Reliving the Past: A false analysis.

[AHH I give full happy credit to my newly dubbed best friend John who reviewed once and made my life burst with excitement! Thank you stranger for that amazing idea with kaka-sensei, I love you forever and full credit goes to them! (See the happiness that comes about when people relieve you from a writer's block? :D)]

How can one love when there is nothing left to love? Or rather, how can you feel happiness when your life, your reason for living, just never belonged to you in the first place? How can one ever feel content with the knowledge, the absolute conformity, that they were not wanted. That even the one they cherished the most had decided that they would never be an item of possession. How can some already torn soul rejuvenate after coming to terms with the truth? How could a worthless nothing like myself ever mean anything to a shinobi as powerful as Sasuke?

No, it was impossible to somehow mean the slightest of things to that Uchiha, no matter how many times in the past he may have assured it. He never belonged to me in the first place, that was why, even after a year, he never came to find me. That was why. The pain bound me to him. I had to chase after him. It was not a matter of choice, but now it was my curious neko side taking effect. It was a loyalty instinct.

Even if Sasuke had never truly been mine, or so I believed, I had to go find the stoic boy anyways.

'You're forgetting why he left…" My subconscious reminded.

It was a strange occurrence as to why he left, really. In all honesty I could not bring myself to trusting the reasoning's Sasuke had given me for his departure. He had assured me that I was going to be safer if he left, that no harm would befall me so long as he kept his distance. However, he left to go join forces with his dead ancestor, this so called "Madara Uchiha."

The name itself had the stunning ability to strike fear into the hearts of people everywhere. Even way back in the cloud village we heard stories about his thrilling assaults on Shinobi. What a blood chilling demonic oppose he must have been. What a monster he must have been. Just his name…That was all it took to begin a fearful reaction amongst all but myself.

To me he was nothing more than a dead failure, from the stories I had overhead, because dead failures recognized their own kind, no?

However, that was just it. Madara Uchiha had been killed off a long time ago by the first Hokage of Konohagakure. He was dead. Sasuke could not have meant the same Madara…Which was precisely the reason I trusted him not.

How could I?

A lie that far-fetched was ridiculous and insulting. It would have hurt my pride if I had donned the emotional capacity to have any. Yet, the fact that he had lied alone was enough to tear me down to rubble once more, but to think that he had done it almost immediately after he bedded with me.

It truly was revolting, but even so, I still had to chase him down. Find out the truth. Understand why he chose to do such a thing while still knowing he did not want me; Yasha; the dirt under his shoes; a good for nothing Jinchuuriki; a disgusting murderous girl who could not be classified as a human or animal. I was nothing…And Sasuke knew it.

With this, I must restate my questions. How can one love when there is nothing left to love? How can you live when your reason for living is not even yours? How can you smile with no happiness?

The answer is-You cannot.

So how is it possible for humanity to live with itself every day with smiles glazing over their faces, incoherent of the real pain that resides within a life?

What a messed up world we were trapped in. Like birds we were caged in a hopeless world, unable to leave or do anything about our born solitude but fight a one sided war.

Even back when I was happily with Sasuke there was no way to escape the metal bars binding me to the terrorous earth. I could clearly remember the last night that he spent with me before the sudden departure. To me it appeared far too generous for the spirits of the earth to grant me such a happy moment with another being…Far too unbelievable for somebody like Sasuke to want to lay there with me like that. It was only sensible that the bars were still around me; still locking me within its grasp, for too soon was the Uchiha to leave…It was a wonder that even with those words he softly whispered to me that I could not sense the lies. Maybe I had, but just never thought enough about it.

Gazing down at Kana seemed to be the only way to bring myself to truly thing about what Sasuke had told me that night. It was almost like observing her was like being with Sasuke all over again; That if I merely closed my eyes with her in my arms I could easily slip back to that night.

"…You're quiet…" Sasuke noted in a hushed tone, breathing heavily against my throat as his head leaned onto my bare shoulder with his arms wrapped tightly around my small body, hesitant to release its grasp. My fingers were barely gripping onto the arm draped over my stomach, gently trailing up and down his forearm as though mapping out the feel of his limb. I was far too mesmerized to comprehend the audacity of what we had just done to speak much.

