BROKEN BRIDGES WITHIN THE SOUL

Gabrielle watched as small abandoned area at the edge of the city came in to view. There was an old temple which was in ruins, which over looked the huge lake. She could see the cities main bridge which was far off in the distance. She came down feeling the fire burn outwards as she took back her human form. She looked up watching as the last of the fire vanished as her dog gently floated back in to her hands. She tapped the stone floor with a saddled foot seeing that it was solid vines hung down over the white stone. Grass was bursting through the broken slabs on the floor. This had to be an old temple of that she was certain, she looked down feeling the dog squirm a little as its eyes opened and it sprung back to life as if nothing had happened.

She looked around her, the temples sides were still intact but the roof was missing she there was an old stone bench in the centre of the ruins. She moved towards it putting her hand on it checking that it was sturdy before slowly sitting down on it. The ruins were beautiful but not because of how they looked but because of the winding green foliage that was growing all over them, which gave them a majestic feel. She gently sat the dog on her lap as she took in the beautiful sight only to feel her heart sink. She was alone, alone in a place were no one seemed to go, or so it seemed. Had her whole living life been this way? Had she never felt anything but this? She got of the stone stool feeling her body slide down it as she sat herself on the floor leaning up against it.

She put down her dog watching as it started to run around the area close to her sniffing everything with great interest. She leaned forward stroking its head at least her dog was having fun. She eased her hand away looking at it, she wasn't a monster and she hadn't done all those things she was being accused off. She leaned forward feeling her long hair fall in front of her eyes, this was such a mess. Why didn't any one believe her? She wouldn't go out of her way to harm anyone. She didn't like the thought of killing and she loathed the thought of coming on to anyone when they didn't want her advances even more. That poor servant girl hadn't done anything to deserve that.

The whole accusation of what she'd done to that girl just brought up more questions with out answers. In her minds eye she was starting to see that their was something in her past life that meant that she had done more than just spoken with other women. That she may have slept with them at some point in time since it seemed to be a common subject which was constantly being brought up. The thought of it made her nervous, she knew nothing about same gender relationships, they also seemed so wrong to her. Maybe because they way she saw it was that everything should be simple and they weren't simple. She wouldn't think off going out of her way to kiss another woman yet everyone seemed to think that she would.

May be she was being lied to or tricked and she wasn't who she thought she was. If that was true wouldn't that mean that she had been manipulated and used from the beginning? No one could be that cruel could they? Her Lord loved her, he said he did he had not given her any reason to think that he was using her in any way. None of this would change the fact that no one around her would believe her anymore, she was certain of that now. She'd seen it in their eyes when they'd accused her of the killings those men, these events would only make them believe all the more that it was her. She looked down sadly was this the happiness that her Lord had been talking about? Had she really been happy here in this place with him ever?

Something in her gut told her no, she just felt lonely here in this city. She was different to everyone it had been that way from the beginning. She acted different and she didn't fit in here. She looked at one of her hands she didn't even look like them. How had she ever been happy when she'd been alive knowing that? She was the Blood Jaguar yet no one had told her what that name really stood for. It was just one more thing that was lost to her, she put a hand on her face feeling the tears as they started to fall. Gods she cried so much today, yet she just wanted to cry all the more now. She was so alone in this place and she had no one or a least that was how it felt.

She looked up feeling something brush against her leg she looked down seeing that her dog was seated next to her leg looking at her. She gently picked it up holding it in her arms bringing it to her chest. That wasn't the whole truth her dog was the only one who wasn't judging her. Even though she was dead and it was alive it seemed completely loyal to her. That thought didn't make her feel much better it just made the pain in her chest sting all the more. She was a good person and she didn't believe in doing harm to others yet only through the eyes of one small animal was she seen for who she was. She leaned over feeling the tears run down her face as she began to cry again.

