This is defo the longest chapter I have ever written! Enjoy everyone! Keep reviewing for me :)!
xxxx
"Jay, come on lets go" Charlie said, starting to sound worried, he had never ever seen Jay in this state, ever. He was unrecognizable. On the floor, a sobbing wreck.
Charlie walked to his car, and speed-dialled Tess, he needed help, Jay was not coping.
Tess had walked in to talk to Ruth,and she looked at the rain banging on the window
"Sometimes im happy im inside here, just look at that weather!" She said, and her phone suddenly started ringing,loudly.
She saw the name on the screen
"Ive got to take this" She said,and flipped open the mobile
"Is everything ok?" she answered, and instantly worried as she heard the pouring rain in the background
"No Tess, its Jay, hes just..hes a mess. He wont get up off the floor"
"Where are you?" Tess asked, knowing Charlie wouldn't ring unless he seriously needed a second hand, so she got her coat out her locker, deciding that as head nurse, her break was now
"Where are you going?" Ruth asked, noticing out of the corner of her eye that the older nurse was looking rushed.
Tess faltered
"Its Jay isn't it" Ruth said, her voice shaking
Tess exited the room. Charlie hadn't told her whether she could tell Ruth what state Jay was in,and she wasn't about to hurt Charlies trust.
She stopped her car and Charlie breathed a sigh of relief as Tess came out, looking worried.
Her eyes immediately found Jay, who was sat like a small child, cradling his knees to his chest and rocking back and forth, water dripping from his hair, his face, his clothes were sopping.
"Jay?" Tess asked,kneeling down beside him
Jay looked at her, his eyes just appearing as he looked up a little bit. He just had to assure the female presensce that was witnessing his broken behaviour wasn't ruth. He couldn't even bear to look at her right now, think about her, let alone have her talking to him, trying to make sense of her decision. Finding a way to free them both of guilt. He should have been better.
Around the time she was pregnant, he was flitting round with glasses of wine shouting how happy he was, while she had the burden of a baby on her shoulders. But why couldn't she talk to him. they had just gone public. They were making leeway, they were getting closer, a lot closer. He had never felt so close to a female.
He had had relationships before, but they were just results of one night stands with blonde bimbos who couldn't string many words together apart from "god we were drunk last night" before escaping, and having a 2 week fling. Jay didn't care for any of those girls, not the way he cared for Ruth. There had never been anyone like her, she was beautiful, but not in that plastic fake way, she was smart, funny. He had met his match. He thought he could truly settle down with her. He was in love with her. Not even falling in love, that had happened way back even before she fell pregnant.
He felt himself falling for her the minute she rejected him at the bar. It was a level of respect. She was a challenge. Cold Ruth winters, everyone had joked. Who could wear her down? Jay just thought it was through lack of trying.
He had resolved to use any means possible to get her to open up. Succeed where others failed. They attended dinners together, and it even looked like she was having a good time. She smiled at him, it filled up the whole room. And then the night came where she wore down and spent the night with him. she fled the next morning. She paid him. he was gutted.
But over the months they had developed something special. Jay chased her until they held hands at the bus stop and went home together, both knowing this was new for both of them.
But now that woman he had come to care so deeply about had betrayed him. Worse then any of the others, the one that dumped him by text, the one that went out with his best mate. Even the one that cheated on him. Ruth had outweighed all those others by a lot. He didn't have it in him to be angry at her. He was filled with a new sense of grief. He knew they had lost a child, but he didn't know it was a decision that he didn't even have a opportunity to be a part of. She knew he was a family guy, she surely knew he wouldn't force anything. But now, there he was, on the floor, distraught, like one of the patients, while the two head nurses looked to each other in despair, wondering what to do.
"Jay" Tess said, a bit more sharply, but not her ordering tone. It was different, it was quiet, caring but responsible.
He looked up again and the eye contact stayed
"What can I do Tess?" he asked her, the rain dripping off his face.
"well your going to get in the car and let me drive you home" she said, relived that he had returned to a state of replying at least.
"I moved in with Ruth last night. Im not going there" Jay said, adamantly.
"Nobody's in my house, you can stay with me for a bit" Charlie said, offering a smile, which Jay half heartedly returned.
"Let me just take you back to the hospital and make sure your not catching a cold, get a change of clothes, that sort of thing yeah?" Tess said, getting her practical head on
"I don't want everyone to see what a pathetic mess I am" Jay said, hanging his head.
"Your not being a pathetic mess. Charlie, you wait at yours, get some takeaways in or something, and Jay, get in the car" Tess said, touching his arm slightly. Jay was touched at how much his relationship with the head nurse had developed. It was no secret there was bad blood between the two at the start of the road. He was a cheeky git. But as his caring side came into play, Tess became more and more impressed with the new addition to her team.
When they got back to the hospital, Ruth had returned to work upstairs, knowing that she was too late to follow Tess, and Jay wouldn't want to see her regardless. He hated her right now. It was understandable.
Tess placed a hand on his back and guided him softly towards the staff room. Jay didn't even get a chance to see peoples reactions.
Nick plopped his files on reception and looked sorrowful as Jay passed. Zoe sighed at the state of her college, while Noel, Mac and Lenny looked concerned about the state of their friend but Tess' firm glare was enough to send them back to doing their own jobs.
