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Chapter 17

Now

"I have to go alone. If he said to come alone I have to. You don't know what he's capable of; if I don't he could hurt Charles."

Explaining everything a second time, to Raven, was harder. It wasn't easier. She's braced on the edge of the table now, staring at him, and Erik is holding Lorna because he didn't think it was safe to let Raven keep her while he was explaining this. He was right. Raven is shaky now, with that look on her face that means she would be pale if she weren't blue.

"I don't understand. What does he want?"

Erik shakes his head slowly. "I don't know. If I had to guess?" He pauses uncomfortably. "Me." Jean isn't here—she took Bobby and Kitty out of the house when they woke so they wouldn't hear what Erik had to tell Raven—and he was able to tell Raven a bit more of the truth. He sits before it becomes dangerous for him to hold the baby. "But I have to do this the way he wants me to. I can't risk giving him the chance to do anything to Charles."

He isn't sure Shaw won't do anything before he even gets there, without any provocation at all, but he doesn't say that.

Raven is gripping the edge of the table so tightly her knuckles are changing color—not white, but something else, of course—and Erik can tell that she's trying not to cry. "God…oh god…"

Erik swallows hard. "I'll get him home. I promise you that. If Shaw wants me he can have me."

"Don't say that either!" Raven scolds him immediately. "Charles needs you. The kids need you. You're going there and you're getting both of you out."

"I'll try."

"Don't try! Do it!" She's upset. She sounds like this when she's upset, but she has a point. Erik stares at her for a long moment, and she's glaring back but not really glaring at him. Just glaring. At nothing. At the universe for doing this to them. Erik stands up and nods as firmly as he can.

He has to do it. He has to bring Charles back. He's willing to sacrifice himself to do it, but his goal has to be higher.

He eases Raven into a chair and kisses Lorna's forehead before handing the baby back over to her mother. He hugs Raven, though she can't return the embrace with the child in her arms. But she leans into him, and then he straightens and nods once more.

"I'll bring him back," he tells her.

"Erik…"

He should wait until Jean and the twins come back. Even though he hugged all three of them before they were out the door, Jean expects him to be here when they return. She expects to have the chance to try again to convince him to not go alone. And it isn't that he wants to go alone.

But he doesn't want to contemplate what Shaw might do to his husband if he doesn't follow instructions.

I'm sorry, Jean.

Erik picks the bag up from the table to sling it over his shoulder, and he wonders if Raven remembers it, too. They way she's looking at him now makes him think she does.

"Take care of them for us until we get back," Erik says. He wishes it had come out with more strength once it's out. But Raven nods and bites her lip, and she doesn't protest when he walks out the door.

He makes it as far as the gates before he hears shouting behind him. He's already pulled out of them open with ease, and the gate keepers are looking at him strangely but he's trying to go out and not in so he isn't a concern.

He knows it's Jean behind him. He can feel her in his mind, trying to ask him to stop, to wait, to bring more help. Erik doesn't look back. If he looks back he might listen to her.

Instead, he closes the gates behind him and holds them closed until the first few hills hide the town from view.


Jean pounds and pulls on the gates until it's clear that they aren't going to open, and in her mind Dad still isn't answering her, either. She can still feel him moving away—she'll be able to keep tabs on him for a while, at least—but he isn't listening to her.

She leaves the gate keepers to puzzle over the gate and breaks off and hurries back to the house, where she left Bobby and Kitty with Raven. Raven is up and pacing when Jean makes it back, trying to soothe Lorna because the baby is crying.

"She can't be hungry again yet, and she doesn't need to be changed…I think she knows we're upset," Raven says quietly.

"Damn right we're upset—why didn't you stop him before he even left the house!" Yelling at Raven isn't going to fix anything, but she's angry, and worried, and maybe a little panicked too. She has to force some if it back because everything in the kitchen begins to rattle.

Mom has always said the only thing worse than Dad's colds were hers. Dad's powers can only mess with the metal in the house; hers can move anything.

And Raven glares at her, stopping her pacing to face her. "How was I supposed to stop him? You don't stop your father from doing anything—it doesn't work like that. Not with Erik. If I'd tried to stop him he would have stopped me, and he would have gone anyway. You know that."

Bobby and Kitty come back downstairs at the noise from the shouting, and Kitty comes to Jean and tugs on her pants leg. "Jean, where are Mommy and Daddy?"