8

Xena turned eyeing the long streets filled with people who for the most part just ignored her and Itzli. With the exception of a few children whose eyes followed her in awe obviously people around here weren't used to tall women. She watched as a female warrior ran past her, her feathered head dress swaying they were used to female warriors though. She turned a corner pulling Argo further along they really needed to find somewhere to stay out of sight. Somewhere were she could read through the scroll. She pulled Argo to a stop as a couple of small children ran past chasing a skinny looking dog which looked like a lanky grey hound but it had no fur and it skin was dark in colour. "This place is even more crowded than Xochiquetzal's city."

Itzli pulled the hood further over his face as another warrior passed them by running for all he was worth. "True, but you don't get a lake side view in her city." Xena eyed him for a long moment. "No I guess you don't." Itzli breathed in deeply as he carried on moving. "Can I ask you a question?" Xena looked up meeting his unsure gaze. "Sure." Itzli watched as another set of children ran past. "Why did you and Gabrielle never have children?" Xena narrowed her gaze. "Isn't that obvious I'm missing that essential equipment." Itzli shook his head. "You could have adopted though or you could have slept with a man a couple of times so that one of you could have carried."

Xena sneered as she eyed him. "It's none of your business." Itzli raised his hand slightly. "Look I don't want to pry and I really don't mean to, it's just something Gabrielle said before her death, I was just thinking about it that's all." Xena stopped still watching as he did the same. "What did she say to you?" Itzli shook his head sadly. "She said she didn't see herself as a good mother and that she had a child who died." He looked down tracing the floor with his eyes. "I just thought it was a sad thing for her to say she seems like she has so much to give." Xena turned sharply not being able to hold back her next words. "Gabrielle was a very good mother! She loved that child, she fought to keep her alive she did everything a mother should, she even fought me…."

She stopped looking down feeling a twinge of pain in her chest. "No she did the right thing even at the end. I was the one who condemned her and put her though Tartarus because I lost my own son." Itzli watched as the pain gleamed in her eyes. "I'm sorry for your son and her daughter no parent should ever outlive their child." He shook his head. "This does explain as to why you never had children again." Xena breathed in feeling the over whelming sadness, if only that were true. She'd had another child but she had pushed Gabrielle away during that terrible time. She had even questioned wanting her in Eve's life because all she could think about was Hope and what had happened.

Her mind had wandered to Ares thinking that maybe this little girl should have a father figure because it was more the norm. Ares was no father figure though he could be cruel and manipulative and he had no love in his heart. Gabrielle had all that and more and yet she had just pushed her away. She closed her eyes gods how cruel could she possibly be? You can beat someone to the point of death but wounds of the heart were always worst, they bled the brightest and didn't always heal. Itzli was right or though she'd never admit it they had both never considered it again after all that had happened. She had never asked Gabrielle on her thoughts on it fearing that it just might hurt her feelings to much.

She had lived to see both her children have partly happy lives Gabrielle hadn't she fought Hope up till the end after realizing her evil nature. She also had to watch her grandson the destroyer die as well. How truly sad it must be to watch the next two generations die in front of you, true the destroyer was a monster but that didn't change the fact that he was still part of Gabrielle's bloodline. The sad thing was now looking back on it she wondered if that monster had thoughts and feelings. Being with Gabrielle when she'd been a werewolf had taught her a lot about how monsters were persevered. Her lover had been mentality all there but couldn't communicate with her in that form, they'd had to work at it.

True they'd later found godly pendants that meant she could understand Gabrielle, but it had been a while. She had felt so sorry for the younger woman not because of the form her lover was stuck in. She had never been repulsed by that wolf like form she loved it all the same. No she couldn't imagine what it was like to be stuck like that and to not be able to speak to anyone. To be doing mental loops in your head and realize that it didn't matter what you said aloud, because at the end of the day no one who was human could understand you anyway, only the werewolves around you could understand you. That was what really made the werewolf form an unfair form to be stuck in and talking had always been her lover's life blood so to have the ability to talk to each other stripped away was truly cruel.

