Chapter 8: Betrayal

[Eh…no motivation…Just out of boredom.]

When a being is young they come to think of the world as a fairytale. As some sort of world where everything is perfect and the only thing that can go wrong is an evil presence, but that is always cleared up by the protective prince or princess. It is quite entertaining to remember those thoughts one must have had as a child. It must be exhilarating to think these things at such a young age.

For me, I never could believe in such atrocities. Such a thing as a happy ending never occurred to me even though I used to smile as though nothing in the world could touch me. I was well aware of the way the world worked and I knew somebody like me, a mere Jinchuuriki, could never attain true happiness through any means. No matter how hard I struggled there would always be an obstacle that obstructed my visions of this cheerful feeling of a fairytale.

Would it be strange to say that the thoughts I had clearly lost as a child had come back to haunt me? That for some reason whenever Sasuke was present these thoughts of this emotion some called "happiness" was accompanying the Uchiha?

Obviously not. I was a nothing. I was merely a shell of something that was not meant to be, therefore, emotions could not come miraculously flooding back to me as though it were an injection. These things called "feelings" were not anything I could understand now nor ever. When Sasuke was around I had to constantly remind myself that these cloudy feelings of anxiety were nothing to be bothered with for they were just fakes. Happiness, sadness, excitement, these feelings of being alive was nothing that could be felt by a nobody like me.

Even as I sat there holding Kana up to my bare breast, well aware that there was a male nearby, I felt nothing. I had told Sasuke to kindly leave the facility in order to allow him no sight of such a thing but I doubted it would have mattered if he saw me or not. I could feel absolutely nothing and it was about time that I came to terms with this.

Love.

Feh, what a false term. There is no such thing as love…So why was I intent on tailing Sasuke as though he held my very heart in his hands? Why did I follow him so loyally even though I knew deep within those dark eyes that forced this "love," there was darkness that was forcing me away? Why did I hope so badly that there was a connection between us that I even pushed away the blockage that clearly was there?

Was this the human half of my heart that told me to believe these things?

In spite of these thoughts that raced about my head like the yin and yang I had enough sense to be listening to what was going on around me.

A slight rustle could be heard within the abyss that was the tree tops and it was not merely the humming birds or blue jays that were scurrying about in their homes. It was far too large to be a mouse or any other of the lesser animals. Though the sun had fallen past the horizon line and left me in the waking gleam of the faint moonlight poking through the thin veil of clouds, it did not forbid me from spotting the pair of eyes glinting up in the foliage.

I tilted my head and pulled the neckline of the robe back over my chest, "…I apologize for disappointing you Sasuke, but were you perhaps staring?" I spoke up to the trees, more towards the eyes.

As though I could hear the eye roll, Sasuke replied smugly, "Hn, as if," and he gracefully made his presence known by hopping from the tree branch and landing smoothly on the ground before me, his height taking its toll on me as I stared up at him from my secluded space against the rough tree trunk. Was it me or did Sasuke look even more magnificent when it was the moonlight reflecting off his back, creating merely a silhouette of his body but showing off some darkened features upon his face?

"Oh?" I questioned softly finding it rather comical that Sasuke Uchiha would be one to be a pervert.

"I have my rights on you, it shouldn't matter," Sasuke retorted in that cocky way of his, smirking as I averted my gaze from his to stare at his feet. Usually it would have been something of an insult to have somebody put "claims" on me, especially since that was something the Hidden Cloud Village had attempted to do so by sealing Nekomata within me, however, since it was Sasuke…

"Of course you do," I sighed, shaking my head ever so slightly before I felt a familiar pair of fingers gently grip my chin and easing my head up to stare into those tunneling black orbs of his. I had not even realized that Sasuke had knelt down in front of me before I felt his lips barely glaze mine.

"Which means I can do whatever I want with you…hn?" Sasuke whispered subtly, that lightly plastered smirk on his face still boring into my mind and filling all the empty spaces. By our closeness I was a bit too mesmerized to say much other than a simple "hm," but I supposed that acted as a yes for Sasuke because he leaned forward and fully pressed his mouth onto mine.

My cold blue eyes began to melt and close as I felt him on me, a feeling that no one else but Sasuke could possibly bring me. It was not merely because I allowed no one to, though that was true as well, it was just that the way Sasuke moved and felt against me seemed to fit perfectly with the way I was. It would seem that whatever Sasuke did to appeal to me was because we had similar personas.

Though this kiss did not last long it left a lagging impression on my mind, causing me slower reactions than was usual. It took me a few moments afterwards to realize that Sasuke had backed away with an all knowing arrogant look on his face.

