A/N: Thank you for your reviews… I believe that the "bad surprise" won over the "good surprise"… This is for you, Twin. I hope you are happy. 8-)
I haven't been in the writing mood so far this week, but I am back, I think. So here is a longer chapter for you. I hope it is worth the wait I put you through...
Disclaimer: Is Twilight mine? That is the question…
No, it isn't. That is the answer.
**sie**
(SM, alone, could claim otherwise)
If I chose the "good surprise", I would be putting off the problem that was torturing Alice… And I needed so badly to know what was causing my pixie her internal troubles…
If I chose the "bad surprise", I would be putting off my fear- for now. I knew that there was still a piece of Alice in there… Even if she didn't believe it herself. So I knew that she would most definitely bring up the surprise later on- and with much enthusiasm…
So which do I choose?
"Alice…"
A/N: (I listened to Slipped Away by Avril Lavigne over and over again while I wrote some parts of this chapter, and I will for the following chapter as well.)
–It really helps with the effect, in some of the parts, I suggest that you listen while you read-
5. What's Up With Alice- Part I
"Wait, Bella. Before… Before you tell me which one you want to hear first… I need to tell you a few things." Alice was determined. I saw the change in her eyes- and this time- her entire appearance was determined, not just one component of her. What she was about to reveal to me was of great importance- and it would break her.
"I love you, Bella. You brought my brother to life. You keep Edward going; make him see that he is not the monster he believes himself to be. You gave him something to live for- something to love. Bells, I have loved you longer than you can possibly know. I knew that you would play a large role in all of our lives from the first day you met Edward- though he wouldn't let me talk to you. He was determined to stay away from you- he didn't want you to end up like us- didn't want to end your life."
"Bella, you're selfless. You go shopping with me even when you want nothing more than to run away and hide in a corner," Alice was breaking on the inside, and it was showing clearly on the outside- but she still tried to smile. I didn't know why she was telling me this, and it gave me a shock- I didn't know that she saw Edward and me together from the first day we met. But I let her finish without interruption. I knew, somehow, that this information was vital, "And you always do what the other person wants… or what would make them feel better; which is why you are about to choose the 'bad surprise'. You… you want to know what is bothering me… You want to help me. Oh, Bella…"
We don't know to this day what happened next- or why, or how.
But, there, rolling down Alice's cheek- was a blood-red tear. It was the only tear to ever be shed by a vampire. Because vampires do not cry. It was the only tear that fell from my pixie's eye.
She finally had enough.
She finally cracked under the pressure.
She finally, officially, started to say goodbye.
I didn't know what she was saying goodbye to. I was more confused now than I had been in my entire existence- vampire or otherwise. But in this moment- the moment that the blood-filled tear touched the ground, never to be joined by another- I knew that our lives were about to change…
It wouldn't be a good change.
"Alice, why are you-"
"I never thought this would happen. Nothing told me. I didn't see it- until last night. It was after you and Edward went to the house to tuck Renesmee into bed… I didn't know." She had been looking to the ground for this, but at the very end- after the pause- her topaz eyes found mine. She was apologizing. But I didn't know what for. I was so very, very confused.
"You are going to have to start making some sense-"
"Sorry, I am trying. Sorry-"
"Alice! Stop apologizing. Just, please, explain to me- from the beginning- what you saw; what happened?"
Alice took a few breaths to steady herself; to calm herself. She was looking to the ground again- as if it had all the answers that she was searching for; answers to things that she couldn't explain. Then she looked to me. The same pleading was in her eyes; only to be replaced by a sort-of businesses-like expression. She was going to try to get some things across, as well as ask her own questions.
"The beginning… alright… Well, I think that the beginning would be when I started suspecting-"
"Suspecting what-" She cut my sentence with her words- words that I dreaded anyone in the family would say, especially her:
"Suspecting that you are keeping a secret..."
Silence.
"… Suspecting that you are doing something that you don't want anyone to know, and I must say that I agree-"
"What do you mean, Ali?" I tried to deny what she was saying; deny the truth, but I was given away when I used her nickname. I only used that when I was lying- it was one of the few ways that Alice knew when I was lying to her. She got defensive.
"Bella… I know."
So Alice knew. She knew my secret. My shield really had failed.
But maybe- just maybe- this wasn't a bad thing.
"I started to suspect it about a week ago. I'm not sure how long you have known that you can do… more… than you thought you could…
"… You started showing signs of it then. You seemed to always want to say something; it seemed like you were having some sort of internal struggle with two sides- one stronger than the other.
"There were times that I thought you would tell me… But you didn't… I am in no way saying that you should have told me. You have your reasons for keeping it from everyone- from me. I'm not going to question you, because now I know that no one else can know. It could be… difficult. Do you understand?"
All I could do was nod in understanding.
"I decided not to question you. Things were going on that you needed to keep to yourself; you would tell me when… if… you were in need of me.
"Then, last night, I had a vision. I decided that I needed to talk to y-"
"What was in your vision, Alice?"
She hesitated for a portion of a second before stating, "I will tell you that part later. Right now the only important thing is that I know about it.
