Hello again! It's great to see our questions growing more and more fascinating! And harder for our cast to answer. Speaking of, today we have the always fantastic Scott Calvin aka Santa Claus, the over-working but unbearably gorgeous Bernard, the cool, crafty, and charming Jack Frost, the rocking humans Charlie and Neil, magical Father Time …and Curtis.
Curtis: Hey!
What?
Curtis: Don't I get a cool introduction?
Nope. You'd have to be cool for that. But hey, maybe in this chapter you can redeem yourself by having some really cool answers. Let's get this show on the road with our first questions. keacdragon asks: Ooh oh! I have a few good ones (by the way this story rocks!) Bernard/Jack/Curtis: if the three of you could duel it out for supremacy, what would be your battle of choice to win? (each of you can had a different answer and please explain why! Scott/Santa: Do you ever get vacation time? And how do you cope with Bernard/Curtis/Jack fighting? Charlie: Who is your favorite elf?
Wow this person monkey dog is GENIUS! I love my job! So boys, let's get started. Jack Frost, you seem pretty sadistic so why don't you start us off?
Jack: I would be honored. Well keacdragon, before I say, let me just state that for the record, I am the ultimate form of magic and no one can beat me so this entire question is moot.
Scott: Get on with it Frost.
Jack: Excuse me but is this YOUR question? No. Well as I was saying, I would send these 2 fools to the middle of Antarctica where they will rely on nothing but their quick wits(as if they had any) and fight in an ice arena against killer polar bears where the one who is left alive shall take on me and my awesome powers of snow and ice until they crumble to the ground in frozen defeat. My reasons are obvious. I'm Jack Frost and I always loved a good dramatic scene.
Wow. That is killer. What do you 2 say about that?
Bernard:…O.o
Okay. Curtis? Where's Curtis?
Bernard: Under the table.
Curtis: (Seen peeking out from under table) I think I just had an accident.
Okay this is pathetic. While Curtis cleans himself up would you like to share Bernard?
Bernard: I'd rather not.
Let me clarify. When I said 'would you like to share', I meant you will tell us or I will kill you.
Bernard: So much for unbearably gorgeous.
Oh don't take it too hard. I just have a problem with not getting my way.
Bernard: Santa? Do I really have to do this?
Santa: Sorry Bernard I'm afraid so. Her Christmas present this year was a contract allowing her to run this show. You're her slave.
That's right Bernie. Listen to the jolly man and tell us. (Slave…I like the sound of that!)
Bernard: (Sigh) Alright fine. Since I'm in the presence of the 2 life forms that annoy me more than anything in the world, I'll share. If I had to duel it out with Jack Frost and Curtis, I would choose a Medieval theme and fight them to the end in a jousting tournament.
Sweet. Can you explain why?
Bernard: Sure. I was born sometime during the Middle Ages and feel my ties are still there. Also I am uniquely skilled on a horse and even though Frosty here has "almighty powers", he couldn't ride a horse to save his life I'm sure. I really don't even have to speak for Curtis do I?
Well see that wasn't so bad. Really cool answer too by the way. Okay Curtis, how would you fight these 2 for supremacy?
Curtis: Well to fight Bernard I'd compete with him in the Head Elf games.
What are the Head Elf games?
Curtis: Something I came up with myself. It's where we both do head elf tasks and when I win, I'd become head elf!
That's lovely Curtis. Now what about Jack Frost?
Curtis: Well….I don't know….a snowball fight?
(Everyone balks)
Curtis: What?
Jack: (laughing) You're saying you would fight the CREATOR of winter in a SNOWBALL fight?
Curtis: uh huh
Wow you just dug your own grave. What made you think of that?
Curtis: I don't know. Maybe it would be the least painful?
Ouch. Well this whole question has been very informing so far, which brings us to our next question. Scott/Santa, how do you cope with this?
Scott: I take lots of painkillers. But really, this is all ridiculous. Everyone has unique talents and we shouldn't pin people against each other.
We shouldn't…but it's fun. And do you get vacation time?
Scott: Yes I do. Every Christmas when I return from delivering the presents the misses and I take a 3 month vacation to anywhere she prefers. It's our little break from the stresses of the work environment. If I didn't get a vacation, I might crack.
That is understandable. I know I couldn't do your job. By the way thanks for letting me run this show as my Christmas present this year.
Scott: Your welcome. (Where are those painkillers?)
Okay and our next question is for Charlie. How's it going Charlie?
Charlie: Great! I'm really glad to be here.
That's great. Our question for you is who is your favorite elf?
Charlie: Well I don't really like to single anyone out but I guess that's the theme here isn't it?
Correct! Ain't he smart?
Charlie: Well I guess I'll say Bernard because he gave me the snow globe when I first came to the north pole and made me believe in Christmas again. He's like an older brother. A REALLY older brother.
Bernard: Aw thanks Charlie. I appreciate it.
Well that was an unexpected heart felt moment in our otherwise completely humiliating and pointless segment. Nice job. Our next question is from Anna again. Anna asks: My favorite is definitely Jack Frost. Why choose the workaholic one over the skillful and delicious one? Anyways, thanks for answering my questions, Jack. It's awesome to know you kept the icy appearance, and are still keeping things cool. I'd call you and ask, but I seem to be lacking your number. I have some more questions. To Scott, why are you so stupid? I mean, your wife was going through a difficult time and you were like, "Ooh! A duck! It speaks multiple languages!" To Father Time, why are you so grumpy? Is it because you can manipulate time, but not grow hair? To Neil, is your theme song 'White and Nerdy' by Weird Al? I think it is. To Jack, may I give you a hug? Well, that's it for now.
Jack: My people.
Yes, well Scott, would you like to answer? Why ARE you so stupid?
Scott: I honestly never intended to hurt Carol's feelings but I understand now what I did was wrong. It cost me everything to realize I wasn't caring for the more important things in my life. But now that I've realized my fault, Carol and I have become stronger as a whole.
Everyone: Awwwww
Okay. And here we have Father Time. Hello Father Time, it's great to have you.
Father Time: What was that?
I said it's great to have you!
Father Time: Huh?
Oh forget it. Can we get a megaphone in here? So Father Time, why are you so grumpy? Is it because you lack hair?
Father Time: I'm not really that grumpy am I?
Well…
Father Time: For crying out loud! You try being the oldest man in the world and being happy! My wrinkles have wrinkles. And yes maybe I'm a little upset I'm going bald but I heard of this nifty little wig store that I just might try out.
Well I'm glad for your discovery. Thanks for coming out today.
Father Time: What?
See it's a running gag I think we got that now. Okay Neil, welcome to the show. How's it going?
Neil: Oh just fine. Thank you.
That's nice. Your question is quite interesting. Is your theme song 'White and Nerdy' by Weird Al?
Neil: Well personally I prefer classical music. But I do enjoy Weird Al's song 'Eat it'. My patients like it too.
Well that's Neil for ya.
Neil: Thanks. And here's my card.
Hey I don't need therapy! Whatever. Our last question if for Jack. Jack, can Anna give you a hug?
Jack: Well only if you beg. I'm not gonna be melted again anyways.
Well that's all our questions for this time. As an update on the fan war poll, Bernard has one shout out from Rosebud5, and Jack has one from Anna. Keep up the votes but please only one vote per person. Sorry but it's not fair to others. So keep voting and please ask away with your question. It makes my day. Well good bye and see you real soon!
