Alpha

I ran across the schoolyard as the bell rang, I made it to class just in time. I hurried to my seat in the back next to Angela. We had Spanish together in the morning. She smiled at me when I came to sit down next to her.

"Hi" I said a little out of breath.

"Hi Bella." She whispered back. Mr. Scott had already started the lesson.

Class was a pain, I hadn't slept much due to coming home so late and having Jacob in my bed, plus the dream, so I was really tired. I almost fell asleep several times. Angela surreptitiously nudged me every time I was drifting, and for that I was grateful.

Aside from my weariness I was also lost in my own thoughts. I was thinking of the dream from last night, it had been so different from my other dreams. Just when I thought that the emptiness would take over, there was Jacob. Maybe this meant that I was getting over Edward…

I knew that wasn´t true as soon as I thought of it. I would never get over him. His voice, his beautiful face and his scent which… which… I couldn´t remember. I panicked. I couldn´t remember what he´d smelled like. I scrambled my brain but it just wasn´t there. I was forgetting, and it scared me.

All I had left of him were my memories and now they were fading more and more for every day that went by. Just when I was about to scream I remembered, he´d had the most wonderful smell in the world. The relief of remembering was overpowered by the feeling of abandonment, my chest started aching.

Then there was Jacob, who loved me. He was out there, risking his life. Hunting the vampire that wanted to kill me, slowly.

Sorrow, love, guilt and fear. My brain was swimming; surely this was enough to drive anyone crazy. I put my head down on my bench and I was so out of it that I didn´t even notice when the bell rang at the end of class.

"Bella?" Angela's voice was low and cautious. "Bella, class is over."

I looked up at her a little dazed. "What?" I took a look around the room which was almost emptied of students.

"Oh." I stood up and took my books.

Angela gave me a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I´m fine just tired. Let´s go" I pulled her along out of the classroom. She seemed concerned but she didn´t say anything. Angela was great that way. Jessica though, not so much.

When we got to our lockers, she was standing there eagerly throwing herself into a story about her latest date with Mike which had been, according to her, the greatest night ever. He had taken her to this restaurant…

I stopped listening properly after a while, and tried to focus on getting the right books for my next class.

"Bella, hello. Are you listening to me?" I looked up, Jessica seemed annoyed.

"Sorry Jess. What did you say?"

When she saw my face tired from last class's emotional hurricane her expression quickly changed. "Oh my god Bella. You look horrible."

"Well thanks." I muttered. "I didn't sleep much last night and I had the strangest dream."

"Really, about what?" Jessica's voice was curious.

"You know I don't really remember." Anyone would have detected the false note in my voice.

"You must remember something…"

Angela interrupted her then. "Jess, we should really go, we don´t want to be late for class."

Jessica looked at me and then back at Angela. "Fine, let´s go."

I exhaled in relief and gave Angela a thankful look.

"See you at lunch." Jess called as they walked away.

I walked to my next class, a million different things on my mind.

All of a sudden I was sitting at our usual lunch table, not really sure how I´d gotten there.

Everybody was there; Lauren. Tyler and Eric were all here. Angela was sitting next to me with Ben at her other side. Just as I looked up, Mike and Jessica came to join us.

"Hey guys." Angela said.

"Did your class end later or something? It has been lunch for forever." Lauren said in a superior voice. It sounded more like an accusation than a question.

Yeah, I really didn´t like Lauren, and ever since I´d started going out with Jacob… Well let´s just say it hadn´t exactly help things between us.

"No." Mike answered, with no explanation. Jessica looked down blushing.

On a more perceptive I probably would have figured out what all that was about but… not today.

I had so many things on my mind. I didn´t even realize that Angela was talking to me and she had to repeat her question three times before I noticed. She was sitting next to me and whispered quietly so that the others wouldn´t hear.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella?" I could hear she was just worried and not looking for gossip, I really wanted to tell her everything but what could I say; ´Oh you now I'm just worrying about my werewolf boyfriend who's out chasing a vampire who wants to kill me because my ex-boyfriend/vampire killed her mate. SO NO I'M NOT OKAY.`

"Fine, just tired." I said instead.

I don't think she bought it, but she saw my reluctance so she didn´t push it. Instead she turned back to Ben who sat reading, leaving me to my own thoughts.

