Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does -insert witty comment here-
A/N: So last week I decided to post a question, "If Jacob Black climbed up willow tree next to your house, what would you say?" and let me tell you something, THAT was probably the funniest batch of reviews I've EVER gotten.
This weeks winner is... -drumroll please- REGENCYGIRL13!
Here's her review:
"..and to answer your question...'Look,
your gorgeous and all, and the wolf thing is sexy, but you can't go stalking
young girls outside your window. I'm gonna have to call the cops.'
'...And if I took off my shirt?'
'...we'll discuss the negotiations.'"
Genuis? I think so. So, this chapter is dedicated to Regencygirl13 because her review was the coolest and to Alex because her review made me PMP (a subsitute to LQTM) PEE MY PANTS! (and 'cause she's my BFFYBAAOPOYASMTBL)
HA! Take that Demetri Martin!
ENJOY!
Jacob
"Are you sure they'll like me?" Renesmee pressed. I laughed at her expression and took her shaking hand in mine. She sighed nervously and I rolled my eyes internally. If anyone should be nervous it's me.
"They don't have a reason not to." I smiled. Renesmee groaned and slid down into the passengers seat of her Volvo. I was surprised she trusted me with her prized Volvo, especially when I ran that red light…
"What if they hate me?" Renesmee whined.
"They're going to love you, I promise." I placated her and she shook her head, sighing heavily.
"You don't know that." She mumbled.
"I know that I love you, isn't that all that matters?" I rubbed my thumb along the side of her hand soothingly and she sighed.
"What if they hate me and they won't let you see me anymore?" She complained.
"Then I'll move out." I retorted.
"Really?" Renesmee asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Yup. I'll just live in the Rabbit." I shrugged and Renesmee snorted.
"Sure." She smiled, I was just glad I got her to smile. I had promised Renesmee I would get her to meet my family this weekend, I had no idea she would actually follow through with it. At first she was excited and happy, jumping up and down so much I could barely press my lips against hers when I'd picked her up this morning. She was nervous more than she had any reason to be. It was my family I was trying to impress. I wanted them to know that I was finally growing up, and Renesmee was a big part of that.
The drive wasn't long but it sure wasn't short. I played the radio softly in the background and Renesmee breathed erratically in the passenger's seat. Every once in a while she would groan. Loud and annoying to the point where I wanted to swerve off the side of the road and kill us both. She was being absolutely ridiculous.
As we passed La Push Ocean View Drive Renesmee looked out at the water and sighed. I concentrated on the road, careful not to swerve and fall off the rail-less road.
"How long do you think it'll last?" Renesmee asked, a little more calm this time. I shook my head and smiled to myself, only Renesmee would ask that kind of question.
"Not long Ness, chill, I promise you'll be fine." I held her hand again and the car shook a little.
"Pay attention." She scolded playfully. I put both hands on the steering wheel and Renesmee snaked her arm through the loop near the crease in my elbow, putting her head on my shoulder. She kissed the side of my neck and I almost swerved again. I'm sure she didn't know how much she was distracting me. She smelled like oranges and vanilla ice cream, as creepy as that sounds. I loved everything about her, it would be my downfall, how much I loved this girl, I swear.
As the road ended I pulled into the driveway of my house and Renesmee gasped, "Your house is huge."
"Yeah, I know." I mumbled. Renesmee blinked rapidly before I got out. "C'mon." I motioned outside of the car and Renesmee shook her head. I walked over to her door and opened it. "Ness, c'mon. The sooner you get it over with, the better." I assured her.
"I don't want to." She crossed her arms, knowing that I hated that more than anything, and pouted. It only made me angry when Renesmee crossed her arms because it was so stubborn and recalcitrant, it reminded me of my mom.
"Why not?" I argued.
"Because I know your family wont like me. You have this enormous house and this rich family and I'm nothing like that." Renesmee complained and I rolled my eyes, crouching in font of the door so our eyes could meet.
"Stop working yourself up for nothing." I put my hand on the side of Renesmee's neck and she sighed, thudding her head back against the seat. I stood up and kissed Renesmee on the lips. She sighed and I held my hand out for her to take. "C'mon." I motioned for her to follow me and she put her hand in mine. I walked her up to the front door after closing and locking the car and knocked lightly on the door.
Rebecca answered with Rachel close behind her, panting and breathing down each other's neck.
"Hey, I'm Rebecca." Rebecca smiled, overwhelming and in-your face, just like she always is.
