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Chapter 57
House pulled into the parking lot outside his condo and parked his bike. Just as he was taking off his helmet, a movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He was mildly surprised to see a freezing Wilson standing on the sidewalk, holding a pizza box.
"What are you doing here?" House asked although he already knew the answer.
"What are you doing riding your bike in this weather?" Wilson asked sternly.
House didn't answer as he limped past a very cold Wilson.
Wilson ignored House's silence and continued. "Thought you would like some pizza. I brought beer too."
House stopped and looked at Wilson. "I don't need a babysitter." He said bitterly.
"I know that but I thought you could use a friend." Wilson said through chattering teeth.
House looked downward and sighed. "C'mon. Let's go inside. It's freezing out here." And the two men continued up the sidewalk to the front door.
Once inside, House immediately took off his leather jacket and kicked off his Nike tennis shoes.
Wilson sat the pizza and beer down on the coffee table and went into the kitchen to grab some napkins. He joined House on the leather sofa and placed a piece of pizza on each plate while House opened two of the beers. They sat back and began to eat, neither saying anything for the first several minutes.
It was Wilson who broke the silence first. "So, where were you? I called you four times." He asked taking a drink of his cold beer.
"Obviously I didn't want to talk." House scoffed.
Wilson looked over at House and noticed how emotionally drained he looked. Wilson was instantly over come by emotion at his friend's pain. However, he knew it was best to not say anything and chose to keep silent.
House turned on the TV to help ease the silence that was dominating the room.
After half an hour or so, only two slices of pizza had been eaten and both men were still sipping on their first beer. It was clear that neither Wilson or House really had much of an appetite.
"I called Cameron's brother tonight." House finally spoke.
Wilson was surprised. "You did? What made you decide to do that?"
"I thought it would be better if he heard the news from someone who knew Cameron."
"How did he take it?"
"How do you think he took it? He's flying in tomorrow morning. He's stopping by the hospital to pick up a key to Cameron's apartment."
"You have a key to Cameron's apartment?" Wilson asked curiously.
"Does it surprise you that I have a key?"
Wilson thought for a few seconds. "Not really." He answered taking the last drink of his beer. He gathered up the pizza and the plates, noticing that House had only taken a few bites of his one piece. He returned and opened another beer. "Do you want another beer?"
"I'm not really in a drinking mood." House answered somberly.
Wilson understood. "So, have you ever met Cameron's brother?"
"Nope."
"I wonder what he's like? Cameron has mentioned him a few times. Seems like a nice guy. I know they're close."
House listened to Wilson wondering if his best friend knew Cameron better than he did.
"Did you stop by the police station and give them a set of your fingerprints?"
"They already have a set on file from that crap with Tritter."
"Oh, that's right. I forgot about that."
House leaned forward and let out a long, slow breath.
Wilson placed a hand on his friends shoulder. "They will find her."
House shrugged off Wilson's hand. "You don't know that. No one knows that. We don't know if we will ever see her again."
"Don't think like that."
"Why the hell not?" House said angrily. "Everyone is thinking it. Why not say it?"
Wilson looked away, not knowing what to say. It was true. The thought had even crossed his mind.
"What's the matter? No pep talk? No speech to tell me why I shouldn't think that?" House said bitterly.
"No, House. I don't have any magical words that are going to tell you what will happen. You just have to believe in your heart that Cameron will be found and she will be okay."
House leaned back. "I have never been good at waiting and I don't like not knowing."
"I know." Wilson said quietly.
"I should have been with her but instead, I did what I always do. I pushed her away."
"This is not your fault. No one could be with Cameron all the time." Wilson paused. "As for pushing her away, I don't have an answer for that. I don't understand why you won't let yourself be happy."
"Because I would only hurt her." House defended his actions.
"Not if you don't want to. Besides, don't you think it should be Cameron's decision?"
"Cameron thinks too much with her heart."
"Maybe you should try it." Wilson said carefully.
House made a grunting sound. "Only fools think with their hearts."
"Maybe so but sometimes you just have to go out on a limb to get what you want. Isn't she worth it?"
House stared at Wilson. "I would only screw it up."
"Cameron knows how you are. She has always been in your corner whether you wanted her to or not. If there is any one who can put up with you and love you the way you are, it's Cameron."
"She's better off without me in her life."
Wilson was sadden by House's continued negativity. "House, the heart never lies. It wants what it wants. It doesn't matter if you ignore it or continue to push Cameron away or have a relationship with someone else. There is always going to be that part of your heart that will want Cameron. I just think if Cameron is willing to take a chance on you, you should take a chance on her. I would think that after this is all over with, there is nothing that would keep you away from her."
House looked away and sighed heavily. His chest was tight from the emotion that was building inside again. "I don't want to talk about this any more. I'm tired." He said and turned off the TV.
"Okay." Wilson said, knowing it was no use to push the issue further. "I'll just crash on the couch tonight."
"I said I don't need a baby sitter. I'm fine. I'll call you if I hear anything." House stood, letting Wilson know it was time for him to leave.
Wilson took the hint and stood and put on his coat. He walked slowly to the door but before he opened it, he turned to House once more. "Think about what I said House. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be with Cameron. Call me if you need anything." He said and walked out.
House stepped to the window to see that it was still snowing and wondered if Cameron was warm… wherever she was. He rubbed his unshaven chin and started to walk towards his piano when he spied the tattered gray book that was high on his book shelf. Inside the book, hidden away, was the resignation letter Cameron had given him. He had never read it. He walked over and removed the book from it's resting place. He pulled out the sealed envelope and stared at his name that was written neatly on the front. He knew the contents were filled with Cameron's feelings of why she felt the need to leave… and also what she felt for him. He turned it over and carefully began to tear open the seal, then stopped. He wasn't ready to read her words yet, especially not now. He placed the envelope between the worn pages again and carefully placed the book back in it's place. It gave him some comfort to know her words were there, hidden from everyone except him.
He suddenly felt exhausted. Forgetting about his piano, he instead limped over and turned off the lamp and slowly made his way to his bedroom. Not bothering to turn on any lights, he sat down on his bed in the dark and opened up the orange vile that was sitting on the nightstand and popped two little white pills into his mouth and swallowed. He laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He knew it was going to be a long night. It wasn't long before his mind began to wander back to the night, not so long ago, when he had held Cameron next to him. He could still feel her soft skin next to his and hear her laughter dancing around the room. Somehow, the thoughts of Cameron comforted him and it wasn't long before he drifted into a restless sleep.
