THE PAINFUL STING OF MEMORIES

Xena looked at the younger woman who just wouldn't calm down which was scaring her at this moment. She had been fine and then this had happened in an instant, her lover had just hit the floor. She was hyperventilating and for a truly agonizing moment it seemed that she wasn't going to calm down despite her gentle words. She leaned over keeping her voice gentle watching as her lover started to breathe in deeply. "That's it you have to breathe in deeply and slowly." The younger woman tried to get up again to only to fall down because her feet wouldn't grip the floor. She put her arm around her lover's waist trying to keep her steady as the smaller woman began to breathe in normally.

She could see the panic in her lovers eyes as well the shock in everyone else's faces. She suddenly felt the younger woman pull away from her as she stumbled to her feet. She watching as her green eyes darted franticly as she stepped forward which caused her lover to step back. "You have to calm down Gabrielle you have to tell me what's wrong?" Gabrielle breathed in sharply feeling the rage and pain overtake her before she could stop it as she turned looking at Huitzilopochtli whose face was full of concern as she met his golden gaze. "You!" She felt her teeth grind together seeing his shock and confusion slowly turn to shocked understanding.

Xena stood still it was so clear now what was going on the tone of her lover's voice said it all. She could see the pain in her eyes and the way she was looking at the sun god. Gods she had remembered she hadn't wanted this to happen, she hoped that it could be avoided until a later time. She looked at Huitzilopochtli seeing the pain as it flashed in his golden eyes for an instant. Gabrielle looked at Huitzilopochtli in disgust. "I remember what you did you bastard!" Huitzilopochtli breathed in painfully as he eased out his hands. "Please Gabrielle allow me to explain." He stopped he could feel her rage even from where he was standing it was a cold hatred which burning in to him but it wasn't like the hated she had shown him on the waterfall.

It was so much darker and so full of pain, hurt and blinding rage and all off it was directed at him. He watched as the green eyes darkened as this hatred took over fully. He felt the guilt as it took over him and he could feel the pain in his chest all over again. He had done such a great wrong to her and now he was feeling the true force of her hatred. Gabrielle snarled as she looked at him. "Explain what, that you took away my memories so you could…" She felt her teeth grind together she didn't want to say the words when her lover was behind her. She knew how it would look she could feel her anger hurt burning deep inside her stomach as it twisted creating a painful knot.

She wanted to hurt him just for showing his face here, she stepped back feeling the fear as she lost all her nerve. She didn't want to be in this room anymore she wanted to leave. She didn't want any one in this room to witness her pain and hurt or see the tears which she knew she was about to cry. She turned walking away not bothering to look at him as she headed towards the other room. She just wanted to get out of this room before she said anymore and ended up revealing the truth in front of Xena. A truth that made her feel dirty and disgusting inside she felt her hand as it formed a fist.

She could already feel her tears as they started to run down her face as she walked in to the room opposite disappeared completely from site. She could hear Xena's footsteps as the tall woman ran towards the room closing the certain behind them. She kept her eyes fixed to the floor as she carried on moving. Xena turned watching as the younger woman came to a stop in the centre of room her lover breathed in deeply as she wiped her tears away. She moved forward putting her hand on the smaller woman's shoulder only to feel her pull away. Gabrielle turned slightly feeling the pain in her words as she spoke them. "Please don't touch me I just want to be alone right now."

Xena looked at the younger woman for a long moment she would not walk away from her as she had done so many times before. She would not leave her to suffer with these memories. She would not blame her ether for what had happened Huitzilopochtli had done a terrible thing. The saddest part of it all was that the sun god loved her as much as she did but his love was now causing her suffering. She moved closer putting her hand on her lover's arm holding it gently. "No Gabrielle." Gabrielle turned looking at her only to look away she didn't have the stomach to look her in the face. She felt ashamed and she was to afraid to even say what was going on even though she knew that would be her lovers next question.

