"Mom the potatoes are boiling." Max said, causing Suze to jump. The water was bubbling over the side of the pot and Suze quickly turned the temperature down and took the lid off the pot. She smiled at Max, who was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper. When he smiled back and shook his head she felt that all too familiar pain in her heart.
"So…" She said not knowing how to ask him directly.
"So…" He repeated.
"How was your day?" She asked checking the chicken in the oven, before she sat in front of him at the table. He shrugged.
"Normal, I guess. Gina and I went to the lake and then we got ice cream. She tried to make it fun, but nothing helps Mom." He said rubbing his face, a motion that he did to stop his tears.
"Honey, it's ok." Suze reached across the table and patted his arm.
"Trimming the roses helped a bit. Partly because Ella's son was there to talk to me." Suze sighed and tried to act normal. "He's a nice guy."
"Oh yea?" She said pretending that she didn't know. He looked at her inquisitively.
"You guys were friends weren't you?" he asked for the millionth time. As a child he was fascinated by their relationship. The day that Ella had introduced Max to the tree house was the day that he started asking about his dad and what Suze's childhood had been like. He would ask all sorts of questions that Suze found difficult to say but loved to remember.
"Yes, you know that Max." She said getting up and checking the chicken again.
"Well, if you were friends why didn't you speak to him? Or at least wave?" he asked and Suze sighed.
"You know you still ask too many questions as you used to."
"And you still avoid them." He smiled at her and she shook her head.
"We haven't been friends since we were little. We just grew apart." She shrugged and he nodded as if he understood. The phone rang and Max got up to answer it. She heard him talking and then he laughed.
"Hold on, I'll get her. Mom!" He called from the hallway. "It's Aunt Ceecee." He said sticking his head through the door. She nodded, wiped her hands on a clean t-towel and took the phone from him.
"Hello?"
"It happened!" Ceecee exclaimed at the sound of Suze's voice.
"You know I had the strangest flashback to when you called me when you were in college. You were so excited that you had gotten you're period because you thought you were pregnant. I think you used those exact words." Suze chuckled.
"Huh, I remember that!"
"How could you forget? I think it was the quote "worst day of your life"."
"Oh haha. Anyways…He asked me. He finally asked me to marry him."
"Wow. I never thought he had it in him." Suze smiled. "You didn't beg him did you?"
"I beg your-no I didn't beg him!" Ceecee chuckled. "Imagine?"
"Congrats Cee! When is it?"
"I don't know yet. We haven't gotten that far yet, But you'll be my maid of honor, wont you?"
"Of course."
"Gina's going to be my other bride's maid. It's just going to be a small wedding. No more that 150 people."
"Man if I were to get married it would be in city hall and have a barbeque after!" Suze said with a chuckle.
"We'll see. Anyways I better go. Their all hungry here." Ceecee sighed.
"I'm so happy for you Cee. Kiss Adam for me."
"Ok, thanks. Let's got for a coffee tomorrow. We can start looking for wedding dresses."
"Uh, ok. How about 10:30."
"Perfect. See you then." Suze hung up the phone and smiled as she thought about her friend. She had started dating Adam after the 10 year reunion. Adam had grown up a lot since high school. In his first year of college, his girlfriend, at the time, got pregnant and he dropped out and went to work at his father's hardware store to help raise her. Gina was 7 when Ceecee and Adam started dating and Suze could remember how cold she had been towards Ceecee. But when Max started to come around for play dates, Gina and Max became really close and Gina warmed to Ceecee. They had lived as a happy little family for 6 years before now; before Adam decided that he wanted to marry her. Those two were clearly meant to be together.
"Mom. Potatoes again!" Max called from the kitchen.
"Well, you're old enough aren't you?"
"I…I gotta let the dog in!" He said getting up from the table and opening the white French doors that led to outside. "Come on Sheba!" He called the dog inside. A big hairy sheepdog came bolting into the kitchen, dropping bits of freshly cut grass and dirt all around the kitchen.
"Max!" Suze said sternly, as the dog jumped up on her and licked at her face.
"Sheba! Come!" Max shouted looking at his mother's distressed face. The dogs ears dropped and she sulked over to Max's side. "Sorry Mom. I'll clean it up." She sighed and turned back to the stove.
"Ceecee and Adam are getting married."
"I know."
"What?" She turned to him, watching him wipe the dog's paws with an old towel.
"Gina told me. He had planned it for sometime." He said.
"You knew all along and didn't tell me? You're poor old mother?" He laughed.
"You would've blabbed."
"Ugh! I would not!" But as she said it a smile slid over her face and she knew that he was right. She couldn't keep secrets. Well she couldn't keep most secrets. "Still you shouldn't keep secrets from me."
"Oh Mom!" He rolled his eyes and scratched behind the dog's ears. Suze watched as he stared fondly down at the dog and remembered when she had brought her home as a birthday gift when he was 14. He had been ecstatic and to this day it was the best birthday present she had ever given him. She still hated the smell of dogs and freaked every time that Sheba barked, but the dog had grown on her and she couldn't picture their life without her.