"And I'm Rachel." Rachel piped up. I sighed and moved Renesmee in front of me, holding her by her waist.
"You must be Renesmee." Rebecca held her hand out and Renesmee held hers out slowly. Rebecca snatched Renesmee's hand up and shook it, moving Renesmee with her.
"We've heard all about you." Rachel smiled, flashing all of her teeth.
"Jacob hasn't stopped giving us rules since we walked through the door yesterday." Rebecca winked at me and I sighed heavily. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be.
"He told us not to touch you." Rachel snapped.
"Or to call you anything but Renesmee." Rebecca wrinkled her nose and I sighed. Renesmee was probably horrified already.
"He told me not to touch you either." Renesmee said dryly. Rebecca and Rachel cracked up, cackling and snorting until they couldn't breathe.
"Jakey, you didn't tell us she was so funny." Rachel snickered.
"Jakey?" Renesmee looked around to meet my eyes and pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. I just nodded slowly.
"Oh, he hasn't told you?" Rebecca smirked evilly and I shook my head.
"Told me what? "Renesmee asked, completely clueless.
"The name our mom used to call him." Rachel finished Rebecca's evil thought.
"Don't." I warned but Rebecca opened her big, pink lipstick mouth and blurted it out in a sing-song voice with Rachel at the same time.
"JAKEY BEAR!" They screeched. I put my hand over my face and Renesmee snorted.
"Can we please go inside?" I sighed and Rebecca stuck her tongue out at me. Rachel grabbed Renesmee's left hand and Rebecca grabbed Renesmee's right hand. They skipped off, taking Renesmee somewhere else and I sighed.
I walked into the kitchen where Rachel and Rebecca had seated Renesmee at the table, sitting on either side of her. "Where's dad?" I asked impatiently.
"Right here." My father answered from behind me and I jumped a bit. "You must be Renesmee." Billy smiled warmly and Renesmee nodded, getting up as Billy held his hand out for Renesmee to shake.
"Nice to meet you Mr. Black." Renesmee said softly and I almost laughed at her fearful expression.
"You're just as pretty as Jacob says you are." Billy winked and Renesmee blushed, smiling shyly. I mentally cursed out my father for making a move on my girlfriend just as Marco, our man-maid, came walking around the corner.
"Lunch is served in the dinning room, Mr. Black." He bowed slightly and Billy nodded.
"Very well then, come along Rachel, Rebecca." Billy put his arm around Renesmee's waist and led her into the dinning room. She looked back at me and I winked reassuringly. Rachel and Rebecca sat on the right side of the table, Billy at the head of the table, and Renesmee and I next to one another at the opposite side of my annoying sisters.
"I hope you like squash." Billy smiled and Renesmee smiled back as best as possible to my -suddenly- very creepy father. "So Renesmee, what does your father do?"
"Dad!" I muttered incredulously. I couldn't believe how petty my father was being in front of Renesmee.
"It's okay Jake," Renesmee put her hand on my arm and I sat back in my chair. Rebecca made a mock kissing face across the table and I kicked her leg under the table. She winced and grimaced before regaining her composure and crossing her arms. "He works as an EMT for the Forks Emergency Room." Renesmee answered.
"Oh, and your mother?" Billy asked, motioning for Marco to bring in the water.
"She works as a wedding planner." Renesmee smiled sweet and good natured, which my father definitely did not deserve.
"That's nice. Jacob's mother use to be a wedding planner, may she rest in peace." Billy sighed and Renesmee's face softened.
"I'm sorry." Renesmee said softly.
"It's getting easier. Before it was sad, just Jacob and I, but now… it's getting happier, if you will." Billy closed his eyes for a moment and Renesmee sighed.
"I know what it's like. I lost my grandfather, Charlie, to brain cancer." Renesmee said softly.
"We lost our mom to leukemia." Rachel said softly. Renesmee hung her head and sighed.
"It's hard, but time heals all wounds." Billy all but whispered. Marco brought in squash soup and handed it to us one by one. "Let's eat." Billy smiled wistfully and Renesmee nodded. Everyone ate in comfortable silence, there was casual conversation throughout lunch, but, -for the most part- it was nice and quiet. I held Renesmee's hand under the table when she was staring deep into her soup, her eyebrows knitted together. She smiled to herself when our fingers laced within each other and I did too.