I inched my eyes open wearily, "…You are teasing me."

"Hn," Sasuke shrugged before rolling onto his back and laying down on the ground beside where I was sitting. His hair moved to accommodate the position as it fell down beside his face showing off all the features that brought me appeal.

If it was a smile or a frown which donned my face at the moment I could not tell, all I knew was that the muscles in my face just began waking up from a nap to form some kind of glazed expression as my stare was temporarily locked on Sasuke who appeared to be ready to go to bed himself. His eyes were just barely open, maybe making an exception for the sliver of space between his eyelids which allowed him to stare into nothing.

Nothing as in the darkness. Nothing as in the very thing that was engulfing my soul before Sasuke showed up and introduced himself to me last year. He stared into the shadows of the trees and of the blocked moon as though he were waiting for something but did not quite understand what it was he was looking for.

Without hesitation I gripped Kana firmly in my right arm as I lowered myself down to the same position Sasuke was in and put my head just close enough to allow my forehead to barely feel his shoulder. The small wounds in my stomach from the quarrel in Konoha were screaming at me to stop using my stomach muscles by the time I had made my way onto the ground and into a comfortable position. I had even forgotten about those wounds up until now…Maybe that was why I had gotten so close to losing to Kakashi Hatake.

Sasuke, displeased with my position against him, wrapped an arm around my delicate body and pressed me full against his side. This rendered the rest of my body useless while my head lolled comfortably on his shoulder.

"So…Tell me again Sasuke…" I began, not even bothering to look up at the Uchiha boy, "This Madara Uchiha…"

"What about him?"

"Were you lying about such a man?"

There was a prominent sigh that protruded from Sasuke's lips as he listened to my stupidity, "Madara Uchiha is a man you should not be messing with. I'm not lying when I say he is alive, and I'm not trying to scare you when I tell you that he's after you. I'm simply telling you as it is, either you can believe me or you can get yourself killed by not believing it. "

"….I find it interesting that you chose such a relative to make up," I mumbled as I still did not believe him. Who would?

"Would you find it interesting for me to 'make up' that he may be after your Kana too?" Sasuke suggested, the hand on my side gently gripping onto the fabrics of my garments as though the last thing that he wanted was for me to be taken by his long dead ancestor.

"Your Kana," I corrected irritably wondering why, even though he was upset about it, Sasuke would not just take responsibility for our offspring and realize it was half his problem as well. It was not as though Sasuke was dim in the head where I would have thought it easier for him just to ignore Kana, but he was a very bright shinobi. That excuse could not apply here.

"Hn, she's not my problem," The Uchiha assured, frowning as though I had just tried to force upon him a bomb.

I sighed sadly but chose to excuse it, "…Are you sure this is Madara?"

"I'm positive," Sasuke nodded as though this made it alright to believe. It was true, he seemed sincere enough about what he said, but then again, Sasuke held the same expression constantly. It would not have been any big feat of his to lie without so much as blinking an eye.

I sighed once more and pressed my face closer against his body, bringing my entire person along with it just to feel the undying pleasure of being close to my Sasuke once more.

My Sasuke. Even if he did not truly belong to me in some sense I understood that for the moment he was mine for the moment. Even if he did not love me at all I was still granted the pleasure of allowing bedding beside him. It did not matter that the ground was growing cold nor that the air sent chilly breezes past the two of us; all that mattered was the heat that was shared between our bodies, how his arm was wrapped protectively around me, holding me solidly against him. The wounds in my stomach did nothing to bother me for all I could think about was Sasuke. His touch…His feel…Was he really here again?

It was quite hard to believe, in all honesty. That one day, he who had stolen me from myself and suddenly disappeared with my last hopes for happiness, had actually returned and was allowing me to hold onto him like a life-force. I supposed that even Kana could sense my calamities abruptly vanishing as she had eased off to sleep on the other side of Sasuke where I had placed her so I could hold onto him.

Though he did not argue at all with my choice of position he seemed to still find something to say to me, "…What are you thinking?"

I kept my eyes closed while responding, too content to move. The words simply slurred out of my mouth as I began to doze off on him, "…Sasuke…What is happiness?"

"Why?" Sasuke questioned, his hand running up and down my side soothingly.

"I want to know….what it feels like to be happy…" I admitted softly, nuzzling his neck gently without any kind of expression on my face. What happiness was…There was no way for me to understand this. I had never been happy, no matter what kind of smile I used to portray upon my features. On my heart there has always been that layer of ice that keeps me from attaining true bliss.

