I do not own D. Gray man!
Chapter 1: A promise
"A curse just like mine?" Kanda replied. He couldn't stop the words from flowing out of his mouth. It was just too much of a shock. "Do you even know what type of curse I am talking about here?" He pondered, some annoyance mingled in his tone.
"Naturally." Allen replied, watching the man opposite him.
"Then prove it." Kanda spat out, disliking the character in front of him by every second. Was he trying to play a game?
"I received mine from Lenalee." Allen explained. From the facial expression on Kanda's face, that explanation was good enough. He turned his back to the man and his horse was paced around.
"Her again huh?" He finally said. "How I've longed to kill her." Allen said nothing to Kanda's comment primarily because he thought he was talking to himself more to Allen. A light flurry began to fall on the two strangers as well as the dead bodies surrounding them. Kanda knew all too well that the bodies would soon be covered and no one would see the world of the living again. They would be locked into the world of ice—the world Lenalee ruled over. Allen got on his horse and Kanda looked up at him.
"Will you come with me?" Allen asked, slowing his horse down. Kanda looked surprised at his question.
"Why?" Kanda replied. "I have no reason to live. I might as well stay here until the ice freezes my heart."
"That may all be true," Allen began, steering his steed over to the lifeless person. "However, I still have a purpose for you." Kanda looked up. "I want you to help me kill Lenalee. I will give you anything you desire." Silence fell before them.
"I'm sorry, but no." Kanda said eyeing Allen. "I have no reason to kill her, for it was her originally that killed me. If you wish to do so, fine by me, but please leave me here, it is the only solitude I have left." Allen, who shrugged his shoulders, kicked the sides of his horse and ran off. The snowfall, which was falling more heavily, now quickly erased the faint figure of Allen from Kanda's views.
A reason to live.
A reason to fight.
Allen Walker gave him a reason. To continue breathing and he threw it away because life itself no longer interested him. Squatting down on to his original spot, which was now covered with a few centimeters of snow, he pondered all of this as he closed his eyes.
"You want power, you want strength and yet you tried again and again to accomplish this, why?" His master asked him. Kanda, putting down his blade followed his teacher to a more private room in his Japanese styled house.
"Because master." Kanda could manage. It was a complex situation and it was also difficult to explain it to someone so old as his master. His master could sense it was along these lines that Kanda was thinking.
"You think that because I am old and grey that I have never experienced the things you have, right? How old are you know my son, twelve?" Kanda nodded and he kneeled down.
"And you have found someone who has opened your heart, is that not so?" His master asked, turning his back to a red faced Kanda.
"Yes. Master." Kanda muttered, looking away. It always amazed him on how much his master knew.
"It's that new family that has moved to town, right?" His master continued. "What's their name? The Lee's?"
"Uh…" Kanda began.
"Yes, I know Komui. A very nice and thoughtful family indeed. I believe they also have a daughter around your age. Lenalee was that it?"
"Yes." Kanda said.
"Good," His master concluded, pouring himself and Kanda some green tea. "Now that we've got that settled, I would like to go back to the original question. You want to get strong, why?" The master got Kanda there. There was no point in trying to hide it. And so, Kanda spoke.
"Lenalee, she's fragile. And she's suffered a lot. The loss of her mother and father." Kanda began.
"Yes." Answered his teacher. "She's an older version of yourself, don't you see?"
"And I feel sorry for her. I want to be strong to protect her." Kanda blinked and then blushed. "I'm sorry sir if that sounds…silly." Shaking his head, his teacher sipped his tea and handed Kanda's his own.
"To protect someone you love is not stupid at all, though there will be many people who would discourage feelings such as love to their students. However, love is something that everyone experiences once in their lifetime."
"But I want to get stronger!" Kanda protested. "I need to get stronger…for her." His teacher got up and picked up a sheathed sword on his wall. He gave it to Kanda.
"Do you know what this is?" He asked. Kanda shock his head. "Open it." Kanda did as told and the most elegant crafted sword he has ever see was in his hands. "What does is mean master?" Kanda asked pointing to the words.
"Ah," His master smiled and read, "Excito ut servo, strike to serve. Kanda, this sword is only powerful when you make it powerful. Not by the strength of your arms, but the strength of your heart, which only by loving others will increase that strength. I give this sword to you, no, no complaints and I wish for you to get stronger by following its carved motto."
"Yes master. I will get stronger. I promise."
--
Kanda opened his eyes to the bitter whiteness again. These memories, which he suppressed for two years, finally began to unravel. He thought they would at one point anyway. Still, it would be great just to remain back in those days, to where he was innocent and curious. It was also were he was foolish to fall for a thing called 'love'. Lenalee. That name still brought pain to his heart every time he thought of her.
Lenalee. The cause of all his problems.
Lenalee. The cause of all his strength.
How ironic was the girl he knew and loved.
How ironic indeed.
