Hey there! It's little me! Back with everyone's FAVE segment, Christmas Tells ALL! But this is a very special segment. Would you like to know why?

Curtis: Not really.

Yeah well nobody asked YOU. Anyways, this is special because for all those who were tuned in on our last segment, you saw Jack Frost win the poll for best character, winning by just one vote.

Jack: HA! In your FACE pointy ears!

Bernard: (shrugs) Whatever. I still think this whole show is stupid anyways.

Jack: You wish you were as popular as me.

Wow Jack, that was cold. Ha, ha get it?

Everyone:….

Yeesh. What does it take to get a living cast around here? Anyways, enough small talk. My prize for Jack is that he is the host of this show for the rest of the day. Which gives me plenty of time to get my nails done. Bye!

Jack: Oh yeah! I have POWER!

Bernard: Oh lord help us now.

Jack: MWAHAHAHAHA! Well, I guess that was fun. Now I have to get through these stupid Q's and A's. Yuck. Alright our first obsessed fan is Hotarukiryu who asks: Hello again, Bernard my question for you is would you have any tips for those who want to become number one. Jack here's the info for snow miku. Last but not least, Molinator is your real name Roy? Thanks again.

Jack: So Bern-head, how do we become number one? (As if you knew)

Bernard: Easy. Just be confident, don't let people's criticisms hurt you (Jack), and keep a strong backbone.

Jack: HA! Here's a tip. To be number one, don't be a Bernard!

Bernard: Nope. Still not hurt.

Jack: Just you wait…okay moving on. Yeah! Thank you very much. Gorgeous snow girls here I come! And gee, look at this, the "Molinator". Well is your name Roy or not dude?

TF: No it's not. But I wish!

Jack: Yes and I wish you would go yank some kid's teeth out and get out of my spotlight. Moving on. Ah, here's Violentjay, the fan who says I poop icicles. Let's see what they have to say: *Sobs* I didn't mean to get Bernard beat up:( And I'm sorry I asked that dare of you Bernard. I just thought it would be funny. But I guess I have a horriable sence of humor. I hope we can still be friends? And Jack Frost. I'm sorry too. I didn't mean what I said. You are cool. I'm just still sore about what you tried to do to Santa and the entire North pole. But you already apoligized. I was just being a jerk. Freinds?

Jack: Well I'm thrilled that you have come to your senses. And yes, we can be pals. I'm cool like that, so to speak. Bernard?

Bernard: Of course I forgive you. It's the elf with the hard swing I need therapy to get over. And don't worry about the concussion. The doctor gave me a lollypop and said the internal bleeding is a harmless side-effect. (Pauses). Has this room always had dancing spots on the walls?

Jack: Alright ditzy, time to take a break. Next question. I hope it's about me! Swedish asks: Wow. I did not expect Neil to approve of Andover's methods. I mean, sure he's portrayed by the amazing Robert Englund, but...Ah, nevermind. Although it didn't turn out so well, the idea was definitely brilliant. Anyways, the Molinator never answered my questions. So, I'll let him answer those and skip asking questions.

Jack: Oh gee, what a big surprise. Air-headed Animanizanny forgets the Molinator.

(Jumps into room) Hey! We all forget things you know! Try doing my job on a daily basis!

Jack: Oh boo hoo. Now you've gone and made the Tooth Fairy cry.

TF: (sniffles) I'm not crying! Someone just has really bad breathe. (Why does everyone always forget me?)

Jack: Tell us, how do you react to bad teeth.

TF: I develop a horrible twitch. It's very amusing to watch but not nearly as amusing to experience. Bad teeth….(twitch)

Jack: HAHAHA! That IS funny to watch. Hey Tooth Fairy, rotten molars!

TF: (twitch) Stop it.

Jack: Yellow bicuspids!

TF: (twitch) I'm serious!

Jack: CAVITIES!

TF: (twitch) Jack I'm going to (twitch) KILL (twitch) YOU!