Jean swallows and ruffles the girl's hair a bit, trying to smile. "They had to go for a while. But they'll be back. Me and the other older kids might have to go get them back, but they'll be back soon. I promise." Kitty nods and hugs her leg then, and Bobby runs up and makes it a group hug.

"What are you talking about?" Raven says evenly.

In her mind Jean is already calling to the others—Hank, Sean, Alex, Ororo, Moira, Kurt and even Scott and Logan for good measure—giving them the memory of what happened and Shaw's appearance and everything Dad told her because that's easier than explaining and they don't have time for explanations.

I don't care what you're doing: All of you. The house. Now. From the reactions she feels, she doesn't think she'll get any argument.

"Exactly what I said," Jean answers firmly. "We're going after them."


Charles's chest hurts when he wakes, and he wonders how long he cried before falling asleep. He's still incredibly sore as well, of course, and besides that his stomach aches. He's nauseous.

He knows this cannot be good. He knows from Erik's memory what Shaw is capable of, and he has to admit to himself that he's afraid.

Beyond what's already been taken, he doesn't know what Shaw wants. He doesn't know what the man will do to get it.

Charles realizes he's shivering, and he pulls the blanket up around his neck. Everything fades out again for a while, until his eyes blink open again when he feels a hand on his forehead.

Erik…?

"No…I'm sorry. Just a friend."

Charles frowns and tries to focus. In the blurry background is a reddish puff of smoke, and he realizes that the teleporter brought someone else here. As the world asserts itself again he can make out the woman leaning over him. The dark blonde hair, her age—a few years older than Erik and himself—and the vaguely familiar face…

"I know you…I've seen you in Erik's memories. You're…Nicole, isn't it?"

She nods, then sigh as she draws her hand back. "I should have been sent down here sooner; you're burning up, poor thing. Shaw's surgeons may know what they're doing, but that's almost useless when he won't let them use enough medication…the incision's probably becoming infected. Though I suppose that's what I'm here for, isn't?"

This is the girl from Erik's memories. The one with healing powers. The girl who looked just as scared as Erik was in the sharp remembrances of those first few days here.

"Have you been here this whole time?" Charles's asks.

The woman nods again, shrugging and looking away. "I don't have much choice, do I? He has my family. He has anyone that means anything to anyone here. Why else would we do a damn thing for him?" Bitterness tinges her voice, but not enough to temper the kindness Charles sees in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. If only they had known…they could have done something about all of this so much sooner.

Nicole shakes her head. "No…I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're here." She lets out a breath and is back to business, pulling the blanket down. "Anyway…I can take care of this. Just hold on a minute and you'll feel fine." Charles doesn't protest when she carefully pulls his shirt up and rests a hand over the stitched-up incision. It is red after all, but that begins to go away immediately.

It isn't only the incision that begins to heal; the soreness through his middle and the aches in his stomach and chest begin to ease, as well. Soon enough nothing hurts, and the scar is only that again.

"I could get rid of it for you completely, if you wanted me to," she offers.

"No…thank you," Charles answers quietly.

Nicole nods in understanding, but she runs a finger over it again. Nothing changes visibly, but he thinks he feels something and frowns in confusion.

"Reinforcing the tissue around the area," she explains. "That's always the trouble with these sorts of scars, especially if they've been opened as many times as this one."

He thanks her again, a little bewildered, and when she sits back Charles pulls his shirt back down and sits up. It isn't hard; she really has fixed anything that was wrong. He feels fine, but for a slight headache that remains.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Nicole says quickly. She reaches for his head—the right side of it, too; the one that hurts—and in seconds the headache is gone. Her hand lingers, finding the scar from that surgery at his hairline. "What about this one?"

That one he would rather forget. "I uhm…I suppose. I mean, if it isn't any trouble…"

"Not at all."

That takes a bit longer, but then she pulls away again and Charles reaches up to feel it. There isn't anything there. The first few locks of hair on that side are still shorter than the others, growing back from surgery, but the scar is gone.

And it isn't only helping him he has to thank her for. This girl took care of Erik for so long, all those years he was here. Even when Shaw wouldn't allow her to use her powers she was here when he would let her come, tending to Erik when she couldn't fix him.

Charles's eyes are suddenly damp, and he has to gulp past a lump in his throat before he can speak. "Thank you…" he says unevenly. "Not just…just this…everything you did for Erik…I don't know how to thank you."

