Chapter 72 – Not So Bad
Jim climbed the access ladder, peered around and gave himself an imaginary high five. Yep. There she was. He pulled himself over the last rung and settled into the ion pod next to Selina.
She sighed resignation. "How did you find me?"
"This is the perfect place to hide from an aviophobe - feels like you're flying in here even when the ship's holding position."
"While my shields were still unsteady it had the added advantage of being remote from manned spaces." She closed her eyes. "Allow me a few more moments and I will surrender peacefully."
"Okay. I'm just going to let Bones know you're alright." He flipped open his communicator. "Hey Bones, call off the dogs. I found her and she's fine."
"Thank God! Where are you?" There was relief in Bones' voice, but also the sound of a mother eagle ready to swoop in after a missing chick.
Jim caught the look on Selina's face. He knew that look; he'd certainly seen it in the mirror often enough. "What?" He tapped the communicator, making static sounds with his lips. "Can't ::bzzt:: hear ::bzzt:: power pack ::bzzt:: going …"
"Dammit Jim! Don't pull that shit on me. Where are you?"
"…bring her ::bzzt:: soon." He snapped the communicator closed. There was going to be hypo-hell to pay for that, but he grinned anyway.
Selina was smiling. There was even a little hint of teeth between curved lips. "Thank you, Jim."
"Hey, if I told him where we are, I'd lose my favorite hiding place." He shrugged, and segued into an impression. "Ya see, Bonnie, I don't figure youse for a flight risk while we got Clyde on ice."
There was a sound Jim could almost count as a laugh. "You do a much better New Jersey accent."
"New Jersey? I was trying for Chicago." Jim frowned a little. "But, um, about Clyde -"
Her eyes returned to the viewport. "I have no comment on the matter."
...And that was probably all the comment necessary. He pulled at the back of his neck. "Actually I was going to ask if he's really alright. You know, after the thing about Albans and calling himself 'we'…?"
She nodded, her hands twisting in uncharacteristic tension. "When Faf's identity fractured, there was a part ...that had been suppressed to protect his secrets. That part has not fully reintegrated. However, once I am fully recovered, I shall make sure that it does."
Okay, maybe a little more comment was necessary. While part of him thought getting her for a private nurse might be worth a little mental instability, as Captain he needed to know the extent before he let Sorenson walk out of sickbay again.
She turned to face him. "I promise you there is no danger, only a more pronounced degree of the multiplicity that exists in all humanoid minds."
"Multiplicity?"
"We are all composites, Jim. Human psychologists knew this even before telepaths openly entered the field and confirmed it. You are different as Capt. Kirk than as Jim. When you debate a course of action in your mind, who are you talking to?"
He looked at her uncertainly. "I still need to know."
She touched his face and ...okay, the telepathy thing was still a little fuzzy, but he saw them, blurred and overlapping. The personality mostly in control was basically still the close friend she'd trust with her life (if not with his own). The other, closer to Jim's first impression of him - someone who'd be at home in longboat - was one she also knew, but as a persona he slipped into sometimes. One she now knew he'd adopted more frequently in recent years, first to cope with intel work and then increasingly as obsession drove him to secretly track Maldi on his own. Erik, who she...
The link ended so abruptly Kirk would have staggered if he hadn't been sitting down.
"Forgive me, I am still somewhat weak." Her fingertips were pressed to her forehead. "But you see it is not so bad. After leading a double life for so long now, this is not even so far beyond his normal."
Jim considered. He was sure some part of the impression was overlay of her feelings for Allen, but weird as it was, he did feel strangely reassured about him. Selina, however, looked pretty drained. "Maybe I should get you to Bones now."
Her eyes snapped to his. "Not yet."
Jim had seen that look in the mirror too: I'll see a doctor after I'm well enough not be kept in sickbay. "Okay, take whatever time you need. And, I'll make sure you get enough time to help Allen get himself together too."
"Thank you, Jim." She kissed his cheek. You are a good man.
Had he been meant to hear that? He grinned at her. "Your 'voice' is still a bit fuzzy. I don't think quite I caught that last part."