"Like I was saying, I knew that I had to talk to you about it, soon. The best time would be today.
"After I had the vision, Jasper asked me what it was about. I had to lie and say that it was about the color that Renesmee and Esme would be painting the house." She laughed a little at this; I couldn't help but to join her. Thinking that Esme would mess up something so crucial- as they would say- as the design of the house, with my daughter's help of course, would be like saying that Alice was going to buy last season's designer handbag.
"He didn't actually believe that did he?"
She smiled.
"Yes he did. Well, he could feel the sadness in my feelings, so what could make Alice sad? Fashion. Well at the time, it was fashion… So he accepted it. He laughed. But since then he has felt some of the… wrongness that I feel. I think he knows something is up, but he is approaching like I did with you; if I need him, I will ask. But I won't ask, Bella. Not even our husbands can know. It would be… difficult.
"Now, I have a few questions… You can lie, but it would be very helpful to tell me the truth- no matter how painful. And you don't have to worry about Edward or anyone else finding out; I have been doing a pretty good job of keeping this a secret. I won't let my mind waver.
"The whole time I was around my brother today, I was thinking about the good surprise…"
For a moment, I saw the happiness and excitement in her spring up like a fountain- a very Alice-like fountain.
At any other time, I would be very horrified that she was planning something that would make her look crazy with excitement. In fact, I was horrified about it this morning… I couldn't believe it had only been that morning… It felt like such a long time ago- even for a vampire such as myself.
We both started giggling. We didn't really know why. At first, it was because of the insane thoughts that were circulating in our brains- revolving around the "good surprise". But as we starting moving into hysterical laughter… we didn't know what caused it. We just felt… hysterical.'
After a minute more of laughter, Alice regained herself, but she was still excited. I think I know why…
"Okay, okay… Ha, ha… I wanna see."
"See what?" I asked innocently, but we both knew that I knew full well what she was asking for.
"Bella! I want to see! I don't know anything about what you can do- only that you can do it. Show me." The last part was serious, but I saw the edges of her mouth uplift somewhat.
She was too excited to pass up. I knew that she missed being this excited, and I had missed seeing her this way. I had been really looking forward to her reaction anyways…
"Okay."
She squealed. "Oh! Thank you, Bella! Now do it…"
"Pick a target, Alice." I said between my giggles; her excitement was like a virus today- easy to catch.
"A target…?"
"Choose something for me to… aim at."
"Aim?... Okay… That tree over there. You see the small bump towards the middle?"
"Yes, pixie, I see it." We both giggled at this. She really enjoyed being this excited again- just like a pixie. My pixie.
"Okay, watch this…"
I placed both of my palms together prayer-style and started to rub the palms together. I felt the same spark that I always felt when I was about to do this… I smiled. It was a nice feeling- the sensation of feeling my shield form into a ball of power- like a snowball.
I looked down and saw that it was about the size of an apple now. It was a clear ball, but it had clear-blue sparks that revolved inside it; they were little balls of power themselves- living together and forming this larger power. I watched as it grew to the right size; it was the size of a basketball now. I looked to Alice to see her expression. She felt my eyes on her and looked up.
"… Wow… I can't… It's beautiful, Bella. How are you doing that?" Alice looked like she had just gotten the full line of Jimmy Choo shoes for the next millennia.
"Think that's somethin'?" She nodded her head. "Well, watch this…"
I laced my fingers together- still holding my ball of power- and flipped them towards the bump in the tree. I opened my laced fingers and pushed outward with my entire power- well, a lot of it anyway.
The ball flew at vampire speed- if not faster- towards the exact bump in the tree. On impact, the bump slipped into a trillion tiny pieces- like a mirror when you throw something at it to the point that it shatters from the force.
It looked like the tree was shattering from the inside- like something blew up inside of it. My bomb. But instead of the fire you see when a bomb blows, clear-blue flames, sparks, and lightening radiated from the scene.
But what had Alice's jaw dropped more than the scene before her, was the noise- or lack of it.
Throughout the entire process- which was only a few moments from when I started gathering my shield into the ball- there was complete silence.
Silence.
You would think that a bomb exploding would make noise, especially a vampire-made bomb.
Nothing made a peep. That was the advantage of my shielding ability- and all that came with it. You wouldn't even know it was there. It came in handy, too, because when I practiced at night, I didn't want anyone in the larger Cullen house to hear it- and especially not in my home- where Edward and Renesmee would be. I still don't know why some of the different things I can do with my shield give off the blue-clear light, but it is beautiful- it makes it unique. This was by far the best practice that I had had for extending my gift, and I was just beginning. I smiled to myself. It made me feel excellent when I accomplished something I hadn't been able to before.
Alice was staring at me with shock and awe.
"Bella, that was amazing. And so quiet… How?"
"I intended it to be quiet. We don't want anyone to know, do we?"
"Very clever."
"Why, thank you."
We grinned at each other like a pair of idiots, but we were both still in shock of what I had just done.
"Is there more?" Alice asked- excitement still in her eyes. If only she knew… Well, she will know in a few minutes; she'll know all of it.
