Chapter 14 - Female Bonding Rituals
Spock was absorbed in reviewing an article when Kirk and McCoy sat down at his table in the mess hall. "So," Kirk said, "No lunch date today, huh?"
"Lt. Uhura and Ms. Chandri are still engaged in their 'female bonding ritual'. I was advised not to expect them for lunch."
"You seem remarkably relaxed for a guy whose ears ought to be burning," McCoy drawled.
Spock's head tilted slightly to one side. "I fail to see why my ears would be experiencing such a sensation."
"He means those two are probably talking about you and a normal guy would be a little nervous knowing his girlfriend was spending the day with someone who had witnessed him judging a wet t-shirt contest."
Spock glanced away, as if looking for strength. "I did not judge such a contest."
"Really?" Kirk prodded. "So what exactly did you do there?"
He raised one eyebrow. "Surely you do not expect such a crude attempt at interrogation to elicit information?"
"Fine," Kirk said. "How about some other information? Could you at least tell me how you were so completely certain I was going to strike out with your friend?"
He shrugged slightly. "You were attempting to pick her up at a bar."
"Yes. So?"
Spock paused as though considering how to explain an obvious concept to a particularly dim cadet. "You are aware that her appearance generally exceeds normal parameters for human attractiveness?"
Kirk and McCoy exchanged a glance, not quite sure what to do with that question. "Yes. I think that's pretty obvious to us," McCoy replied. "I'm just a bit surprised that you're actually aware of it."
"I did not say that I found her attractive, Doctor. However, I have on numerous occasions observed the effect she can have, particularly on human males." He looked pointedly at each of them.
"So you're saying what?" Kirk asked. "That she's out of my league?"
The look on Spock's face seemed to imply that that was a given, but he did not voice it. "My point" he continued, "is that she has been subject to a rather large number of such advances. She once told me she could hardly study in the university library without being interrupted by men who were clearly not interested in her academic pursuits. Consequently, she finds such things ...irritating. Although it is somewhat restrained by Vulcan training, she has a temperament that does not tend to respond kindly to irritants."
"So she doesn't suffer fools gladly," McCoy chuckled, "and Jim, you can be a fool!"
"If she wanted to be left alone, why was sitting at the bar?" Kirk asked, a bit irritated himself.
"Do you believe she should have to cloister herself to avoid such advances?" Spock's eyebrows met his hairline. "I believe she tired of that after her first semester. And the bar in this case offered company she enjoys."
"What? She got to like to hanging out with bar tenders after spending the summer with you?"
"Coeleopts!" McCoy interrupted. "The bar tender is a Coeleopt - she gives off a field that damps telepathic reception. Selina didn't have to maintain her shields so much as long as she sat near her."
"Very perceptive, Doctor."
"So she spent a summer chasing off your fan club, and I'm guessing it didn't take long for her to have a considerable fan club of her own. So she used it to hone her skills at thwarting unwanted advances," McCoy ventured. "With the added advantage that she had a sort of built-in bodyguard with you there."
"I believe I was able to at least partially repay her for her help. Indeed, I think she made a bit of a game of it, scoring players on style, approach and technique." He looked over at Kirk. "Most scored so low, she once questioned how the species managed to continue."
"Okay," Kirk said, "so I guess I don't want to ask my score."
"The phrase 'abysmally low' does come to mind." Spock observed, once edge of his mouth twitching slightly upward.
McCoy slapped the table and laughed. He if wasn't careful, he was going to start liking the green-blooded hobgoblin after all.
.
Nyota had been wandering through the shops on the station's second level with Selina for an enjoyable hour or so. It was always more fun to have someone to shop with. They had enjoyed trying on clothes together, although it was clear the difference in height and build dictated different styles for each of them. But her companion had excellent taste and had pointed out some lovely items Nyota had missed on her first shopping trip. She in turn had found a set of golden hair combs set with firestones that would go well with Selina's dress for the evening.
