... . hmm hi! Long time no see? I'm sorry I didn't update sooner! But better late than never right...? D:
To tell you the truth I'm not really satisfied with this chapter, but I decided to upload it anyway otherwise who knows when I would've updated.
I hope you enjoy it.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - Friedrich Nietzsche
3rd of May 2088
The bald professor smiled maliciously, displaying two rows of yellow teeth as the two teens in front of him stared at him with equal confused frowns, though one was more aggressive than the other.
«I'll repeat once again, you have both been calculated as compatible.»
The blonds' frown deepened still while brown eyes narrowed at his mentor.
«Compatible? Compatible for what? And most importantly, how did you run these tests?» the blond inquired as he folded his arms in front of his chest.
The old man chuckled «Compatible for creating something new. As for the tests… let's just say there's no need to worry about that, the tests are well founded,» he gave the raven a meaningful glance making the boy in turn pale drastically.
«No way, that's…» he whispered incredulously before he stared at the ground in shock.
The blond stared at the brown eyed boy «Vanitas? What is he talking about?»
Said boy shook is head before glaring at the man in front of him «It doesn't matter if he's compatible-»
The elder chuckled again before tutting as if reprimanding a child «Weren't you listening to me before? I said that both of you are compatible.»
Vanitas gritted his teeth in anger «You ran tests on me as well?» he hissed.
The man laughed as he opened his arms «Of course! I've told you many times that anyone around us can be the next generation of human kind.» he inclined his head «you should be honored.»
«Van-»
The raven-haired boy laughed sardonically «Yeah right, an honor. It would be if I didn't know how fucking painful it is.»
«Painful?» the blond asked worriedly.
«We all have to make sacrifices for the good of the many.» the man stated with a knowing smile.
The blond narrowed his eyes in annoyance as the two ignored him.
Vanitas laughed «What the fuck? What bullshit are you spewing? Good of the fucking many my goddamn ass; easy for you to say if you're not one of the fucking few, old man.»
«Can you tel-»
The elder chuckled «You've got spunk, I've always liked that about you.»
«Screw you Xehanort.»
«Minnie Maddern Fiske once said "Above all, ignore your audience".» the two males paused and stared at the blond with bemused expressions «you know, I never particularly liked that quote.» the blond ended with a sneer.
«Ventus not now.» Vanitas sighed as the Xehanort let out a throaty chuckle.
«I always thought you were interesting Ventus.» he stated, mischief twinkling in his eyes «indeed both of you will be perfect, don't you agree Even?» Xehanort turned towards man that was just entering the room.
The man had long blond bleach hair and, as he wore a critical expression he analyzed the two boys like lab rats.
«Indeed I have no doubt about Vanitas,» he stated, the mere sound of his nasal voice made Vanitas curl his lip in annoyance, «Ventus on the other hand,» he turned towards the blond with a raised eyebrow.
The blond slumped his shoulders in exasperation as he gave the man a bored look «I educated myself, to me school was boring.»
Vanitas lifted an eyebrow «Dude, seriously? Quotes? Now?» he said having heard that particular quote quite a few times.
Even frowned «What?»
The blond rolled his eyes «Shut up Vanitas,» he mumbled «and Professor Even?» nodded his heads towards the long haired man before flipping him off with both of his hands «it means, screw you asshole!»
As professor spluttered as the raven-haired boy snorted, a light frown marred his features as he suppressed his amusement; now was certainly not the time for laughter.
«Seems like this kid has spunk as well,» another man interjected.
«Nah, he just doesn't like it when things get repetitive, Braig.»
«Will you shut up Vanitas? Stop acting as if you know me!»
Vanitas's only response was a lifted eyebrow and a growing smirk.
As blond opened his mouth to retort before two hands clamped on the two boys shoulders interrupting their bickering.
«Oh yes these two will have the time of their lives, along with our other little friend.» chuckled Braig.
Ventus flinched «What are you talking about? I'm not going with you!»
«I've gotta agree with blondie this time.» he pushed Braig's hand off his shoulder forcefully. «Fuck off.»
Xehanort chuckled on the sidelines «You speak as if you have a choice.»
The blond paled and started to shake, seeing this Vanitas frowned in annoyance «Why don't you leave him out of this,» he nodded towards the blond «you probably got the results wrong, how can a moron such as him be compatible for this kind of experiment?»
As Even nodded on the sidelines Ventus gaped, is Vanitas trying to help me?
Xehanort shook his head «Oh Vanitas, you must be very desperate to help your friend if you tried to convince me with such a silly excuse,»
The said boy bit his lip as he shifted his eyes to the side.
«You know as well as I, that grades have nothing to do with it,» Xehanort continued as he gave Even a sideways glance «these experiments go beyond what measly human beings deem important.» he nodded towards a grinning Braig «do what you must.»