She narrowed her gaze someone, somewhere was playing a very cruel joke on her. They always did it was always the same, she would get her life sorted out with her lover and then something would destroy it or smash them apart. This one was by far the cruellest of all she'd slept with the sun god and she couldn't take it back or fix it. It was just the one step to far that would end their relationship for good, how could it not? She wiped the tears that were falling feeling the ever pressing fear. She didn't know how to talk about this or even where to start. A part of her just wanted the floor to crack open and swallow her up so she wouldn't have to feel this agonizing pain in her chest.

Xena breathed in deeply she moved so she was standing in front of the younger woman who didn't look up. She leaned forward speaking gently. "I know what your saw Gabrielle in your memories." Gabrielle blinked as she looked up feeling her eyes dart. "What?" Xena eased up her hand putting it on the other woman's face. "I know what happened between you and Huitzilopochtli." Gabrielle didn't think as she pulled away once more from the taller woman's grip feeling the suddenly panic take over. What was her lover talking about? No she didn't know what had happened she was just saying this to make her feel better. She was no doubt talking about the fact that he'd resurrected her and shown her affection, not that they'd slept together. "No you don't."

Xena looked in to her green eyes for a long moment seeing the pain in them which echoed outwards she moved her hand out taking her lovers hand as she spoke. "Yes Gabrielle I do, I know that he slept with you." Gabrielle turned feeling the panic and shock as it took over her causing her to stumble back and out of lover's grip. "You've know all this time and you didn't say anything!?" Xena moved towards her looking down sadly. "Yes I've known all this time and I'm not angry with you, it wasn't your fault." Gabrielle took another step back feeling the panic as it hit home. "No! How can you still be here, I slept with him!?" Xena eased up both her hands seeing the panic in her lover's eyes once more. "You have to listen to me Gabrielle."

She breathed in deeply. "He told me what he did when we fought each other and I know that it wasn't your fault." She eased out her hand watching as the younger woman stepped back the confusion in her eyes. "He made you in to someone your not, he took away all your memories and then told you that you were his lover." Gabrielle looked up feeling the rage boil up. "How do you know that?!" Xena eased out her hands. "Because I met you, you were so innocent you didn't know any better and you didn't recognise me." Gabrielle turned sharply moving sideways. "No, you're just saying this to make me feel better, it doesn't change the fact that I slept with that bastard!"

Xena closed her eyes gods it hurt so much to see her lover act this way she truly didn't believe that her words were true. Maybe because so many times in the past she'd hidden the truth from the younger woman to protect her from herself. That only ended in more pain she'd learnt that the hard way. She took in a deep breath. "No Gabrielle I am telling you the truth." Gabrielle felt the string of tears as she grinded her teeth together meeting her lover's light blue eyes. "If you knew that then why did you still carry on fighting for me? Why would you risk your own life when you knew that I'd slept with him off all people and that I'd crossed the line of no return!?"

Xena didn't think as she stepped forward coming to stand in front of her. She felt her eyes dart for a moment she knew that she was going to do something which she'd never done before but right now she didn't care how it looked to anyone else who was watching or listening. She took in another deep breath as she eased herself down on to one knee. She looked up seeing the utter shock as it spread over the younger woman's face. She'd never kneeled to anyone in her life and something told her that she would never kneel to anyone else other than the younger woman in front of her. She was the only person in her life that truly deserved this symbol of respect.

She was her only equal and the only one who had stood by her through it all. She knew that her old self would have seen this as a symbol of weakness but she'd grown up since then. She breathed in keeping her gaze fixed on her lover's as she spoke gently. "I carried on fighting for you Gabrielle because I love you." She looked down slightly. "I'd do it all over again for you in a heartbeat, I was willing to die for you and I would still give my life for you now. I don't care for what happened between you and Huitzilopochtli, what he did to you was wrong. I know you can't change it or take it back because it was completely out of your control."

She shook her head. "I don't think any less of you for what happened and I'm not going to leave you." She lowered her gaze sadly. "I've not been fair to you, I've put you through Tartarus and I've ignored your feelings countless times. You've had to take the pain of watching me kiss other men because it was part of my plan and the truth is I could have done those plans with out needing to do that." She looked up watching as Gabrielle carried on staring at her in shock. "I swear to you that things are going to change from this day onwards. You won't have to hide your feelings from me anymore because you think its weak, because it's not weak. I told you that in the beginning and I told you to be quite so many times instead of listening to you and it was wrong of me."