They had kept the conversation light. Selina shared some amusing stories about her experiences in the diplomatic corps. She had been carefully discrete about the players, but Nyota couldn't help thinking that if she ever needed dirt on an ambassador, she would know just who to call.
She in turn told Selina some tidbits about other members of the crew that she knew Spock would never think explain. Selina had been quite amused that McCoy was afraid of flying, and at the ongoing debate between Chekov and Scotty concerning the superiority of vodka vs. scotch.
"If trying to pry information out him were not such good practice for my job, I would give up on staying in touch in Spock, and just contact you directly!" Selina grinned wickedly. "I am deeply tempted to send each of those gentlemen a bottle of sake and sign Spock's name."
"Sake?"
She wore a smug smile. "I grew tired of his complaint about human alcoholic beverages being unpleasant, so one day I served him warm sake and told him it was sort of rice tea that I thought he might enjoy."
"Really?" It was difficult to imagine someone pulling that sort of trick on Spock. "How did he take that?"
"It's only a good thing Vulcans process alcohol differently than humans. He drank half the bottle before asking why I was limiting myself to one cup." Her eyes gleamed with mischief. "It is greatly to my advantage that he will not admit to anything as human as being miffed, and I admit that I occasionally using that advantage shamelessly."
"Later, when he admitted that I had provided logical evidence for exceptions, we took a trip to wine country and he found that some varieties were reasonably agreeable. But he preferred the sake."
"The last time Chekov and Scotty debated which beverage was more of a 'man's drink', Spock commented that 'they clearly qualified equally as intoxicating human drinks, as they were equally noxious'," Nyota said, mimicking his expression and tone. "There's a wine and liquor store just ahead. I am definitely buying some sake."
As the 'ritual' continued, Nyota was grateful they could find so many peripheral topics to discuss. After what Spock had told her last night, she was hesitant to ask about family or friends or growing up on Vulcan. It was gradually occurring to her though that through seemingly random and casual queries about her hobbies, home, and family, Selina was subtly probing for information on how well Spock fit into her life.
It dawned on her that he was not the only protective member of the pair.
So when Selina asked when she had last been home, Nyota decide to answer the underlying question as well. "Just before the Enterprise left earth." She smiled widely. "And yes, my family knows about Spock, they met him when they visited me at the Academy, the majority of them are happy for me, and the ones who don't get it have never understood my taste in men anyway."
"Forgive me." Selina looked slightly abashed. "I did not wish to offend you with direct questions and I am afraid I have developed a quite illogical compulsion to look out for Spock - one which he would neither understand nor appreciate."
Nyota laughed despite herself – what a pair! "He might not appreciate it, but since he seems to have the same compulsion to look out for you, he really ought to understand it."
"Indeed? I had wondered why you did not reciprocate any of my questions about family." She shook her head and muttered, "I cry in front of him once beyond the age of 10, and he gets it into that thick Vulcan skull that I am emotionally fragile. Please do not accept his assessment. Feel free to ask whatever you would like to know."
"Deal - as long as you do the same." Nyota's stomach grumbled. "Maybe we should move the Q&A to somewhere we can get lunch?"
"Do you like Italian?"
"Definitely."
"Good. Rappolo's on the 3rd level is excellent. We can take a corner booth and see if we can provide further help for Len with his research project."
"Len?"
"Your Dr. McCoy. I ran into him at breakfast and he told me that he intended to observe Spock carefully during our outing to satisfy a matter of scientific curiosity." She grinned broadly. "He wants to discover if Vulcans can feel their ears burning when people are talking about them."
.
AN: I love sake and the first time I had it the taste was so mild and pleasant I drank way too much before realizing just how much alcohol was in those little tea cups.
I hope no one is too disappointed. I found writing a shopping scene more difficult that I thought it would be. I'm seriously out of practice when it comes to this 'ritual' (little kids + full-time job = no time for shopping with girlfriends).
I promise gossiping about Spock over lunch will be much more amusing. You know Nyota is dying to hear more about him as a Cadet and a bar tender.