"Of course there is." I said while laughing. I wasn't finished yet.
"Oooh, goody!"
"Bring me a squirrel, Alice."
"A squirrel-"
"Yes, a squirrel, bring me one. Please." I had to remember to be polite even though I was all but busting open with excitement.
Within the next few seconds, Alice returned to me with a squirrel- a big one I might add.
"You won't hurt him, will you?" It would be just like Alice to drink animal blood and then worry about the well-being of a little squirrel. But I had to admit- he was cute.
"Of course not, Alice. I just need him to show you this…"
I sat the squirrel down on the soft ground, and he began to run away, but not before I could "power slow-mo" him, as I like to call it. I pointed all of my fingers- palms down- toward the spot where the squirrel was, and his quick-paced running became a slow-motion effect.
For this exercise of my shield, there is no clear-blue light that reflects anywhere. The object- or squirrel in this case- that I direct the attention of my fingertips to merely slows down while everything around it moves at normal speed.
I stopped the force on the squirrel and he ran away as if nothing happened.
"Alice, you look like Emmett just danced in wearing a tutu. Is something wrong?" I asked in a sarcastic tone. She did look completely struck.
"That was amazing, Bella. There are no words! Wow! More, more, more!"
She sounded like a two-year-old that wanted the toy on the shelf more than anything in the world. I giggled inside my head. In Alice's case, it would be that she wanted that pair of shoes in the window more than anything. I smiled at Alice, my little pixie-child-like sister-in-law- and began the next exercise. There were only two more…
I started spinning around in circles- after I told Alice to stand far to the side next to a tree. My circles got faster and faster until I was sure that I was almost invisible to Alice- if not totally invisible, and then I started to walk out of the vortex that I had created.
This vortex was the exercise that I did the best- except of course for my original ability, my "power shield", which I could now get pushed outward to about half a mile.
As I walked out of the vortex, it held its form- still spinning wildly in the same spot. It was the clear-blue color that had come out of my "power ball", and it looked somewhat like a tornado, but it stayed the same size all the way up and down vertically. I went to stand beside Alice.
"Throw something in there." This time when I requested for her to do something, she didn't hesitate or ask questions. She immediately tore of a large branch from the tree we were under, and tossed it towards my "power vortex".
I let it spin for a second, and then I stopped the vortex by pointing my thumb in its direction and snapping it down.
There was nothing there.
Only silence remained from the vortex.
"Where is it?" Alice inquired. For this, I didn't have an answer.
"I'm not sure where the stuff goes that gets thrown in there. The vortex either makes it disappear, or the things that get thrown in there are crunched to such small sizes that they can't be seen when it gets stopped. I bet the only way we would know is if we threw a vampire in there…" It was meant as a joke, but Alice took it seriously.
"So why didn't it tear you to shreds or make you disappear?" For this one, I did have an answer.
"I use the shield to protect me while I am inside of it.
"Now, there is only one more thing to show you. It is the most difficult to do, and I believe- the most dangerous." I was really excited to show her this one, but for some reason- she stopped me.
"Let's see that one another time." She said in a rush. I wondered if there was some reason she didn't want to see it. She had been really excited to see the others. Maybe she knew about this one; how it felt like it was draining me…
But she couldn't know. Alice had told me just a few minutes ago that she didn't know what I could do- only that I could do extra things.
I decided to let it go- for now.
"So what do you think?" I asked her.
She looked awe-struck and excited, and then she busted into laughter and giggles again, and I joined her.
After a few minutes of our random laughter, I decided to ask Alice about the surprise:
"Alice, you haven't told me the surprise part of this all. I mean you told me that you knew my gift was extended, but I don't think that that-"
I stopped, struck by the expression that was holding her. Replacing the joy that was on her face mere seconds before, was the worst thing that had ever taken home on my pixie's face. I knew that if she had not already shed the only tear that would ever leave a vampire- she would be bawling. She was so pain-stricken that I didn't know what to say. All the excitement, laughter, and giggles were gone, and here stood the Alice that I saw earlier today.
What could make Alice so different from what she usually was? What could cause her this much excruciating pain?
What could make Alice- of anyone, the bouncy and lively Alice- so… vulnerable… helpless… hopeless?
The sadness on her face cannot be described.
So it won't be.
"Alice… wha… what is… Alice, what is the 'bad surprise'"?
Why is she so broken?
"Why do you think that you aren't Alice anymore? What happens in the future that is taking away your love of life right now?"
Silence.
And, finally…
"In the future…" She stopped.
She had been looking to the ground again, but she took one glance to my eyes- and she held them with hers for several moments.
Then, she looked back to the ground.
"You die… Bella."
AlicePOV (In her mind only)
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found, it won't be the same
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me, cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same noo...
The day you slipped away
Was the day that I found it won't be the same
I miss you.
A/N: I do not own Avril Lavigne or Slipped Away.
See the green button right there? Yeah… No, that button isn't green… Yeah, that one. Click it. Yes, click it.
Ha, ha, ha…
PLEASE REVIEW, Darlings!!!