«Yes sir,» without warning he hit Vanitas behind the head with the back of his gun knocking him instantly unconscious.
«Vanitas!» The blond cried.
As Braig approached him he glared feverishly and tried to back away «You can't do this!»
The man before him grinned «And why not? Because it isn't fair? You've been reading too many humanistic books, kiddo.» he grabbed Ventus by the throat and slammed him against the nearest wall «Life's a bitch, and as such you should fuck her, before she fucks you up.» he harshly slammed the blond's head again against the wall.
15th June 2559
As I said before, over the centuries I've met plenty people, many of which I shared my experience back at the labs. Why would I do such a thing you might ask? Because the best way to defeat a trauma is by facing it, rationalizing it and accepting it for what it is. The worst thing you can do is trying to pretend nothing happened or even ignoring it. It's actually rare for me to actually to share my story now, for I don't really need to get over anything anymore. It happened and that's all there is to it.
In any case, I've been asked many times if I regret losing my old self after all those experiments that were done on my person.
I snort.
Especially by an extremely infuriating and annoying brunet, named Sora.
I growl, making the said brunet who was walking beside me jump in reflex as he eyes me warily, rubbing his new nose.
And frankly I think it's retarded to even ask something like that. How can you ask someone if they miss something they don't fucking remember?
I feel my eyebrow twitch.
It's like asking a guy who was born blind if he likes the color red. What the fuck?
«Hum, Vanitas?»
Stupidity is a negative thing right? So how is it that its gene seems to be so fucking popular among humanity? If god exists I'd like to say a nice screw you for making stupidity a dominant gene.
«Vani…hum … tas… you're sneering. That doesn't bode well usually. Not for me that's for sure.»
Life would be so much easier if there weren't so many morons in this world. Well actually it would be so much easier if my base biology wasn't that of a human, and it would be so much easier if human beings weren't such social creatures to begin with. Then I wouldn't feel the need to screw with people's minds all the time.
I narrow my eyes as I come to a stop
«Oh shit! He did that thing with the eyes,»
Well… what fucking ever.
I shake my head and I resume walking towards the booming noise that woke me up from my nap and made me punch Sora out of habit. On the sidelines I hear Sora sighing in relief.
I crack my knuckles.
I'm going to beat the shit out of the one responsible.
In any case returning to the matter at hand before I was fucking sidetracked; fucking stupidity disturbing my own fucking monologues.
Even if I did remember how I once was I don't think I would really give a fuck. There's a reason why I am the way I am now, and that's because whatever I was before was too weak to cope with the situation I was in back at the lab.
Evolution comes forth when a population is confronted with change and it, to survive, has to change along with it. Same goes with everything in this goddamn world, and the same applies to human beings. Sometimes life is so harsh that it requires us to make major changes to survive. I feel no qualm with such a prospective.
The way I see it, life pointed a gun at me head and demanded me to change and so, obviously, I complied. Any smart person would choose their life over their ego.
An almost foreign feeling overwhelms me making smile somewhat warmly as I think at what Ventus would say right now.
The only constant thing in life is change.
«Wow,»
Aaaand the moment was lost.
I somewhat blink at bewildered expression right in front mine.
«Just wow, were you- were you smiling?» exclaims as he walks backwards so that I don't walk right into him «it's kind of creepy but yet so… so sweet,» he screams giddily, making me sneer both at the spit that hits my cheek and the annoying grin plastered on his face «is my influence finally getting to you?»
I come to a stop with Sora stopping right after me, far to close to me for my liking.
«Sora?»
«Yes Vani?» he responds, his eyes still twinkling.
I glance leisurely at the cliff just behind the brunet.
«See ya later» I grin and before he could so much as frown in confusion I kick him in the stomach making him topple down the cliff.
«And don't call me Vani, you fucktard,» I add over the screaming insults of the falling and rolling moron.
I cackle delightfully before smoke catches my attention.
I whistle as I observe the horizon in front of me.
«Are those churches on fire?» I smirk.
«Vani,» I hear a small voice, but I ignore it.
«Seems like some change of plans are in order-»«Vani,»«whoever did this deserves a pat on the back-»«Vani,»«along with a good beating-»«Vani»«they still woke me up after all.» I feel lips stretch in my usual smirk «Vani,» and then it waivered.
«For fuck sakes what? What the fuck do you want?» I scream in anger as I finally snap. I walk towards the edge of the cliff as eye the bloody mess on the ground.
I see him smile gleefully, aggravating me further «Nothin' just wanted to piss ya off.» he says before giggling.
«Fucking- you'll be the death of yourself!»