"I said you are not so bad." Her eyes narrowed just enough to say 'don't push it'.
He flashed a smile. "See? That's what I keep telling everyone, but they won't believe me."
"Perhaps because they know some of the women in your head?" she suggested wryly.
Jim chuckled. "Yeah, about that, I think there was someone else in your head too." He waved a hand. "Not that it bothers me. Like I said, I'm not the jealous type. But I have this vague impression that he wasn't clean shaven."
"It is possible," she allowed casually. "I do generally find beards attractive."
"Now you tell me." He grinned, rubbing his chin. "I could grow one."
Something that Jim was definitely going to count as a laugh escaped her lips. "I think Faf is about as many bearded men as I can handle right now."
Jim laughed. Why did telling him she was with someone else feel like a less definite rejection? Maybe because that someone else was off his rocker…"Say, are you sure he isn't going to do something crazy before we get back?"
"Do you mean something like leaving a survival pod to hike across an ice planet populated by giant carnivores or like deliberately provoking a Vulcan to violence?" Her deadpan expression was marred by the slight twitch of one eyebrow. "Crazy is a relative term in Starfleet. Erik is bolder, a bit more likely to fight than walk away," she smiled very slightly, "but not nearly as bad as you."
Jim narrowed his eyes, a half-grin on his lips. "Excuse me but did you just say that both of the crazy guy's personalities are saner than I am?"
"No, only the one who tends to picture himself in a horned helmet." she answered matter-of-factly.
Jim bit his lip to keep from laughing and looked at her sidelong. "So is that a good thing? I mean, you seem to like crazy guys." He looked around the pod casually. "You know, this would be a really great place to make out."
"You are incorrigible." She raised her eyebrows. "However, I am not joining that crowd in your head. It is bad enough that Faf still remembers some of his fan club."
Spock and the geeky Viking had both had fan clubs? Jim had clearly entered the Academy in the wrong year.
Selina smiled, having either read his face or his mind. "After the annual event."
Jim thought back. There was an old rumor about a guy having entered that once. Surely not?
This time there was a definite chuckle from Selina. "Faf was the judge."
Damn. Spock could be a really good friend. "I don't suppose there's any chance of you telling me that story?"
"I suppose that I do owe you something…"
.
.
"That was not a fan club; that was an object lesson." Allen rolled his eyes. "It took about a week to realize that no matter how physically attractive, the sort of woman who's likely to refer to a knight as 'the little horsey' is going to make me nauseous."
Nyota laughed. "Sounds like exactly the lesson a smart woman would teach a guy she was interested in. If you ask me, the main place you went wrong was in not just being yourself."
He shook his head. Being himself was a little complicated too right now. (It's not so bad – she does like both of us.) Seriously Erik, you are not helping.
He is however correct.
Grey!! You're alright!
Almost. You sound better too. That was nearly perfect unison. I expect you to work on more of that until I am recovered enough to finish the job.
"Allen?" Nyota's hand hovered over the call button. He'd suddenly sat bolt upright with a huge grin.
He is fine, Nyota. She got the impression of a sisterly wink. Keep working on him. I will return presently.
Selina had never popped into her head long-distance before and Nyota looked around uneasily, listening for more and wondering just how long she'd been eavesdropping.
Allen was laughing. "She's been known to do that if she gets too comfortable with you. You might consider working out your own agreement, eh?"
.
.
McCoy froze when he heard the door. Damn. He'd doubled back to check her room again and instead of finding her, she was going to walk in and find him standing in her bedroom like some kind of stalker. Two sets of footsteps entered. He hoped to God it was Jim with her so he'd have someone to yell at, not to mention the fact that the kid richly deserved the lecture that had been brewing in his mind since Jim had pulled that faulty communicator bit. She's fine. Like Jim had a medical degree or the sense to see through an act, especially an act put on by a pretty face. On the other hand, what if Sorenson had decided to waltz out of sickbay again and caught up with her? It had been all too clear by the way they were looking at each other when they beamed up that some sort of dam had broken in that relationship, and even if he had a good excuse for bawling him out too, being here if they walked in together would be all kinds of awkward.
