Max didn't come home for 3 days. Each morning Jesse would wake up at 7 and wait to see if Max would be out to take Sheeba for a run. But for 3 days the mornings were silent; motionless.
This day Jesse awoke at 7 and sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed. He stood at the window for 5 minutes and then told himself that Max wouldn't be running until 730 so he had time to get a cup of coffee.
He stood in the kitchen, listening to the calming sounds of the coffee machine making a fresh pot and breathing in the smell of South African coffee beans. He rubbed his tired eyes and scratched his unshaven face as he looked up at the tree house in the backyard. He remembered the night that Max was conceived as he studied the tree house. He had been so mad that he never went back into the tree house since that night, and it was there that his life, whether he knew it or not, changed. It was there that he became a father and he had done a horrible job so far. He needed to find Max and sort this all out; give him some words of wisdom or something like that. Jesse sighed as he poured himself some coffee and took a sip. He looked back at the tree house and took a walk down memory lane.
He was trying to remember every word, every expression that had passed over Suze's face that night, when a quick movement in one of the windows caught his eye and he came back to reality. He leaned on the counter, closer to the window to get a better look. Just when he thought he was going crazy there was another movement and this time, it was clear that someone was in the tree house.
He grabbed the baseball bat and quietly headed to the tree house. At the foot of the tree he listened carefully. There was no sound up above, only silence. He grabbed onto the bat tighter and carefully climbed up the steps on the trunk, making as little noise as he could.
Once he reached the top of the steps, Jesse slowly poked his head through the hole. There, lying on the floor, with Suze's yellow pillow under his head and an old quilt from the house was Max. He was lying perfectly still and Jesse could hear the faint sound of Duality by Slipknot ringing out of the ear buds in Max's ears. He sighed and tossed the baseball bat down into the grass, just in case it went badly and Max felt the need to break something or someone. He pulled himself up into the tree house and his movements caused Max to jump up ready for a fight. When he saw Jesse, in a white t-shirt and black jogging shorts, with his hands up in surrender Max sighed and sat back.
"Oh it's you." Max snarled sitting back on the pillow and putting the ear buds back in his ears.
"I'm glad I found you. We've been really worried." Jesse said and Max made a mock laugh and looked out the window.
"Can I explain?" Jesse asked.
"Sorry can't hear you." Max said turning up the volume on his iPod. Jesse sighed, sitting back against the wall and watched him. They really did look alike. But Max also had parts of his mother in him as well. He had her lips, and the shape of her eyes and when he scowled the two looked almost identical. Jesse smiled and to hide it, moved towards the bulletin boards hanging on the wall nearest him.
It had been 18 years since he had been up here and it hadn't changed very much since. There were a few little changes, such as the new books added to the bookshelf and a wooden chess set on the coffee table. The biggest change was Max's bulletin board. It was painted red with a blue border and it was hung next to Suze and Jesse's plain brown cork board.
Jesse smiled as he saw that the board was full of pictures. There were pictures of Max and Gina smiling toothless smiles at a carnival and then their "brace-faces" at Halloween where Gina was dressed up as a dead bride and Max was the killer groom. There were school pictures and pictures of family functions. Looking at the photos of children growing from friends to sweethearts made Jesse smile. It was like looking at time pass by.
He looked over to his old cork board ad noticed the yellowing at the corners of the pages and the dust layered thick on the top of the board. As he studied his own childhood photos he noticed that the drawing they had made was tacked to the board. He was shocked and sat back and studied it. Surely he had put it away in the box the last time he had been here.
"Did, did you put this up?" He asked turning to Max, who was watching Jesse very carefully.
"No it was there when we started coming up here." Max answered, letting Jesse know that Max could hear him. Jesse nodded and turned back to the drawing. The paper was a dull yellow and the quality of the drawing was bad but it was what was behind the coloured lines that held all the importance.
"That's you." Jesse said, pointing to the boy stick figure, which stood beside Suze's stick person. Max leaned forward and squinted his eyes at the picture.
"He's blonde." Max said shaking his head.
"Yea well, we were 13. We didn't learn about genetics until we were 15." Jesse sighed. "This was our dream, before everything changed."
"What…never mind." Max said, sitting back, folding his arms over his chest and looking out the window again. Jesse smiled at Max's stubbornness. He sighed and turned away from the cork boards and walked towards the bookshelf. He found the little box on the bottom shelf and gently picked it up. He blew the dust off the top and traced the heart painted on the top. He opened the top and smiled as he looked over her 3rd grade writing on a birthday card.
"What's that?" Max asked, finally caving.
"It's, uh, everything your mother ever gave me." Jesse smiled at the look of confusion and surprise on Max's face. "Well everything that was small enough to fit."
"Everything?" Max asked moving closer to look in the box.
"Yep, every birthday card, Christmas card and even valentine's day card." Jesse said with a sigh as he showed Max a pink tinker bell valentine. Max smiled and then shook his head.
"But why? Why would you keep all this stuff?" Max asked reaching into the box and opening a birthday card. Jesse shrugged.
"I was in love with her." Jesse admitted and Max looked at him this time with curiosity instead of anger.
"I always thought…"
"I' don't think…I've always loved her." Jesse admitted out loud for the first time ever. He felt the weight of his secret lift off of him as he let the words hang in the air.
"I guess, I thought it was…a one night stand sort of deal." Max said with a shrug, the pain only noticeable on the crease in his forehead.