"Don't. I don't deserve it. I'm not strong enough to stand up to Shaw. Thirty-five years I've done everything he's asked of me just because I'm afraid. No, I don't deserve any thanks."

He takes one of her hands in both of his, and she'd looked away again but she looks back now. "Of course you do. He threatens your family; you can hardly be faulted for protecting them. God knows I would likely do the same. But you do what you can. You care. I know you do, from what I've seen in my husband's memories. Thank you for that."

Nicole nods wordlessly, not sure what to say to that, but it's all right. Charles releases her hand and straightens against the stone wall behind him at the head of the mattress.

"I've heard about you," she says finally. "I always wondered what you were like." She smiles a bit. "I think you're just what Erik needed. I should thank you, for keeping him happy all of these years."

Charles blinks, because he's picking up something he should have gathered by now. "You cared about him, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. How could I not? He was quiet, but there was always something about him…but it never mattered. I was never anything more than a piece of the nightmare, for him," she says almost dismissively.

"You were the part that made it a bit better," Charles tells her gently.

She swallows. "It was a long time ago." Then she shakes her head. "I'm just sorry this is happening. We all knew Shaw would want Erik back eventually, but…"

Charles makes a face. "Is that why I'm still here?"

"It must be."

He pulls in a slow breath, and the lump in his throat is still there and coming back in full force now. "I'm bait, aren't I?" Nicole says nothing, but it answers his question. "Does Erik know? Or do you know that?"

"I think he does."

"What has Shaw told him?"

"I don't know. But whatever it is, Erik probably believes that Shaw will let you go if he comes here."

Charles hesitates. "But…he won't, will he?"

"No…he'll keep you here to keep Erik in line," she tells him apologetically. "It's exactly what he does to the rest of us. I'm sorry."

The breath comes out in a rush, and he has to fight to keep a sob from coming out with it. "God…"

What about the children? What about everything?


"Look, I'll take the guys, but the rest of you should stay here. The rest of you are just kids."

Jean glares at Logan, resenting him for trying to take over her operation. She knows who's in charge shouldn't be important, and really it isn't, but she won't have anyone telling her what she can't do right now. "I am not a child. I'll be eighteen in a few weeks, in case you've forgotten, and I'm the only one who can track Dad without getting close enough for him to see us."

"And I am most certainly not a child," Moira protest from behind him. In her mid twenties by now, she's right.

Logan turns on her. "No, but you're human. I don't have anything against you for that, but we don't know how much radiation is out there between here and where we're going. You're not coming."

"This is not your decision, Logan," Jean reiterates.

"Excuse me, but I happen to be a hell of a lot older than the rest of you even if I don't look it."

"This is our parents!"

"I understand that! I want to bring them back as much as you do, but I'm the one who fought a few wars here. If you want my help you're gonna listen to me."

Hank shifts uncomfortably on his feet. "He has a point."

"Whose side are you on?" Moira grumbles, arms crossed.

"HEY!"

The shout is Raven, getting everyone's attention. Soon enough they're all staring at her. "This is not the time for argument," she says. "If anyone is going, you need to get going. Stop fighting over it." She won't be going herself, because someone has to take care of Lorna and Bobby and Kitty.

"I'm coming," Moira says immediately. Logan looks at her, and she stares right back. "I was out there until I was ten. I was born out there, and I'm fine. If anything was going to happen to me I think it would have happened by now."

"Not necessarily," Logan says quietly.

Her expression softens. "I know. But I'm making a choice. Charles and Erik took me in, and if I can help I want to."

That seems to get Logan's attention more than the yelling and demanding. He looks at her for a long moment, and finally nods without a word.

Jean lets out a breath. "Okay. So we're all going, then?"

"Me too?" Kurt asks.

"No, Kurt. You and I aren't going. We have to watch the little kids," Raven reminds him.

"You have to watch the little kids. I want to help. You know I could."

"You're too young."

"I'll be thirteen soon! Why do you keep saying I'm too young for everything!"

In the end Kurt is left behind with his mother and the three younger children.

Only Jean knows he'll be following them later anyway.


"Thank you, Nicole. You may go now."

The teleporter's return was, of course unannounced, and this time he's brought Shaw with him. Charles is on guard immediately, and Nicole quickly stands.

"Why are you here?" she questions worriedly. "You're not—what are you doing?"