I turned my head to look down on my tray of uneaten food and tried to think of nothing, it didn't work. My mind was filled with Jacob, finding Victoria, fighting Victoria. I shivered. Why couldn't my bad luck focus on me, for once? Or better yet why couldn't my bad luck just leave me alone. Hadn't I suffered enough, hadn't the people I loved been through enough because of me. Maybe this was karma, but then again maybe not. Because I couldn't remember killing anyone!

Suddenly I got mad and I just wanted to hit something. I clenched my fist under the table. I wanted to find Victoria and kill her myself, watch her take her last breath… I unclenched my fist, what was I thinking. Surely this must be a reaction to the lack of sleep and worrying like crazy for Jacob.

Someone came up behind me. The person put their hand over my eyes. At first I froze, and then I heard a familiar husky voice say. "Guess who?"

He chuckled and released me, then he came to sit down on the bench next to me.

"Jacob." I sighed in relief and threw my arms around him. He hugged me back.

"How is it going Jake?" Mike said.

"It's all good. Very good in fact." Jacob answered with a smile.

"Any special reason for visiting today?" Ben asked.

"Yes. Yes there is. I just need to talk to Bella for a second." He looked at me.

"Okay." I said as he pulled me for my seat and out the door.

"Wonder what that was about?" I heard Jessica ask before we were out the door.

It was cold outside and I was a little annoyed as it was. "What's this about Jake?" I said tiredly.

"Bella. I have great news. I didn't want to tell you until I was more sure, but we've looked through the entire continent, and we couldn't find a trail anywhere, not a fresh one anyway. I mean she would always run far but never so far and I just think that maybe…"

He was talking really fast and his words started to slur together. "Hey, slow down Jake. What are you saying?"

He cleared his throat and tried to make himself speak slower. "Victoria, we can't find a trace of her anywhere. I think she might have given up." He gave me a big smile.

"Isn't that great?" He said and picked me up in one of his bear hugs. He spun me around, then when I didn't rejoice with him he sat me down.

"Don't you see Bella. You don't have to worry anymore. She isn't going to bother you anymore. Of course we'll still keep an eye on things to make sure it wasn't a trick. But I don't think it was. I really think she's given up."

My mind started to work slowly. Jake thought Victoria had given up that there was absolutely nothing to worry about. I didn't.

"Bella?"

"I… I don't know what to say Jake."

"You don't think she's given up do you?" He asked, smile wiped from his face. How easy he knew what I thought.

"No Jake, it's not that. Well that too, but I just don't want to get false hope now to have it crushed when she comes back."

"But she isn't coming back."

"How about we give a few weeks first, huh?" I said.

"Fine." He answered but not quite letting me suppress his good mood. "But then when it turns out she really is gone. Will you please be happy with me?"

"I will." I said and smiled. "If it turns out she's gone."

"When…" he corrected me and then he said," I have to go now. Sam's expecting me back. Tell Mike I'll come by after school to help him with his car."

"Okay." I said and he leant down to kiss me goodbye. I took a deep breath and went back inside.

I went to sit down at the table again. Even if I didn't believe that she'd given up I still felt a lot better. I guess I'd let myself hope. Or maybe it was the fact that Jacob was so happy and surely this had to mean that he wouldn't be risking his life every day anymore.

"What was that all about?" Angela asked with a smile looking towards the place Jake and I had stood talking.

I smiled back. "Jacob just had some good news and he wanted to tell me right away."

"What news?" Ben said as he looked up from his book.

"Nothing you'd understand. Something had happened in La Push." I was careful to keep it the truth so that my not so brilliant lying skills wouldn't show.

"Oh. Okay."

"By the way Mike…" I said remembering Jacob's message. "Jake wanted me to tell you that he's coming by after school, to take a look at your car."

"Okay. Good." Mike said. "It's kind of annoying to walk to school."

"Are you free tonight then, Bella?" Angela asked. "Ben is going out with some friends leaving me stranded at home. And Jessica's going out. Maybe we could do something?"

I sighed, I hadn't forgotten about Emily's wedding, or the fact that I'd said I'd be her maid of honor, though I'd tried not to think about the whole ordeal. "No, Ang I'm not. Sorry. I'm going over to Emily's, to help her with her wedding."

"They've set a date for the wedding?" Angela asked exited.

"Yeah" I answered her. "It's actually quite soon. June the 20th."

"Wow, that is soon. It's like what, five weeks or something?" Jessica marveled.

"Yeah."

