Summary:
AU/Anime-verse/Gen: Edward Elric died bringing Al back. Then, a year after his brother's death, Al sees Ed again – only this time, with a new Ouroboros tattoo on his right hand…
I don't own Ed or Al or any affiliated and recognized characters in FMA.
Warning:
This is where the AU part of the summary comes in. Certain people (plural!) come back to life in this story.
A lot of italics indicate flashback.
Chapter Two
"You lied to him." Maes Hughes stated as Roy reluctantly slipped from Alphonse's room – the boy was already too far gone in his fever and delirium to comprehend anything Roy was saying. Roy paused, not noticing the arrival of his friend until he had spoken. Maes's voice was carefully blank, and – Roy observed as he turned around – his normally expressive face was wiped of all emotions. It was obvious that he had been listening in to their conversation and it was just as clear that he disapproved of Roy's white lies.
Roy slipped on his coat. His gaze was cast downwards, before he finally swallowed and looked at Maes. "I did what I had to do, Maes."
"Which was to lie to him." Maes carefully refused to meet his eyes; it frustrated Roy to no end. Maes's voice was unusually serious, and Roy felt almost tempted to mention the man's daughter and wife. A serious Maes usually meant something generally unpleasant for Roy and this was no exception.
"Yes." Roy's tone allowed for no arguments. Maes's eyes flashed for a second at his flat voice, before he nodded in acquiescence and shrugged.
"Fine, then. Riza's waiting for us in the car, by the way," Maes said, as he led Roy to the parking lot. "She's going to be taking you back to your office and I –" Maes sighed dreamily, forgetting Roy for a moment " – I will be going home to my baby girl and my beautiful wife. Did I tell you that Elicia -"
Roy barely resisted the urge to pull on his gloves and to snap. Thankfully, Maes must have sensed his sudden animosity and quieted down instantly. To Roy's disgust, he was clutching yet another family photograph in his palm – one of Gracia wrapped up in Maes's arms, with little Elicia squashed in between the beaming couple.
As Roy followed Maes, his thoughts started to take a darker, less violent turn: he wondered if he made the right choice in lying – not lying, Roy amended; just not telling the entire truth – to Al. Fullmetal was gone. Nothing would ever change that. Was it really…was it right to want to keep Alphonse alive, at the expense of Al's own happiness? Was it right to keep someone as devoted as Alphonse away from his brother? Would Alphonse hate him for this later?
Why would it matter to me if he does?
Roy started as he realized that he was already in the parking lot, and the door was already open for him. Maes and Riza blinked up at him impatiently and irritably from within the car. He must have been too deep in thought to realize where he was.
"Are you going to get in or what?" his friend demanded. "Gracia's making stew today, and I love stew."
"Maes –" Roy began as he slipped into the car. He swallowed."Never mind."
Hawkeye threw the car into reverse, keeping an eye on the rearview mirrors. She didn't glance at him once as she backed out of the parking lot. All of her attention was concentrated in driving the car and for that, Roy was grateful.
"So, Roy –" Maes began.
Roy looked away. He didn't want to hear Maes lecture about morals. Or about his daughter and wife. In fact, Roy realized, he really didn't want Maes to even open his mouth.
"No, Maes."
His friend fell obediently silent.
Roy unbuttoned his top button, yawned and began tapping on his thigh, staring at the trees that they passed.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Three min–
"Roy," Maes surveyed him over the top of his glasses, his hazel eyes observant and clever. It reminded Roy uncomfortably that his friend was, in fact, part of the Investigations. And in the Investigations department, reading people was all they ever did. "You can't avoid talking to me forever."
Damn.
"Maes," Roy repeated mockingly, folding his arms. He didn't even dignify the last part of what Maes said with a response.
Hawkeye's lips were suddenly pressed into a thin line as she took a sharp turn that threw Roy against the car door, smashing his face unattractively against the window. Roy was quite convinced that she did that on purpose. A moment later, she simply said: "It may be wise to listen to the Lieutenant Colonel, sir."
Roy suppressed a groan. Hawkeye was in this too?
Maes leaned forward. And opened his mouth.
Here we go.
"Roy, listen, we're all human. We all make mistakes. And we've all got to move on from them."
He blinked, and his jaw fell open slightly. "What do you –"
"I'm talking about guilt here. An unnecessary amount of it, too, Roy. Don't deny it. I can see it."