After lunch, Marco cleared the table and Rachel and Rebecca sat down with my dad at the fireplace and talked for a while. I took Renesmee up to my room and she liked it, I think. She laughed at the picture of the guys and I when we were all around ten. It was set in a regular, square frame on my nightstand. We were all posing, straining to prove we had some kind of muscle, flexing what we didn't have… then.
After a while of talking, Renesmee and I walked out to the backyard and put our feet in the pool. Renesmee put her head on my shoulder and I put my head on hers.
"Your family loves you, even if you don't think they do." She said softly.
"Yeah, it's just hard to believe sometimes." I sighed. She laughed lightly at that and shook her head.
"I love you, even if you don't think I do." Renesmee smiled. I held her hand and mine and turned my head to look at her in the eyes. I stared at her for a second before pressing my lips against hers and putting my other hand on the side of her neck.
"Aw!" Two distinctly whiny voices cooed from the outside sliding door. Renesmee pulled back and flushed a delicate pink. Rachel laughed and Rebecca smiled.
"We're leaving now, dad's going to drop us off at the airport." Rebecca smiled endearingly. It seemed like only yesterday my sisters arrived and today, they were leaving. I guess I loved my sisters, but then again, I have to.
"Oh, okay." I mumbled and hopped to my feet, holding Renesmee's elbow to balance her as she stood up as well.
"Bye Renesmee." Rachel smiled warmly and grasped her in a tight hug. "It was so nice meeting one of Jacob's girlfriends… with clothes on." She added sarcastically.
"See you around Renesmee, you're a really sweet girl. I hope Jacob keeps you around." Rebecca winked and hugged Renesmee as well.
"Bye Jakey." Rachel smiled that evil grin again and hugged me tighter than she did on Friday when my dad and I picked them up from the airport.
"Until next time, little brother." Rebecca hugged me as well before Billy popped his head out of the sliding door.
"C'mon ladies, you have a flight to catch." Billy smiled impatiently.
"Bye Jake, Renesmee." Rebecca and Rachel waved once more before walking up into the house with my dad. Renesmee sighed and hung her head.
"I'm glad that's over." Renesmee laughed quietly.
"I still have to meet your family." I kissed her forehead once I heard the garage door close.
"Oh no, that's okay." Renesmee shook her head and I laughed at her expression.
"What you don't want them to meet me?" I asked, pretending to be hurt. Renesmee rolled her eyes and stared at me.
"I don't want you to meet them." Renesmee sighed. I kissed her cheek and she smiled.
"They can't be that bad." I held her at her waist and she shook her head, placing her forehead on my chest, carefully avoiding my stitches.
"Trust me, they can." Renesmee mumbled. I kissed the top of her head and she groaned. "I have to be home before six." Renesmee mumbled softly. I sighed and held Renesmee at an arm's length, digging into my pocket for my phone.
"It's five forty-five." I sighed.
"Oh, we'd better get going then." Renesmee pouted and I smiled, just watching her. It was hard to believe everything we've been through so far.
"C'mon." I held my hand out and Renesmee took it eagerly. I led Renesmee out to the car and leaned into the passenger side door. "You did really well today. They love you, I can tell." I smiled and kissed Renesmee, my lips probing against hers.
"I guess I worked myself up for nothing, huh?" Renesmee whispered weakly after I released my lips from hers.
"Definitely." I whispered and kissed Renesmee again, running my tongue along the bottom of her lip. When Renesmee put her hands on my chest and pushed me back I smiled possessively.
"C'mon, if I'm late my parents will never let me out again." Renesmee said reluctantly.
"Alright, alright." I groaned and closed her door, walking around and sitting in the driver's seat, closing the door behind me. "Back to the castle for the princess." I smiled sarcastically.
"Yeah, back to the castle before the dragon kills the princess's knight." Renesmee sighed and put her head against the head rest.
"I'm no knight, trust me." I mumbled and Renesmee rolled her eyes.
"You are to me." Renesmee said softly and I smiled. Renesmee twined her hand within mine as I pulled out of the driveway. Then I drove my princess back to her castle, afraid of the wrath of the deadly dragon, laying deep inside the castle's crevices.
A/N: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YES, YES I DID! I PUT A CHEESY PRINCESS LINE IN THERE BUT YOU KNOW YOU LIKED IT!
Thanks again to all my homies and to my review-ers.
Question of the week: What embarrassing nickname has your mom/dad/grandma/granpa/legal gaurdian given you? (Mine is Gabster the Hamster... thanks Mom.)
REVIEW! 15! YOU KNOW THE DRILL!
