A/N: I am sorry for not updating very much; I am a very, very horrible person, and I deserve to have tomatoes thrown at me... So bring on the tomato throwing...

I am really happy to report that I have a 100/A average in 4 of my 6 classes. 8-) That makes me very, very happy.

I had an awful week, however, and I am extremely sorry for not updating in over a week. I hate it when I have to wait for updates on my favorite stories; it makes me sad 8-( - I am talking to you, Mrs Ali, please update, please 8-) -

Disclaimer: Once again I have come to the realization that Twilight is not mine.

I wish I had Emmett; I need a bear hug...

**sie**

(SM gets as many Emmett-Bear-Hugs as she wants. I am jealous)



I began to put little things together in my own head during the run to my house…

It was ironic to me that my ability, my extrathing- my gift would be giving Rosalie what she has wanted for a forever now- literally. And I didn't even care what it would cost me… It would be like giving a friend the very expensive bracelet that she has wanted for a long time- only I had a feeling this was a lot bigger than that…

But I found comfort in the fact that my gift would mean something…

My gift would be a... giving gift.


8. Confusion and the "Good Surprise"

Ugh. I was about a quarter of a mile away from Alice and Rosalie before I realized that going to my house would break the facade that Alice and I have both agreed needs to be kept up. Ugh. I needed me time; I needed time to let this all sink in.

Ugh.

I decided that I would wait for a few minutes; this would be my thinking time- so i began running while i was thinking; i took some trails to different places. Alice would see me coming back, so she and Rosalie would wait for me until we started our way back to the house-together; Alice would need time to fill Rose in on everything... If I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn't want to go back because I couldn't take seeing Alice like that anymore. Regardless, I would have this time to myself.

Breath, Bella, I thought, You need to relax. Think.

Sigh.

Okay, so Alice has had some visions: she had some of me finding something... or someone, she had one of Rosalie and me holding hands facing something... or someone, or more than one someone... she had a vision of my lifeless body, and she had a vision of Rose as a human...

I wonder what I will be looking for. Alice's feelings about things usually point to the truth- and she had had the feeling that I was looking for a person, a someone- but even Alice isn't for sure about it. Most of it was fuzzy, she had said. I decided to think about all of my new information in the way Alice thought about it.

So i would be looking for a person... Who? I couldn't even begin to guess who it would be. Nothing was surprising me anymore; it could be someone that I don't even know yet, or it could be someone that i do know- and i know a lot of people, more than i knew before i moved here, to Forks. I now know an entire wolf pack, a family of vampires- to which i now belong- and i know the people that i used to go to high school with. For a small town, surprisingly, there were a lot of people to know- and the werewolves, living in La Push-outside Forks- only meant that the distance of people i know has grown increasingly since i have moved here, beyond just the people of Forks.

Who would I be looking for?

I suppose I would find out when the time came for me to look for it... her... him..?

Why would Rosalie and i be holding hands? We weren't exactly that close, not close enough to hold hands. Alice had said that Rose and i had been in front of the rest of the family- preparing for the danger that would come to us. That information, in itself, was strange; Emmett would never allow Rosalie to be away from him- especially if there was danger, and Edward wouldn't allow me to be away from him, either. Never, would he allow it.

So... Why?

What was going to happen? Did the family know that I had this power; did they know that the power would- possibly- kill me, that it would make Rosalie human? Why weren't Carlisle and Esme with us in the vision? Why was Alice rocking back and forth on the ground?

What was the danger that was coming? Was it other vampires? Could it possibly be the Volturi- again? I really doubted that they would come back, after the humiliation they had had after the last meeting we shared...

How could my body be lifeless? I couldn't help asking myself this question- again. It was really, very impossible. I let that one go and went on to my next thought.

Rosalie, a human?

I smiled again at that thought. She will be so happy, i thought; and i would be getting the satisfaction of knowing that i had helped her... Or not... If what Alice had said was true- the fact that she thought that my gift would kill me, while giving Rose mortality- If that were true, I would not be around to see Rosalie that happy:

I would be dead.

This would, in turn, kill Edward.

Neither one of us could live if the other wasn't existing, just the same. We are each other, one heart; if one side were to cease in existence- the other side would, surely, be due to follow.

What would Edward do once he found out that i had, willingly, given up my life for the sake of Rosalie's happiness?

He would be very, very angry with a dead me.

He might try to do something to Rosalie... This made me panic; i couldn't let anything happen to her once she was human. But what could i do? I would be dead. I would need to make sure i had told Alice keep Rose unharmed once i was gone; to make sure no one hurt her- especially Edward.

And then i started to think about my daughter again.

Renesmee would be so crushed. When i died, she wouldn't be losing just one parent- she would be losing both her parents. Because, like i said, Edward would soon follow me out of this life, and on to... whatever was next.

Surely, Edward would be on his way to heaven; someone with his wonderful existence could not go anywhere else, surely.

I hoped that i would be going to the same place as Edward, but i don't deserve it; i haven't done anything to get myself a ticket- i am not even good enough for Edward, though he always insists that it is the other way around...

I continued with my thoughts for a while; I lost track of the time.

Most of my thoughts weren't even rock solid facts. The majority of my internal babble was questions.

Who? What? When? Where? How?

I could only partly answer each question; i only knew what Alice had told me. It, truly, seemed like a large-amounted load of information, but it really wasn't a whole lot- once i stopped and thought about it.

I really had lost track of the time, and i didn't even know anything more than i had when i began thinking.