She narrowed her gaze. "I should have let you say what you wanted to say, even if the truth hurt my pride." She stood up slowly watching as Gabrielle remained completely frozen on the spot. "It was also wrong of me to shout at you and be judgemental because you've done things which have been very cruel and unkind." She eased up her hand seeing that her lover didn't move as she put it on her face as she gave her a smile which she hoped looked truly honest as she eased up her other hand stroking the younger woman's jaw line gently. "I have no right to judge you for anything, I've done far worse. There was also a very selfish part of me that forgot that you are only human."

She leaned over kissing her blonde fringe gently. "I never want that to change." She pulled back slightly meeting the other woman's gaze. "I want you just the way you are sweetheart." Gabrielle swallowed this was the second time today she'd felt so out of her depth in her lovers presence she felt her fingers twitch. She felt her eyes dart again as she felt her lover's fingers stroked her face she eased up her hand taking the larger one as she brought it to her lips kissing it. She could still feel the tears running down her face she felt the other woman's arms as they wrapped around her bringing her in to a deep embrace which felt so welcoming.

All she could do was close her eyes and breath in the smell of leather she hadn't expected this. She had expected to be pushed away or shouted at yet none of this was happening. She also felt disbelief that Xena would kneel in front of her, her lover didn't kneel to anyone. Yet she had kneeling to her and was speaking openly once more with the same conviction as before. She was seeing things that she'd never expected to see or hear and it was shocking her as well as confusing her. There was just too much to take in, to much to think over and she was feeling to mentality exhausted to think through it all right now. She closed her eyes propping her head under her lovers chin as she tightening her grip desperately around the leather clad waist.

8

Akemi turned staring at Ehecatl watching as his smile widened further as she looked at his body. Ehecatl didn't think as pulled out his dagger, he didn't think as he sliced it across his thumb feeling a joyful sting of pain. He eased up his hand watching as the red blood ran free from the cut moving down his thumb. He didn't think as he put his thumb in his mouth revelling in the joy of being able to move his tongue and tastes his own bloods sweet taste. He closed his eyes another odd sensation which he wasn't used to. As he had become so a costume to feeling bone around the rims of his eye sockets every time he'd shut his glowing red eyes.

He felt his smile widen as he pulled out this thumb turning to Akemi who was still staring at him wide eyed. He flexed his shoulder muscles slightly as he put his hands slowly behind his back walking towards her coming to a stop right in front of her. Oh he'd been dreaming about this for a very long time. He licked his carnie teeth as he leaned forward feeling the sudden fire as it started to burn in his stomach moving down in to his lowers. It was joyful experience one which he'd missed so much. Part of his curse had been that he'd felt things like this but with out the flesh it had taken away the pleasure.

He breathed in deeply watching as her eyes darted as he towered over her. "As I said I wasn't that bad looking when I'm human, wouldn't you agree with that statement?" Akemi felt her gaze narrow keeping her voice even. "Very interesting..." She stepped back trying to get out of his dark shadow. She didn't like the heavy profile which was bigger than her own, if anything she found his presence unnerving. He was so imposing and he was also the same height as Xena. A part of her liked the feeling but she didn't want to admit it, she loved darkness and warriors whose presence was all encompassed.

She liked the pain they offered it was such a turn on she'd loved Xena the most though she had made it so pleasurable. It had always remained in her memory and no sexual experience afterwards had ever come close. Even the demon in the seventh hell couldn't give her the release she wanted even though that was the price. She desperately graved that experience again to be dominated to have painful sex that made every nerve ending in her body fire of realise. She'd always felt disgusted with herself for wanting this but it had become some thing she craved so much. It was her own dirty little secret which she didn't want people to know.

