed my heart again and I automatically let my head down in shame. I don't want that woman to know what I did. But I guess there's no secret between these two.
"So, let me re-introduce you. Meet Brittany S. Pierce." Santana said as calmly as she could. The moment is so awkward and deadly it's like a ticking time bomb. "And Brittany, of course you remember Sugar."
I gave an awkward tight-lipped smile to give some respect to Sugar. But her reaction was far away from mine. She gasped slightly at the recognition of who I was.
"Brittany? Is that really you? Oh my gosh! You look so pretty and… different!" She exclaimed. I managed to mutter a 'thanks' before I excused myself and made my exit. I felt Santana's eyes on me as I walked away from them.
SANTANA'S POV
"I was frightened earlier you know! The way she looked at me, I thought she's gonna eat me alive!" Sugar relayed animatedly after a sip of juice from her glass.
I smirked at the thought of Brittany doing that and I can't help but feel a little flattered and happy.
"So what's the deal between you two huh? Don't tell me after you're failed relationship with Quinn, you're going for her sister now?" She asked not amused. "That's low of you Lopez."
"Hey! I didn't know okay? I didn't plan for this. And it was your fault my relationship with Quinn was a failure." I defended myself from Sugar's hard hitting questions. She's the only person who can do this to me and the only one I allowed. After all the drama we went through, she's still the only best friend I loved and forever will.
She ignored my dirty comeback about our relationship and just said, "From how I see it, I think she likes you too."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh please, I know that. But she won't admit it. And she kept avoiding me. I'm so freaking tired of chasing her around but I can't seem to stop." I admitted. Again, Sugar is the only person I can tell anything to and not afraid to be judged.
"You are so stupid. It's a good thing Brittany isn't." Sugar said simply. She hasn't stopped stuffing her face with food after our order came. Maybe that's the side effect of being pregnant.
"What do you mean I'm stupid? And could you please just slow down? You're making me afraid to get pregnant." She laughed at my statement and continued eating.
"It's not that bad. And as if you have plans on getting pregnant!" She laughed and ate more. "As for being stupid, it's obvious that she's scared of what would happen if the two of you are going to… uhhh… happen."
The confused expression on my face made Sugar carry on with her explanation. "Oh my god Santana, I thought you were smart. Love really makes you dumb. You haven't changed a bit."
"If you're talking about Quinn, yes I know that! But she can decide on her own! She's a freaking adult now Sugar! I mean what else is stopping her?"
"She's not selfish like you Lopez. Obviously, she cares a lot about Quinn. Coz if she weren't maybe the two of you are reproducing right now without a care in the world."
Behind Sugar's disturbing statement is a whole lot of truth. She's right. I can't be selfish. I can't do that to Brittany. But what else should I do?
I sighed in defeat.
"Okay, stop moping around coz, you know what, this is your lucky day. I, Sugar, you're one and only best friend in the whole world will help you." I shot her a skeptical look. "Trust me on this, San. Just think of it as a payback for when I ditched you all those years. And besides, if this goes well, you're going to worship me."
A/N Part 2: yeah i dunno.. i'm a bit off lately.. it's because of work i guess.. when i'm inspired i don't have anywhere to write on.. :(
thanks for all the reviews! i thought you guys are not liking this anymore..
tell me what u think again..
