Torn

I probably resembled a drowned cat standing out in the rain like I did, and Alice froze as she saw my face. Seconds ticked by and neither she nor I said anything, surprised to see each other.

She looked just the same as I remembered her, with spiky black hair, and she was unsurprisingly dressed in an outfit that looked like it suited the runway. I tried to peek in through the door to see if the others were there but there was no one in sight. The grand piano stood where it always had, and there was no sign in the house that the family had been gone for several months. Everything looked the same, no sheets over the furniture, no dust, nothing.

I looked back at Alice who was staring at me with a baffled expression. Suddenly she broke the silence and yelled in her high musical voice, "You're alive, Bella!" And she threw her arms around me.

I was surprised to have her in my arms but I hugged her back, she was my sister in so many ways and I had missed her terribly. Still, this seemed a strange reaction, of course I was alive. But as I looked into the house I saw four white figures who flashed into sight at her words. They were all wide eyed, like they too were surprised to see me breathing. But my eyes didn't stay long at these people who I'd once considered my family. They flew to a fifth person stepping into the room.

His face was more beautiful than I remembered and my heart took flight, every feature in his smooth face was beautiful. But he had rings under his eyes which were black from thirst and he looked miserable. This wasn't right I thought, and I pulled my brows together searching his eyes for the cause of his misery.

When our eyes met he lit up and was just as shocked as the rest of them. Alice let me go and danced over to stand next to Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett who were all standing by the stairs looking at me with warmth. But my eyes were locked on Edward, and he was standing still, but a smile was spreading on his lips.

I couldn't figure out what was going on, and what events would set off this reaction in them to my presence here. All I knew in this moment was that the months apart meant nothing to me, and the love I felt for Edward had not weakened. It filled me with adoration, standing here with him right in front of me, seeing as that wonderful crooked smiled spread across his magnificently beautiful face.

Although Edward couldn't read my mind he could read Jasper's, and Jasper must have felt the love and desire rolling of me in waves as I looked into Edward's topaz eyes. Edward's eyes were on me, but for a second they strayed to Jasper, and my worries were confirmed.

This was embarrassing, I thought. Coming back here after he'd made it very clear that he didn't want me in his life, and now standing here in the doorway with his entire family(minus Rosalie) staring at me like I was a ghost.

"I shouldn't have come." I stuttered and I started to turn for the door.

"Wait…" It was the voice of an angel who made me stop and turn back, and he was looking at me as if I was going to disappear at any second. His voice made my heart race and I knew every vampire in the room could hear it, it was humiliating.

He stared at me with sadness in his eyes, and then he was a blur and suddenly he was standing right in front of me. I froze and he lifted his hands to take a strand of wet hair lightly between his fingers and tuck it behind my ear. There was no sound in the room except my heart beating, and I couldn't move. I was on fire from his touch and I wanted so badly to reach out and touch his face, to ensure that he really was here and that it wasn't a dream.

He gazed into my eyes and whispered with a smile. "You're alive."

Then he kissed me, it was sudden and passionate, and it took me by surprise. My response was automatic, not a choice, or even a want, it was need. My whole body was on fire and I pressed myself to him, feeling his cold body against mine, with my arms around his neck. I wasn't aware of his family standing there or the rain coming through the open door, all that existed was Edward. It felt like I was coming up to breathe after being under water for a long time, and I twinned my fingers into his hair.

Suddenly I was aware of another existent, Jacob… I froze and put my hands on his shoulders and shoved. He was a million times stronger than me so it wouldn't have work, but he felt the change in my mood and let me push him away. "Stop!" I exclaimed.

He stared, surprised, at my face and I didn't know what he saw there because my mind was spinning, thoughts going around in circles. He looked worried and tried to take a step towards me. I put my hands up. "No." I simply said. "No"

Alice and the others were watching me try to collect my thoughts while panting, a little lightheaded from the kiss.

"I love you." Edward whispered.

"No!" I yelled. They all jumped at the sound. "No, you don't." I stated, and then continued. "You told me you didn't love me, that you were leaving and never coming back. That it would be like you never existed." My voice broke on the last words, I was trying to understand what was happening but nothing made sense. What was his? Why were they back, and what was the kiss about?

"Don't you see Bella, I was lying. I knew I had to leave to give you a better life and it killed me that you believed me so easily, how could I ever stop loving you. I convinced myself to stay away but every minute apart was agony." His looked at the floor somber.

I couldn't believe it, everything I'd believed to be true hadn't been. My whole existence for the last couple of months had been based on a lied.

I was suddenly angry and I shook my head "What?" I said really upset now. I thought about what I'd said to Jacob about forgiving Edward, but that was when I'd thought he'd left me because he didn't want to be with me anymore. But he did want to be with me, he just thought I would be better off without him, but that wasn't his decision to make. "You lied?" I said furious.

"I'm sorry Bella." He pleaded. "But I thought it was for the best, and I knew if I could just stay away you would be able to lead a normal, safe and happy life."

"SAFE? NORMAL? Happy..?" I yelled thinking of all the times I'd tucked my arms around myself to not fall apart from the pain and misery, then there were the werewolves and Victoria. As I thought of the pain, I suddenly realized that the hole in my chest that had been tormenting me for months was now completely gone. Standing here with Edward close enough to touch I didn't feel it anymore. Not like it was healed but as if there hadn't been a hole there in the first place. All that pain for nothing I thought, how could he hurt me like that? But another pain was making itself known, the pain of having my heart torn apart by the love for two men. A love that was bigger than life itself.