Jack: Yeah right. Next question. Ah, my lovely fan, Anna. Why hello there darling. And what do you have today for us. She asks: I absolutely loved the performance, Jack. Bernard, leave Jack alone. Just because he's made of awesome and you're jealous, you cannot keep picking on him. So, I dare you to do whatever Jack tells you to for all of the next chapter. Have fun, Jack.

Jack: Oh I will! Teehee.

Bernard: Help me.

Jack: Bern-head, I command you to hit yourself in the face with this banana cream pie that was conveniently in my back pocket.

Bernard: I loathe you so intensely. (Shoves head in pie.)

Jack: Now kick yourself in the butt.

Bernard: (Wipes pie from eyes) I don't think that's physically possible.

Jack: Oh stop whining and do as I say.

Bernard: (Attempts to kick himself and falls on his butt.)

Jack: Haha you fell. Oh enough fun for now, I am NOT done with you so don't even THINK of relaxing. The next fan is Snow Miser's Lady. Another hopeless fan of mine. How can you even fight the fact that I'm amazing? Alright, my lovely mortal asks: Wow...that was awesome. My favorite part was the singing done by Cupid and EB. Nice dare, Anna. I guess I'll take a shot at a dare. Although Jack is my favorite, I still like Bernard and Charlie. So, I dare Bernard to act like Gibbs and Jack to act like Tony Dinozzo, but only for two minutes. (I'm a huge NCIS fan.) Also, I dare Jack to sing the Snow Miser's song and Scott to sing the Heat Miser's song.

Jack: Oh fun. Anyone know who Tony Dinozzo is?

Bernard: Beats me. Who's Gibbs?

Jack: We'll be right back after this short break…

(Leaves to watch NCIS with Bernard)

Bernard: Alright let's grab your gear, we're on a Christmas show.

Jack: Do we get payed for this boss?

Bernard: You don't.

Jack: Well that's harsh

Bernard: That's reality. Try looking at dead victims' bodies all day long. Now THAT'S harsh.

Jack: Okay and scene. Wow that was stupid. Sorry if Bernard here isn't that great an actor. There's only so much I can do to make it better.

Bernard: Hey! I make an excellent Gibbs!

Jack: Yeah like I would make an excellent heat miser. Which leads us into the next request…HIT IT!

(lights dim and icicles grow from ceiling.)

Jack: This one goes out to all the LADIES in the house tonight. I'm mister white Christmas, I'm mister snow. I'm mister icicle, I'm mister 10 below. They call me snow miser. Whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch! I'm too much.

Everyone: He's mister white Christmas, he's mister snow.

Jack: That's right!

Everyone: He's mister icicle, he's mister 10 below.

Jack: Friend's call me snow miser, whatever I touch, turns to snow in my clutch! I'm too much!

(applause from imaginary audience)

Jack: Thank you, thank you I know I'm beautiful, but come on, you're the beautiful ones! Ha ha oh I'm too much. Scott?

Santa: That's Mr. Claus to you.

Jack: Don't you mean Mister Heat Miser?

Santa: I'm mister green Christmas, I'm mister sun. I'm mister heat blister, I'm mister hundred-and-one! They call me heat miser, whatever I touch, starts to melt in my clutch. I'm too much.

Everyone: He's mister green Christmas, he's mister sun. He's mister heat blister, he's mister hundred-and- one.

Santa: They call me heat miser, whatever I touch starts to melt in my clutch. I'm too much.

(more imaginary applause)

Santa: Thank you hohoho!

