Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does... AND HER HUSBAND PANCHO! (Maybe not... Pancho has nothing to do with this.)
A/N: Okay, oki doki, oki dokerz, alrighty, let's do this, oohhhhkaaayyyy, mhhmmm, I got this, soon now, GO!
Okay, that was weird, I know.
First off: HAPPY FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm really anxious for you guys to read this chapter because -sad I know- ToC is coming to an end soon! I finished the last chapters and I can't wait for you guys to see the ending I have!
WARNING! YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THIS CHAPTER! YOU REAAAAAALLLYYY HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THIS CHAPTER!
Alright loves, I'm going to dedicate this chapter to Alex and ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE!
Much love and...
ENJOYYYYY!
Renesmee
"Laps, twelve, around the gym, make it happen!" Coach Hussmann's voice boomed around the entire gym and everyone started to jog. Emily jogged next to me, panting melodramatically.
"Stop being so dramatic Em, it's not that bad." I assured her even though I personally wanted to strangle Coach with my own bare hands. These gym shorts were short enough to be considered underwear and being cooped up in the gym all period instead of being outside really put a damper on my mood.
"You know just as well as I do that gym sucks." Emily snapped and at that I had to laugh. We'd had gym for all of one month this quarter and Emily was already freaking out.
"It does but at least we have each other." I smiled a big cheesy- car-salesmen smile and Emily rolled her eyes, flipping her long, black hair back.
"Too bad Monica has this hour gym with us." Emily huffed, sticking her nose up as we continued on our third lap.
"Yeah, you're telling me." I mumbled, craning my neck to get a better view of the witch herself. Of course she wasn't jogging laps, she told Coach she has sore muscles from cheerleading and he let her sit out. (Guess life's good when you're a cheerleader.) She was snapping gum, running her hands through her fake, black hair like she was someone important.
"So, have you decided when you're sleeping over?" Emily asked, starting to pump her arms and actually put an effort into it.
"Em," I groaned. She'd been under the impression that I would sleepover sometime soon and she would do my hair and makeup and stupid stuff like that. I mean, c'mon, how old are we, four?
"C'mon Nessie-boo! We'll have so much fun!" Emily clapped her hands together and I rolled my eyes. Coach blew his whistle which —he said— meant that it was time to hit the locker rooms and get ready for fifth hour. Emily stopped jogging and hung onto my arm, jumping up and down as she did.
"Emily, if I sleep over it has to be on the weekend. Jacob and I usually have date night on Fridays." I sighed happily, prying her acrylic nails off of my forearm.
"UGH! Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. Do you think about anything else?" Emily complained but smiled otherwise.
"No, not really." I shrugged and she laughed, throwing her head back and everything. I hadn't seen that in a while from Emily.
In the locker room Emily undid her lock next to mine. It was surprising enough to have the same elective this quarter but to have lockers next to each other too; that was the icing on the cake. There was light chatter among the few girls left as the room cleared out and Emily fixed her hair in the mirror she had already pretty much welded to her locker door.
"No way, he's cute but he has nothing going on for him down there." Some girl laughed on the other side of the locker wall.
"Junior? He has a huge gift Sheyenne… if you know what I mean." I would recognize that voice anywhere. My mortal enemy… if that's even a good way to put it- Monica Jazlene.
"Ew." Emily whispered with a look of horror spread across her face. I grimaced as well but listened in still.
"You know who else has a big one?" Monica asked, probably flipping her hair or something like that as she talked. I could hear her snapping gum, typical Monica habit.
"Who?" Her friend asked, suddenly this was a life-or-death situation based on her tone of voice.
"Quil Ateara." Monica gushed and I almost gagged… almost.
"Ew-er!" Emily whisper-screeched. I motioned with my finger over my mouth for her to be quiet and she frowned, nodding.
"Really?" Sheyenne asked, sounding so shocked it was almost painful to listen to her bad acting skills.
"Yeah, I saw it once, it's huge." Monica stated as-a-matter-of-factly. I put my hand over my mouth and Emily giggled quietly.
"You know who has the biggest though?" Monica continued.
I hated Monica let me tell you something. It wasn't even like high-school-girl-hate. It was like… I-wanna-stuff-her-mouth-with-grenades-and-watch-her-head-explode kind of hate. To hear her voice made the hair rise on the back of my neck, to see her in the hallways made my fist clench and to hear her name made bile rise in my throat.
