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Chapter 47

House stared out his dining room window and watched as the morning light was slowly taking over the darkness. In the distance, dark clouds were beginning to role in, promising another day of rain. He hadn't wanted to get up so early but the pain in his leg had been relentless, forcing him to move around and try to ease the discomfort.

He looked over his shoulder at a sleeping Cameron who was still curled up in front of the fireplace. Memories of their lovemaking were still fresh in his head, her touch still lingered on his skin. He closed his eyes and felt his heart race as he thought about how incredible it had been. She had touched a part of him that no one had ever touched before and it frightened him. He couldn't deny the peace he had felt with her and just thinking about it caused an unbelievable rush.

He took a sip of his coffee, his soul heavy with thoughts and feelings. He knew he couldn't let whatever was developing between them, continue. He didn't want to feel anything for her and he definitely didn't want her to feel anything for him. If this were to go on, it would only result in him breaking her heart… again and that to him, was worse than being alone. At least if he stopped it now, she wouldn't have too much invested.

Coming to a decision of what he had to do, only darkened his mood more. As much as he hated to do this to her, he was also satisfied in proving once again that he was nothing more than a cold, heartless bastard.

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Cameron opened her eyes and at first was a little disoriented. It didn't take long however, for her to remember where she was and what had happened between her and House. Her heart fluttered and her breath quickened as she thought about how he had touched her, bringing her to heights she had never been before.

She felt the coldness surrounding her and immediately knew he wasn't beside her any more. She lifted up slightly and scanned the room. She found him sitting in the dining room with his feet propped up, staring out the window. She could tell he was deep in thought and shuddered at what his thoughts might be of.

She stood and wrapped the blanket around her still naked body and quietly slipped into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. She needed morning ammo inside of her if she was going to confront the force in the other room.

House heard her stir but didn't bother to turn around. He knew she would make her way to him soon enough and he would have to crush her even though he had told her he never would.

Cameron hesitantly walked towards him, preparing herself for the worst but hoping for the best. She walked around the table so she could approach him from the front. The minute she saw his face, she knew it was probably not going to be a good morning. She had seen that face of his many times and it had never meant good news. However, she was still optimistic.

"Hey." She said softly noticing he didn't look at her. She stopped a few feet away, the blanket secured around her and stared out the window. "Looks like it's going to rain again." She said, trying to start some kind of conversation. She sat down in the chair to the side of him, across the table.

House glanced at her. "I see you found the coffee."

"I did. It's good."

He had his hand resting on the table and she boldly reached out and touched it with her fingers, surprised he didn't pull away and she relaxed a little.

House looked at her delicate fingers as she ran them across his hand, hating himself for enjoying her touch.

They sat in silence for what seemed an eternity before Cameron finally spoke. "Want to do anything today?" She asked, giving him the opportunity to let her know what he was thinking.

House swallowed hard and spoke without any emotion. "Not really."

Cameron continued. "We could start with breakfast."

"I don't have anything here to eat."

Cameron noticed he was giving her short answers avoiding any conversation with her.

"We could go out. I'll buy." She let out a little laugh.

"Looks like it could rain soon. Probably wouldn't be wise to take the bike out and I don't really feel like waiting for a taxi. Besides, I'm not really hungry."

"Oh." She said and looked back out the window. Her heart sunk but she didn't want him to see the disappointment in her eyes.

House looked at the side of her face and could see the emotion she was holding back and almost caved. All he wanted to do at that moment was take her into his arms and hold her, make love to her again but he couldn't and wouldn't let himself do that to her.

Cameron could feel the burning sensation as it swelled in her chest. She had so many emotions going through her at the moment. She knew she needed to keep them in tact and not let him break her. She knew there was the possibility he would push her away after last night but she wasn't going to let him take what had happened between them and throw it completely away. Somehow, she managed the courage to broach the subject.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" She asked, facing him again.

House looked deeply into her eyes. "If that's what you want." He said and got up to retrieve another cup of coffee.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Any thoughts about last night?" She asked not daring to ask if he was happy.

He limped back towards her and sat back down in the chair and stared at her again. "Not really. I always enjoy a good fuck." He threw out coldly.

Cameron instantly tensed but controlled the screaming voice in her head. "Well, at least you thought it was good." She managed to say with some amusement in her voice and took a sip of her coffee.

