A/N: I am so rusty. I'm so so so so so sorry.
This story is EIGHT years old, holy crap. And I'm still haunted by never finishing it (I am also amazed to see it still averages at least 50 hits every month _ ). So here. I went through and edited all the past chapters, getting myself back into the mode of it, and now I'm presenting this…forgive me and enjoy.
Also, not italicized, but definitely part of the "past" storyline.
Listen to "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" by Brand New to get the full power of the lyrics
You Can Never Go Home Again
Interlude: You Are The Blood In My Veins
If it makes you less sad
I will die by your hand
I hope you find out what you want
I already know what I am
Love is not.
But it can be.
He didn't wake up in love. He didn't wake up in like. There was no sudden realization that hey, Sasuke was beautiful. He just…was. There was no moment where cupid's arrow struck. Instead, there was a life that simply evolved.
Maybe it wasn't even love.
But it was something. It was an existence. That thin line between 'love' and 'hate'. Because he wanted to be a moment.
Naruto just wanted to be.
And if it makes you less sad
We'll start talking again
And you can tell me how vile
I already know that I am
The wound was drawing blood. Shit, that was going to scar. He issued a low growl and spun, looking angrily through the bushes. When he got his hands on that stupid blonde boy…
He froze as orange shot through his vision, then ducked, barely missing the blond barreling through the trees. This move, apparently, confused Naruto. Sasuke smirked and swung out.
Fist met flesh in a silent noise that pushed an "Ooof!" out of Naruto just before he ate dirt.
There was silence for a minute, and when it became apparent the blonde wasn't going to get up quickly, Sasuke lent his weight to a tree, tentatively touching the wound on his arm.
"Ne, Sasuke…" Naruto sounded winded still, "If you never kill Itachi-"
Sasuke's eyes shot into daggers and stared at Naruto's prone figure.
"What would you do?"
He stared at him until the blonde rolled over and looked at him, before answering "Never is not an option."
"Then what will you do in the meantime?"
I'll grow old
And start acting my age
I'll be a brand new day
In a life that you hate
There was never a time where Sasuke thought of Naruto as 'handsome' or 'beautiful' or even 'attractive'. But there were moments, rare (but still he knew they existed) where Naruto would wisen up. Where his eyes would take on a blue that seemed so much older than the teen's self.
In moments where Naruto would let his guard down, they could be lonely together. Because they were. It wasn't the same type of lonely, and it never would be, but it was something they had in common.
Sometimes Sasuke wondered what would have happened to both of them had they not been chosen for Team 7. He figured he'd either be ANBU or dead at this point. And Naruto…there were so many offshoots for Naruto.
Sasuke never lied to himself. Naruto was different. As much as he hated (furiously, passionately hated) to think it, deep down, he could feel Naruto was…special, even if sometimes that ended with 'Ed'. But Naruto was going to be something to people.
Even if at the moment all he was, was a nuisance.
And Sasuke would see it, sometimes. In words, in actions.
And sometimes he wondered if he'd regret it.
Allies were useful.
Friends were dangerous.
A crown of gold
A heart that's harder than stone
And it hurts a whole lot
But it's missed when it's gone
It seemed somehow appropriate that it was raining the first time he'd kissed Sasuke. Well…the first REAL time…and he TECHNICALLY hadn't kissed Sasuke...And it wasn't just raining. It was pouring. It was torrential, flooding rains that Konoha occasionally suffered in the wet season.
The practice field was more dangerous than normal, as Naruto balanced on a branch in one of the many trees surrounding the clearing, catching his breath. There was the soft movement of fabric, barely audible above the rainfall, and he had barely an instant to dodge the kunai that landed in the tree where his shoulder had been.
He growled softly. Stupid Sasuke-teme.
He rolled around the trunk of another tree and glanced up at the sky, wishing the rain would stop. But, he supposed, he could see the point in continuing training. Not all battles were won in bright sunny weather.
He slipped a kunai out of his holster and held his breath, hunting. Kyuubi purred and warmed him a little against the cold setting into his wet clothing, then directed his attention to neon-pink hair. Naruto smirked.
Perfect. She wasn't even paying attention to the fight, she was busy talking to Kakashi-sensei. Not that she had been part of this current hunt for the Uchiha anyway. He grinned wildly to himself and darted for closer trees.
Careful. Take aim. Wait for the moment to strike.
"I swear to god, Naruto, if you try anything…"
Damn it, how did she know? He frowned. Oh well.