I just did not like her.
So, it was a bit unlike me to be listening into her conversations when I could really care less whether or not she existed or fell of the face of the planet. I knew she dated Jacob a while back and that's probably what upset me the most about her. Just to know that she was a part of Jacob's life really made me hate her.
"Who?" Sheyenne egged her on, probably looking way more excited than necessary.
"Jacob Black."
Monica wants me to hit her, that's all.
"Really?" Her friend asked incredulously. Emily's eyes went round like dinner plates as she looked at me. I could feel my blood flowing hot and angry in my veins as Monica gushed about the size of Jacob's fifth limb.
"It's enormous. I've seen it a bunch of times. I —of all people— would know." Monica continued and I clenched and unclenched my fists at my sides. (I mean, we Cullen's are not violent people, trust me. And I know for a fact that if you put me up against Monica in a fist fight, I would loose. Intelligence, I could win, not physically fighting her. But, hearing her talk about the size of Jacob's member made me want to knock her lights out.)
"Nessie, stay calm," Emily warned though whisper. I nodded in her direction even though there was no way in hell I was going to stay calm while Monica was blabbering about my boyfriend's penis.
"I actually just gave him brain recently, I could barely fit it in my mouth."
Record scratch.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Recently?
I felt the blood drain from my face and the rest of my body as Monica and her friend started giggling uncontrollably.
"Renesmee…" Emily said quietly, putting her hand on my arm. I snatched it away from her and slammed my locker so hard it reverberated off the rest of the row and Emily's mirror fell, shattering into sharp shards of glass onto the hard linoleum floor.
Monica and Sheyenne screeched, looking around like two idiot-… oh wait, that's right… THEY ARE TWO IDIOTS!
I stormed out of the locker rooms and out of the gym, stomping straight for where I knew Jacob would be waiting for me.
This dirty, perverted, son of a bitch thought he could get away with letting the dirtiest, loosest girl in the school ¾no in all of the state of Washington¾ put her mouth on his stuff while he was dating me… AND GET AWAY WITH IT?
I pushed some emo kid out of my way and charged forward. I could hear Emily yelling behind me, "Renesmee! Renesmee come here!" I ignored her and kept on, hell bent on strangling Jacob Black. How could he have done this? How could he have gone back on everything he said to me, on everything bad he said about Bryan and now he was doing the same thing? He lied, he cheated, he betrayed me!
How could he know that I loved him and still do something like that? I loved him. I made love to him! Jeez, I gave up so much for what I have with Jacob. I disappointed my father, I drifted away from Emily, I skipped class for him and he didn't give a damn, did he?
No.
He could care less about my feelings and what I do! He's Jacob Black! He doesn't need feelings! He doesn't need other people! He just needs football and girls and those same girls who watch him play football to put their herpes-infected mouths on his dick!
I continued on and finally, I could see him right there in my line of sight. Paul pointed towards me and Jacob turned to look at me, his face contorted like he saw a raging bull coming towards him… though I was pretty close.
I remember the times I thought Jacob was hot.
I remember when I thought he was adorable and sweet and endearing and ¾God help me¾ faithful. Now I look at Jacob and I've never seen someone so ugly, so hideous to the human eye.
I got right up in his face, breathing erratically and he just stared up at me. "Hey babe, is there something wr-" he started. Before I knew what happened, my hand shot forward and I slapped Jacob right across the face.
Hard.
"Renesmee what the-"
"Don't 'babe' me, okay? You're a fucking pig Jacob Black!" I spat. That wasn't even a fraction of what I really wanted to say, but, then again I would have a hard time trying to express all my anger into words. There was an eruption of "oo's!" coming from the surrounding crowd.
Good.
I hoped he was embarrassed and he was completely mortified and I hoped he burned in the seventh circle of hell.
He came up behind me and grabbed my wrist, I snapped my arm back and stared him right in his eyes. How dare he look at me like I was crazy! He was playing stupid and I had absolutely no patience for stupidity right now. Just last hour I was sitting with Jacob, kissing and loving him like I'd been doing for so long and now I promise you I've never hated someone so bad in my entire life!
"Renesmee, what the hell is going on?" He asked dumbly, trying to put his traitor hands on my waist.
