The couple of days I spent out on my own was spilt. The first day I actually hunted and for the first time ever I hunted a predator, I actually sought out a grizzly bear and without too much fuss (or agitating it like Emmett does) I took it down.

But the rest of my "holiday" I spent on the shoreline, not far from Ozette Lake. Just sitting on the beach and listening to the waves crash on the rocky shore and staring out at the Pacific Ocean.

I've always been fascinated by the ocean, ever since my first outing to beach at Cornwall when I was five or six. I remember the water was cold, body numbing cold, but once you got used to it…it was still bloody cold.

But at least then I was able to feel the cold and then feel the warmth as my mother wrapped me up in a towel, scolding me for going to far in the water. The older I grew, the more my parents trusted me to go deeper and further out, usually to the point where I could no longer touch the bottom and swam happily around.

I especially loved being underwater, I couldn't see what was under the waves, but the feeling of being enclosed by the water was there and I loved it. Floating underwater for as long as my breath would allow me, simply in suspended animation free and tumbling with the waves. It's a good feeling and it's a comforting feeling.

I kicked my shoes off and slowly edged myself to the water, the tide was coming in, and within the hour the entire cove would be underwater, the water was lapping at my feet, calling and enticing me to dare stick my toe in the cold Pacific water.

I allowed the water to finally hit my foot and sighed as I simply felt the water spraying my feet and splashing me in the face. I did not feel the cold water, not that I was surprised, you get used to the constant cold body temperature and not feeling anything warm or especially cold, you simply feel the constant cold.

I looked at my watch and sighed again, I had promised Esme I wouldn't be gone to long and I knew I should be heading back home, before Alice rearranged my room again. But…the temptation of the water was to great, the chance to be in the water, to go beneath it and stay for as long as I wanted.

The call was to much, I slipped off my watch and my crest and hung them on a hanging root. I couldn't be gone for long, else the tide would come up and swallow my belongings, the watch was replaceable and would simply be an annoyance to replace, but the crest is more special and not so easily replaced, I would never forgive myself if I lost the special charm to the sea and had to face my parents to ask them to replace it.

I chewed my bottom lip for a second, before taking the charm and slipping it back over my head, hoping that the salty sea would not damage it too badly.

With that final thought, I slid into the water. Despite our body's resembling granite, I did not sink as quickly as I expected. I didn't force myself to sink faster nor did I try to stop it, I just allowed myself to sink beneath the waves.

At this particular cove, there's a drop off about five feet from the rocks I had been sitting on. Right before the drop off is a cliff like sand bar. Someone of Emmett's height would still be able to see, but the waterline would be at his eye line. So for me, I would have to tread water to keep my head above it.

But I didn't tread water…I sunk. My cotton trousers and wool jumper billowed as I sunk deeper and deeper, at one point my jumper went up over my face, but I didn't move, I just allowed my body to sink deeper, until my rear hit the bottom. I half expected to float back to the top, but my granite like body kept me grounded.

I struggled for a second or two to convince my eyes to open. I had opened them once in the salt water as a young child, and had regretted it INSTANTLY and swore never to try it again. But I wanted to see what was beneath the waves I knew my eyes wouldn't sting, it just took a little convincing.

It was darker than I expected, but my super human senses allowed me to see more clearly than a human would.

All the times I had been doing this as a kid was weak compared to the feeling that I got from this experience. I felt comfortable…no I felt at peace, like there was nothing going on that could break this harmony.

The sounds of the ocean and the waves crashing above my head as the current pushed me around it was relaxing I tried to will myself to forget everything around me, everything above the ocean…from what I had gone through this past year with school, to what was going on at home with the infiltration of Alice and Jasper, to a more important subject…the past decade…I had been a vampire almost a full decade. The war had been over for nearly five years and I had last seen my mother ten years ago.

Ok so maybe I wasn't forgetting everything, I was simply allowing those memories to surround me, engulf me, but even those sad memories could not break the peacefulness I felt below the waves.

And yet…I hadn't changed much, aside from the obvious fact that Esme was quickly breaking down my barriers. For the first time since England declared war on Germany, I was beginning to remember what it meant to empathize and care for another being, and I welcomed it, I actually didn't mind it. Sure I had cared for my real parents and for my friends, but unless you're faced with total destruction right in front of you its really tough to explain how you can care and not care for someone at the same exact time.

The funny thing was, I was beginning to really care for Alice. Jasper still frightened me, but Alice…Alice was not someone to be frightened of, she was someone to pity and protect. I was feeling the same thing for Alice that I felt for Rosalie, who can protect herself just fine, but as the brother it was my duty to look after my sister, and that was especially true for Alice, someone who had no memory of something I had come to take for granted, family.

Despite leaving my real family for my adoptive family, there had been no sliver of time where I was not a part of a family.

I have memories my entire family and hold onto those memories with an iron fist. But what did Alice have? Besides Jasper she had the memory of waking up in a glade after the painful and frightening experience of becoming a vampire.

I remember how scared I was when I first woke up, learning what had just happened to me, and I had been forewarned about it, she had not, at least not that she remembered. She had joined our family in the hopes of having something she had no memories of and I for one had no business interfering with that. She wanted family, she wanted connections and something to call her own. Sure I was going to have to get her to STAY away from my stuff and to stop rearranging it, but still.

The minutes passed, it was getting darker under the sea and increasingly more difficult to see further than a few feet. I knew eventually I would have to cave and return to the surface, I could hold my breath indefinitely if I wanted to and believe me, I wanted to. But I had my family to think about I had to return to them, and face the wrath of Rosalie for my clothes getting soaked.

Sighing, I stood up and gave myself a good kick start to return to the surface. I treaded water for a few seconds getting my bearings before swimming back to the outcropping of rocks, where my shoes and watch were waiting. I hoisted myself out of the water and glanced at my watch as I was putting it on…I had been under water for nearly an hour and had surfaced just in time.

Then the thought hit me, I had been under the water for an hour without having to resurface for air, a grin swept across my face, I could complain about my vampire life all I wanted, but what I had just done more than made up for it, that had been bloody brilliant and I promised myself I would have to do it again soon…I had just found my own way to relax.


A/N: Short chapter I know and I apologize, but it seemed like a good point to end that chapter I just didnt realize how short the thing was there will be the 6th chapter up and a word of warning at the end of it, but I have something to cover first off.

The common review theme from last chapter was the reaction to Alice and her changing the house around. I would've felt the same way as Chris had someone done that to my room, but before Alice becomes the enemy of the people, it didnt make its way into the fic, but Esme was planning on changing the house around anyways, get it ready for summer. Alice just happened to show up when she planned on doing that and gave Esme a partner in crime to carry out the deed. Alice did kind of go overboard but hey its Alice we know how she does things, remember Bella's birthday, graduation party, the WEDDING? Lol. Alice didnt see it as being invasive, but trying to do something nice and since the change grows on everyone, she didnt "see" a future of problems regarding it. Even Rosalie admires the changes, but forget it if she admits it. Anyways had to get that out of the way. Next chapter up!