23. Roz

"Five, six, seven… Oh my God! How could you have won a national championship?! I haven't even told you to start and that boy is already on the floor!" she said while Rory tried to stand up.

Will Schuester asked bronze-medal winner Roz Washington to help his kids with their dance moves for the closing number on Sectionals. The choreography wasn't extremely complex, the only problem was that the boys' steps were kind of desynchronized. And who could solve that problem better than a synchronized swimmer awarded in the Olympics? Well… maybe someone with tact.

"I don't want you to make me lose my precious time or hear your excuses, basically because I know I wouldn't understand them. So next time you come to class drunk, I'll have you expelled!" Roz finished blowing her whistle.

"Mr. Shue? A word?" Rachel took Will to the backstage. "Mr. Shue, first of all, let me say that I love challenges and you know it, that's why I got into NYADA and I haven't attended one class yet. But I made it, that's what matters. But… are you sure having Coach Washington training people out of the water is a good idea? I mean, backflips and aqua gym are okay in a pool, really visual, but… we are talking about Coldplay…"

Will couldn't deny that Roz's methods were not comparable to Sue's. Both of them were winners, but Mrs. Washington was out of her element. "Rachel, we were very lucky last year on Nationals because the judges didn't give our sync mistakes too much importance…"

"What?!" Rachel interrupted the teacher. "There were no mistakes or failures or nothing at all. We were sublime!"

"Rachel, it's Wednesday and we still have to find the twelfth member. And I don't have enough time to listen to you. I'm sorry, but… just go back to rehearse."

Will walked out of the auditorium, almost running. He was overwhelmed. Sectionals, the wedding, History classes… And he wasn't a teen anymore, so all his efforts were starting to leave its mark on his health.

When Rachel returned to the group, she found a Roz Washington out of herself. "Where do you think you were going, Little Missy Sweaters?"

"Actually, I'm already back…"

"I don't know and I don't care either. Have you ever seen any of my boys getting out of the pool without my permission? No! Because there are frayed wires all along the edge and I have the key to turn the power off!"

"Actually, Coach," Blaine stepped forward in Rachel's defense, "I don't think we really need to do moves like 'the stuffed duck' to win a Sectionals tournament. I can tell you, I've won three of them."

Roz slapped Blaine with the medal she always carried hanging from her neck, but not hard enough to make one of his molars fly out of his mouth.

"I can't defend violence, but I won't lie by saying that eventually someone needed to shut that boy up," Sue said while walking into the stage. "Barbra Streisand, Barry Gibb, I'll take it from here, you can resume your sexual activities in either of your houses or deal with the pink elephant in the room. And I don't mean one of your rooms where I presume you traumatize your stuffed animals, no, I mean this room, this auditorium, because that gigantic pink elephant is a metaphor for your homosexuality," she pointed at Blaine, "in case all those show tunes and Katy Perry's songs finally melt your brains down."

Rory leaned down and whispered into Sugar's ear, "yesterday Finn sang a love song to Rachel and she cried."

"Good boy," she answered while petting his hair. "But in this country we have social networks to spread this kind of news, you don't have to wait to tell me until it's all over Facebook."

Roz turned to face Sue. "What are you doing here, Eve? This is my rehearsal."

"This is the 21st century; nobody keeps using biblical references anymore, except from that kid with the dreadlocks over there. I just came to do my daily stigma check on the aforementioned kids." Sue walked towards Joe and took his hands, looking at his palms. "Okay." She patted his shoulder twice before returning to Roz. "But the main purpose of my visit is that I can't concentrate with the bellowing of New Directions towards the Bottom of the Sea/The Place Where You All Belong. Is that your new name, right? Oh! Silly me! That's why you're here, isn't it? To teach this bunch of dolphin food how to swim down to the Little Mermaid's castle. Then go on, please, don't let me interrupt you. And I said 'dolphin food' because that would be the only lame enough fish that would eat you, in case all those show tunes and Katy Perry's songs finally melt your brains down."

"You've already said that pun," Tina pointed out.

"And you've been publically ridiculed, physically assaulted and constantly reviled for the last four years and you still don't get that nobody cares about your deviant melodies and your irrelevant teen dramas.

Roz frowned. "No, seriously, you just came here to mock on me and the kids?"

"You're welcome." Sue walked out of the auditorium with a big smile of satisfaction on her face.

The other coach followed her, yelling an indescribable gibberish that some people would define as only audible under the water. But any other person with an ordinary IQ would be pretty sure that it was mostly allusions to Sue's age, her marital status and her unborn child's sand percent.

"Talking about big pink elephants…" Sebastian said while leaning on Blaine's shoulder.

Artie intervened, "Mrs. Sylvester said 'gigantic', actually."

"Yay! Gaytervention!" Sugar shouted as she raised her hand up. "Love it. Love it. Totally love it."

Blaine started waving his hand and shaking his head. "Okay, I'm so out of here."

Sebastian followed him on his way out. "Hey, it's been a while since the last time we had a talk. Are you okay?"

"Not in the mood for a false friendship, Sebastian, but I appreciate it."

Both of them went to the closest bathroom as the group sat down on the steps of the stage. Santana came closer to Rachel, talking to her really low, "what did you do to Frodo? He looks like an Adele song."

"Powerful and Grammy-worthy?" Rachel replied with a frown.

"Not recommendable for people with suicidal tendencies. But what happened between you two?! He looks more… well… that, adelesque."