Roy felt the faint pressures of a headache starting to build up in his head. "But it isn't about–"
"Roy. This is about you. See, I've got a –" Maes interrupted Roy in an exasperated tone. He sounded slightly optimistic and excited now, slightly different from his previous serious and neutral baritone, which led Roy to believe that –
Oh no. Roy tensed instinctively, pressing his fingers to his temple in a pathetic attempt to alleviate his incoming headache. "I'm not sure I want to hear more about your theories, Maes."
Maes paid him no heed as he continued, his voice now turning serious and bleak and semi-urgent.
"As his commanding officer, you feel guilty about not being able to save Ed in time. So you save Al instead. And even when you don't know if it's what Al really wants, you still save him. This isn't about what Al wants, is it, Roy?" Maes wanted for an answer that was not forthcoming. Roy didn't want to place his friend under the illusion that Roy was willingly going to go along and cooperate with him.
"This isn't even about what you want, Roy. This is about what Ed would have wanted for his brother. Ed would have wanted his brother to live. But you didn't. And I'm not sure what Al would have – "
"Do not interrupt him, sir," Hawkeye snapped as Roy tried to open his mouth to protest. The free hand that wasn't on the wheel not-so-subtly fingered her gun holster, as intimidating as always. Roy closed his mouth.
Maes continued, his gaze scrutinizing Roy's face. "You wanted to let Al choose. But in the end, you couldn't do it. You couldn't carry out with what you wanted, because that wasn't what Ed would have wanted. You couldn't let Al choose, because what if he chose to die? Because certainly, Ed would never have wanted that to happen. And you felt obligated to do what you think Ed would have wanted you to do. Because you feel guilty that you gave them that mission in the first place. Because you feel guilty you couldn't reach them in time to save both of them and to prevent Ed from making that equivalent exchange.
"And Roy – I'm telling you, for your own sake, you've got to let all this guilt go."
Roy leaned his head against his car-window glass, looking out at the scenery. None of them spoke for the next few minutes.
And Roy thought and reasoned everything out. Because even if Maes said just now was a whole lot of rubbish, it was rubbish that made sense, and he didn't see the point of purposely being obstinate. Here was his best friend, trying to help him – and he had to admit that he did need some help in understanding his own feelings towards this…situation of his.
I'm trying to save Alphonse; because he's that little piece of Edward left that still exists with me in this world…He's that part of Edward that I can still save to make up for not rescuing Ed in time…
Maes wasn't wrong – but he couldn't be completely right either. He wasn't doing this for the memory of Fullmetal. He was doing this for himself. To satiate a selfish desire. Yes, it was partly to absolve his guilt. But he wasn't atoning by giving Fullmetal what he wanted. He was doing it because he just was.
And then his attention drew back to Hawkeye's hand, still caressing her gun like it was her lover, while driving, before making an abrupt decision in his head.
"I think you're right," Roy finally acknowledged, wanting to scowl at the approving gleam in Maes's brightening hazel eyes. He watched the blood-red sun slowly sink into the orange sky. It was a strangely exotic, unique and beautiful scene.
A comfortable silence settled inside the car before Roy decided to break it.
"Maes – he heard me," Roy admitted, hiding his face behind his dark spiky bangs.
"I know," Maes said calmly, stretching. He ran his hand through his hair and shifted in his seat.
"No. You don't understand," Roy shook his head in frustration, glancing over at Hawkeye. She stared determinedly at the road ahead of her. "Alphonse talked to me. In the room. He heard me telling him that it was his choice whether or not to fight to live," Roy explained, his face turned away. "He thought I was sending Fullmetal on another mission. Without him. And he begged me not to send Fullmetal away. I didn't know how to respond to that.
"So I said the first thing that popped into my head. I told him that Fullmetal was safe, that he wasn't going anywhere," he confessed.
A momentary pause.
"You did the only thing that you could, Roy," Maes eventually responded, soft and sympathetic. "But that doesn't make it right."
Roy knew what Maes was trying to tell him. Roy, the only thing that you can do to make it right…is to tell Alphonse Elric the whole truth about his brother.
Alphonse struggled to return to consciousness. The darkness was like quicksand, determined to drag him down into its murky depths and it was tempting – it was so tempting to just give up and go back into the blackness that was all-too-welcoming.
It was an odd feeling, one that Al remembered vaguely. He'd only felt this desire to succumb to sleep when he was human; as a suit of armor, he only ever needed to doze lightly, and he had always been eager for morning to come. Night had always been so incredibly boring; his only form of entertainment had been watching his brother drool while he slept. And by the second year, even the sight of Ed's pillow covered in his drool stopped amusing Al.