"Too late, dobe."
Naruto turned just in time to be slammed into the tree by an arm with all the weight of the Uchiha behind it.
Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
"I can't believe you resorted to kicking him in the shin." Sakura sent a leveled glare at the blonde as she applied salve to a cut on Sasuke's cheek. Said blonde only grinned.
"Was worth it."
"Yeah, well, I think this game is over for today." She straightened and looked out into the rain from the shelter they'd taken under a massive tree, "I should get home, the water's getting kind of high in the lake."
"Couldn't agree more, Sakura-chan." Kakashi chirped, appearing from nowhere, his ever-present book shoved under his arm, "The town will be shutting down soon, the rain is getting to be a little too much." He glanced at the boys, "I'm sure the ramen stand will be closing soon too."
Naruto paled. Oh no. What would he do for dinner? On queue, his stomach lurched and let out a loud growl. There was a sigh from the black-haired boy and a muttered, "Usuratonkachi." that made the blonde look at Sasuke who only rolled his eyes.
Sakura rose, dusting herself off, then offered a hand to Sasuke, who blatantly ignored it and pushed himself to his feet, sending a dark look at Naruto as pain flared in his bruised shin. Sakura sighed and glanced at Kakashi, who nodded to her, "Have a good night, boys. I'll see you tomorrow!" Then darted towards the exit of the training grounds.
Kakashi didn't even try to hide his bored expression as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Stay out of trouble tonight, eh, Naruto? I'd rather not have to go hunt you down and dig you out of your hole in this weather." He popped open his side pouch and his eye crinkled as he smiled at the second book tucked safely away in it, "I have better things to do."
"Me? What about this bastard?" Naruto took up a defensive stand and pointed at Sasuke, who only looked bored.
Kakashi shrugged and closed his pouch again, "Just stay out of trouble." And then was gone.
The rain echoed through the trees, the branches rustling with the wind and the weight. Naruto listened to it for a moment, ignoring the presence that had yet to leave, before putting his hands on his hips and inhaling deeply.
"Well then," and started forward into the rain, "see you later, tem-"
A hand grabbed the back of his collar and swung him around, throwing him towards a tree and releasing a startled noise from him as he spun his weight just in time to barely brush the tree. He looked up, startled, a snarl on his lips, "What the hell was that-"
But the black-haired boy was on him again, kunai raised and aimed, he barely had a chance to dodge and draw one of his own before the sound of metal on metal joined the soft sound of rain, an explosion of sparks as Sasuke smiled and let red bleed into his eyes, "You can't possibly be out of energy yet, dobe."
"But…Ichiraku…"
"I'm not done beating the crap out of you yet."
Naruto's eyes flashed, and he rolled to avoid another charge, "Beating me? Ha! Never!"
"Always."
He frowned and dodged once more, then lifted his kunai and brought in his own attack.
From the treetops, Kakashi watched the two for a moment longer, then sighed and went to find a quiet shelter to read his book, hoping the two wouldn't kill each other.
I'm glad you that can forgive
Only hoping as time goes
You can forget
The hollows of the Uchiha District rang low and long with the rain, and it all kind of weirded Naruto out. He wasn't really sure what he was doing here, following the red of the Uchiha symbol on the back of Sasuke's shirt through the darkness. The sun had gone down during their drawn-out practice, and he was worn out, hungry, and covered in dirt and blood.
The Uchiha wasn't much better off, his hair matted from the rain and a trail of blood slinking down the back of his arm. The Kyuubi piqued some interest at the scent, then settled down again at the though of rain, which was just fine with Naruto. The fight had been fun, made him remember why he liked Sasuke's companionship. Maybe that was why he'd accepted the soft invite.
He'd barely heard the others voice with the invite, between heavy pants. The quiet invitation to eat with his best friend on a cold, empty night.
He couldn't blame the others quietness in the request. Who'd want to admit to living in this silence? Especially someone as stubborn as Sasuke.
Sasuke's house loomed ahead, formal and dark, and he noticed Sasuke's pace slowed, allowing him to catch up to him. He smiled a little to himself and fell into step beside him as they made their way up the walkway, the warmth of another person making the rain seem less cold.
And when Sasuke let them in, Naruto pushed the ghosts out the door as he asked, "So what kind of Ramen do you have?"
Sasuke huffed and muttered something sounding much like, "dobe." before vanishing towards the kitchen.
Naruto kicked off his shoes and grinned to himself, before following.