"You know perfectly well that a remote area was preferable if my shields did not return evenly. And you can put that eyebrow down. I thought that Vulcans did not worry."
"We do not. However, you were expected in sickbay. The doctor is quite emotional enough without added provocation."
So the hobgoblin was going to use him as an excuse to pretend he wasn't worried, was he? McCoy stepped around the room screen with a smirk. "Speaking of provocation, Spock, aren't you supposed to still be in sickbay?"
Ha! Spock had actually startled before recovering enough cool to lift an eyebrow in a way that clearly said 'And precisely what were you doing in my sister's bedroom?'
"Len?" The look on Selina's face was nearly identical.
Well, the best defense was a good offense. "You had us worried sick, darlin'. If you didn't want to be near a populated area, you could've called and I would've come to you."
Spock placed his hands behind his back. "Clearly, had she wished for your services, she would have done so."
"You stay out of this. You think I don't know you left about a nanosecond after I told you to stay put?" McCoy growled. "You will report for a full exam tomorrow, 0700 sharp. Until then, go back to figuring out who the hell it is we really have in the brig."
Spock exchanged a look with Selina and seemed to take whatever thought passed between them as dismissal. He nodded fractionally and stepped out the door.
Selina's head went to the side as she crossed her arms stubbornly. "I did not require medical attention Len, as I believe I indicated before leaving to speak with the Ambassador."
One look at her face said bluster wasn't his best option here. "Well, I still need to make sure. The first place I went after you weren't here was to Pak." Len gave her a small smile. "He wants to know that you're fit before your promotion. Congratulations, by the way."
"Thank you." Her face softened slightly. "Since you appear prepared to make a house call, perhaps we could get this over with here?"
"Whatever you want, darlin'," Len pulled out his medical tricorder. "But someday you're gonna tell me exactly what it is you've got against sickbays."
"You have seen my history, Len. I have spent far too much time in medical facilities. The loss of personal control is unpleasant, but worse, most contain patients whose emotional states are an assault on my shields. Even in the relative calm of your sickbay, I cannot let go of the habit of being constantly on guard." She gave him a significant look. "Hence I desired to avoid it while my shields were weak."
"I would have come to you."
"And you would have made me go to sickbay when my telepathic response readings were seriously off profile. For someone with my psi rating, the standard protocol is sedation. I know my options there and I like none of them."
McCoy looked at the diagnostic readings. The woman knew her own mind in more ways than one and had hidden long enough to avoid forcing him to decide whether to violate Starfleet medical procedures. "Well, you're in no danger of that now. According to this, you're near perfect." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Next time, I'd appreciate it if you'd just explain that sort of thing up front."
She raised hers too. "Would you have left me to recover on my own?"
He sensed with absolute certainty that she was listening with more than her ears, which meant that lying would be a really bad idea. "Probably not. But I wouldn't have sedated you unless you presented an active danger to the ship."
"Then I am sorry, Len." She took his arm. "Allow me to buy you a drink as an apology."
Surprise didn't even begin to describe his reaction. Pick your jaw up off the floor he told himself, the lady only offered a drink. "Well, thank you, m'dear. But maybe we should drop by sickbay and let Allen know you're alright?"
"He already does. I knew I was well enough to return when I could reach him clearly." She arched an eyebrow at him. "You will not trick me into following you to sickbay by using Faf as bait."
"Perish the thought!" Bones drawled, leading her out of her quarters. "But I have had him there longer than need be by now."
"He can wait a little longer. Besides, I need time to consider how I will pay him back for hiding so much from me."
Len looked at her, confused. "But I thought the two of you…?"
"Yes." She smiled. "However, that is all the more reason that he should not expect to get away with it."
AN: An ion pod features in the TOS episode The Court Martial. Jim really isn't so bad, even if he can't help being a player. And at least he finally gets to hear the wet t-shirt story. Bones gets the last word with Spock (which doesn't happen often if you're familiar with TOS). As far as Selina goes, however, they'll have to take comfort in the fact they are equally out of luck.
Don't worry, I won't leave the boys totally high and dry. (btw Chris Pine in a beard is hot - although not as hot as a scruffy Karl Urban).
