Note: I changed the rating to 'T' now that I know where it's going/not going.
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Chapter 4 – She Can't be Vulcan, Her Ears are Round
Kirk sauntered up to the bar and seated himself next to the object of his interest. He turned on his most charming grin and said, "I hope you don't mind if I take this seat?" while simultaneously sitting down in it.
At first he almost thought she hadn't heard him, but then she looked up and regarded him with an expression that he found disconcertingly similar to Spock's when reporting sensor data. His smile wavered for half a moment.
"There is no need to request permission. Your choice of seating is unlikely to affect me." she said before returning to whatever she was reading.
Hmmm. This might be more challenging than expected. That was okay, he liked a challenge.
"So, an offer to buy you a drink wouldn't have any effect?" he said with a teasing smile.
"While a polite offer, it is unnecessary. I am drinking water, which Ser Motras provides free of charge." She nodded toward the insectoid bartender, who dipped an antenna in acknowledgement. Her face had not deviated from its original placid expression.
"C'mon, nobody sits at a bar just drinks water. Especially when someone is offering to buy. Name's Jim Kirk by the way." he said offering a hand.
Her only reaction was a slightly elevated eyebrow. "That is an illogical assumption, Mr. Kirk, since clearly that is what I am doing."
The resemblance to his science officer momentarily left Kirk at a loss for words. He glanced over to his officers across the room. They were looking his way, but Spock's head was inclined close to McCoy's and McCoy was giving him an odd look. However, when Leonard noticed Jim looking at them, he grinned and signaled 'Strike One'. Spock was looking, well, considerably more amused than he thought a Vulcan should look.
She had returned to reading her PADD, and Kirk took a moment to scrutinize her ear. No, her ears were clearly, humanly round. This game was not over.
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Back at their table, McCoy was asking "Just how long did you say you've known her?"
"A very long time…since we were children, in fact."
"So, she spent her childhood on Vulcan?"
"Part of it, yes."
"Poor girl."
Spock decided to ignore that. The Captain was getting nowhere, and seemed to be being deliberately obtuse. It was becoming more difficult to suppress an emotion he couldn't quite name, but had seen on the faces of students watching their favorite team pull ahead in a competition. Spock paused to watch the next exchange and translate for McCoy.
" 'Illogical assumption' ", McCoy chuckled, "Damn! She could be related to you!"
Somehow he could not pass up the opening. Spock looked sideways at the Doctor and arched an eyebrow.
"I don't believe I have said anything at all regarding our familial ties."
The stunned look on McCoy's face was too much. Spock had to put eyes forward and re-center. Nyota would be pleased that he was beginning to understand the appeal of this sort of human humor, but he chastised himself that Selina was doing a better job of maintaining discipline than he was.
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"Well, I hope you won't be offended if I order something stronger than water, Miss….?" Kirk said, while signaling to the bartender.
"I do not see why that would provoke any reaction." she said without even looking up.
Yeesh. What was it with hot chicks not sharing their names? Okay. It was time to change tactics.
"So, um, what are you reading?" he asked. "Looks like it must be interesting."
He was rewarded with eye contact – progress!
"It's a treatise on the effect of Galtoisian social dynamics on their system's grain production."
With great effort Jim both maintained a politely interested smile and did not roll his eyes. After growing up in Iowa, grain production was one topic he could avoid for the rest of his life and never miss it. But now it gave him an opening.
He leaned toward her, feigning interest. "You know, I grew up in Iowa. There are probably some similarities, given both localities' focus on grain production."
Now she looked interested. Both eyebrows went up. "Indeed. Do Iowans also undergo periodic gender transition in response to variations in cosmic radiation levels?"
"No, of course not!" Jim exclaimed. Then he recovered his cool. "I mean, no, we don't."
"Then it's unlikely that there is any significant correlation." she said and returned to her reading.
A little way away, only Spock's Vulcan reflexes prevented McCoy from literally falling out of his chair laughing. When he could breathe again, he flashed Jim a hand sign: Strike Two.
to be continued...
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Hadn't meant to drag this out, but I'm having way too much fun.