"My life has been everything but happy, normal and safe!" I was so angry, but then something occurred to me, he had come back.

"Why didn't you then?" I challenged. "Stay away, I mean. If you thought it was for the best." After all he had come back, and although I wanted to believe that it was because he couldn't live another second without me, I felt like there was something else going on.

"Well…" He said, hesitant to answer. This seemed odd to me, why would he be unsure.

After exchanging a long look with both Alice and Carlisle he finally continued. "Alice had a vision. I guess it didn't come true or maybe she saw it wrong, but she saw you in the woods with Victoria, and Victoria was launching to kill you." He shivered at this image, and then he continued. "We all thought you died, and that Victoria had killed you." He swallowed hard, this hadn't been easy for him, I could see it in his face.

I then remember a conversation he and I had had about what he would do if I died and so I took his pause as an opportunity to speak. "Why did you come here then? Why didn't you go to Italy?" I was grateful for his decision to come here instead of going to the Volturi to have himself killed. But I still wanted to know because I couldn't bring myself to believe that he really did love me after spending moths thinking he didn't even care about me anymore.

He was surprised at my question, probably thinking I wouldn't remember what he'd said that night. "I wanted to." He admitted. "But Alice and the others wouldn't let me, so they convinced me to come back here instead. Alice wanted to come back to help Charlie with the arrangements." His eyes were on the floor.

Well at least it explained why Alice had gone to see Charlie, but not why she hadn't seen Jacob save me.

"We should probably stay here a while to take care of Victoria for you, so she doesn't come here and poses a threat to you or Charlie." Edward said, and then continued. "We can't let anything happen to you or Charlie because of us."

He seemed determined and it was clear that none of them knew that Victoria had been tormenting me and the city for months now.

I started to laugh, and they all looked at me like I'd gone insane, and I had. "You want to stay and protect me from Victoria." I laughed. "You're just a few months too late, and you shouldn't bother, she's gone now."

"What do you mean? How?" Alice asked, and they were all looking at me with puzzled expressions. I wished I hadn't said that, I didn't want to explain about Jacob and the wolves, but now I knew I had to. I was feeling a little smug though that Edward had left me to keep me safe and I'd started hanging out with werewolves. There was a small part of me who wanted him to know that, but mostly I didn't want to explain. There was also the matter of my heart being torn apart as we spoke, I couldn't explain to the love of my life about the other love of my life.

"It's not important." I began. "She's gone now and that's all that matters." I knew it wouldn't help, they would press the information out of me, but still I hoped they would let it go.

"It is important! What do you mean she's gone, how is that possible?" It was Edward who asked, and hearing his angel voice filled me with such love, but at the same time rage surged through me and the two emotions were overpowering me and I couldn't move or speak. Edward looked at me with a perplexed expression, I knew Jasper was picking up on my emotions and Edward was listening in.

I tried to gather myself and took a deep breath. It was then I realize I was still standing in the doorway, rain coming in through the open door.

Without saying anything I walked in through the door closing it behind me. I looked around and went to sit at the stool beside the grand piano, where I'd sat when Edward had played me my lullaby the day I'd come here for the first time.

The others followed but kept their distance, it was only Edward who followed me all the way and he stood in front of the piano with his arms crossed.

"Explain." He said plainly, but his voice was still so beautiful.

I looked down at the piano keys touching them lightly with my fingers trying to find a good place to start. I didn't want Edward to know about me and Jacob, because finding out today that he'd left me to protect me and still loved me, I strangely felt like I had cheated on him by being with Jacob. And also I didn't know if Jacob would be okay with me talking about the pack with vampires. I also felt that if I didn't tell him, I was cheating Jacob. Then I felt an obligation to Edward to tell him there were werewolves in Forks again. This made me confused at where my responsibilities lay, and I was unsure how to start. After thinking for a long time, and many looks from Edward telling me to speed up, I eventually decided to tell them about the wolves but not about Jacob's and my relationship.

"Well…" I finally said, looking at Edward. "A while after you left I was feeling… down. Then I started hanging out with an old childhood friend. He was… nice, and he became my best friend. Then I went out to our meadow one day and I ran into Laurent…" They all stared wide eyed at me now, but Edward had a pained expression probably trying to picture me and Laurent in that meadow. "He was hungry and would have killed me if they hadn't come to my rescue." I hurried along so they couldn't ask who they were. "Then Victoria came here wanting to revenge Laurent's and James' death. She would have found me and killed me right away if not for them keeping guard. But at graduation they let their guard down and I was drunk so I wandered off into the woods. Victoria was there ready to pounce. This was probably the scene Alice saw in her vision, but I don't understand why she didn't see them save me." I stopped abruptly. I had told them everything except for who they were, and I knew what the follow up question would be.

"Who…" Edward started but Emmett interrupted him with a laugh. "You were drunk Bella?" He laughed. Edward looked at him sternly, but I smiled, I'd forgotten how much I liked Emmett. "Not really the point Emmett." Edward said, and then he continued. "Who are they Bella?"

I sighed, might as well tell them and get it over with. "Jacob Black, Sam Uley, Quil Ateara, Embry Call, Paul Lahote, and Jared Cameron." I said slowly watching every name sink in. Most of them had been here to make the treaty with their great grandfathers, so I knew it was only a matter of time before one of them made the connection.

Edward was first, or maybe he'd read it in someone else's mind.

"WEREWOLVES?" He yelled, and in that second Jacob walked through the door.