"Well, technically it was a one time thing." Jesse said smiling as Max cringed at the thought of his mother having sex. "Listen, I had no idea that I had a kid or I would've bee there." Jesse defended and Max frowned even more.
"Mom said…"
"She never told me. Hell even my own mother hid you from me." Jesse shook his head angrily.
"Why wouldn't they tell you? Or me?" Max said equally frustrated.
"She…you mother has trust issues. She's never really trusted me enough to have complete faith in me. Even when we were kids she would always end up doing our entire group projects because she was too afraid that I would ruin it. I guess, to her, she was protecting you, and me."
"Or she was protecting herself." Max snapped and Jesse realized he had to do damage control.
"Look, you mother loves you. She's not perfect and makes mistakes like the rest of us. But she loves you. That's all that matters." Max stared at him shocked.
"But, she didn't tell you either. Why aren't you pissed?"
"Believe me I was. But I was also excited, nervous, curious, scared. I couldn't stay mad at her for that and you shouldn't either." Jesse said more unsympathetic than he meant.
"Watch me." Max spat.
"Max, she loves you."
"You said that already." Max said.
"I know, but I'm just trying to stress the fact; let you know how lucky you are." Max rolled his eyes. "You are lucky. I'd be happy with 1/10 of that love. To go your whole life without a dad, but to have a mom that loves you enough for both parents, who can handle the role of both parents…that's lucky." Jesse spoke softly. "You said before that if you met your dad that it wouldn't really matter anyways."
"Well…that's different."
"Not really. You and I will, hopefully get to know each other, but you and your mother…you'll always need her." Jesse said and the pained look on Max's face let Jesse know that he had won. "You're allowed to be angry Max, but talk to her about it. Don't do this alone." Jesse said and Max sighed, rubbing his face. When he looked down at the box he frowned again. "What?" Jesse asked and a small smiled danced over Max's face.
"It's everything she ever gave you." He said, getting up and hanging Jesse the box before leaving the tree house. Jesse looked into the box and froze. There, at the bottom of the box was a picture of a tiny baby in the uterus. At the top corner of the picture, Maxim Andrew Hector Simon was written out neatly. He lifted the picture and studied it. Something bright in the box caught his eye and he looked away from the picture. There was a stack of pictures underneath the one he was holding. They started with Max as a 2 month old baby sleeping in his crib, wearing a Celtic jersey, Jesse's favorite soccer team. The next one was of Max at 7 months, with a balding head. He was sitting for one of the first times.
The pictures flipped through Max's life from his first steps to his first birthday, to his first day at school where he wore a green polo shirt and cream coloured pants, accompanied with a Batman back pack. Then there were pictures of Max and Gina at a cottage and Max playing soccer, Max with braces, Max in high school. The last picture made Jesse stop and stare. It was Max's high school graduation. He was smiling broadly, a perfect white smile and he was all decked out in a red cap and gown. Standing beside him was Suze and she was smiling the biggest smile he had ever seen on her face. Her blue eyes were twinkling with tears and the sunlight shone on her hair and face and made it look that much more radiant. She was beautiful.
What made his heart skip a beat was, that in her own way, she had wanted him to know. She had wanted him there for every big moment in Max's life. She had put all the pictures of the milestones of Max's life into his special box. This told Jesse that she loved him, she wanted him around and that she was just too scared to admit it. And that was when he decided that he needed to help her admit her feelings. He would do whatever it took.
He was sitting on the porch, dozing off under a pair of aviator sunglasses with a Dan Brown novel in his lap, when he heard the sound of soft footsteps on the porch steps. He jumped and looked up to see Suze standing in front of him. She smiled a smug smile down at him.
"Were you sleeping?" She asked, not even trying to hide her amusement.
"Nope."
"Yes you were!" She chuckled. "Jeez Jess, grey hair in one thing but afternoon naps too?"
"Ha-ha. Did you come here to tease me about my age?" He asked with a sly smile. She sighed and leaned on the railing in front of him. He quickly scanned her body which, these days, was like saying hi. She was wearing a white t-shirt with a pair of black jean shorts and a pair of white flip flops. He cleared his throat and looked back at her face.
"I wanted to thank you." She said folding her arms across her stomach.
"For what?"
"For talking to Max."
"I didn't…He told you?"
"No, but I know that you did talk to him." She said smiling as she sat in the chair beside him. "He told me that he understood why I didn't say anything. Then he told me that I should trust you more." She squinted her eyes at him with curiosity and a smile played at her lips.
"Smart boy." Jesse shrugged.
"Mmhmm…anyways thank you for finding him." She said getting up and Jesse stood up with her.
"No problem. After all he is my son too." He answered, choosing the words carefully and getting the result that he wanted. She froze mid step and looked at him slowly. She studied his face and then sighed.
"Unfortunately." She frowned and the let out a giggle.
"Funny. It's good that he's like me or I would've never found him." Jesse said with a victorious smile.
"Why where was he?"
"He was in the tree house. He was all-"
"MOM!" Max's shouts came from across the yard. "Mom! Come quick!" They both raced down the steps and met Max at the driveway. His face was pale and his eyes were red with the beginning of tears. Fear and pain were in his eyes and the look of panic on his face made Jesse feel powerless.
"What's wrong?" Suze asked, touching Max's face gently.
"It's Sheeba!" tears filled his eyes. "She's dead!"