Now he was going to get it.
"Don't you ever touch me again, you pervert! We are OVER!" I shouted. I turned on my heel and stomped towards my car. I didn't want to see anyone else.
When I got into my car I sped for the one place I knew I could go and I would never have to be embarrassed for crying and being a total loser; my grandpa Charlie's.
My grandpa Charlie died when I was fourteen and I've always had a special place in my heart for him. We never sold his house, ever. My mom gave me a copy of the house key and told me to clear my stuff out so only grandpa Charlie would be left in his house.
I never cleared my stuff out.
I sped there like a crazy bitch, even though that's kind-of what I was at that point, and when I got there I just ran for the door and locked myself in. I cried and yelled and screamed and though on the outside I was angry, on the inside I was completely heartbroken.
Jacob was the one boy I loved more than anything.
Not anymore, I guess.
When I was done having a fit standing up, I sat down on grandpa Charlie's favorite recliner. I just put my elbows on my knees, put my face in my hands and cried.
I sobbed and cried and wailed for so long my chest started to ache. I don't think I ever felt this hurt.
When my grandpa Charlie died I was sad. When Bryan cheated on me I was upset.
Now that Jacob and I are over, I am devastated.
I was so shocked and mortified I couldn't even think straight.
Why was Monica such a slut?
Why was Jacob such a douche bag?
Why did he go back to her?
Why did he tell me he loved me when he didn't mean it?
Because, honestly, how can you love someone when they're not enough?
I closed my eyes and felt warm tears ooze down my cheeks. My phone was ringing in my pocket like crazy. I felt like I was duct-taped to the underside of roller coaster tracks, constantly being vibrated and shook. I just didn't have the energy to pick up the phone. I curled up on my side and cried, balling my fist into my mouth.
I was so alone.
The power here must've been off for years. It was cold and damp in here, just the way grandpa Charlie would've liked it to be. The silence was unnerving and I felt even more alone every ticking second.
Jacob left me.
Not in the physical sense, but, in the emotional sense. He left me by myself, in love all on my own. He didn't care for me, no, he never did. Worst yet, I gave away the one thing I had promised to the dear God above and to my parents back at home, I gave Jacob my virginity.
Maybe that's all he wanted.
Maybe he'd never done it with a virgin and that was some kind-of dare. I'm guessing maybe Jared dared him, or maybe I'm delusional.
Maybe I just let myself believe Jacob loved me when I was one hundred and twenty percent better off by myself.
And Bryan, ha, Bryan.
It seems so stupid to bring Bryan back into this but maybe they had some kind of friendship. Maybe it was a game they were both playing, the "Lets-See-Which-One-of-Us-Can-Make-Renesmee-Commit-Suicide-First" game.
Jacob was winning.
Just the thought of Jacob again brought a tight pain in my chest so I let out a scream so loud, even I had to cover my ears. It was a cross between a banshee and the blood churning scream they play in horror movies. I pulled at the hair on the sides of my head.
I was going nuts.
How long had I been here?
How long would I be here?
Would I just die here like grandpa Charlie?
Alone, without a goodbye to spare?
My phone rang again in my pocket and this time it felt like I should answer it. Emily, the caller ID read. I took two deep breaths before flipping my phone open and pressing the receiver to my ear, "Hello?" I croaked. I sounded dry and raspy, no wonder Jacob cheated on me.
"Where the hell are you Renesmee Carlie Cullen? Do you want me to go insane?" Emily scolded through phone.
"N-n-n-n-no." I stuttered and Emily sighed heavily. I could hear an engine's acceleration through the background of the phone.
"Where are you Nessie? Do you need me to come over there?" Emily asked, her tone much softer than before. I guess she figured out I wasn't really in the best shape for her harsh banter.
"I'm a-a-at m-m-my grandp-p-pa Ch-ch-ch-arlie's." I breathed deeply before I heard Emily receive some honks over the phone and then she sighed before speaking again.
"I'm on my way." She said before hanging up and I sighed, pushing myself deep into the crevices of the sofa.
I wanted to disappear.
I wanted to vanish.
Forever.
I never wanted to go back to school again and deal with Jacob, or Monica, or Bryan, or anyone else. I just wanted to live by myself, like a hermit crab, in my own shell with nothing to worry about but when I'm going to find a brand new, shiny shell to move into.