Jack: Yeah, yeah get out of my spotlight big red. This is MY time baby! Okay next fan. This one comes from The Quirkyquizler femme18 who asks:

1st off, i'd like to pay respect and give credit where its due, to the wonderful Animanizanny for thinking of this freaking AWESOME idea! ...and don't worry about being crazy...im crazier on a daily basis!(cheeky grin)...then, my fan crazes may be way!anywho, onto the questions and dares! (taps chin) who 1st?...OOH! i know, the one i feel deserves ta have won! -Bernie!like other fan-girls have said, yer appeal and charm is not only from your 'should-be-considered-a-crime' good looks and yer witty yet totally fitting sarcastic mannerisms, but also your cool headed maturity despite the situations!..plus how easily ya handle spur of the moment situations, like the Toy Santa cover up in the second movie back in 2002!..oh,look at me babbling like a blushing school girl fan-girl!(gets suddenly wacked over the head, passing out. the REAL 'The Quirkyquizler femme18' steps forward holding metal baseball bat)sorry about that Bernard..I've been on a Transformers fan-crazy and my TF OC slipped loose..who is also a SC fan like me...as well as a well mannered and not obsessed fan-girl of yours. though she is correct about your appeal..as for questions, i have just one. When you retire (and I know you won't like having to at some point in the future that won't be hopefully fer QUITE awhile since Curtis needs more on the job training and a smidgen of maturity when controlling his anger) what would you possible think about doing? Traveling among the mortals, or among the magic and legendary society? Because knowing people like you, you won't settle for a quiet life..well too quiet that is..you have to have something to keep preoccupied, no matter how simple or challenging..its just how your mind work. I should know since im the same..sorta..its a joke with friends that im ADHOAS, or 'Attention Deficient Hyp-Ooh! A Shiny!'. Meaning I act like i have a short attention span and act very hyper, but also am easily distracted by shiny objects..sorry about the rant there. now, next one - Jack.(blank look) your fragging Narcissistic aft..Rubbing it in like that JUST because you think yer top dog.. it's bullying and belittling people like you that made my school years miserable..and if yer offended, BITE MY AFT! see if i care Scott? Im deeply sorry fer yer troubles with him..it take something dramatic to kick some sense into their heads. (light bulb) wait, I have a DARE fer ya Jack! 'I DARE JACK FROST TO GO THROUGH THE NEXT *TWO8 CHAPTERS WITH HIS POWERS SUSPENDED BESIDES HIS FROSTED LOOK AND ICE BREATH! oh and he can't freeze people.' Now, I know Legendary figures powers don't work on others..but a Fanfic Author/Authoress' Powers are UNLIMITED! i mean, we can freaking bring favorite characters BACK TO LIFE AND MAKE THEM ALL POWERFUL!...so Animanizanny, if you would kindly lay the band on said powers on Jack please..and dont worry Jack fans..its only 2 chappies..HOPEFULLY he learns some humility! And lastly, Mother Nature. Is it true what you said about the Halloween legendary figure? 'Cause i *kinda* already have one!..All though *TECHNICALLY* she's the fall sprite who acts as the Halloween rep since no one wants to be on the 'molenator' 's bad side..and TF? there IS healthy candy and Halloween treats ya know..the fall festival i work at every year has TONS of them! I could show you if ya want proof..But to the point. Mother Nature, Would you and the council recognize my OC Amber, who if recognized would be the Fall Sprite, and also maybe allow her to be the co-Creator/ Bearer of Fall along with you as well as the Rep. for Halloween?wait, 1 last DARE AND TRUTH! Neil - your turn to be the patient! Do you, in ANYWAY, feel Jealous towards, Scott due to his Job as most likely the most BELOVED man on Earth?...and I DARE ya ta Watch 'Scrubs' and NO COPYING ON ANYTHING!.and also watch the mentalist and Psych! and again, NO COPYING PATRICK OR SHAWN IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM! YER A THERAPIST! NOT A FREAKING SARCASTIC PHYSICAL HEALTH DOCTOR, A FBI CONSOLE, OR A FAKE PSYCHIC WHO IS A BETTER DETECTIVE THAN SHERLOCK HOLMES BECAUSE OF HIS EX POLICE CHIEF DAD!There, that wraps it up! hope it wasn't too long and Thanks for using this if ya do!

Jack: I believe my mind just exploded. Hold on while I process the above information…

(an hour later)

Jack: Wait a darn minute, did she just insult me?

Bernard: Uh duh.