Brother. Human.
Alphonse jerked, suddenly awake. His mind raced, observing everything and putting the pieces together. The fact that golden-brown hair now hung in his eyes; the sudden return of feeling to his face (he was sure that the Amestris hospital had never felt so cold before); the way his eyelids felt heavy; the fact that he even had eyelids. How he felt too warm under the covers, too ill and too uncomfortable and weak. How he felt his mouth, too dry and tasteless. How his physical senses were starting to assault him, and how incredibly sensitive he was to everything now. How soft it felt when he clenched his fists.
Al dazedly concluded that he was no longer a suit of armor and maybe – maybe, because Al didn't dare get his hopes up – he was human again. His eyes drifted shut.
How did this happen?
His mind answered for him quickly: Brother.
Al forced his eyes open to look for that golden-blond shock of hair. He gazed around for him desperately (had his head always been this heavy and hard to support?). He wanted to know – he had to know why he was no longer bound to his armor. Did Ed get his body back to normal too? Was everything okay? Was Ed okay?
"Oh. So you're awake, then, Mr. Elric?" a rather pretty nurse slipped into the room. Lieutenant Havoc's ex-girlfriend, Al realized, surprised that he remembered such trivial details at a time like this.
Al nodded. He wasn't sure whether his voice was working or not and it seemed – safer to nod, anyway. His mouth felt so incredibly dry, and it was so uncomfortable. He was experiencing a continuous sensory overload – the soreness of his muscles, the ache of his head, the biting pain in his stomach and the urge to just drift away from all that pain, into the dark hole that was still lurking.
"How do you feel?" the nurse asked gently, bending over Al so that he could see her warm blue eyes. "Sore? Uncomfortable?"
Al nodded again, watching her cautiously as she started to fuss over him. She reminded him uncomfortably of his mother when he was ill – always checking up on him, whether he was hungry, whether he felt too ill, whether he needed more medication. And Ed. His brother – though Ed would never admit it – had acted like a little mother hen the first time Al got sick after his mom died. It had been a small fever, but…
"Al, you're going to get better, okay?" Ed hissed at him vehemently, his golden eyes narrowed. "You're not going to leave me like Mom did, are you? You better get well soon, or I'll bring you back with Mom and I'll kill you myself!"
Al smiled sleepily at how worried Ed sounded under that harsh, angry and demanding facade. He wondered why Ed tried to hide himself like that. It was okay to worry, after all. "Brother, it's just a little fever…"
His brother gritted his teeth. "I know! I'm not stupid, okay, Al? It's just –"
It's just that Mom had the same thing, Al finished for him wordlessly. And it was true. In the end, the only recognizable sign of Trisha Elric's illness was her raging fever and the dazedness that it had induced within his mother's usually sharp mind.
"I'm not going to leave you, Brother," Al reassured him. "It's only the flu."
"I'll take care of you until you get better," Ed promised, scrunching his face up the way he always did when he was determined to do something – and there was no persuading his brother out of it when his expression was like that.
"Okay, then," Al agreed peaceably. "If that's what you want, Brother."
"So are you hungry?" Ed demanded.
"No, Brother."
"Are you thirsty?"
"No, Brother."
"Do you need anything?"
"No, Brother."
"Well, what do you want? You must want something, Al."
"Brother…I just want to sleep."
"Oh." Ed sounded…disappointed. "Well, I'll just…leave then. I'll check up on you in an hour, okay, Al?"
Al sighed internally. "How about two hours, Brother? I don't want –"
"No, Al! One hour!" was Ed's parting response.
Brother, Al suddenly reminded himself, trying to flinch away from all the pain and discomfort that had been distracting him.
"Brother!" Al demanded and tried to sit up. "Where is he?"
Well, that was what Al tried to say. But it all came out was a whole lot of gibberish and a pathetic collapse back onto his bed after a second of holding himself in a sitting position. A frown marred her pretty features as she felt his forehead.
"Your fever's going down," she noted. "You're still pretty hot though. You're still pretty weak, so try not to overexert yourself. I'll get you some water. Do you need anything else?"
"Brother." It didn't sound anything like what Al meant to say, though.
The nurse bit down on her lip. "Do you want to try writing it down instead?"