If it makes you less sad
I'll move out of the state
You can keep to yourself
I'll keep out of your way
It wasn't ramen for dinner, to Naruto's dismay, but some sort of spicy meat that burned his tongue and almost made him regret coming over. But he hadn't guessed Sasuke had a knack for making tea, and the honey-flavored one he served with dinner soothed the burn and settled the knots in his stomach.
The kitchen was quiet as they ate, and Naruto swore he'd caught Sasuke watching him. He ignored the glances and focused on the tiles bordering the kitchen, wondering what it had been like with a full family occupying the space. A full clan to fall back on.
"My father was the cook." Sasuke's dark voice broke the silence. Naruto crinkled his nose at the thought of an older Sasuke-like man in an apron running the kitchen, "He was good at it. My mother was horrible and almost burned down the house once."
Naruto let the words settle in the dimly lit space, before he ventured, "What's it like? To have a family?"
Sasuke was silent for a long time, rolling his silverware on the table, then said, "Not like this."
Lightning flashed.
Naruto knew that answer already.
He glanced up, and caught black eyes, before the thunder boomed and the lights went out.
From the shadows, he heard "Can you stay over tonight?"
And if it makes you less sad
I'll take your pictures all down
Every picture you paint
I will paint myself out
Sasuke was a soft red glow, from the ball of chakra he'd summoned to act as a light through the dark building. Naruto trailed behind as they headed for the stairs and up to a part of the house he had never been to, his blue eyes making out the forms of frames on the walls. Some were empty, others were torn and repaired, like Sasuke had tried to keep as much of his family as he could.
Naruto smiled softly to himself, despite being unable to make out the forms in the photos, he felt almost comforted by the thought. His attention turned to the silent shadow ahead of him again. Something was off with his best friend/nemesis, but he couldn't quite figure out what. Maybe he had hit him too hard at the training field. Doubtful, but maybe.
Sasuke pushed a door open, and grunted, "Clean up, I'll find some spare clothes." Then continued down the hallway. Naruto stuck his tongue out at him, and waited while the light faded for his eyes to adjust to the darkness before daring to venture into what turned out to be a bathroom.
Well, he wasn't comfortable enough to take a shower, but he managed to find the sink and a towel and stripped himself of his shirt. He was just wiping down his stomach when there was a soft noise at the door and he turned, finding Sasuke with his ball of light and a small pile of clothes in his arms.
Sasuke was quiet for a moment, eyes unreadable, then tossed the clothes towards him, "I don't know if those will fit…you're a little fatter than me."
"Hey!" Whatever the moment was that was hiding in those shadowed eyes broke with the insult and Naruto felt a little better as he picked the fabric off the floor, and pouted, "I'm not fat, I'm just not a skinny little pole like you." He flexed an arm, "See? Muscle."
"Tche, whatever. Hurry up, dobe." And Sasuke vanished out the door again.
Naruto grinned to himself. So maybe he was making too much of this. He glanced at his dim reflection in the mirror and tugged the shirt on and quickly changed into the shorts - must have been Sasuke's fathers or something…maybe Itachi's…because they were too big for him and long, hanging past his knees.
"Ne, Sasuke?" He called out as he turned and skidded on the hardwood floors into the hallway, "They really are muscle! Wanna feel em?" He grinned and flexed both his arms at the darkness.
A door down the hall was softly glowing, so he made his way down there, when there was no reply.
It's as cold as a tomb
And it's dark in your room
When I sneak to your bed
To pour salt in your wounds
Sasuke put out the light, and shoved the blankets on his queen-sized bed back, ignoring the elephant in the hallway's remark about his muscles. Why had he asked the blonde to stay? A little thunderstorm normally didn't bother him.
But lightning flashed, and he winced, quickly wiping it away when the blonde paraded into the room, arms still flexed. Sasuke rolled his eyes and dug out a pillow, throwing it at the blonde's face.
White teeth and the annoying grin, an imprint in his vision as the night faded back into darkness.
Why did he ask him to stay?
He sat down on his own side and blatantly ignored what the other was babbling about. Nothing useful, he knew. He watched the figure move, smirking as the shadow stumbled and fell face-first into the bed, barely missing his own knee.
"Graceful."
That grin, he didn't need lightning to know it existed.
And he knew why Naruto was there. The calm in the storm. The eye of the hurricane. The piece of mind he needed in this empty house.