"You thought you could save me?" Lenalee mocked standing on his master's withered body. "Do you know, dear Kanda how much that amuses me. You actually cared for someone like me when I despised someone like you. A weak fool that followed his lowly heart instead of his mind."
"No." Kanda muttered in shock. Tears ran down uncontrollably. "Master."
"Yes." Lenalee smiled as she stabbed the sword straight through his body again. "It was sad wasn't it? A fool died a fool's death Kanda, always remember that."
"Dammit! I wanted to be strong for you!" Kanda yelled out, gripping the sword in his hand.
"Yes, but you didn't did you? You know why? Because you're human, a mortal and they can never be 'strong'. But," She added. "I can make you stronger Kanda, because I am not from this world of yours." Her eyes flashed white as she smiled. She raised her sword. "You still want to become strong right, only this time to kill me." She threw the sword into Kanda's chest and he yelled out. Immediately it burned as black flames spread from the wound.
"Maybe this curse will satisfy your needs." Lenalee smirked and ran away leaving Kanda in the midst of chaos.
--
Kanda snapped his eyes open again. Yes. That was what happened two years ago. That cursed night. He wanted to kill Lenalee that night, but his heart said no. Even now he wanted to see her scream in pain as he did night after night after night. All because of her! Why didn't he join Allen in his quest?
Because he loved her.
And what a stupid reason was that. He thought he got rid of all his emotions especially love. But its residue still remained on his mind. He got up and grabbed his sword. All over his skin was red, burning from the frosty air in the same way on that night. And then, he began to walk in the same direction that Allen went. He was going to kill her for he knew that the thought of her was going to destroy him.
--
How long has he been walking? He no longer felt his feet nor his legs. The wind ceased to give up and acted in every way a barrier against his destination. So this what was going to kill him. The weather.
Perfect.
Digging his Muygen (sword) into the hard snow, he pulled himself further to continue walking. Don't think about the cold, about the numbness or about regret, he kept thinking to himself. Think about moving forward. Use every ounce of your energy to move forward. It came to a point where his body refused to cooperate and began to shut down. His heart rate slowed down and his breaths were shallower. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was happening. Death was at his doorstep.
--
"I knew you would come." The voice echoed over and over again in his head, almost to a point where he found it unbearable. Shaking his head, he opened his eyes to see Allen staring back at him.
"…Where am I?" Kanda asked. Allen stared hard at Kanda before casually replying that he was 'safe'. Kanda looked up at the ceiling. Damp rock stared back. They were in a cave, which shielded them from the iciness outside.
"Are you thirsty?" Allen asked after some timed had passed. Kanda, too tired to say anything shock his head slightly. Allen remained seated on the rock. "I guess you should ask how I came to find you." Allen began, glancing at the fire to the left and threw a piece of wood in that direction. Immediately the flames licked it clean. "I'll tell you the truth it was some gamble." He stopped, as Kanda's eyelids were closed, hesitant to know if he was sleeping or not.
"I'm listening." Kanda replied hoarsely. Allen nodded and continued.
"I had a feeling that you, for some reason would change your mind and so I decided that I would stop at the nearest shelter, which happened to be this cave, and wait for you. It indeed was a huge gamble. I have resources only for a few days. If you had come any later, I would have left, in need of more resources and you would have died in the snow, which, I presume would not have been a big loss to yourself, since you seek death." Allen got off the rock and walked towards Kanda, placing something warm on his forehead, most probably a hot water bottle.
"My sword." Kanda muttered through his parched lips.
"I got it here." Allen said as Kanda heard a click of metal against the rock. "So are you coming with me to destroy Lenalee?" Kanda struggled to smile. "I don't really have a choice do I?" He replied.
"Not really." Allen said in an all-knowing way. "But you need to rest first."
"…I have something to ask you." Kanda started again. "Something like a condition." He added as Allen arched an eyebrow.
"Yes, I'm listening." Allen answered back, and seated himself beside Kanda's bed. Kanda slowly opened his eyes and again stared at the ceiling, thinking of how he should tell his companion this.
"I'll come with you to destroy Lenalee." He began. Pausing to regain his energy. "However, in return, after I have helped you to erase Lenalee from all existence, I want you…" He breathed in again, "To be the one to kill me."
Silence.
"That is the only way I'll help you." Kanda added, closing his eyes. "I have no reason for this life and I can't go on living with this curse."
"But," Allen protested. "Once you defeat Lenalee, your curse will be broken! We can live normally again."
"Not me," Kanda sighed. "That life was gone, as soon as that sword pieced my flesh."
"I won't do it." Allen said firmly, "I can't." Kanda opened his eyes and turned his head to face Allen. His eyes were hard and cold.
"You will," Kanda snapped back. "Or I'll kill you."
--
Well that's the end of chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it and please leave a review, believe me it really helps! :D It inspires writers like me, especially for this type of story. If you like D. Gray man, perhaps you could read a chapter of my comedy, Kanda's Journal. I promise it will not be as depressing :D.
Thanks again.
~Itachianimefan.