«Ho ho ho,» he giggles further as he starts to sit up before dropping on the ground again in a fit of giggles «Nice come back!» he screams between his inane snickers as he rolls on his side.
I bare my teeth before taking a deep breath.
«What? Didn't you say that I was going to be the death of myself?» he challenges me «God does that sound weird.» he mutters.
I narrow my eyes before noticing innocent looking boulder.
«Hey Vani? Are you going all zen on me dude? That would b-Holy shi-!»
I sigh as the giggling was finally replaced with yells of pain, of course I didn't crush his head, which meant that he could still talk, but hell it's better than nothing.
Grin contently as a particularly creative insult reached my ears.
«Just the way I like it,»
«You're a sick sick bastard, Vani!» the moron bellow forced a pained laugh.
I take a deep breath through my nose before bellowing «Fuck sakes, silence!» glare at him daring him to open is mouth.
«… is golden,» he retorts after a while, I rub my forehead in frustration «but speech is silver so it's not that bad»
I roll my eyes before kicking another "pebble" over the cliff, satisfied with the pained the groan I calmly fled the scene, hoping in vain of finally ridding myself of the brat.
-o-
I lay there and just stare at the vast sky above me. It's an exceptionally nice day, if one ignores the cries of distress of the citizens of Twilight Town, but all the same, it was a really nice day. I took a deep breath before coughing up blood as my nose was clogged up with condensed blood.
I let out a heartfelt laugh before wincing slightly as pain rushed through my crushed legs and even though, somehow, I couldn't feel them at all.
«Damn,» I chuckle «Vani sure did a number on me this time,»
I contemplate whether or not I should go after him but then, I start to ignore the screams, the smoke that was curling towards the sky at the right side of my peripheral vision, that annoying pain that I have yet learned to disregard properly and just relaxed my body and let my perpetual jester like smile drop. I listen to the chirping of the birds who couldn't care less of the anguish that was running through the city like plague, I enjoy the wind that ruffles my hair and caresses my heated skin. I close my eyes and just smile.
It has been quite since I had the opportunity of being on my own.
Ever since I made the decision of following Vanitas on his journey of love, I never really had the time to contemplate what I had become; I never have time to think.
And I loved it.
This character I have built myself was wonderful.
I giggle as a my smile is replaced with my usual grin.
It was hard at first you know, not giving a shit about anything; it's not as easy as it sounds. But once you've become that kind of person, life seems so much easier. Live just for yourself and fuck the rest. That was my philosophy.
The times during which I'm sad or troubled are so incredibly rare that it makes me all the more giddy. I'm constantly happy, it's wonderful! It's strange but sometimes I'm so happy that I feel sick, funny right?
I laugh out loud before sitting up using my abdominal muscles, I stretch my arms and let out a loud yawn, and try to stand up but couldn't.
I blink before staring at boulder.
«Oh right, how could I forget,» I giggle in amusement.
I cradle my chin with my right hand and concentrate on finding an escape in a situation like this.
Usually when my limb is blocked I simply cut it off, especially because repairing a limb is a much more tedious job than rebuilding it entirely, I chuckle lightly in amusement.
But in this case there is nothing I can cut them with.
Ah well there isn't much I can do, I huff I'll just have to push the boulder off and repair them, I could use some practice.
I hate using my 'super strength' as I like to call it, it always leaves me an horrible feeling.
Basically all I had to do was fool my body in to thinking that I'm in extreme danger and letting my body feel the extreme pain that I've ironically been teaching myself to ignore. Plus I have to feel fear. Lot's of it. Fucking yay.
I frown, yeah easier said than done.
But alas there was no way around it - or so it seems. Vanitas is much better at this than me, since he's able to release both adrenaline and endorphine – though in truth all we need is adrenaline but all the same – at his own whim. Fooling your own damn body seems so lame in comparison.
Many normal human beings could pull a feat like this if the situations required it, but using such strength results in damaging our bodies, such as tearing your own muscles, popping blood vessels, breaking bones… and some in cases it could also result to death. But that isn't really problem for someone like me.
I grin before dropping to the ground, and I start concentrating.
I take a deep breath.
I think back to that dreadful day, the day where everything was stolen from me, even myself; it's cliché but I've relived this particular memory so many times that it really seems as if I lived in Destiny Islands up until yeasterday…
A little boy was running down the streets of his hometown, making the passer bys curse as they stumble when he squeezed through the many bodies that were blocking his wat. But the boy was uncaring of their anger; he wasn't going to get caught after all!
«You can run but you can't hide!» a squeaky voice taunted.