The timer on the stove ringed and Suze took the chicken out of the oven. She made up two plates of chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy and some peas. She handed him his plate and the two of them sat down to dinner and a quiet night.
The next morning Suze awoke to Max's usual bustling in the bathroom. She heard him whispering away to the dog and waited for the soft knock on her door.
"Mom?" She quickly shut her eyes and pretended to be sleeping as Max opened the door and peeked his head in her room. "Mom?"
"Mmhmmm?" She mumbled, and rubbed her eyes.
"I'm going out now."
"Ok honey." She yawned and turned onto her stomach. "Be careful."
"Ok, see you later." She waited until she heard the front door close before she bolted to her bedroom window, peeked open the blinds and looked down at the driveway.
Sure enough Jesse was sitting on his porch steps waiting. His brown hair was crazy, as it used to be when he was a kid, and he wore a tight white t-shirt with black jogging pants. He looked up at her and waved. She jumped and let the blinds close.
She could hear faint voices and waited for them to drift away before she opened the blinds again. She watched as they stretched and Sheba trotted around them happily. Then they took off down the road and Suze could no longer see them.
She sighed and climbed back into bed to try and get a couple more hours of sleep. But she was restless and tossed and turned for half an hour before she finally gave up. She got out of bed and showered. She dressed slowly, trying on three outfits before settling on tight dark blue jeans, a black tank top and white see through t-shirt. When she was completely finished getting ready it was opened her blinds, made her bed, put away her laundry that was in neat piles on her dresser and even vacuumed her room.
At 9:45 the boys finished their run. Suze was in the kitchen rearranging things in her wallet when the front door opened.
"How was your run?" She asked over her shoulder.
"It was good." He answered grabbing a cup from the cupboard. "I'm surprised that you could actually keep up."
"I know, you've told me 3 times now." She froze at the sound of his voice and stared at the white tiled wall in front of her. She took a deep breath and turned around. Max was leaning on the counter, drinking a cold glass of water. Jesse stood directly in front of her smiling. She studied his face and noticed that he had tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes and patches of grey at the sides of his head. He still had the same smile and bright green eyes that made her stomach fill with butterflies. He was sweaty and smelled just as bad as Max, but she had the sudden urge to grab his smug face and kiss him. She felt her face redden and looked away, before she looked back.
"Uh…Hi." She said.
"Hello." His voice was sexier now that he was older. She felt her knees shake and told herself to get a grip.
"I invited him in for a drink." Max explained. Suze nodded and noticed that Jesse's hands were empty.
"I'm sorry. It seems my son has forgotten his manners." She said motioning to Jesse. He looked at her confused and then noticed that Jesse didn't have a drink.
"Oh Sorry man! I didn't get you a drink yet." He grabbed a glass from the cupboard beside Suze. "Water ok?"
"Yea sure." His eyes never left hers. Max poured Jesse a glass and handed it to him.
"So, when did you arrive?" She asked, avoiding direct eye contact.
"Yesterday." He said with the slightest smile. He knew! And he was enjoying the fact that she was very uncomfortable. She could handle him knowing but did Max know? Her eyes flicked to Max and he smiled at her playfully. He raised his eyebrows suggestively and then glanced at Jesse. He was trying to set her up with Jesse and she bit her tongue to stop herself from saying anything. Jesse coughed and Suze shook her head.
"I, uh…just remembered I gotta go call Gina." Max said, putting his glass in the sink.
"You still up for trimming the roses?" Jesse asked as Max passed him.
"Yea, of course. I'll call Gina quickly, shower and be at your house by 11."
"Sounds good." Jesse said smiling at Max and then turned back to Suze. Max smiled at his mother boldly and disappeared up the stairs. Suze sighed. "It appears that he wants us to get together."
"Yes sorry. He does that occasionally." She shrugged.
"Why?"
"Because he doesn't like the fact that I'm alone. And he's a little meddler!" She said a little louder, knowing that Max was sitting on the stairs listening to every word. "I know you're still there." She called. "If you wanted to listen to the conversation you shouldn't have left the kitchen." There was nothing but silence for a moment and then Max let out a sigh.
"Alright, I'm going!" He huffed and ran up the stairs. She folded her arms and smiled smugly.
"Huh, mothering talents look good on you." He said with a smile and she chuckled.
"Thanks." She felt her face start to heat up and turned back to her wallet. "So, you missed the funeral." She said. He was quiet for a second and then he sighed.
"I…it took me a while to get things prepared in my business."
"Prepared for what?"
"Well, for my absence. I need to get things in order while I was going to stay here." Suze nodded.
"Ella told me about it. Wine right?" She turned and looked at him and he blinked, losing the conversation.
