Incest is bad


Lucius Malfoy had always dreamt of the day when he had his heir. A Pure-blooded heir. An heir he could mold into a fine Lord. He'd teach him about Pure-Bloods, Half-Bloods, and Mudbloods and teach him of their place.

It would be glorious.

That was why he was so happy when he discovered who his parents had chosen for his betrothed. Mother it seems had pulled some strings with the Blacks; she'd negotiated with her brother Cygnus for his daughter Narcissa. Only a paltry fifty thousand galleons for such pure blood! A black! Ha! They had the purest of bloods! Mother was a black, so we know that our bloods were compatible.

A first cousin! What a wonderful relation!


The wedding was beautiful and was front page news.

Lucius was more excited about the wedding night. An heir will be conceived this night! His heir will have the best of both the Blacks and the Malfoys.

He took her into his arms that night, and in many nights to come.


Years passed and Lucius grew weary. Was his wife barren? Was he impotent? Surely the finest of Pure-Bloods like themselves could sire an heir!

Tests were done, and it was confirmed that they were both fertile.

Strange.

They tried for another year before they decided to have a procedure done. A few spells and suddenly Narcissa was with child. It was the happiest day of his life.


It was time. He called the healers to his home and sat by his wife. In a matter of hours he would have his heir. A great heir. With the blood of two of the purest families. He could hardly contain his joy.


A magical birth was much more pleasant than a muggle one. A spell removes all pain. Another piece of magic, a variant of the engorgio charm makes the birthing canal easier to retrieve the child from.

There were smiles all around. His Draco was born!

Until they had a look at the child. Their poor inbreed child. Deformed.

Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy family, was a circus freak.

The first thing that was noticable was the third arm.

That was pretty hard to miss.

Each of his arms was tipped with anywhere between three and seven fingers. Fourteen in all.

Another thing was that he was without... a thing... He did have three testicles though. The more the merrier it seems.

His face was equally deformed.

His mouth was off to the side at an minor angle.

His other mouth was on his neck.

His nose was upside down, and his ears were downside up.

His eyes seemed fine, all three of them.

His beard could use a trim though.

An awkward silence filled the room. That was until the baby started crying. The cries came out like rooster crows.

Lucius couldn't find anything to say. This could not be his heir. Not a way in hell.

He turned to the healer, pulling his wand as he went.

"Obliviate!" He intoned, "You were never here, Narcissa was never pregnant, and this... beast never existed! Leave!"

The healers left by floo post-haste. Lucius and Narcissa were left in the room for a while to think.

"We can't keep it Lucius." she finally said, "I will not be known as the mother to some freak. Get rid of it."

He looked to the child and let out a sigh. Such a pity, all that gold spent to get her pregnant. He cast a killing curse and grabbed the dead infant by one of its legs; as he walked to the boiler room for incineration, the child's head dragging on the floor as he went, he said, "Oh well, we can try again tonight."

He could try divorce and fine a less related match, because first cousins are obviously not meant to breed.

He could adopt.

Hell, he could get a servant pregnent, but instead it takes them another three failed pregnencys before they finally find their heir: Draco the fifth.

But then again, wizards are stupid.


AN: It was fun letting the bad guys feel some pain.