Adrenaline pumped through his small body at the challenge as he pushed his libs to run faster. He runs towards the beach and hides behind an old boat. His breath was heavy but trys to be quiet so that he wouldn't be found. He hears footsteps directly behind him but before he could run for it he is shoved face first under the warmish waters of the sea, all he could hear was a loud laugh above him before the weight above him lifted itself. Once free, he pushes himself up spluttering salty water and sand out of his mouth.
«Ugh that's icky,» the boy moans as the laugh became louder.
With a pout he turned towards the source of the laughter.
«That's not funny Riku!»
Riku doblues over and falls against the sound still laughing hard.
«Riku! I could've drowned!» the boy moans loudly as he folds his arms.
«Oh, don't be a baby!» the other child teases before pushing himself up.
«But it's true! And I have sand all over my face!» he whines.
Riku smiles teasingly before flicking some of the sand off of the boys brown hair «Then just clean yourself up, dummy!»
The brunet sticks out his tounge.
«What are you doing!» a female yelled angrily making both children jump in fright, «how many times have I told you not to run away from me!» the woman scolds.
«But mum!» the brunet whines, «me and Riku were playing tag!»
«It's Riku and I, Sora. The lord won't tollarate such bad grammar.» the woman reprimindes with a wave of a finger, «and he won't tollarate you running from me either!»
«I'm sorry,» Sora whimpers.
The mother's deminiour immediately changed as her face softened, «Oh Sora don't cry,» she said softly as she patted her sons head lovingly «I was just worried alright?» she pulls Sora in a strong hug and snuggles against his soft curly hair, «what would I do if the devil took you from me?»
The boy blushes as his friend smirks at the scene.
«Mummy you're embarrassing me,» he complains.
The woman grins as he finally releases him from her grip «Aw, are you already embarrassed of your own mother?» she pinches his cheek teasingly «My little boy is growing so fast,»
«Mum!» the boy screeches as Riku bursts into a fit of giggles.
«I'm sorry, I'm sorry,» she chuckles, «we should go now, it's almost dinner time!» she stands up brushing her skirt from sand, «Riku are you going to join us?»
The boy shook his head with a grin «Thank you ma'am but I should be going home as well,»
The mother sighed lovingly «Such a polite boy, you should learn from him Sora.»
Sora puffed his cheeks in annoyance, «well run along then dear,» continued the woman, «and send my regards to your mother!»
«Will do!»
I smile as I reminisce the past, and that was the sign that I had to bruscally change "memory section", as I like to call it, to something less… pleasant.
This section of my memories weren't very detailed, but they did get the point cross, even more than the good ones. They were concepts that's all they were.
A goodnight kiss, a caress on the cheek, sweet and loving words.
The sound of the waves, the stary night viewable from the boy's open window.
A knock.
A scream.
The boy running down the stairs in a rush, once he reached the entranced he slipped on something wet.
Red.
Lifeless eyes but somehow still filled with fear.
A cruel smile.
Pain.
I start howling in fear and pain as I frantically try to get away, I don't know from what exactly but I just want to run.
Something is blocking me, blocking my freedom, my only chance of survival.
Everything is a blur, nothing makes sense, all that matters is the chance of running far away, I hit something with all my might shattering it. I try to stand up but to no avail; I fall face first against the dirty ground, I scream in frustration as tears roll down my cheeks.
Suddenly an incredible pain fills my senses and I stare at the source, my legs.
I grab my head and try to make sense of what was happening to me.
Where's mummy? Daddy? Riku? Riku help me!
They're dead and they're never coming back, get over it. I freeze as Vanitas's words flood my mind.
I can't tell you that everything will be okay, and I can't tell you to be strong because you're mum would be proud of you because I never knew her. But I there's a reason we are here, living our lives; and I think you should keep going. My tense body slouches against the ground as I remember Reneals words and strong hug.
Slowly rationality starts creeping back in to my mind; I start differiating myself from who I am and who I wasn't anymore. I'm not stupid human kid who believes in a shitty god, I'm something more than human and my God… my God is awesome. And like my God I start laughing.
I laugh at the pain, because what was pain? I laugh at the tears, because they meant nothing. I laugh at my situation because it was funny. I laugh at my state because it was one like many others. I laugh, because that's all I can do.
Tears run down my cheeks but they are no longer tears of pain but of laughter, I wrap my arms around my stomach and curl in myself or at least I try to.
After what seems like hours I uncurl myself and lay on my back realsing one last giggle.
«Well that was fun,» I sit up and stare at my legs before turning to what used to be the boulder that blocked my limbs. I smirk at its shattered remains in satisfaction.
The costs were high, I stare at my mangled hand; its bone is shattered and it seems like blood vessels up until my arm had popped.
But the ending result was incredible.
I laugh shaking my head before setting to work in repairing my ruined limbs.
Alright, as usual please tell me what you think and if there are any typos or grammar errors please let me know :)