"Why didn't you tell me?" A flash of hurt crossed his face. She shrugged and rubbed her arms uneasily.
"You were…gone."
"You must've known before I left." He moved closer. "Actually I remember telling you that I was leaving a week before I left. You could've told me then."
"I was going to. That's why I stopped…to talk to you." She watched a mixture of emotions pass over his face. He shook his head and looked out the window.
"Why Suze?"
"Well you were still mad at me, and you were excited to get away and start your own life." She said remembering that those were the words that had made the decision whether to tell him or not. She sighed. "I thought…I just thought that he, well we would hold you back from every-" just then the phone rang and Suze jumped. They waited for Max to answer but he didn't, so Suze sighed and went to get it.
"Hello?"
"Suze? Where are you?" Ceecee's voice pulled her away from her thoughts about Jesse.
"Shoot! I'm on my way."
"What is it? You're always the first one here."
"I'll tell you about it when I get there." Suze mumbled and then hung up. She went back into the kitchen. Jesse was standing, facing the window. He breathed heavily and studied the backyard. Suze watched him for a second before she spoke. "I, um, have to go." He turned to her and she noticed that he looked upset. "I promised Ceecee that I would meet her this morning. She's getting married. To Adam actually." She said with a smile, which he did not return.
"Ok." He shrugged.
"Jess, I didn't…do it intentionally."
"I never thought you did." He shrugged again. "I better head out." He said looking at her, a look she had seen before. She struggled to remember where she had seen it and then she remembered. This was the same look that he had given her in the tree house when he had waited for her to stop him, to say something to change things around. He sighed with frustration and she put her wallet in her purse, avoiding his gaze.
"See you." He said and with that he left the kitchen and went out her house, gently closing the door behind him. She sighed and looked over at the spot where he had just been standing. She shook her head. Then she grabbed her purse and went to meet Ceecee.
"I can't believe it." She said excitedly. "I mean I always thought that he would know. I mean come on! Max is like his twin."
"Well his twin 18 years ago, maybe."
"So he's changed that much? I bet he's hotter now!" Ceecee said, leaning on her elbows and smiling brightly at Suze. Suze couldn't help but smile back and shrugged.
"He's tanned, more tanned than he used to be. And his face has more character now, but that's not the point." She shook those thoughts out of her head. She sipped her black coffee and sighed.
"Was he mad?" Ceecee asked, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder and her green contact covered eyes twinkled with concern.
"I don't think he was mad, well not about keeping Max a secret. He was more…upset."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No…ok fine he looked sad!" Ceecee nodded.
"That's because he missed his son's childhood." Ceecee informed her.
"I know that, thanks. But it's not just my fault. I mean, Ella knew. She could've told him. Hell even Maria knew! I thought for sure she had told him!" Ceecee nodded.
"Yea, I remember talking about it with you. But still, it wasn't their job to inform him. If you wanted to tell him you would've. They were just respecting the choice that you made." Suze sighed, knowing that Ceecee was right. "If you didn't want him to know then you should just admit it."
"I just didn't want to get in his way. I mean I ruined his life before, I wasn't about to do it again."
"Sometimes I wonder where you get your reasons from. You ruined his life? As I remember it he was extremely popular in high school, the Prom King and valedictorian. Then he went off to Yale and onto traveling the globe, only to end up in Spain, rich with his own business."
"Plus 3 failed marriages."
"That's not your fault."
"Remember what he told me? That he always found something wrong with the other girls?"
"Oh Suze. He was just using that to prove a point."
"Yes, well it did." Ceecee sighed.
"Well, maybe if you had moved on and gotten married things would be different for him." Ceecee said brightly.
"Married? Ha!" Suze laughed. "To whom? Michael? I don't think so."
"Why not? He was there all throughout your pregnancy and he's always been there for you and Max. Plus he's asked you twice now."
"Still…"
"Suze, honey. We're not getting any younger. We'll be 40 soon."
"In 4 years!"
"Soon! We need to give up this luxurious life of parties and staying out till dawn and start settling down, starting families." Ceecee said with an amused smile and Suze chuckled.
"I think I've accomplished the family thing and I don't recall ever staying out till dawn." Ceecee smiled.
"Well you have a son, that's only one part of a family. And poor little Max needs a daddy!" Suze stared at her friend as Ceecee giggled.
"I think he'll be fine."
"Well you have to at least bring a date to my wedding. And Max has his own invitation." Ceecee said before Suze could speak.
"Did you pick a date yet?"
"We're thinking around Christmas time."
"Ok. So I should start planning the parties and such." Suze took out her blackberry and looked at the calendar.
"Engagement party is first." Ceecee said looking over the top of the blackberry to try and see the screen.
"Excuse me! But everything is going to be kept out of your knowledge. Let me and Gina handle it." Suze said with a triumphant smile.
"Well as long as it's amazing, then I'm fine." Ceecee said smiling as she folded her arms.
"Oh Ceecee."