"It's not your place to ask questions. Go back to the surface with Azazel."

Charles still can't read the man's thoughts. He's still wearing the helmet. But he can hear Nicole's worries loud and clear, though she's trying to keep the in check. His stomach knots again, and he slowly begins to swing his legs off the mattress to lower them to the floor. He doesn't know what he plans to do—if anything—but he isn't going to just sit here and let Shaw taunt him again.

Or whatever else he plans to do.

Don't. Don't make him angry. If you make him angry it will be worse if he does anything to you. Nicole, trying to warn him. Charles shudders inwardly, and it's worse when Azazel takes the woman's arm and disappears, and he's alone with Shaw.

"What?" he demands. "What do you want from me? Why am I still here?" He wants to hear it from Shaw himself.

The other mutant shrugs. "I want Erik, of course. I spent so much time working with him, he should really be here. There are others, of course, but none of them have his talent. He's the one I want with me when I take the world."

Charles glowers. "You seem to have already done that." The idea that Shaw has always had control…always known where they were…been manipulating their lives from the start….

It makes him sick.

"Not the way I want to. Not quite. But starting out quietly was the only way to do it—the only way to ensure everything came out the right way. It needed to, of course. I can't very well start another nuclear war. It was such a big project the first time around."

Confirmation. Of course it was Shaw.

"He'll never do anything for you."

"He will if your life is in the balance. And it is, by the way."

Charles swallows, but he won't let his gaze waver.

"Erik will need to know that. I plan to make it quite clear." Before Charles is even entirely aware the other mutant has moved Shaw is on him, one hand slamming him back down onto the mattress and holding him down effortlessly. Charles struggles, trying to catch a breath because the impact knocked the air out of his lungs, but though he's able to get air—barely—he can't move. Shaw's powers make the hand pressing on his chest unmovable.

"Get off of me!" Charles shouts. He doesn't know what the man plans to do—and it's terrifying, not knowing.

Shaw smirks as his other hand pushes under Charles's shirt to take the place of the first, but against his skin. "I can't do that, Charles. Erik will need a good reason to do what I want him to do, after all, won't he? And he's already on his way."

There's heat from the hand on his chest now. Or it feels like heat, but from the way Shaw is talking he knows it must be something more than just that. "No!" He fights, grabbing at the other mutant's arms and trying to kick out, but Shaw just brings a knee up to pin over his legs and hold him still.

His chest is burning. It hurts. Quite a lot. Charles tries to shout in protest again and it comes out as a cry of pain.

No. No no no…

He knows what this is. It won't just be a reason for Erik to do what Shaw wants. Erik will be scared, and devastated, and think he doesn't have a choice. "Nooo…" he moans. His breath catches in his throat when the pain spikes and then he cries out again.

Then Shaw is done. He lets Charles go and backs away with a satisfied look on his face.

Charles immediately rolls to his side to wretch on the floor off the bed.

"Good. That was enough then," is all Shaw says. He works at straightening the arms of his jacket, not looking at Charles anymore. "Don't worry; we'll make sure you live long enough for Erik to get here. If he makes the right choice, I'll allow Nicole to heal you. It's as simple as that. If you've seen Erik's memories you know how this works."

The teleporter appears again, but this time Shaw isn't quite through talking.

"I'm sorry you have to suffer, but it isn't personal."

Right. As if Shaw cares. Charles knows he doesn't and he isn't even looking at the man. His head is still hanging off the edge of the bed in case he isn't through throwing up, and he can't catch his breath. The nausea is back, and through the roof.

He knows why, of course. He knows what Shaw's done to him this time.

Shaw and the teleporter disappear, and Charles pushes himself back onto him back on the mattress and weakly wrestles his t-shirt off. It hurts too much to have it on now. The burn on his chest is making thinking increasingly difficult, and his eyes are blurred with tears.

No. Damnit. Oh god. Erik…

Shaw poisoned him—enough radiation to immediately affect even a mutant—and Charles sobs.

A dose that strong will kill him within days. He'll be close, when Erik makes it here. Shaw planned everything perfectly—to make Erik relive the horror of what happened to his parents, to force him to agree to stay to save Charles's life the way he couldn't save his mother and father.

There are tears on Charles's face, he's crying again, and this time it's just as much from pain as from his thoughts. His chest is on fire and the skin is bright red in some places and blackened and charred in others. He can't move. Everything is starting to fade out once more.