The cure to his nightmares (or so he hoped)
And then he did something foolish, something he hadn't thought about or pondered on. He just…simply did it.
So call it quits
Or get a grip
Say you wanted a solution
You just wanted to be missed
Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
Salty, a little cold, and awkward. Not the most romantic way to describe what he was tasting. And as soon as he had done it, and realized he had done it, he retreated. He watched the shadow in the dark, the 'o' the other's lips turned into as the blonde rolled onto his stomach, then sat up.
Confusion. And panic set in. What was he doing? Naruto made a noise.
So, he leaned in and did it again.
Just to shut him up.
I'm glad that you can forgive
I'm only hoping as time goes
You can forget
So you can forget
You can forget
Sasuke was avoiding him. He grinned to himself. It kind of sucked, since Sasuke was his main source of conversation (or sound board for him to talk to), but it was entertaining to know why said raven-haired boy was avoiding him.
You are calm and reposed
Let your beauty unfold
Pale white like the skin
Stretched over your bones
Avoided, it gave him time to observe. Most of the time, he probably wouldn't, but this...this was different. He needed to figure it out, like he was sure the raven was trying to do. It was simple, and yet oh so complex, sitting next to Sakura-chan while Kakashi rambled on about So-and-So in his stupid book, when they should have been working on stealth-strategy. Uchiha was in a tree, one leg casually draped, the other holding up his elbow, and was staring out at the forest.
The elbow in his armpit reminded him not to stare, and the blonde dragged his eyes away to a confused-looking Sakura. He simply grinned and rubbed the back of his head, then broke into Kakashi-sensei's rant by rising, "You know, Kakashi-sensei, we have better things to be doing if you aren't going to teach us anything that's going to get us into ANBU."
Kakashi blinked, then his eye drooped in disappointment, but nodded and straightened, "Well, right then..." he coughed, "I guess we'll just call it a da-"
There was a rush of wind, and the older nin blinked, looked up into the tree and frowned. Sasuke was gone.
"A day."
He frowned and the blonde was gone as well.
Sakura looked around, then settled back, smiling to herself.
"Did I miss something?"
"Probably, sensei. Probably." She uprooted a dandelion and smiled at the yellow flower fondly, "But it's all alright."
Spring keeps you ever close
You are second hand smoke
You are so fragile and thin
Standing trial for your sins
"What do you want, baka?"
"Absolutely nothing, teme."
"Then stop following me."
"Can't."
He found them at the top of the Hokage monument. A fitting place to be, rivals for the title. An appropriate place for a show-down. Naruto was pretty proud of how 'cool' he figured he looked, with the wind whipping around him, standing down his nemesis. Answers. He wanted answers to questions he couldn't figure out. Like why Sasuke wasn't looking at him now. Wouldn't face this head-on.
The raven bowed his head, turned ever so slightly, "Don't get attached, it didn't mean anything."
He couldn't help laughing, "Right. Because you do that all the time."
"Momentary weakness."
"Needing someone isn't a weakness."
"I don't need anyone."
Right. He didn't have to say it, and let the lie hang in the air between them.
"Ninja don't need anyone. Can't, anyway. No mortal attachments."
The blonde let him speak, watched the thin, tall figure as the sun began to fall, beginning to turn him into shadows before his eyes.
"We must be silent, we must be the night. Be smoke in the darkness, gone before it's seen."
"Are you going to go somewhere?"
"Maybe."
"Can't I go with?"
Holding onto yourself the best you can
You are the smell before the rain
You are the blood in my veins
Sasuke laughed, hollow, like the shadows in his mansion, "No attachments, Uzumaki. Too hard to let go."
"Who says you have to let go?" Naruto stepped up to stand beside him, "Maybe it'll all work out. Afterall, I'm going to be Hokage, I need someone I can trust to guard me."
Sasuke smirked, "Like you'd last ten seconds."
"Without you? Probably not."
Sasuke finally looked at him, eyes unreadable again. Not hollow, but heavy. Laden with something...and Naruto desperately wished he could figure it out. Instead, he grinned. Maybe there wouldn't be enough time, maybe he wouldn't be able to figure it out. But he knew one thing, in this moment.
So he leaned over, and did what he wanted to do.
And Sasuke didn't even try to stop him.
Call me a safe bet
I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad that you can forgive
I'm only hoping as time goes
You can forget
Fin.
I again apologize ..over and over and over. Hopefully this makes it up to the 250+ that have this story on follow still (boggles my mind) _