"Hai…" I replied softly with warm lips barely moving to release the single word that almost pushed my lungs from my throat as they attempted to bring in the most air with the smallest of actions.

"You're tired?" The Uchiha questioned as though he were teasing me, his smirk being felt against the smooth surface of my skin, every breath he let out gliding over the pale glass that stretched over my neck sending nonchalant shivers down my spine.

I stared blankly up at the endless stretch of black ceiling, painted over with shadows of the night, "…No…"

"Hn," Sasuke huffed as his hand ran down lower towards my bare thigh that was part of the little bits of my body covered by the blankets. Any parts not covered by the warm sheets were mostly blocked by Sasuke.

"What is it…?" I inquired in a whisper, tilting my head to the side to rest on top of the messy mound of raven hair that was Sasuke's head, not at all tensing when his hand wandered.

It took the Uchiha quite a little while to respond before finally something barely audible made its way past his lips, "Nothing…"

I chuckled very lightly while pushing my fingers through his moppy hair, "What is troubling you, Sasuke?"

"Nothing," Sasuke assured grouchily, that cold touch to his voice instantly returning once I began to pursue his thoughts. Of course because my lack of emotional capacity I could not feel the insult at his tone and simply sighed.

In a simply movement I was able to roll the Uchiha onto his back and rest my chin upon his chest, crystal blue eyes peeping up at him through white bangs, blue neko ears bent down slightly to indicate my interest in his business, "You are as easy to read as a book…"

"Hn," Sasuke looked away from me as though he were merely pained above all else, "You're the only one who can say that."

I flashed him a try at a light smirk, "Oh? Why would that be…?" while barely nuzzling my face into the crook of his neck, feeling this odd comfort at this unfamiliar closeness.

"…You're different," Sasuke sighed as my tongue slightly ran across his collar bone, poking around at his skin before slowly receding back behind my teeth, "I don't mean that in a good way."

I frowned ever so slightly but made no eye contact with the boy as my own were shut, my ears steadily picking up his heartbeat as the little felt-like ears were pressed against his skin.

"Why is that?" I asked without much tone to my voice.

What Sasuke said next did not make much sense for the situation, but that I did not know until later, "…Yasha, I'm sorry."

"Feh, you're so depressing…" Nekomata whined in the back of my head, meowing in annoyance that I decided to think a little, "Just leave the baby here and go chase Sasuke…Relieve me of the headaches that are your thoughts."

I sighed in agitation at the words of my demon, questioning why it was so rash and acted with the utmost stupidity. Maybe it was a characteristic that it had required from its present Jinchuuriki…but then again. I had no character. I was nobody. A nobody with such depressing memories that it seemed fit for someone like me. How such a happy recollection could turn into something so bitter.

Sitting outside was the one thing that allowed me a sanctuary in a comfortable zone, free of all intervention that was not Kana. Koharu seemed to know enough to provide me my own space and he bothered me none. It was only the loud twittering of birds that caused me a bothersome headache. The way they chirped made it appear almost unnatural as the high pitched squawks were following a sentence pattern.

I watched cautiously as the birds suddenly erupted from the tree tops in a hurricane of feather and fear, spreading out towards the cloudy gray sky and disappearing behind a curtain of white.

How strange it was indeed…

Yet, as it was so strange, I did nothing to necessarily move from my place even as my sensitive neko ears began to pick up on the delicate sounds being made as foot hit branch.

I stayed put; unable to feel the fear a usual person would, and simply stared. Stared with the utmost boredom at the approaching figure, Kana tightly held in my arms as she slept on, yet I was alert as any shinobi could be at this point. Whoever this was who approached my location was either in a rush to destroy some being or they were simply looking for somebody. Either way it could be made clear they were a shinobi.

Suddenly, very suddenly, the rustling and movement stopped altogether as the person ceased their movements.

My ears perked up as they searched for any audible signals of their approach; however that was not to be found. It was apparent that this one had instantly stopped…Whether it was somewhere nearby or far away I could not be precise about, though close I could presume for I felt as though there was a pair of eyes intently watching over me.

Apprehensively I spoke up, "…Who are you?"

No response.