She breathed in knowing that a part of her liked that this big man was towering over was being dominant while licking his teeth, it was so similar to Xena. Even the pose was similar, she'd just never noticed it before with out the fresh it had never seemed so strong. Yet now she could smell the sweat and the feel the dark energy pulsing outwards. She snapped out of her haze in an instant as she stepped away from him trying to ignore his presence. She turned eyeing the golden skull. "What is this?" The golden skulls eyes flashed red. "You will know soon enough when a ripple finally reaches you." Akemi snarled as she eyed it in disgust. "Answer me you dead bastard!"

The golden skull eyes flashed white. "It's a curse isn't it, never knowing what is, what will be, and what could be?" Akemiblinked watching in surprised as a huge altar started to come up from the floor the golden light streaming out off it. It was large and covered with gold at the sides while it was large enough for a people to lie on and it was made from soft white marble. She turned eyeing the golden skull again. "What's this!?" The golden skull eyes flashed brighter with white and red light. "Intolerable is it not to see a ripple of your future?" Akemi stepped away in disgust. "You cryptic bastard...you know that's not my question." She paused as Ehecatl moved to stand in front of her again his wide grin showing.

She looked up eyeing him in disgust. "Move." Ehecatl breathed in as he leaned forward. "You didn't answer my question." Akemi sneered slightly. "If you don't move I'm going to hit you." Ehecatl eased up his hands he couldn't help himself he now had the flesh and this flesh could win her over. He had seen the desire in her eyes for a split second before she'd stepped away. He smiled moving his hand through her hair ignoring her cold look. "How long has it been since you had sex, real sex?" Akemi didn't think as she brought up her hand punching him hard in the face. Ehecatl felt the pain and the blood in his mouth, he smiled as he turned back looking in to her eyes. "You know I like it when you hit me it's such a turn on."

He didn't think as he grabbed her hand at the wrist before she could hit him again. "Don't you like it rough?" He breathed in deeply he could smell her hair as well as feel his own skin under his fingertips. He stepped forward hearing her heavy breathing as she looked up at him her anger showing. He moved forward forcing her back he knew that she could hit harder than this. He knew that she could get free if she wanted yet she wasn't trying. He could see her chest rising and falling as he pushed her back harder. The next moments turned to pain as she yanked her other hand free only to hit him again as her breathing got faster.

He felt the blood as it ran down his lips oh he was enjoying this, he didn't think as he forced her up against the altar while using her other hand to hoist her up on to it so she was sitting on it. He let go of her other hand as he put both hands on her thighs he slowly leaned forward till there faces were almost touching. "Wouldn't you like that?" Akemi breathed in sharply feeling his fingers run gently under her skirt, she could feel herself sweating. She was enjoying every moment of this she could feel the odd feeling as it started to spike in her lowers. Oh yes she wanted this she didn't think as she pulled up her hand scratching his shoulder only to watch him smile as the blood ran free.

He was Just like Xena he enjoying the pain she felt his lips as he kissed her she grabbed hold of his hair violently seeing the dark look as it appeared in his eyes. She knew the look all to well it was the same look she always gave when she liked pain. He liked pain she didn't think as she bit his lip only to hear a rumble from his chest which sent a tingle with pleasure. Her body suddenly wanted it all and she didn't care that not so long ago that he had been a rack of bones. She wanted to have that feeling again and she started to kiss back more forcefully. She wanted to remember how it felt to be dominated by someone, and enjoy the pain and the pleasure at the same time.

She was getting lost in the sensation and it felt so good she could feel his hands all over her and she wanted more. She felt him bite down her neck not hard enough to break the skin but hard enough to hurt. She could stop this at any time but the fact was that she liked it far too much, she breathed out deeply enjoying all the familiar sensations. Ehecatl breathed in deeply stopping him self feeling a sense of something which he hadn't felt in so long. A part of him that was telling him to do the right thing, he looked up slightly. "If you don't wish for this I will stop." Akemi grabbed his hair pulling him forward. "You don't stop until I tell you to!" Ehecatl raised an eyebrow. "As you wish." He felt her nails as they scratching against his chest drawing blood, when he'd been mortal he always liked pain when sleeping with women. The problem was that they didn't all give it to him or they had looked at him oddly. Yet Akemi knew just what he liked she seemed to like the same thing which made this so worth while.

End of part 93

Silvermoonlight

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