Chapter 5

Oz… Where is my Oz?

Gilbert was floating through the air. When he opened his eyes only darkness stretched before him.

Where is my Oz?

He was not aware of the words coming out of his mouth to echo soundlessly in the space around him. He was not aware of his own hand reaching outward as an image flashed above him. There was Oz, smiling at his younger self.

But that is no longer me…

He was seventeen now... It had been three years since he had last seen Oz.

Where is my Oz?

The picture blinked out, and another took its place. It was him again, green eyes sparkling, and then closing as he smiled.

How I love my master's smile.

There had never been any denial when it came to his feelings for his master… His friend.

Gilbert felt himself smile, his eye lids closing slowly. It felt good just to wander in the world of nothingness. He could be with Oz here. He would never have to return to reality.

Suddenly, Oz screamed. Gilbert's eyes shot open as he watching in horror as a dark shadow overtook Oz, who was screaming one name over and over again. His name.

Gil!

Oz!

Gilbert was about to reach up again, to comfort the golden haired teen, but then he froze. The shadow had taken a form now. It was shaped like a man, about his height, with curly black hair and golden eyes.

Oz… No!

It was himself. He was the one causing his master pain.

Gilbert opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out no matter how hard he tried. He could not move, he was slowly fading away from his image. He had to get back, he had to stop –

Bang!

Gilbert froze yet again. He looked down at his hands, they were soaked in blood.

"NO!"

Gilbert shot up in bed, his body drenched in cold sweat. He was gasping for breath when he looked down at his hands. They had been red before, but now they were clean. He buried his face in his hands as his ragged breath choked into sobs. How many people had he killed already? How much blood stained his hands?

He was a monster now, and Oz did not deserve a monster.

"Young master?" Gilbert felt his shoulders tense Sebastian stopped outside of his door, wrapping his knuckles softly against the wood. He called out for him again. "Is something wrong?"

Yes.

Gilbert's sobbing suddenly subsided, and he let his mind go blank. He lowed his hands and bent his head so that his bangs fell into his eyes. He did not answer Sebastian, only sat there staring blankly down at his lap.

"Young master," said Sebastian again. "may I come in?"

"Yes."

What was he doing? He did not want that creepy butler in here just to make him feel worse… Or did he?

The door on the other side of the room creaked softly as Sebastian stepped into the room holding a candle for light. He flickering flame cast the man's face into half shadow, that the light made his eyes seem redder than ever.

This did not scare Gilbert, it only numbed him more. He could only guess what he looked like in the man's eyes as he approached him. He wanted to see some sort of emotion flicker across Sebastian's face like the candle light, but it remained blank.

"Sebastian." Gilbert heard himself say calmly. "What are your limits as my butler?"

"I will do whatever my young master wishes me to do."

He sounded like he was reciting the phrase from memory.

The Nightray smirked, and met Sebastian's eyes with the same cold, almost playful gaze. "Alright then: distract me."

Somewhere deep in his mind, a voice that spoke common sense still remained.

What?! Are you out of your mind?! It said, but Gilbert pushed it aside. He had to feel something… The nightmare had left him numb, empty. He did not want emotions, just physical feeling.

"I am afraid you will have to be a little more specific than that, Young Master." Sebastian said with a slight smirk.

Gilbert blinked once, and then looked away from Sebastian back down to his lap. "Distract me. Make me feel something. I don't care what, just make me feel."

He should have been afraid when the butler chucked softly under his breath and gently put down the candle he was holding on the nightstand. He should have been afraid when Sebastian move closer to him and snaked his cool, cloth covered fingers around to the back of Gilbert's neck. His eyes widened slightly as he felt warm lips press themselves against his. But then, his eyes closed slowly, and he melted into the cold, cocky, ill fated kiss that was Sebastian's.

Sebastian pushed him backwards without a word, and Gilbert did nothing to protect. He moaned rather loudly when he felt his nightshirt being unbuttoned, gentle fingertips tracing slightly over his skin. Something warm and wet sliding against the base of Gilbert's neck made him moan again and he reached up to wrap her arms around the man above him. He heard Sebastian chucked again and felt the other kiss him as a hand slid downward into Gilbert's pants.

Gilbert threw his head back and moaned a second time as he slowly lost himself in the touches and caresses that Sebastian was giving to him.

For a moment he felt sharp pain as something penetrated him, and then the world went white as pleasure coursed through his body. He opened his mouth and let out a scream that was quickly silenced when something covered his mouth with their own. It must have been Sebastian's, because a moment later he head his whisper something in his ear.

"Shh… We must not wake the rest of the house, Young Master."

Again and again, something his hit deep inside him, and again and again pleasure came to him in spasms, until finally the world went white around him again, and then something warm and sticky spread between his legs.

Though half lidded eyes that blurred in and out of focus he saw Sebastian pull his hand away from out between his legs, and the absence of the man's fingers inside him left him wanting more.

"D… Don't… S-stop…." He mumbled as his head fell back against the pillows.

Sebastian chuckled lightly as he stood up and covered Gilbert with the sheets. "Perhaps another time, Young Master. But for right now, you need sleep."

Gilbert wanted to say more, to fight with Sebastian and say that he knew there was still more to be done, but his voice was lost and his eyes closed as darkness took him into its embrace. It was warm and peaceful, and dreamless. The last thing he saw was Sebastian picking up the candle from the bedside table and turning away from him without a second glance over his shoulder.

Sebastian watched as his young master passed out in the dark hours of the early morning. He smiled to himself and shook his head before turning away and leaving the sleeping Gilbert alone in his chamber.

AN: Alright, not too bad. I know it's kind of vegaue for me, but I wanted to really write this in Gilbert's point of view. It goes by in a blur because that is how I imaginied it would have been for him.

Don't worry, there's much more to come.

Thank you for reading!