He sat down in the staffroom, it all seemed surreal to him, he was the one whos life had just been ruined. In one sentence. And now he was like the zoo animal. This was what Ruth was so afraid of, their gossip being shared in the department. Now everyone knew, and was waiting to see the reactions of the two lovebirds that were once so happy. Jay wasn't stupid, he had to get out of there quickly, he knew someone would happily go and tell Ruth that he was downstairs, a downtrodden mess. He would put his money on Alice, or someone like her, someone who was trying to be helpful but just wasn't.
Tess had quickly went to the reception, mostly just to warn Noel not to say anything about where Jay was, she knew he liked to feel useful, so he could easily phone Ruth, and as much affection as Tess had for the young doctor, she needed to make sure Jay was ok, and rested before they even thought about talking.
She had dropped a huge bombshell on him. a shocking bombshell, something that Tess felt guilty about. She knew about the pill. On the rare moments she had alone with Jay, he was sensitive and kind, he had told Tess he viewed it as his fault, but she couldn't say anything because Ruth said he could never find out.
"Tess, im not going to pick up the phone and tell Ruth. Im glad hes shot of her"
"what makes you say that?" asked Nick, looking past with a glare on his face. He was one of the few people that had ever connected to Ruth, even if it wasn't for long
"Everytime they argue or split up or whatever they do, Jays miserable for weeks on end, its not healthy for him, shes probably not a bad person, but he loves her so much that everytime something like this happens, his heart breaks. As his mate, I like to see him happy yeah?" Noel said, and Mac nodded in agreement, while Nicks look softened slightly
"its good that he has friends like you to pick him up" Nick replied, with a very small hint of a smile.
"Tess does he need anything?" Nick asked, looking concerned. Tess was surprised, this wasn't the Nick Jordan she was used to working with.
He was usually moody, egotistical and downright rude to some staff. But ever since his brain tumour, he had found new qualities. Compassion .zest for life. He went for pints with the staff. He cared about them now, they were his team. His ED.
"No, he just needs a good nights rest and some warmth..he was in the rain for about 45 minutes before he could stand up" Tess carried on, looking very concerned
Nicks pager went off and he was glad of the excuse to get away from the drama. Also the fact he knew Jay liked to keep himself to himself emotions-wise, so the less people flitting around him, the better.
An hour later, Jay was settled at Charlies, fast asleep while Charlie looked at him in despair. This argument was worse then the others. He had seen Jay argue with Ruth, he had even witnessed his miserable face when they had broken up the first time, but it was nothing like this. he was depressed. He had cried his eyes out, he had worn his soul on his sleeve, he was crying out for help, and Jay never did that. Usually he just smiled and shook it off, even though you could tell not everything was ok. He would never give the impression that he was anything but fine, he smiled he went out for drinks with his mates and he liked having a laugh.
But now he was silent, despondent. And Charlie felt it was his responsibility to get him through it. all those tough times he had been through, he didn't want people swanning around him constantly, he just wanted a simple presence, someone that was always in the background, looking out for him. someone who would say on occasion "it'll be ok" but be realistic and let him grieve for the loss of his relationship, they would tell him when he needed to talk, they were always there. He never had that figure, but he had a steely determination that that's what he was going to be for Jay.
Ruth wandered through the ED, everyone was giving her looks. She hated her busneiss being in the open, everyone staring, knowing what she had done, thinking she was a evil witch who had broke Jays heart again. She saw the looks that Mac and Noel gave her, she would never redeem herself in their eyes. She kidded herself that she didn't care but she did. They were Jays best friends. And she had to swallow her pride and ask where Jay was. She didn't have a clue. They probably would know. Not that they would want to give her the truth, far from. They would tell her he was on a flight to Germany if it kept her away from him.
"Mac, Noel" she said, simply, as they both looked slightly alarmed at her sudden presence
"have you heard from Jay?" she asked, as they both looked at each other, and Macs eye twitched, sort of like he was lieing
She waited, and then Noel made a face at Mac
"No" he said, bowing his head down. They were officially the worst liars ever
"Your not telling the truth" Ruth said, looking at them, wondering which would crack first
"He was here earlier ok? But not anymore, he's staying with Charlie, so don't you go looking for him and causing more damage" Noel said, wagging a finger in Ruth's direction
Ruth finally gave up and stomped back upstairs. Jay didn't want to see her. He had come to the hospital, not to see her, let her explain. Everyone had saw him but not told her, what kind of friends were they? She was stupid to believe she ever had friends in the hospital. This was what sharing your private business did to you. It destroyed you on those occasions when it went wrong. Nobody ever got the happy ending, even if it was Cinderella and Prince Charming.
But she couldn't think like this. She would say that she knew Jay fairly well now. And Jay always said, to patients who had been dumped because of betrayal "never give up, you can reel them back in if they love you, and your sorry enough" he always had a sincere empathic smile on his face whenever he said it.
Hopefully the theory would ring true. This was the first time Ruth had ever been happy, she was never more satisfied with life then she was when she was with Jay, she would give up anything for him now. She knew how important he was in her life, and there was no way she was giving up without a good long battle. She loved him and she knew that deep down somewhere he still loved her, it was clouded by the visions of hate because of the admission about the abortion, but feelings couldn't be turned off like a light. It was just today he had spun her around in his strong arms, it would take some time. But she finally realised. She was in the wrong, and for once she needed to fight for him.