"What'd I miss?"

Kurt appears at her side shortly after they finally stop for the night—with only half of it left—and Jean, the only one still awake and on watch, snorts. "What took you so long?"

"Mom's worried just like everybody else; it took her forever to get to sleep. I had to wait. Then I had to find you guys."

"I gave you the route I pulled from Dad's head before we left."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Kurt drops onto a rock large enough to sit on and sighs. "She's been pretty upset all afternoon. I know even though she tried to hide it. She probably wants to be out here too. She's gonna kill me."

"I'll kill you if you get yourself hurt. You really shouldn't be here, but I knew I couldn't stop you," Jean says, shaking her head.

Kurt shrugs. "So…any luck getting in touch with Uncle Charles yet?"

She grimaces. "No…I mean, I feel what I always feel. He's there, somewhere, and thanks to the map he helped Dad put together we know where. But I try to raise him, and nothing. It's like right after surgery all over again. Like his powers are dampened, or…I don't know. He doesn't answer me and I can't sense anything specific. It's driving me insane."

"You think something's wrong?" Kurt asks worriedly.

Jean swallows. "I don't know…I hope not. Anyway, just get some sleep."


The next thing Charles is aware of is Nicole's tearful voice, telling him she's sorry and she didn't know that Shaw was going to do this. She tends the burn and lessens some of the pain, but he doesn't think she was supposed to do the latter. So he doesn't say anything about it. She can't do anything else for him.

Sometimes she's there and sometimes she isn't. Mostly Charles is alone, hurting and miserably sick, and as many times as he's been sick and been pregnant nothing has ever been like this.

Pregnant. He was pregnant. In the fuzzy places between sleeping and wakefulness he dreams—nightmares. About the growing children Shaw took from him and the one he and Erik lost eight or more years ago. He cries.

He doesn't know how much time passes. A day? Two? Three? He can't stay awake when he isn't being ill. A bucket appeared from somewhere, by the bed. He can't make it across the stone prison to the toilet. Not as often as he vomits, anyhow. Not that there's much to throw up. Sometimes Nicole tries to feed him but he can't keep anything down.

He wants Erik. Charles knows it wouldn't be good if he was here, but he wants him. He wants Erik to be here and hold him and tell him everything is going to be all right.

But it isn't. He won't let Erik do what Shaw wants.

And if Erik doesn't do what Shaw wants Charles will die.

He's going to die. When he accepts it its easier. He's still miserable, body and soul, but it's easier, better to know what is going to happen to him.

Erik won't do what Shaw wants. Charles will die because there won't be a way to stop Shaw soon enough to save him. That's all right. Erik will find a way to take Shaw down, easier without the threat of Shaw harming his husband over him.

Everyone will be free. Charles won't be there to see it, but he tells himself it's going to happen and that it's all right if he isn't there as long as he knows it's going to happen. As long as he knows Erik will be alive, and the children will be free to love whom they wish to.

It's harshly ironic, that they went through fearing so much that we would die because of the tumor only for him to die like this, from a direct dose of the radiation that caused it in the first place.

But he doesn't regret the extra month with Erik and the children and their grandchild that surviving gave him.

What he regrets is that his death happening this way will hurt Erik worse than dying back in the city from the tumor ever would have.

But maybe he can keep Erik from having to see it.

It isn't until he's worked through all of this—in the moments of lucidity he has—that he reaches out for his husband. He was too sick and disoriented before, and that hasn't gotten better, but at least now he knows what he has to do.


It's nearly three days into the walk when Erik feels it—Charles's mind, searching weakly for him.

He stops in his tracks and latches onto the tendril of consciousness, drawing Charles to him and holding on and before either of them has said anything there are tears of relief on Erik's face.

But the first thing Charles says isn't anything he expects at all.

Erik, turn around. Go home. You can't come here.

Erik blinks quite a few times, fingers tight around the strap of the bag on his shoulder. What are you saying?

You know Shaw wants you to return here to stay. Why else would he want you to come here for me? You can't do that, Erik. You can't help him.

But...he'll let you go. You can go home. I can find a way out after that…

He won't let me go. We'll both be trapped here, and you won't be able to do anything against Shaw for fear that he'll harm me. Coming here will have been for nothing. That can't happen.

