Chapter 6
My mind after he left, it had been three days and I had not had any thoughts what so ever. I just sat in front of my computer and did my work.
I wanted to think about him but I couldn't it hurt too much, the fact that I hadn't heard from him since he left speaks volumes, I was right I always am with things like this. I wished to god so bad that I was wrong about him, but it was just never going to happen as much as I begged.
I looked at the time '19.30'. I could almost go to bed and sleep and not worry about anything because things where so much better in my dreams. . . yeah in my day dreams.
Instead I showered got dressed and went to Jimmy's.
"Bailey!" he said excitedly. "I haven't seen you for days." He said leaning against the bar in front of me.
"Hey Jimmy, I came the other day and you where closed." I answered hiding the fact that I was annoyed.
"Awwh, that." He laughed. "My best friend got married." he smirked. "I would have stayed open if I knew you where coming." He laughed.
"No you wouldn't have." I said giggling slightly.
"True, some one was tending me for a change." He said looking behind him for a moment then back to me. "Where's your friend tonight?" he paused. "I'm guessing that's why I didn't have my most valued customer the last few nights."
I wanted to die. I had no idea why I felt like this, but I just did.
"He had to skip town." He paused trying to think of a reason why, because all I knew was that his work had him travelling a lot. "His a fugitive." I finished.
"Really?" Jimmy scoffed, looking away in shock. "I never would have picked it."
"Yeah, he gave me the whole 'I'm gunna look after you' speech and left." I told. . . lied.
"You sure do pick 'em." He laughed. "I'll get you that drink, this one's on the house." He said walking off telling another bar tender to get my drink.
I looked across the bar directly across me there was an empty stool. I closed my eyes and all I could see was Mike smiling at me. My heart stopped and I started shaking. I opened my eyes and took a deep breath in.
"Calm down." I said quietly to my self.
The bartender that wasn't Jimmy handed me my drink. I smiled and took a sip.
Some one tapped my shoulder I spun around on the defensive.
"You look like you need to talk." Jimmy said looking down at me.
I stared at him.
"Come on," he said motioning toward the back of the bar.
I reluctantly got up like a kid who was just about to get in trouble off the principal at school. I quickly grabbed my drink and caught up with him.
He led me to a court yard, it wasn't very big, it was green and leafy, plants that weren't over grown but went all over the place, I could not hear a thing, in New York that was rare. This place was extremely calming. I loved it here.
I looked back over to Jimmy who was sitting on a step. I sat next to him.
"It's so nice out here." I said softly, it was so quite I didn't want to talk to loud encase I ruined the place.
"I've spent a lot of time out here." He said not much higher then a whisper. "It's where I come to relax."
"I can see why." I scoffed. "It must have taken you years to build." I said observing the shrubs on the ground and the thickness of the daisy bushes, that weren't in bloom because the climate wasn't right.
"I've just spent some time out here every week end since I've owned the bar." he said casually.
"Cool, I tried to grow plants in my apartment once, they died." I laughed, Jimmy doesn't even know where I live, so he would never know about the complete darkness I like to be in company of day and night.
"Plant's aren't for every one." He said kindly. "Just like bartending really."
"Yeah" I laughed. "I suck at both." I said.
We laughed together.
"So he's not really a fugitive is he?" Jimmy asked suddenly.
My head snapped to look at him. For the first time I actually took his looks in. He had amazing carefree blue eyes, soft looking skin, he had a look about him that every thing he said and done was not with our reason.
I looked down, how had he seen through, I thought I was a good liar?
"No, his work makes him travel a lot." I said honestly the whole I have been digging my self lately didn't need to get any bigger. "He promised he would come back, I told him I wasn't worth it, then he reckons he's gunna prove that he can take care of me, or some shit." I said wanting so badly not to talk about this to the person who pours my drink most nights.
"Don't you want to be taken care of?" he asked. "I thought it was what every girl wanted?"
"I'm not every girl, in fact every girl would be a lot better for him." I said letting my head take over completely, not that it mattered.
Jimmy took a deep breath in and leant back on the step and looked around. "Why do you want to push him away, you look like a mess right now."
I looked at him. Confusion all through my head.
"I saw you freak out inside." He pointed out. "I've seen you for the last three years Bail's, stuck inside your own little world, I know some one hurt you, and bad, but it's not Mike's fault." He paused. "He wants to care about you, and I know you want him to care about you as well, you just have to let him."
"Since when did this turn in to a lecture." I snapped.
"it's not, I'm just being a friend." He said quickly.
A few minutes of silence passed.
Thoughts turning over and over in my head. Why did he even care, he didn't even know me, I was just a person that drinks at his bar, I'm not the only regular, there are people who have been coming here daily for a lot longer then me. I bet he didn't jump on them like this.
God Bailey! He's just trying to help, it's not like you don't need it, your pushing every one away that wants to be near you.
I was torn in half, I was seriously arguing with my self. I couldn't do this any more. The potential of love in this scenario was not worth this head ache.
"Jimmy, the keg needs changing." The girl who handed me my drink yelled from the bar.
"Just a minute." He yelled.
I remembered my drink and took a few big mouthfuls.
"You know Bailey, people are like plants." He said softly. "You can treat them good or you can treat them bad." he said sitting forward again. "The ones that are treated well live a long and happy life," He paused making the moment more dramatic. "The ones that are treated badly always want to be saved." He finished and stood up scuffling my hair and walking back inside
