Chapter 23: Trust Doesn't Come Easily
Max PoV
"Seth?"
We were sitting on a log on the beach. Just watching the waves crash onto the sand. The sun had set ages ago and stars were beginning to come out.
"Mm-Hm?"
"Can I trust you?"
He turned to me in shock, staring at me to see why I would ask something like that.
"I... Well... Yeah."
I stared at him.
"That's actually quite unnerving, you know."
"Sorry." I looked away. "I need to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone. You have to promise me."
"Sure. I promise." He said easily, without giving it a moment's thought. Boy would he regret that.
"I'm sorry about this, you're gonna hate me, but I can't hold it in anymore! I need to tell someone..." I trailed off.
"Tell someone what?"
"I lied." I said softly. "Whatever I said the plan was, well, it was a lie. I couldn't, can't tell everyone what my real plan is. They need to keep away, so they won't get hurt. So I need your help. But it would go against everyone else."
He sighed. "I'll listen. I'm not saying I agree! Just that I'll listen to what you have to say."
"Thank you. Right. Well, um... I'm going to...Give myself over to the Volturi. It's as simple as that. I'm going to go and meet them. Then... You know how I said my childhood was... Disturbed?" He nodded. "Well, I actually can't remember most of it. It's sort of like a self-defence mechanism. If I could remember it all, I'd probably go completely mad and end up pushing a shopping trolley round the streets of New York. Or I'd throw myself off a bridge."
He laughed slightly at that.
"But, Edward says that Aro can read every thought and feeling a person's ever had, right? So if he were to read mine..."
"It would drive him mad." Seth said, grinning. "Max, that's brilliant!"
I laughed humourlessly. "If he sees everything at once, it will all build up, and be too much for his brain to handle. It'll kill him on the spot."
"That's perfect! So why can't you tell the others?" He looked at me, confused.
"They'd never let me do it."
"Why not?"
Because they're too damn protective.
"There's a ninety-nine percent chance that..." I swallowed, "That I won't be coming back. That it'll kill me too. I would have to break down all the barriers between me and the memories. All the barriers that have been protecting me. They're so strong; he could never get through them. So I'd have to take them all down. Exposing me to everything that has ever happened to me in the process."
"What? And you think I'm gonna let you do it?" He sounded amazed, sounded like I was being stupid.
I probably was.
"Seth, just listen. It's my job to protect those kids. I'll do anything to make sure nothing hurts them. Anything."
"You really care about them."
"Seth... They're my family. No freaking duh I really care about them. I love them."
"So what do you want me to do?"
"Well... I need a way to get away without anybody thinking too much of it. I thought through some options and, well, I thought that you could maybe.... Suggest that... They turn me into a Vampire?"
"But Max! I can't do that!" He jumped to his feet and started pacing in front of me.
"Why not?" I asked hotly, standing up too, hands on hips. "It's simple, all you have to do is suggest that they change me into a Vampire, and then convince them to think about it. I'll pretend I'm scared, and run away. It'll all be over before they have a hope of finding me."
"Yes. And then they'll kill me!" He said slowly, like he was talking to a little kid. I wanted to slap him so badly. "First the Flock will have Angel control me to murder myself, and then the Cullens will bring me back so that Alice can kill me. Then again for Emmett, and then Esme, Carlisle, Edward, Edward and finally Jasper."
"You said Edward twice."
"Once for Bella."
"Ah. Jasper isn't that fond of me; my feelings confuse him."
"Yes, but he'll catch everyone else's mood. And after Jasper, they'll hand me to Fang so he can have his shot." Seth visibly shuddered at that, and I had to agree with him.
"Not if you tell them it was completely my idea, and I made you do it."
"Yeah, and how do you propose you make me do it?" He said smugly, smirking.
I smirked right back at him.
He raised an eyebrow as I stepped close to him. I smoothed my face, creating an aura of complete and utter innocence. Smiling angelically at him, like Angel would, I stood on my tip-toes and leaned even closer.
"I have my ways..." I whispered in his ear.
He swallowed.
I then used my very persuasive smile, the one that I save for special occasions. Like when I want Fang's chocolate bar.
Seth stared at me. His knees buckled, and he collapsed back onto the log.
I smirked again, falling back into my usual self. "That's how."
He closed his eyes.
I'm sure I heard him mutter, "Breathe Seth, just breathe."
Ignoring it I asked the life or death, literally, question; "So will you help me?"
He looked up at me, sighed again, and then nodded.
"Thanks." I whispered, no good at mushy crap.
"We better be getting back."
"Yeah." My throat had gone all dry. I could feel fear creeping through me.
The walk back to the house was both too long, and too short.
Too long, because my brain had time to give me the thousand and one reasons this was a bad idea.
Too short, because every step brought me closer to my death. I suppose it could even be called suicide.
"Here we go." Seth mumbled as we approached the house. "No turning back now. You scared?"
"Yep."
"Me too." He nodded then, taking my hand, walked with me across the lawn to the front door.
Can I really do this? I asked myself. Am I really that selfless?
To be perfectly honest, I didn't think so.