She turned looking at Itzli. "Did Gabrielle say to you that she wanted a child again?" She lowered her gaze she wasn't sure she wanted to hear this but the need to know was just too great at this moment in time. Itzli looked up slowly. "Yes she did, but she said that some things are beyond her no matter how much she wants them." He watched as look of intense pain filled the Warrior Princess's eyes, he leaned over putting his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I know she only wants a child with you and no one else of that I'm truly sure." Xena smiled but it was a sad smile, she grabbed his hand sharply. "It's not that."

She shook her head trying to ignoring the painful feeling in her chest, gods she had suspected it for some time. She had seen that hint of want and sadness in Gabrielle's eyes when they had, had a general talk about children during their time in Apollonia. She breathed in steadying herself. "I knew she wanted a child." She felt her breathing start to quicken she turned grabbing him by the robe pulling him towards her. She heard the desperation in her voice as it hit the air. "How am I right for her? I never give her what she wants! I always know what she wants and I still don't give it to her! Should I even have that kind of love do I even deserve it?"

Itzli turned seeing that a few people had turned to look at them. He could see the desperation in her Xena's eyes and hear the panic in her voice it was as if something inside of her was starting to tear at the seams. He had no idea if it was the situation or if it was her soul suffering. Something told him it that this was her soul screaming because it had been separated on such a deep level. Just like Gabrielle she was starting to loose her way and she couldn't help herself. He took a deep breathe slowly taking hold of her hands. "You'll always be the right one for her, no one can ever take your place because you were the only one destine to take that place. No one should ever change that not man or god."

He watched as her eyes darted for a spilt second. "What ever you think you've done wrong there is so much that you've done right. You brought back Gabrielle and put the Blood Jaguar back to sleep. The whole of Mexica couldn't put her to sleep but you did and that is why you're the only person who deserves her." Xena pulled her hands away sharply feeling her emotions finally steady. She took in a deep breath before grabbing Argo's reins. Something was wrong with her she could feel it deep down in the depths of her soul. It was the feeling of loneliness which had been pressing against her chest since she'd witnessed Gabrielle's death. No it was so much more it felt like she was loosing control of her emotions and she couldn't stop herself even when she tried. She wasn't used to having these kinds out bursts and they made her feel uneasy. She quickly started moving again watching as Itzli slowly followed her. She had to get a hold of herself! If she did this again she would end up ruining their well laid plans!

8

Milintica looked up watching as the sun gods city came in to view. He could smell the flesh bags even from this distance thousands of them all swarming like greedy flies around a dead carcass. He wasn't hungry right now though and he didn't believe in open banquets, he'd always preferred a challenge when killing and eating. He flicked his tongue, smelling the air the Blood Jaguar was here the flesh bag who had taken the site away from his right eye. He had never eaten a hummingbird warrior before but he doubted that it was any different to eating a living person. He moved his nostrils in to the water of the huge lake which the city was in the middle of.

He needed to be patient he was a snake though he under stood the very essence of patience. Sometimes he'd had to wait for days on end for food to come along. He slowly dipped his head in to the water slithering in to its dark depths. He could see small crocodiles swimming through its crystal clear waters along with fishes. They all turned swimming away from him as he the rest of his body sank in to the lake. He wrapping his lower body slightly as he lay down on the lakes bottom, he eased up his neck looking upwards. He could see hundreds of fish swimming by and dark reflections of canoes as the moved past above throwing their fishing nets were in to the water. He lowered his head as he began to slither along the bottom ignoring the brown sand as it came up like smoke around his sides.

He would not go to the Blood Jaguar no he'd wait until the right moment came, he wanted it to be quick and swift he wanted her body in his mouth with in seconds and he wanted to be underwater in an instant. The hummingbird warriors would follow him but by then it would be too late, if she hadn't drowned then he would have swallowed her and nothing he'd ever swallowed lived. True he had never attacked or eaten a hummingbird warrior before, but flesh was flesh at the end of the day. He eased up his head as came to edge of the city he could see the reflections as people moved by. He could see them dipping their clothes in to the water and their vases. Every flesh bag had to drink he lowered his head back under the water easing his long neck in between the reeds.

