Chapter 58 - Busted
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Selina strode into sickbay with all the subtlety of a magnetar flare. "What exactly are you trying to hide this time, Fafhrd?"
"Hide?" he asked as innocently as possible.
She pointed at the biomonitor. "Your health seems to have declined precipitously."
Sorenson bit his lip and glanced at Christine. "Not exactly the nurturing type, is she?"
"Don't look at me for sympathy." Christine said. "And if you don't at least finish that piece of toast, patient confidentiality is going right out the airlock."
He looked from the tall blonde to the tall brunette, both frowning at him from opposite sides of his bed. Somehow, he could not help feeling that if he were anyone else, a scene involving two beautiful women standing at his bedside would look differently. Selina cocked an eyebrow at him and put her hands on her hips. He sunk down and pulled the blanket over his face.
Selina and Christine exchanged a look, grabbed the corners of the blanket and pulled it back down. Selina leaned in until she was practically nose to nose with him. "Well?"
He closed his eyes. "Sorry, no one here but us chickens."
"Look at me, Fafhrd." There was a distinct edge in her voice.
"Selina," Spock said. "Do you not think that he has endured enough interrogation?"
She whirled to face Spock. "An excellent point. Since you have clearly conspired in this charade, you can inform me of what is going on." She held a hand up in what would have been a ritual request if the look in her eye did not clearly indicate that only one response to that request would be at all acceptable.
Spock inclined his head in acquiescence and allowed her to see what he had observed, trying to emphasize how well Allen was coping on his own.
And you agreed to help hide this from me?
His concern was not unfounded. You had already demonstrated that you would not refrain from placing yourself at risk.
You could have told me. I would have respected his wishes.
It was not possible for Spock to entirely mask how unlikely he found that statement. You are not good at taking no for an answer.
On the contrary, this ruse would not have worked if I were not far too good at it.
Only within a very limited context.
There was the mental impression of a raised eyebrow.
But one upon which I understand that I am not permitted to comment. Spock demurred.
Selina pulled back from the link with Spock and turned to Fafhrd. He looked almost contrite.
"You've given me at least as much reason to worry as I've given you. I will let you in. I even sort of want to." A corner of his mouth tugged a little sideways. "Just not yet."
"You should have told me. I dislike being deceived, especially under the pretext of our agreement."
"And I dislike the idea of you coming to harm because of me. I can handle a lot." He looked up at her reprovingly. "A lot more than you think, in fact; but not that."
"I do not doubt your ability, Fafhrd, but I wish you would permit me to help."
He reached out and clasped her hand. "There are other ways you could help, you know."
"When you are ready, we are going to have a long discussion about the terms and limitations of our agreement." She interlaced her fingers with his and took a seat beside the bed. "However, first, we are going to get you well, which requires that you regain your strength. You will eat."
"Really, I -"
"Fafhrd, do not make me call your mother."
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"Snap out of it, Jim. You're drooling in your hash-browns - which also aren't on your diet either by the way."
"Jeez, Bones. If I looked under your ass, I bet I'd find an egg."
"As long as you don't eat it." Bones growled. "Bad enough I have to keep you from straight up killing yourself with all the stupid shit you pull, but I've got to stop you from committing slow suicide by fat and cholesterol too."
"Hey, I shouldn't need to watch my diet yet. I'm not an old man, like you."
McCoy grinned. "You're just jealous you can't compete with someone who's got a little maturity."
"Oh, I don't know about that..." Jim curled his fingers in, casually inspecting his nails.
Bones looked at him suspiciously. "What?"
"Let's just say she made it known who she preferred while we were waiting to start the questioning." Jim flashed his very best It-is-so-awesome-to-be-me grin.
"You're full of it." Bones scoffed.
"Okay, but I just wanted to give you fair warning before you start hearing it around the ship..."
"Hearin' what around the ship, Jim?" Bones wasn't at full Death Glare, but his expression was definitely DEFCON 2.
"Just that she kissed me and told Maldi I'm the one she loves." Jim said casually.
DEFCON 1 flashed for a second, but then a light went off and McCoy sat back and smirked. "If that wasn't a sting, I'm a Klingon's uncle."
Jim deflated slightly. "Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that it was a really good kiss. And I made her laugh."
"Kissing you made her laugh? Now that I believe."
"It wasn't like that." Jim's grin went sideways. "Well, not exactly anyway. But she has a really great laugh, and she sort of stayed in my head afterward and she was a lot friendlier talking mind-to-mind." The trademark grin returned full force. "I think she kind of likes me."
"Oh for the love of Pete!" Bones rolled his eyes. "She didn't punch you out for whatever you were thinking, and in Jim-world this counts as liking you?"
"What can I say? There's only so long she could hold out against my natural charm." Jim happily speared a forkful of eggs. "Just giving you fair warning."
Bones briefly considered beating some sense into him with own hash-browns, but settled for a malicious grin. "So...are you going to give Spock fair warning too, cause with those ears, he'll hear it around the ship before I do."
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When Jim and Bones returned to sickbay, Sorenson wore a long-suffering look as Selina held a hand to his forehead.
"There is a biomonitor, you know?" he said. "I promise, I haven't fiddled with it again."
Jim could almost see the thundercloud forming over Bones' head. "What's this about you fiddlin' with the biomonitor?" the doctor demanded advancing on his patient.