"Yasha…" Sasuke exclaimed with a bit of surprise in his voice though it was a more upset tone, as though he were saddened by something. Perhaps it was my question?

"Do you know…?" I asked, eyes opened in bare slits as I stared blankly down at the portion of his body I could see wondering what it was that drew me to asking such an absurd question,

"Hn…Can't say I'm an expert on it…" You could almost hear his eye roll, "Supposedly it's a good feeling, I'm not sure how to describe this kind of thing to you…"

"Do you feel this happiness when you are with me?" I inquired almost feeling as though I were going to tear up any moment now. Almost. The moment I had asked this I instantly regretted saying such a thing. I sounded like such a desperate little child, one who wanted to be loved with everything she could get…But wasn't that true? I wanted Sasuke to show me this "love" and this "happiness," did I not?

"Do I-… Yasha," Sasuke sighed as though I were such an idiot to ask a question like that, like I should already know the answer. As though I should know how someone else was feeling when I could not even comprehend most emotions myself. Even so, I supposed that this happiness so many people talked about was something that Sasuke did feel…He would not have come back if he had not, correct?

"I apologize…" I mumbled wearily, not realizing how fatigued I truly was until my eyelids dropped shut and I drifted off into a rather comfortable sleep, not at all expecting anything else that would come after that.

*Sasuke's POV…Just this once.*

As it turns out, that same neko that had continued to vex me simply by being alive was now lying beside me, apologizing for questioning me on what I felt for her. I was honestly surprised that she had asked what happiness felt like. I mean, I knew that she had a hard time feeling real emotions, but I never thought that she would never have known what happiness felt like. It was most probable that she had felt the feeling before but could not identify it as happiness…Whatever her reasons were; right now they weren't my problem.

As upsetting as it was, I was not here of my own accord. As much as I wanted to be here and be a comfort zone for the neko, I was not here to be of any service to her.

It was not merely a coincidence that I had found her soon after her departure from Konoha, and it was not out of some strange lust or protectiveness that I sat day by day watching the disgusting village. It was heart wrenching to have to sit near the place where I had left that girl, it was horrible to have to only be able to watch her mope around the village in her pregnant state, simply staring off into the nothingness of the sky and know that most of her pain now was because of me…But Madara wanted the two tails.

He had promised me revenge on Konohagakure for what they did to Itachi, but that also meant that he needed all the tailed beasts. It was two tails, eight tails, and nine tails which he had failed to retrieve, and frankly Madara was quite cranky that the mere two tailed cat demon could constantly slip out of his fingers.

I had no choice but to comply with Madara's demands and wait until the moment when I could take Yasha.

Now she was asleep, vulnerable, huddled right up against me as though she would be safe there. Funny, to think that she actually trusted me enough to fall asleep there, though I could understand why she would. I had even convinced myself that I loved this strange girl all that time ago, but I now realized that there was no way I could allow someone like her to come between me and my revenge.

So why did it hurt so much to sit there and watch her knowing I would have to be her downfall?

It never would have occurred to me for Yasha to be a deep sleeper. I would have to ignore these strange emotions running through my body and wait until she was completely asleep before even making an attempt at moving her. True I was a very stealthy shinobi, moving her would be no problem, but I wanted to make sure that she knew nothing of this until we got there. If she woke up during the move…I might not be able to handle the pain from seeing what look may come about in her eyes.

Eventually her breathing had been a soft lull for about a half an hour before I picked her up and held her sleeping body in my arms with her head still resting on my chest. Her arms were tucked in that spot between her body and mine as she curled up against me, breathing a little deeper but besides that not waking.

I sighed I disappointment at what I was about to do, but couldn't let myself think twice about it.

Then I remembered that baby, was it Kana? She most likely held some of the chakra from Nekomata, chakra which Madara needed to complete the ten tails…As tedious as it was I had no choice but to bring her along.

She was sleeping like a rock as well so it was not a problem to lift her up with one arm while cradling Yasha in my other arm, though, Yasha was much bigger than that baby was.

I got both girls positioned in my arms with Kana on top of Yasha before I sighed, and despite myself, I leaned down and kissed Yasha carefully on the forehead. I couldn't explain if I loved her now…but I did know that I cared for her. Did I not care about her enough that I would carry her straight to her death with a ruthless man such as Madara?

I supposed so.

Either way, shoving these thoughts into the back of my mind I took off towards one of the Akatsuki bases, careful not to wake Yasha lest she know too soon about my betrayal.

She would know in the morning.