On full alert I glared into the bustle of leaves that crowded together, clouding my vision from any approaching enemy. My first thought was to make sure that Kana was in a particularly safe area therefore that resulted in getting her out of the woodsy area and back into the shielded walls of Koharu's house.

The moment I appeared on the windowsill, too anxious to take the front door, I saw Koharu standing there looking quite baffled at my sudden entrance.

"…You uh, know there's a front door, right?" He asked slowly, his thumb jutting towards the opposite end of the house which I bluntly ignored by simply giving Koharu a cold stare, placing Yasha into his arms, though doubtfully, and disappeared back out of the window after snatching away the stolen katana.

If, in the very likely case, this was an oncoming attack from the Konoha forces, then I would have to put all my power into driving them back, even if the cold glaze on my face showed none of this odd determination. What it was exactly I was protecting, I could not say. Whether it was Kana herself or the mere memory of Sasuke she provided for me, I knew not. If I truly cared for the survival of that boy Koharu, that was left to be unsaid. I could not be certain about anything, but fight to live was what I must do.

I entered the foreground, eyes alert as they darted from side to side. My neko ears were perked up to listen for any sign of movement while my hand was gripped loosely on the cloth covered hilt of the claimed katana.

And then I saw it.

Whatever "it" was, that so brought on the appearance of something that ripped my heart apart into shreds that seemed to have already been destroyed, looked red. A bloody red orb simply floating amongst the shadows of the waning sun, the other half of the face hidden by a cloak of black shadow.

I nearly dropped my katana.

That was a sharingan.

There was no mistaking the murderous appearance that a sharingan could take on with its bloody back drop and ink black features driven onto the look. It beheld me for moments to come, and I it, hands frozen on the hilt of my blade and eyes stuck on staring directly at this sharingan.

Eventually I could not contain myself much longer.

"S-Sasuke…?" I questioned softly, lips deceiving my brain as I told myself repeatedly not to speak. Not speaking was the ultimate form of privacy and steadiness one needs to fulfill their role as a kunoichi such as myself. A stoic, uncaring neko was what I was made out to be, and so my lack of speech was there to withhold that reputation. The moment that name escaped my lips I had failed that persona.

Instantly the sharingan disappeared, and with it my hopes of communication.

Whether the move was intelligent or highly dumb I could not let the possibility of an encounter with Sasuke slip away from me. I acted as quick as anybody could have in this situation, the wind at my feet almost pushing the grass away at the force I used to sprint after this sharingan. I diverged into the leafy dungeon of the forest, the tall brown masts of bark acting as the perfect hiding places for any assaulting shinobi, the sweet aroma of the summer flowers wafting into my sensitive nose as they let out their last cries for life before the fall came, blocking out any chance of catching a scent.

I ran blindly through the foresty maze allowing my feet to simply throw me wherever they wished so long as I caught onto that sharingan user.

Unfortunately the desperation to meet up with Sasuke once again was what gave the enemy the first signal to make their assaults on me.

In the fleeting moment where all my senses were dulled there was a sudden force cracking through my spine that sent me tumbling to the ground, allowing me only a little leeway to perform a 180 spin in the air and land sloppily on my feet with my hand dragging hopelessly in front to regain balance.

When my head had bounced up to glare forward at the one who approached me I saw once again that bloody red sharingan, staring through my soul, but unfortunately what I saw beside that was not my Sasuke; simply one with a counterfeit sharingan.

"…You've followed me…?" I sighed at the depression that seemed to come so easily after this let down.

The silver haired man stared at me with almost a sad expression on his masked face, "I'm sorry Yasha, but you pose a threat…I must take you out."

I tilted my head towards the man, once again allowing my blank face to take its place upon my features, "I care not for your village…Kakashi," but that was nothing that mattered to the man for before I could even finish my sentence, Kakashi Hatake moved in for the kill.

[Okay, yeah, the entire "get kakashi mixed up for Sasuke then lets have a quarrel" thing was John's idea! You're still amazing by the way! My apologies for a somewhat sloppy chapter, but….Let's face it, we're getting closer to summer J Intention span = that of a squirrel with half a brain. Er-anyway, hope you enjoyed~
PEACE, LOVE, KIT-KATS!
-Ju. ]