House arched his eyebrow at her comment and gave her a smirk. He had to give it to her. She was trying to play his game but he had no doubt she would lose.

"So, what now? You obviously are having some reservations about last night." She continued with courage.

"And why would you say that?"

"Because of how you are acting."

"And how am I acting?" He asked dancing around the issue, taunting her.

"I don't want to play games House."

"But games are so fun." He said in a mocking tone.

She sighed heavily. "Did you think I was going to expect romance and I love you's after last night?" She said trying to sound as if last night was no big deal.

"That's what you girls do, especially you."

Cameron narrowed her eyes at him. "That's not fair. Why are you doing this?" She asked calmly. She didn't want him to know this conversation was killing her.

Here it comes, he thought. This was what he wanted. He wanted her to try and analyze him so he could end this thing between them.

"Why am I doing what? This is me or don't you remember who I am? I don't feel anything for anyone."

"You felt something last night." She said softly, running her finger in a circle on his table.

House paused. "Lust. I always wondered what it would be like to fuck you."

Cameron knew he was purposely being cruel with his words so he could shut her down but she wasn't ready to throw in the towel yet.

She gave him a hard stare. "Well, now you know."

Silence hung heavy between them for a few minutes neither one taking their eyes off of each other.

"I don't expect you tell me you care about me. So, you can cut the bastard act."

"It's not an act."

"Can't you just admit you enjoyed last night?"

"And give you the satisfaction? I don't think so." He paused. "I thought you already learned your lesson from that school girl crush you had on me."

"I don't have a crush on you any more."

"No. You love me." He said bluntly.

Cameron took a sip of her now cold coffee and wrinkled her nose in disgust at the taste. "I'm not in love with you." She said flatly.

"That's good because you were just the fuck of the week. I slept with Cuddy last week. Who knows who'll be next. I'll probably go back to hookers since there is definitely no ties with them." House said with cruelty.

Cameron froze. "You slept with Lisa?"

House could hear the hurt in her voice and almost regretted telling her.

"I thought she and Wilson were seeing each other?"

"That's before I bopped her."

"You purposely hurt Wilson?"

"That surprises you?"

"I don't believe you would hurt Wilson like that. "

"Goes to show, you don't know me as well as you think you do."

Cameron could feel the walls closing in on her. She knew he could be cruel but she hadn't expected this. She sat in the chair, feeling the weight of his stare on her. She knew he was waiting for her to break down in tears and start screaming at him but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. Somewhere inside, she mustered up enough courage to speak to him again.

"Let's just drop this. I get your point." She paused before continuing. "I think it's best if I go home. It's apparent me being here isn't working."

House shrugged his shoulders. "If that's what you want. What about scary man out there?" He asked, trying not to show he was concerned.

"I can't have someone watching me all the time." She answered. She was scared to be alone but being with House right now, scared her more. "I'll get my things ready and call a cab." She quickly went to the bedroom to gather her things.

House hadn't expected her to just leave but it was probably for the best, he decided.

Cameron did her best to hold back the mountain of emotions building inside of her as she gathered the few things she had brought with her. She glanced at the bed and thought about the two people who, just a short time ago, had laid there and made love to one another and wondered where those two people went because it was evident they weren't here now.

She hurriedly zipped her bag and picked up her cell phone to call for a cab, twenty minute wait she was told. Please hurry, She whispered into the phone. She dressed and pulled her hair back and stared at the fool in the mirror, staring back at her. She walked back into the living room and found House sitting at his piano but he wasn't playing. He was just sitting on the bench, staring at the keys.

She sat her bag down and stared at him. "Do I still have a job?" She asked.

He was surprised at her question. "Do you think that just because we fucked, you would be out of a job?"

Cameron shrugged her shoulders.

"If anything, I would say your job is more secure." He said sarcastically.

Cameron glanced away. She hated him at that moment. "Fine. I will see you tomorrow then." She said and walked out the door to wait for the cab. She no longer could breath the same air he was breathing and had to get out of that room. She didn't care that some monster was watching her, trying to scare her. All she wanted at that moment was to go home and think about how she was going to find the will to continue working for House and accept the fact that she was very much in love with a man who had no intention of ever loving her back.