Chapter 4 More questions, less answers
I was clearly drunker than I thought, because as soon as I was at my hotel room, which took me a while to get into, she was gone and all I wanted to do was sleep. Without getting un-dressed or even taking off my boots I collapsed on top of the bed and fell straight away into a dreamless sleep. Disappointment couldn't be shaken and once again as always I had lost her before I even had her.
I woke up to the sound of the alarm ringing, turning it off I went managed to steal a glance at the time, a little before seven, luckily I could get away with a long over-due sleep in. I rolled over and there she was next to me on the bed. Her eyes closed, those blacked sleeved arms resting over her body. Now my eyes were open and I hoped my head was clear. I just watched her for a moment, she looked so peaceful, just resting. I couldn't help it, with a trembling hand I reached out for her, needing to feel her skin under my fingertips, I tried to touch her face, but my hand went straight through her and all I felt was the bed beneath her. I tried to touch her hand but bed was all I got, I kept trying wondering if it was just my imagination or a dream. I put my hand on her chest trying to feel a beating heart, but nothing came only blankets.
"Its still molestation even if it your touch goes straight through me"
Her voice washed over me, her body still lay peacefully on the bed, those eyes shut. I sat up and shook myself, I thought she would leave but all she did was make movement. She got up and stood right in front of me, everything was the same. Her black clothes, that chain and her hood still on her head, a few silver ringelts poking out.
"Who are you?" I barely got out, I couldn't believe this was happening and yet it was.
"I can't tell you that, its something you gotta figure out for yourself"
"Am I dead or just insane?"
She laughed, a soft laughter that would echo on the wind, "Hun only one of is dead and crazy and it ain't you"
"Why are you here?"
"Because one of us needs redemption and one of us needs saving"
"Why do you need redemption?"
"Because I was a bad bad girl" She giggled at her statement that could be taken the wrong way. "I did something that I shouldn't of done and now here I am. I actually didn't care about being redeemedm, I was happier where I was, but then I saw your name and I just knew I had to save you"
"I don't think I can be saved" I whispered sadly, even with her here and talking to me, I still didn't think I could be saved. Maybe this was the end of the line.
"No one is beyond saving Kane"
She came over to me and stroked my face, I felt warmth for a moment before it went cold.
"Of course its up to you, if you don't want me to try then I'll leave"
"Why me? What makes me so special?" I couldn't help the accusation, I never thought this would happen but it was and I wasn't so sure I wanted it to happen.
"I went against the rules and commited the ultimate sin, apparently everyone deserves the right to live, but I didn't see it that way, I was told that in order to be redeemed I need to save a life, I spent ages in my own personal hell, I had stopped caring because no one was worth it, but then I saw you and I just knew you were worth it. I don't want to save you for redemption, thats just a perk, I wanna save you for personal reasons"
"Which are?"
She shook her head slowly again, "I can't tell you that, thats something you gotta figure out on your own. All I can do is guide you,"
"You can't tell me anything?"
"If you ask the right questions I can answer, I can only hope you will help,"
"Help?" I was more confused than ever, not to mention I was still over-joyed that she was here and talking to me.
"They say that if you find me, along the way, you'll find yourself."
"What if I don't wanna find myself? What if I don't care what happened to you?"
I liked her smirk, it lit up her face, "Theres that fight we wanna see Kane, but I hope that you change your mind. After all I would like to rest at some point. I'm so tired"
"Are you really dead?"
She gave a giggle, one that made me feel somewhat lighter "Yes Kane, I'm dead. I'm more dead than Elvis, I've always wanted to say that"
"You said personal reasons?"
"Yes I did"
She didn't say anything beyond that but she kept talking about something else, something that made me change my mind about being saved and her redemption.
"My sister used to say that my failing was personal emotion, I took things straight to my heart, thats what I did with that prick, I made him kill himself, I call it eye for an eye. He got what he deserved, he took my life so I took his"
"You were murdered?"
She nodded grimly, "Pretty much. Thats a clue by the way, see no one really knows what happened to me, all they know was I was dead and my life was over." She took a breath and kept talking, "When I saw your name on that list, I knew you were the one to help me and yourself. There was a time when you cared for me, even if it was a little"
"We've met before?"
She nodded but said nothing about that "Emotion gets stuck with you when you die, I was stuck with hatred, my sister was stuck happiness"
"Your sister is dead too?"
She nodded sadly "She killed herself two days after my death, she said that living without me wasn't living at all. I hope you never feel that way Kane"
I didn't say anything but she gave me a wistful look. "I'll leave you now, I really hoped I would be able to save you, your the only one I would want to save, everyone else can go to hell."
I tried to grab her hand but I went straight through her, "Wait"
She looked up at me, I came up to her and gently stroked her face, I was inches away from her, "I want you to save me"
"I was hoping you would say that Kane."
I had no idea what I was getting into but if I got more time with her, then it didn't matter.