Erik shakes his head at nothing, scowling. If I don't come he'll only send the teleporter for me. And if he has to do that, he WILL hurt you. Don't worry; I'll come, and we'll find a way out together if we have to—

You know there's no guarantee we would. It took you more than five years last time. Shaw will be much more careful now. What if we don't? The children will lose both of us. Please, Erik, just go home…stay with them…

It wouldn't do any good. I told you; if I do that Shaw will just have me brought there.

Likely he will, but when he does, don't help him. Don't agree. Do something. Stop him. Stop all of this. But don't come now. That's exactly what he wants, Erik, please…

He sounds so distant, tired. Erik knows Charles's powers haven't recovered completely from surgery, but he shouldn't sound this weak. At least not to him. Their bond is stronger, and he's more than halfway to where Charles is. It shouldn't sound as if this is difficult for him.

Charles, what is it? Are you all right? he asks suddenly. It's the question Charles didn't give him the chance to ask at the beginning.

A wave of something—emotions that Charles tries to rein back in, but Erik gets some of it anyway. Erik, please go home…please don't try to save me…

Erik makes a strangled sound. You're asking me to say goodbye to you…you know what he'll do if I don't come on my own. He'll kill you—

And when you don't have to worry about me you'll be able to take care of him. And the teleporter. You can make sure the future will be better for our children. For everyone. Charles's voice breaks in a sob. God, Erik, please. You know it's the only way. You know you'll never risk anything while he has me.

"No," Erik cries quietly. "Charles, no."

Go home…be with the children…tell them I love them…

NO! I won't let you die! We fought too hard to keep you here!

Another sob, and now Charles is really crying, as well, and what he says next it's clear he didn't want to say. I'm already dead, Erik. You can't save me. Even if you came here, I…Shaw says if you agreed to stay he would fix it, but he won't…not all of it…he wouldn't risk that. We would never be able to escape. If we did I would die anyway.

It takes a moment, for that to sink in. To realize what Shaw's done.

"Oh god," Erik chokes aloud. His knees give out, and he's on the ground, and he's sobbing. "Oh god…Charles…no…no…"

Charles is suffering. The same way his parents did. And no matter what he says now Shaw will never let it stop entirely as long as he can use Charles to keep Erik with him. But if he doesn't come, Shaw won't stop it. Charles will die.

There is no way to save me, Erik—not to save me and do what needs to be done, as well. We can only have one or the other. We know what the choice has to be.

"I'm sorry," Erik cries. "I'm sorry. I didn't protect you…"

It's hardly your fault, Charles answers weakly.

He was so sure he could do this. He could figure it out. He could save Charles, they could take care of Shaw somehow, and everything would be fine. They would be together. They had the rest of their lives, didn't they? They're not young, but they're not old, either. Not really.

But Charles is right. Shaw has played his hand well, and the day can still be won—the world can—but the victory will not be perfect. Not for them.

For a long time neither of them says anything. Erik is still on the ground and Charles is…he doesn't want to think. But they're both quiet, just with each other the only way they can be for now.

Then Erik knows what he's going to do. He gets shakily to his feet, numbly telling his husband what he's decided.

If I come, but I don't agree…it would be the same as if I hadn't come on my own. But the same as if he had me brought I could do something, from the inside. I can find a way to take care of him. Even if it takes some time, as long as I'm there he'll be happier than if I wasn't, even if I haven't agreed yet. He'll hold out hope I will, because he can always threaten the children. But as long as I'm actually there he won't hurt them.

It isn't far from Charles's plan, and it will keep the children safe for now.

And this way he'll be able to see Charles again. One last time, at least. The breath goes out of him at the thought, and he probably hasn't really accepted it at all.

He never will.

Erik, you don't have to do that…don't do that. It could backfire. Badly. The best thing for you to do is go home and—

No. I'm not leaving you alone. To die alone. That's what it means, but he can't think that part.

It's a moment before Charles answers, pained. I don't want you to go through this again. You don't have to.

I know. But I can't abandon you. You're my husband, Charles. I'm coming. Another day or two and I'll be there.

There's silence, and Charles must be trying to find an argument but he doesn't find one. I love you, he says instead. And the words are tearful.

Before he walks again Erik closes his eyes for a few seconds. I'll always love you.


Jean keeps in tentative contact with her father through the trip, enough to know where he is and follow him but not enough for him to notice her.

When Mom finds him, she hears everything.

The others gathered around her and questioning, she's still on her knees in tears long after Erik has gotten up and gone on.