That's me.
Renesmee the Hermit Crab.
Three, impatient knocks on the front door made me jump and I scrambled to my feet. I unlocked the deadbolt on the door and slowly let the it slide open.
"Oh honey," Emily sighed heavily, wrapping me in her perfume scented hug. Her hair wafted up my nose and irritated my face but I didn't care. The second Emily's arms wrapped around me I just started crying again. It was like an instant reflex.
"E-mily. He l-l-l-ied." I sniffled, sputtering and coughing as I did.
"I know honey, I know." She nodded, rubbing her hands up and down my back. She brought me over to the sofa were I just kept crying, pressing my face into the crook of her neck. She just sat there and let me cuss and cry and screech the whole time, nodding and agreeing with whatever I said.
"He's a lying cheating, mother fucking man slut, whore bastard!" I screamed, feeling my lungs cave and my chest tighten.
"Yes he is." Emily nodded, stroking my hair with her long fingers. I turned my head up in her lap and she wiped the tears off my face, "All done?" Emily asked, brushing the hair off my forehead.
I nodded.
"Alright, c'mon." Emily took my hand in hers and led me out of the house. She took the keys out of my curled up hands and I stared down at the imprint it left in my hand. I'm surprised I hadn't started bleeding already. She locked the door behind me and led me out to her car.
"W-w-w-what about m-m-my V-v-volv-vo?" I asked, sputtering like I hadn't learned the English language correctly.
"I'll take it back, I'm bringing you to my house for the weekend though, I can't trust you by yourself for the weekend." Emily stared at me levelly while she backed out.
"Fine." I pouted, crossing my arms across my chest. Emily's radio thrummed lightly as she drove —terribly— back to her house.
"W-w-w-what do I t-t-tell my p-p-p-p-parents?" I asked when she pulled into her driveway. She sighed heavily and turned off her car, putting her head against the wheel.
"I don't care what you tell them but you're not sleeping alone tonight. What Jacob did to you was absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. I'm not letting you go through this alone." Emily told me. I felt my eyes tear up again and I dug into my coat pocket, handing Emily my cell phone.
"C-c-c-can you t-t-tell them t-t-tha-a-t?" I offered her the phone and she smiled, nodding. She took my phone and dialed my dad's number, listening intently.
"Hey Mr. Cullen, no, it's Emily… Yeah… Good how are you… She's fine… uh huh… well, actually I was thinking Renesmee should spend the long weekend with me and my family… No sir… mhmm… you got it… no… alright… okay… I'll tell her… you too… bye." Was the whole entire conversation.
"W-w-w-hat h-happened?" I asked, crossing my arms again.
"He says he loves you and to call him when you feel up to it, he doesn't know about Jacob, he just thinks you're having a girl day." Emily made quotations with her fingers and I sighed, leaning my head against the headrest.
"I feel like I'm having a girl day." I sighed and Emily laughed lightly, putting her head on my shoulder.
"I'm here for you Nessie. We're going to have fun and forget about Jacob this weekend." His name made my stomach churn and Emily probably saw the face I made. I'm not sure what she wanted me to say, I'm sorry for being sick to my stomach whenever she said his name? That wasn't going to happen.
"C'mon, let's go inside." She told me before grabbing something from the backseat… my bag.
"Oh Em, th-th-thank you." I sighed happily when she set my book bag in my lap.
"You got it kiddo." She winked and got out of the car. I followed her up the porch and inside where Emily led me upstairs. It still kind-of felt like this whole thing wasn't happening. I felt like maybe I would just wake up all of a sudden and Jacob would be picking me up for school early in the morning.
My breathing fits finally calmed down and I was able to speak calmly after a while. Emily just let me sit on her bed and watch some TV while she checked her Myspace. She sent some text messages on her sidekick before finally looking up at me with this sudden burst of realization.
"Ice cream!" She clapped her hands together before charging down the stairs, towing me along by my wrists. Emily's dog, Beyoncé, yipped and trotted next to us happily, thinking we were playing a game with her.
"Emily I don't really want-" She put her hand over my mouth before I could say anything else and I blinked twice.
"Cookie dough okay?" She asked and I nodded slowly. She took her hand off my mouth and I sighed heavily. My throat hurt.