Even if the Blood Jaguar didn't drink she would still admire the water and when she got close enough he would smell the scent. How could he ever forget it he had been so close to making her in to a meal and then the pain had stuck him in his right eye he couldn't describe what it was like. Only that her weapon was like a red hot poker which burned like fire. Had her throw been a little higher it would have been his skull that would have been penetrated and not his eye. May be he should have left it their but that was not his way. No he wanted his revenge for no one had ever gotten away from him with their life. He would not allow her to live on, he was the grand serpent and he would remain unchallenged until he ether died of old age or died in battle through another's hand. The flesh goddess now knew what she wanted to know he was merely the messenger. He had no interest in the crystal skulls, but then he'd always liked information as it could be brought and sold for any price and he knew more than most. He was just glad that she could give him all the information he needed with out that none of this would have been so easy.

8

Itzli turned catching sight of an abounded house. "That's it." He moved forward turning in to one of the ally ways away from the crowds. He eyed the huge opening in the back of the abandoned house. He slowly moved in side watching as Xena followed him bringing in Argo through the opening. Xena looked at the old musty house which still had chairs and tables but not much else. "Why are going in here?"

Itzli walked up to the front door pushing on it checking that it was closed. "These stone houses are due to be rebuilt, but it takes weeks for the builders and carvers to get around to anything in this city. The family just gets moved out to a nice area until their house is fixed." He smiled sitting himself down on a chair. "No one ever comes in these places not even warriors, because as far as their concerned their structurally unsound." Xena eyed the building as she let go of Argo's reins. "Are they?" Itzli smiled putting both feet up on the table. "I doubt it I think they just say it to keep people away." He slowly sat back. "We'll have to stay here tonight, tomorrow we can move towards the central city." Xena sat herself down in the other chair. "This is taking to long!"

Itzli looked at her for a long moment, for such a powerful warrior she seemed to sulk like a child at times. May be he shouldn't have been surprised Gabrielle could be just the same when things didn't go her way. He had no idea who had leant the trait from who is this case, he looked up "Tell me are you always this impatient?" Xena folded her arms then slammed her feet down on the table. "No I'm not I'm just not used to having to wait." She turned watching as Argo sat herself down close by. Itzli sighed aloud. "Well the truth is you need time to study that scroll Xochipilli gave you." Xena leaned over pulling the scroll free from Argo's saddle bag she slowly unravelled it only to see herself staring at symbols, none of which made any sense.

She looked at it again before looking up. "How in Tartarus am I meant to understand this, its all patterns?" Itzli sighed aloud, it was going to be a long day he could feel it. "Take out Gabrielle's skull." He watched as she raised an eyebrow then eased the skull out of the bag placing it on table. "Looks at patterns they all represent the lines." He eased up a hand. "At the top you will see the written the passage which will bring the patterns to life. Under each pattern you'll see some writing on what part of the soul its represents. At the very bottom it shows how these living patterns should be pushed together." Xena eyed the main passages writing which she could just about read but it was hard, she looked up hearing her words hit the air.

Even jade will shatter,
Even gold will crush,
Even quetzal plumes will tear.
One does not live forever on this earth

Only for an instant do we endure.

She looked up slowly. "What does this mean?" Itzli turned sharply. "You've never heard it before?" Xena looked at the passage again. "No never." Itzli sat up slowly putting both hands on the table. "There is a poem that embodies death it was created to respect the dead and living. This is a passage from that poem." He tapped his fingers on the hard wood. "No one knows who wrote it only that it is ever lasting and was once spoken by the Mexican creator gods in their birthplace in the beginning." He smiled slightly. "Its words are that nothing is forever and that everyone be they god, man or monster should respect this and never try to change the way the world to suite themselves, only live in the time given to them."

Xena stared at the words again feeling a fear grip her. "Doesn't this suggest that it was Gabrielle's destiny to die to save me?" Itzli leaned closer to her looking at the words. "Perhaps, but I highly doubt it was her destiny to be changed in to something she's not and to have her future manipulated." He slowly met her gaze. "My god ignored these sacred words when he altered her destiny and her future and only bad things can come of that."

End of part 65

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