"Wow, so soon. Doesn't it usually take longer than that to pull a wedding together?" she asked.

"I don't know." I answered her. I didn't know how to plan a wedding or how long it took. "But she wants to keep it small, just family and close friends." I added.

"'Kay" She said.

"So, I'm sorry Angela, I can't tonight but maybe some other day." I said.

"Yeah." She said a little down.

"Maybe this weekend instead." I said. "We could watch a movie or something."

"Yeah, this weekend." She agreed with a smile.

The guys who had quickly tuned out of our conversation when wedding talk started, now turned to join the conversation again.

"Movie?" Mike said. "Maybe we could all go."

"Yeah." Jessica said. "Why don't we."

"I'm in." Ben said.

"Me too," Angela said, then she added. "You could invite Jacob, Bella."

"I'll ask him." I agreed. "What do you guys want to see? I heard about a new romantic comedy coming out soon."

"Please not a chick flick." Mike complained.

"I hear you." Ben concurred.

"Well, I'm not sitting through another mindless action movie." Jessica said.

"I think we should see something scary." Angela said.

The movie talk lasted all through lunch, without anything being decided.

After school, Mike and I walked together to the parking lot. Jacob was there leaning against his car (that he'd built himself).

"Hey, guys." He said as we came up to him. Then he caught me in his arms.

"Can't breathe Jake." I panted.

He laughed and set me down. "So are you ready to go Mike?"

"Yes, and thanks again for doing this." Mike answered.

"No problem, man."

"I'll see you later Jake, I'm going to Emily's place to help out." I said and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"See you."

I got home late that night and the house was dark. Emily and I had gotten the wedding invitations done. And then we'd moved on to looking for dresses and wedding cakes.

Now I was dragging my feet up the stairs, it was only ten but I was exhausted.

I could hear Charlie's snores as I walked into my room and turned the light on.

I jumped three feet in the air and let out a loud gasp in shock.

Jacob was sitting on my bed his legs crossed.

When he saw my reaction he laughed quietly. "I didn't scare you did I? That was not my intentions at all." The sarcasm was clear in his voice.

I took a breath to calm myself,"No not at all." I answered ironically. "I was totally prepared for someone sitting on my bed."

"How did you get in here?"

"You don't lock your window."

"Right." It was so easy to forget that Jacob was a werewolf sometimes, and the fact that he could climb up to my two story window. He'd always be just Jacob to me.

I was still standing in the doorway to my room and Jacob motioned for me to sit down next to him.

I came to sit down, and his expression turned serious. For a moment he just stared into my eyes. I looked back at him, after a minute my patience was out.

"What is it Jake?"

He seemed to come back to reality. "I have something to tell you."

"O…kay" I said. "What?"

"It has something to do with the other day. You know when Sam wanted to talk to me."

Ahh, the mystery of the conversation he'd had with Sam the other night. "Shoot." I said eager to know what had gone down between them.

"Well… Now that Sam is getting married and having a kid he doesn't exactly want to… you know."

"What?"

"Uhm… he doesn't want to be the Alpha so well he kinda asked me too. In fact he's giving up running around as a wolf altogether. I didn't tell you before 'cause I hadn't decided what I was going to do yet but now I know and I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to say yes I mean I can't abandon the guys and I totally get why Sam would want to quit and it's not like it's going to be a big deal or anything I'm just gonna decide more and…"

He was talking so fast that his words were starting to slur, and he didn't make any sense.

"Shh.." I said trying to calm him. He stopped talking and looked apologetically at me.

"Slow down Jake. Take a breath." He did as I said and then looked at me with guilty eyes. "So what do you think?" He said.

"I don't know." I told him honestly. "Alpha huh…?" I was trying to organize my thoughts. "But I thought you didn't want to be Alpha?"

"No, not really, but it is my responsibility, and I can't let the guys down."

He sounded like he was trying to convince himself too. "Are you absolutely sure?" I asked.

"Yes." There was no doubt in his voice.

"Well okay… great then." I said and smiled.

"Really…?" He said. "You're not upset?"

"No I'm not upset, a little surprised but not upset. If this is what you think is right for you and the pack, then I say it's great. Besides I think you'd make a great Alpha."

"I really hope I will." He said concerned.

"I know you will. Chief Jacob." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled back. "I love you."

"Love you too." I said, and even though I wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even myself every time I said those words my thoughts wondered to Edward.