"Em, I don't see how ice cream is going to solve my problem. Jacob cheated on me with Monica. That's not just something ice cream is going to heal." I argued. Beyoncé nipped at my ankles so I picked her up and patted her soft little head.
"Renesmee, I know it's not going to heal you but it will relax you kind-of. This weekend we're just going to do a whole bunch of stuff so you can get over Jacob." She smiled happily and handed me a bowl she'd just scooped ice cream into.
"Emily, I don't think all this is going to help. Valentines Day is like… next week and I don't have anyone to spend it with-" I started to complain and Emily rolled her eyes.
"You have me, duh." She said as if it were obvious.
"This is the worst day of my life." I mumbled and put my head down against the cool marble top of Emily's kitchen bar. I sat up on the barstool to make it easier and Emily came around the corner, putting her arm over my shoulders.
"Only if you let it be." She said in a sing-song voice. I looked up at Emily and she winked, going back to serving herself ice cream.
She was right.
"So what do you plan on doing to me?" I asked, shoving the wad of ice cream around in my bowl with the spoon Emily had given me.
"Well I was actually thinking tomorrow I could take you to this party. It's a little too early to have you do anything today, don't you think?" Emily said nonchalantly as she put the tub of ice cream away and licked the serving spoon.
"Sure." I shrugged and Emily rolled her eyes.
"If you want you can help me make dinner. My parents are out of town for the weekend so I can't live off of cereal the whole time," Emily winked and I kind-of smiled at her.
"Okay Emily." I said unconvincingly and got up from the barstool, helping her pick out something to eat.
*
That night, after dinner I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked down, 19 Missed Calls. I sighed and scrolled through the list.
It looked a little something like this:
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Mom
Dad
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Emily
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
Jacob
I had three voicemails. One from my dad and two from Jacob, "Renesmee, it's your father, call me when you get this message." I sighed and pressed "7" for delete. I waited until the next voicemail started, "Ness," There was a long pause and just to hear him say my name made tears well up in my eyes, "Renesmee, I don't know why you're mad at me. Can you please call me and tell me what's going on? I love you, bye."
I clenched and unclenched my fists at my sides and deleted that one too. Then I played the third and final voice mail.
"Renesmee, it's been two hours. I'm a wreck… can you please call me? Ness, babe, I'm dying here. Call me. Love you, bye." I screeched and threw my phone across the bathroom where I went to be alone for a minute. Emily busted into the bathroom half-dressed, gripping the front of her pants so they wouldn't fall.
"What happened? Are you okay?" She yelled rushing over to gather me in her arms.
"He c-c-called me." I sobbed. Why did Jacob have this effect on me? Why was Jacob making me so miserable?
Because you love him, duh.
I cried louder at that and Emily sighed, buttoning her pants up again and grabbing my phone from under the sink where it slid after I threw it. She crawled back towards me and hugged me close, her boobs all in my face. Thank god she was wearing a bra at least.
"Uh, Emily." I muttered and she laughed sheepishly, pulling back.
"Oh Renesmee, I really wished this didn't happen to you. Not you Nessie, you don't deserve this." She sighed, putting her hand on mine.
"I just w-w-want to s-s-sleep Em." I sighed, putting my head on her shoulder.
"Alright, I'll get you some pajamas." Emily said softly before getting up and walking into her bedroom connected to her bathroom to get me something to wear to sleep. I rocked with a violent tremor and picked up my phone from where Emily had put it down.
I dialed the ten digit number I knew by heart and pushed the receiver to my ear.
"Hello?" He answered, his voice husky and tired.
"Hey dad, I need to talk to you." I mumbled.
A/N: I hope y'all payed attention because we're coming to a close and this is a crucial part of the stoo-ray! (Spelled it like that on purpose.)
I'm so happy today and altogether because I stuck with this one and I FINISHED it! Next up after this is TMNM (Those Magical Nine Months) and when I'm done with that I'm not sure where I'll go! I strongly suggest you guys read TMNM I just put it on layaway for a little while as I was writing Toc. Which, as everyone knows, is my main priority.
Thanks a whole bunch and if I get my ten reviews I'll post faster which means, yes, closer to the end for you!
Muchas gracias!
("Thanks a lot" for all you not-spanish-readers-or-speakers!)