Al wasn't sure if he could write, but he nodded anyway. Anything to get his message across – he was sure that Ed was probably worried sick over him somewhere – somewhere safe, his mind whispered to him – and it was the last thing Al wanted. Brother had to take care of himself first.
She passed him her clipboard and handed him a pencil. To Al's surprise, the pencil fit in his hand like it was made for it: of course, the moment he started to write, everything that could go wrong, did. His fingers and his arm felt like jelly and jerked uncontrollably, the way it did when he was a child, and was just starting to learn how to write.
The result was a barely-legible 'brother' written on the paper.
"Your…brother?" The nurse read out loud, a perplexed expression on her face. "Mr. Elric, I'm not sure –"
"Thank you, Nurse Shelby. I'll handle it from here," a cool, sharp, masculine voice cut in.
Al looked up, and felt a quick spike of relief inside him.
It was Roy Mustang.
The nurse – Nurse Shelby, Al corrected himself – blushed.
"Of course, Colonel," she said, attempting to sound professional – but failing miserably at it. Al observed the sudden high-pitched tone that she spoke in, the way her eyelashes now fluttered madly and how her bosom seemed…bigger. Then he shook his head, and silently reprimanded himself for thinking inappropriate thoughts.
A faint smug smirk curved the edges of Mustang's mouth, but he nodded to her politely as she exited the room, drawing up the chair by Al's bed.
Al cocked his head wonderingly in Mustang's direction, nonverbally asking the Colonel where was his brother.
The Colonel nodded in acquiescence. Al felt something flare in his chest – excitement, he numbly realized. He was feeling excited for the first time in four years.
"Alphonse…I'm going to tell you the truth now." Mustang seemed to take in a deep breath. "All of it."
Author's Notes:
I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter for multiple reasons, but seeing as I have almost completed Chapter 3, I thought that if I didn't let it out now, then it may never come out. I have decided that I will continue with writing this story, partly because of the positive feedback from readers (thank you so much to those who have taken the time to send me a review!) and partly because I feel that this is something that is personally worth pursuing.
Seeing as I have almost finished the next chapter, I think that I've got to warn you that by the 'Anime-verse' in the title, I mean both animes. I didn't quite intend for it to go this way (hence the recent warning), but this story has legs of its own.
As always, constructive feedback is very much appreciated and it does motivate me to get off my bum to start writing and editing (the most gruesome part of this whole process for me).
Expect Chapter 3 very soon. ;)
Sugaku: Thank you! I was really insecure about posting this, because I wasn't sure whether my characters had simple personalities, let alone complex ones like the ones in FMA. Your comment brightened up my day and encouraged me :) So thank you.
Hell Changer: I read your comment, and that was when I realized that Mustang's reason should be explored - hence Maes's 'theory' in the first part of this chapter. I'm not quite sure whether I captured their relationship well enough in it, though, but I myself did gain a lot of insight from writing that and I hope that you did too. :) As for myself - I think that what Roy did was wrong, but like he says - he did what he had to do at the time. Thanks for the review :)
Koneko Hoshi: I'm sorry for cutting the chapter off right here! XD But I promise that you'll get to see Al's reaction very, very soon, in the next chapter - which I'm wrapping up and starting to edit (really, for me, the editing is the absolute worst part though!).
DemonRaily: I'm glad that this captured your interest. :) Personally, for me, I think that the concept of an Ed with an Ouroboros is utterly completely fascinating, and I wish that there were more stories out there about this! As for the real plot - if I'm going to hazard a guess, I think that the main plot will start in about three chapters? Maybe a bit less, maybe a bit more. But don't worry, all of this isn't completely pointless. These first chapters will account for and explain some of Al's reactions later on.
Unnoticed Observer: Thank you for the compliment :) I'm sorry that I had to cut off the chapter right here - but Chapter 3 (where Al discovers that his brother's dead) is almost finished, and then there'd be editing to do (headdesk). I feel pretty sorry for Al as well - because to be honest with you, I can't imagine one of the Elric boys without the other. That's why I'm resolving to finish the first few chapters quickly, so that I can bring Ed back.
-Yuna's Reincarnation-1: Sure enough, it's updated ;) I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint you!
Crazycomedian: It's true; personally, I think that it's a pretty interesting idea myself and since there weren't a lot of stories with a Homunculus!Ed, I decided to write one! :) Thank you for the pointer about the hyphen. I did try to use it a little less this chapter after reading your comment, because one of my biggest faults in writing is the over-usage of punctuation marks XD I'm glad that I have someone looking out for me for things like that! :)