Sorenson held his hands up in surrender. "Please, I've already gotten the lecture." He looked from Selina to Chapel. "Twice. Can we just skip to the threats-of-bodily-harm-if-I-ever-do-it-again portion of the program?"
"Good choice." Jim laughed. "That's Bones' best routine."
Selina's head snapped around. "Is that coffee, Jim? What an excellent idea. Give it here."
"I've been drinking this one, but as long as you don't mind sharing germs..." Jim grinned slyly, handing it over.
"It is not for me." she said. "I have seen just the smell nearly revive Fafhrd from the dead. But bring a fresh cup: black, strong, one sugar."
Sorenson looked mortified. "Grey, you realize you're ordering the flagship's Captain to fetch me coffee?"
Jim couldn't help laughing. "It's okay. Admirals can do that. But before I go, where's Spock?"
"Since it doesn't look like anyone is going to release me anytime soon," Allen looked at Bones, who shook his head. "I gave Spock some tips on snagging a voice print and he's gone to try his hand at safe-cracking."
"So you're recruiting my XO for your band of thieves now?"
"I dunno." Sorenson grinned at Selina. "Think he's ready to join the gang, Bonnie?"
"We shall have to see how he does with the safe, Clyde." She raised a thoughtful eyebrow. "Of course, Vulcan honesty may be an issue."
"It'd never work." Bones added. "I just can't picture Spock toting an ancient machine gun."
"Okay, okay." Jim held up a hand. "It was a dumb suspicion."
"No hard feelings." Sorenson shrugged wearily. "Frankly, for all I can remember about it, you could be right."
"You seriously don't remember?" Jim asked.
Allen shook his head. "Those circuits seem to be fried."
"Fried...fried apples! You always eat those." Selina clapped her hands. "Jim, add them to the order."
Allen covered his eyes. "Grey..."
"You can't stop an Admiral from giving orders." Jim chuckled. He drew himself to attention. "Anything else, ma'am?"
"Yes. Oatmeal with cinnamon." Selina signaled 'dismissed' with a small smile.
"Aye, ma'am." Jim saluted and did a parade turn.
As the doors closed behind him, he could hear Chapel laughing and Bones' asking, "I don't suppose you could drop by to visit around time for annual physicals?..."
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Jim had dutifully returned to sickbay, tray in hand (and gotten to tell Hikaru that Selina had asked him to bring her breakfast!), but had fled soon afterward. Selina, as it turned out, did not so much do mother hen as mother bear. Sorenson had looked very much like he wished he could bolt like the deer he was named for and Jim had left him to his fate on the excuse of needing to see what Spock had discovered. Now he was watching his XO making final adjustments to a program on his tricorder.
"I believe this should sufficiently replicate the pass code." Spock triggered the feed to the safe's sensor and it opened with a satisfying 'snick', revealing seven datachips, which Spock carefully extracted. His brows drew down as he examined them. "I shall bring these back to the Enterprise to decrypt them. However, while it is probable that they contain valuable information, based upon the date codes, it is unlikely that the record we seek is here."
Kirk frowned. "But this is what Selina saw when I asked Maldi about his proof for claiming your friend ripped him off."
Spock's eyebrows rose slightly. "As I understand it, she also determined that he provided no proof under interrogation. Perhaps one of these contains the data that led Maldi to suspect Cmdr. Sorenson. One can draw a false conclusion from reading surface thoughts almost as easily as from over-hearing a conversation."
"I was hoping reading his mind was a little more accurate than that."
"She did accurately locate Maldi's private records and identify the trap on the lock. If actually probing his mind were permitted, that might reveal the location of the interrogation record. However, even then you must realize that the accuracy of any information derived would only be as good as his own memories and assumptions." Spock placed the datachips in his tricorder pouch. "For instance, only a day ago someone probing his mind for information would have come away believing that Ms. Chandri and I were lovers, in much the same way someone over-hearing certain conversations today might draw what I assume to be an equally erroneous conclusion."
Jim wasn't entirely sure whether to feel relieved by that assumption or insulted. Spock stood, hands behind his back in a relaxed posture, and one eyebrow just barely higher than the other, plainly waiting for a response. Even if (maybe because) Spock was right, insulted was winning. "Why are you assuming that conclusion is wrong?"
"To the best of my knowledge, you only became acquainted with Ms. Chandri when she repelled your advances at the bar eight days ago." Something seemed to pull at the one corner of Spock's mouth. "Therefore rumors of a long-standing affair seemed unlikely at best."
Jim smiled and shook his head. "Impeccable logic as always, Spock." He wondered if he'd hear laughter if he could get in Spock's head.
"Thank you, Captain. I hope that my kinswoman did not cause you any undue discomfort." Spock's expression was so deadpan he almost looked amused.
"Definitely no discomfort. In fact, I'm kinda hoping I played along well enough to become her go-to guy for that sort of thing." Jim grinned.
One eyebrow ascended. "I believe the appropriate earth phrase is 'I would not hold my breath'."
Now Jim was sure that he'd hear at least chuckle. He laughed for both of them.
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AN: AN: Mostly fluff, but I'm chasing kids around my parents' house and watching Phineas and Ferb (couldn't figure out how to legitimately put a platypus into the story, but it was tempting).
Magnetar flares are so bright, from earth they look like massive explosions in space.
One of the dumbest (but quite funny) TOS episodes has Spock dressed as a gangster toting a machine gun. Actually, the look works for Nimoy!Spock. But Nimoy played a few gangsters before landing the role as Spock.