I was even more confused; filled with questions that i didn't know- that i would probably not know until the time came that it was happening, or that wouldn't happen until after i was... gone.

I decided that it was time to make my way back to Alice and Rosalie.

I decided to stop thinking; to just be, to just run...

Feeling the exhilaration that ran through me every time i ran, I found hope for the future- for what was fuzzy...

Alice...

Alice.

Alice...

I knew that i had told myself not to think- that i would just be on this run... That i would feel the breeze- the calm- that always came with such an inhuman speed...

But Alice was in my head- and i couldn't help it.

Alice: her sad face planted on- It was more anguished and filled with grief than any plain sadness i had ever seen; it was unbearable to see- even now, only in my thoughts...

Alice: earlier today, her face was happy... her eyes were sad... she was split; she was broken...

Alice: asking me if i wanted the "bad surprise" first or the "good surprise"...

Oh.

I stopped in my running, with this new revelation on my mind.

The "good surprise"...

That was something solid to think about...

Or, no it wasn't. I still didn't know what it was- or did i? Was it the fact that Rose was going to be human again, or was it something that i still didn't know?

Alice had been sad... and happy... when she had told me about Rose. Alice had seemed sincerely happy for Rosalie when she had told me about Rose becoming human again. But Alice had turned sad and grief-stricken once she realized that she was happy for Rosalie- when it would be my death, she thought, that would kill me and in turn give Rose her life back... But Alice had looked strongly excited and happy when she was talking about the "good surprise", so it had to be something torturous for me... Hadn't it?

More questions.

Would the confusion ever end? It was only getting worse with every new thought.

Oh, how i wish i could sleep- to take away my forever-awareness... If that was even a word. My dreams would be nightmares- no doubt, but at least i would be escaping this reality- maybe.

I began running again. It looked around mid-day outside.

How long had we been gone from the house? It had probably only been an hour. Everything was faster in vampire speed.

An hour seemed long enough- and short enough- for a walk and talk with Alice. No one would be suspicious of anything- especially if any of them knew the surprise that Alice would have in store for me. They were only, even, aware of the one surprise. Rosalie was the only one that knew anything was outside the norm. Everyone would just suspect that i would be arguing with Alice about doing whatever she wanted me to do- because i do tend to argue a lot... Especially with Alice, and her craziness for using me as a Bella-Barbie.

It would all be okay.

No one would see anything; as long as Alice and Rosalie could keep Edward out of that part of their heads, it would be okay... And the three of us would have to be extra careful of our emotions around Jasper...

After only a few moments of running- I wasn't that far away from them in the first place- well, before i had started taking trails, anyway; I had taken a longer route back so that i could feel the run- I arrived back in front of Rosalie and Alice.

They were looking at me, probably trying to see if i was okay- and wondering why i came back, though, the reason should have been obvious.

Should have been.

"Hey, guys... I was running and then i realized that we should probably go back together.... It would raise suspicion, especially with Edward... If we don't go back and act like nothing happened." I said. Alice and Rosalie instantly realized it was true.

"You're right, Bella-"

"Yeah, we should get going, Bella-"

"... We should go back together..."

"... We don't want to make them think something happened..."

I noticed they were rushing through their sentences; they had been talking about me the whole time I was gone, I was fairly confident. I decided not to push it- i was thinking about them the whole time, as well.

"Let's go then." I said with a smile. The least i could do was put up a face for them- let them know that i am okay.

We were running, then. It had taken a little while to get this far out, so it took just as long- if not longer- to get back now. We were running a little slower, trying to compose ourselves, before we found ourselves in the presence of a mind-reader and an emotion-reader.

I stopped Alice a mile away from the house, and i waved Rosalie to go on. Rose and Alice shared a look and then Rosalie was off.

"Okay, Bella, I told Rose to go in and roll her eyes and say that you and i are still fighting and arguing over the surprise. That should make everyone feel better and know that we are okay and that you are being your argumentative and stubborn self- as usual." She smiled at me- a genuine smile.

It was nice to see.

Then Alice was running again! Did she not realize that...?

"I don't know the 'good surprise' yet, Alice!" She stopped and i met her where she was standing.

"Oh, right, so sorry," she began in her high, bell-like voice- she was such a pixie. I smiled. "The surprise is that i have been designing a clothing line for Italy and it is called "My Bella"- as in the word "Beautiful"- so it is like "My Beautiful". Well, anyways, they love it there and they want to meet my inspiration- which would be you. They also want you to model the line for their catalogue and give some interviews. I suppose the line is a major hit there- it was just a thought and some sketches at first, but then they found out about it, and now you are famous there." Alice sped through it, clearly seeing my reaction.

The smile was wiped clear from my face.

"W... WHAT?!"

I was horrified; i hate attention.

She stepped back, and i was sure that everyone in the house had heard me, as well; I had never made such a feral, snarling, evil sound- I was surprised by myself. But i didn't have time to dwell on this.

Alice smiled, as she ran- faster than i had ever seen her move- away from a very horrified and blood-lusting me.

Alice Cullen is a goner.



A/N: Ha, ha, ha. Alice is a dead- vamp. That is all i have to say 'bout that. I really enjoyed writing this chapter- it really shows what is going on in Bella's head, and how much confusion she is really in- which is a lot- at the moment. I need your forgiveness for not updating. Only 19 more days of school!

-smiles widely-

Sorry, you guys, my stepdad was using my computer to fix a different computer. Anyways… Sorry.