Chapter Twenty-Five
Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts, Scotland, 5 December, 1991
"This is the end of me, Albus!"
"Now, Minerva, be reasonable, it can't be that ba-"
"Not that bad, Albus? First, there were the Marauders in the seventies, then the Weasley twins. And I thought that they were bad! But no! Give me Potter, Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew any day! Fred and George? Easy! But these Firebrands are something else entirely! They can get in to all of the common rooms at all hours of the day and night, they never get caught! I've no idea how they're doing this, or even who they are! Argus is as frazzled as I am!" McGonagall cries, her normally rigidly controlled hair sticking out in odd tufts. Her light blue eyes were wild. "In the last week, there have been eight pranks, first the one on Quirrel, and then one on each of the houses. The Slytherin dormitories were charmed with a highly advanced spell that was dormant until all of them entered the Great Hall, at which point they began to dance and sing a vulgar song by some Muggle pop star."
"Ah, yes, Miss Spears, I believe. 'Hit Me Baby One More Time', if I remember properly. A rather catchy tune," Albus said cheerfully.
"The Ravenclaws were hexed en masse, a Babbling Hex. They were speaking gibberish for an entire day! The Hufflepuffs were poisoned with a Buck-Up Potion, and their aggression toward the other houses was unprecedented! There were fights, Albus, physical fights! And the Gryffindors! They were attacked again, this time with Fanged Frisbees and even more powerful fireworks! Poor Longbottom was in hysterics and had to be sedated!" McGonagall cried, close to hysterics herself. "And that's not to mention the other incidents with the staff and the professors! Even you were a victim, your robes were turned a horrendous shade of orange the other night-"
Albus cleared his throat. "Actually, Minerva, they were not tampered with. I bought them like that."
McGonagall's lined face turned red. "Albus, I-I didn't know. I didn't-"
He chuckled. "I am aware that you were unaware, Professor. And I believe that these Firebrands are precisely what they call themselves."
"What, pirates?"
"Exactly."
"So what are they doing, Headmaster?"
"Raiding."
"Why?"
He looked at her over his half-moon glasses. "They are looking for treasure."
Hogwarts Library, Hogwarts, Scotland, 5 December, 1991
"Hermione, when are we going to do something interesting?"
"Sneaking into the Restricted Section is interesting, Blaise. I thought you would understand that."
"And what does that mean, exactly?" Ron hissed from behind them. "I wish I'd gone with the others."
"The fact that you don't understand, Ronald, only proves my point. Ah, here we are. I wonder why the others didn't come. It's perfectly thrilling in here!"
"The fact that you don't know, Hermione, only proves my point."
"What point, Ron?" Blaise asked, running his hands over the books.
"That smarts aren't everything," Ron smirked. And then, looking at the thousands of ancient books surrounding him, he muttered, "I wish I'd gone with the others."
Third Floor Corridor, Hogwarts, Scotland, 5 December, 1991
"RUN!!!!" Adrian screamed.
They'd decided to go exploring again, this time without dungbombs or fireworks. Tonight, they'd had a goal; to discover what was hidden on the third floor.
They were pirates, after all.
Unfortunately, filch had also thought that tonight was a nice night for a prowl, and was right on their (invisible) heels, only just around a corner behind them.
"Look!" Neville yelled, pointing at a door.
They ran toward it. It was locked.
"Alohomora!" Draco and Henry roared wands pointing at the door handle.
It opened with a squeak, and the five friends charged inside.
"Ugh, what is that stink?!"
"Uh, guys?"
"I don't know, but it's really loud in here too."
"Guys?"
"And hot."
"YOU GUYS!!!!"
"What, Neville?"
"Uh, d-does one of the professors have a d-dog?"
They turned to look at him and instead came face to face with a monstrous three-headed dog.
There was a millisecond of silence, then-
"!!!!!"
They immediately fought their way out the door, pushing each other out. They threw the cloak over themselves and scrambled down the hall.
"What about Filch?" Draco asked as they ran.
"TO HELL WITH FILCH! DID YOU SEE THAT BLOODY DOG? MOVE YOUR ARSES!" Neville bellowed, pushing the others forward.
They looked at him, shocked and bewildered.
"Well," Adrian said as they ran, "we did it."
"Did what, almost get your friends killed again?" Daphne snapped, panting.
"We corrupted him. He swears now," Adrian said, smirking at all of them.
"You're an arsehole."