Rachel grabbed Santana by her hand and took her up to the back of the auditorium. "Where are you going?! This is a rehearsal!" Tina said from the stage.

"Oh, please, sing a solo while nobody is listening, it's your moment in time," Santana shooed while walking up the stairs. "I'm trying to deal with Berry's shameful sexual life, Brittany's dramatic break-up and my own pathetic road to hell. So, if you don't mind minding your own business, if you have it, obviously, you'd be doing a great favor to mankind."

"I hate you two so much!" Tina started having one of her tantrums.

Rachel and Santana took a seat in the last row of the April Rhodes Civil Pavilion. "Last night Blaine came to my house and declared his true love to me. That's it. I've said it."

"That's all? He arrived, said 'I love you, bye' and went back home?"

"No. We… cried for like two hours and then he went back home."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Will you two ever say clearly where the fuck you are and what the fuck are you gonna do with your obnoxious relationship?"

"It's not that easy, Santana."

"Yes, it is. You've created a little vampire. You've bit him and you've killed him. He's dead. Rotting six feet under. And now you have to let him feed on you to complete the transformation."

Rachel half-closed her eyes. "I don't think that's the way it goes. And, by the way, this is your worst metaphor ever."

"I know, last night I had a Vampire Diaries marathon and I am not still clear what's going on between the hot brother and Bella." Santana shot her eyes wide open when she realized what she had just said. "God, I have to fix things with Britts immediately."

"Finn appeared in the middle of our pity party and sang. To me."

"Oh, duh! I don't think he would have sung to your gay pet." Suddenly, Santana retched. "Oh. Oh. Oh! God! Take that image out of my head. Little Blaine being crushed under 200 pounds of tall obese teen." After a short silence, she finished her reply. "Oh, yes, that. Now I get it. We were trying to re-establish the natural order of cosmos, but you don't how to break it to our mockingbird, right?"

"But what if Blaine loves me the way I need to be loved?"

"Does the word 'gay' mean anything to you?"


"What if I'm not as gay as I thought?" Blaine and Sebastian were having the exact same conversation, but… with a slight difference of perspective.

"Why can't anybody stick to their own kind?! Did you learn anything from West Side Story?!" Sebastian answered Blaine.

"Because nobody ever asked me who I was."


"We all give for granted that he's gay because he wears…"

"Like Kurt?" Santana finished Rachel's sentence. "And isn't that a big neon light saying 'Boys only' over his head?"

"Can't he be just confused?"


"Confused?!" Sebastian shouted. "How many years have you spent being gay?"

"Since I was 11."

"And your best idea when you're 17 is changing your sexual orientation because of a girl who's a female version of your first big love? It sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me."

Blaine slid down the tiled wall of the bathroom, putting his head between his knees. "All my life I've been thinking that I could only fall for guys just because I didn't even give it a second thought when I was supposed to."


"What did he say when you finished dating the first time?" Santana asked inquisitorial.

Rachel sighed. "100% gay."

"Then what's the big deal?!"


"I might have spent the last few years lying to myself because it was easier than facing the truth."


"Maybe… I should face the truth… Brad!" Rachel called.

Santana freaked out when she saw the piano man in front of her face. "What the what?! Really?"

"He's like Beetlejuice, but you only have to call him once."


Blaine, Rachel and their water-filled eyes met on the stage, once Santana and Sebastian managed to take everybody out. Except for Brad, obviously. They were standing on the center of the stage, holding hands. Except for Brad, who was at the piano, obviously again, not holding hands with the kids.

"I've made up my mind," Blaine started talking. "And I…"

Rachel shut him up with a quick kiss right before she clicked her fingers in order that Brad would start playing the song.

[Make you feel my love – Adele]

"Thanks. For everything," she said before beginning, already with a tear running down her cheek.

Rachel:
When the rain is blowing in your face
and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears,

Blaine smiled as Rachel wiped his face off with her thumb.

Rachel:
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.

Blaine and Rachel:
I've known it from the moment that we met.

He tried to join Rachel, but his voice broke after that verse.

Rachel:
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue.
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.

On the edge of the breakdown once again, both of them hugged and started dancing slowly while singing in each other's ears. "Damn lavender," Blaine thought spilling one more tear on Rachel's shoulder.

Blaine and Rachel:
The storms are raging on the rolling sea

Rachel:
and on the highway of regret.

Blaine and Rachel:
The winds of change are blowing wild and free.

Rachel:
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
to make you feel my love.

Rachel pulled back slowly, still holding Blaine's hands.

Rachel:
To make you feel my love.

"I don't want to have you hanging on for me. I know you love me. And you don't know how much it does make me love you too." Rachel noticed Blaine's disappointment on his face and squeezed his hands harder. "But in spite of your… in spite of who you are, I have to let you go."

Blaine chuckled at Rachel's words.

"What's so funny?!" she asked kind of confused, but laughing as well.

"You're Finning me!" Blaine Anderson chose to take the high road with that chuckle and stop struggling against fate. What was the use of forcing things with her? He decided to smile instead of keeping crying and crawling around Rachel. He did it right. His withdrawal was the only exit from the vicious circle of Rachel Berry's love life without dashing their friendship in the attempt.

"Superb! Simply superb!" a voice said while walking down the steps of the auditorium to the stage. "I would have joined you, but I think I've already had an epic entrance while you were having an Adele solo." The man held out his hand to Blaine. "Jesse St. James, I think we haven't met face to face."