Jack: Hey! Alright let's see what the whack job has to say for herself. Okay so first off, she's a weirdo obsessed fan of Bernard's and the question is for you freako. But first, I command you to slap yourself across the face!

Bernard: (slaps). Jokes on you Frost, my concussion made my face inexplicably numb. Okay so for all the loving fan mail you have given me, again I say thanks and even though I feel terribly awkward, I'm also extremely flattered. You are all great and wonderful girls I'm sure and I would like to meet you all.

Jack: Blah da de blah Romeo. Get on with it!

Bernard: Nobody likes you so hush up Jack. Anyways, I would definitely go traveling among the mortals. I have investigated them and hear they are quite interesting. (Yourself the prime example.) I would also like to see the many Christmas shops that people have set up to see the festival spirit still alive.

Curtis: I am TOO mature! (picks nose absentmindedly)

Jack: Okay now this is doom on your very soul, mortal! I shall find your town and give you such a blizzard you will have snow in your corneas! NO ONE suspends Jack Frosts POWERS! Bernard: She just did slush-for-brains.

Jack: I will freeze you!Sorry Jack you can't. I have been given the right to band your powers for two whole chapters. Mucks to be you har har.

Jack: AHHHHHHHHH!Scott: Thank you very much for giving me props. It's not easy dealing with a "hot" head like him.

Everyone: (laughs hysterically)

HEY! Everyone hates MY ice jokes but when YOU say them there's laughter?

Bernard: Well yeah, he signs our paychecks.

Point taken. Well I'm not supposed to be here so I shall leave. But before I go, thank you very much to The Quirkyquizler femme18 for giving my awesomeness props. It's not easy to be this random, you know? Laters!

Jack: I am CALM. Deep breathes Jack…deep breathes. Okay Mother Nature come talk so we can get this horrible segment moving.

MN: Okay so there is a fall sprite somewhere I didn't know about? I need to check my status more often. I will humbly open my arms to Amber the fall sprite and name her the new Fall Representative and Legendary Figure of Halloween. Welcome Amber and may your powers be used for good…or else you'll end up like Jack.

Jack: No powers for Jack….no more powers for Jack….

Neil: Okay so the last is for me. Jack, here's my card. Alright so I am not jealous of Scott. He's Santa for pete's sake! I would never be jealous of a guy so humbly giving. If he was still same ol' Scott I'd hate his guts but I don't so yeaaa! Oh, and I have already seen Scrubs. I own every season silly! J.D. Dorian is the BEST!

Jack: Take it easy fan boy. Okay now that my moment of stress is over, let's go on to our very last question. This one comes from MiscPurpleEccentric94 who asks: Hi, there! I do love these Q and A fics. I know the voting is over, but I'd just like to say that Bernard is my favorite. So, Bernard: Exactly how old are you? Where were you during the third movie? In some fics I've seen LOTR jokes made in referance to your height, including someone calling you Legolas. Thoughts? Scott/Santa: Do serial killers and such get put on a special Beyond Naughty list? Curtis: Sweetie, are you sure you're up for the job of Head Elf? Jack: Why didn't you freeze Lucy?Cupid: You're usually depicted as a little cherub or a "hottie" in his teens or twenties. No offence, but you don't seem to be either. Please explain. School Elves: What's it like having Carol as a teacher? Everyone: Do you have any pets? Whoever can answer: Were there elves before Christmas? If so, what did they do? Also, I dare Carol, Judy, Nd Lucy to sing Girls Just Wanna' Have Fun. :)

Bernard: Okay I'm first? Alright so I am approximately 2116 years old. My birthday is February 4th. In the third movie, I was away on my first vacation of 1000 years visiting my parents in Hawaii. It is a mistake I will never make again. What do I think about the jokes? Hey, if you're jealous sweethearts, just say so.

Jack: Wow that sounds like something I would say!

Bernard: Holy tinsel your right! I need to get away from you!

Santa: There is a special list for serial killers. It's called prison.

Jack: Or death row.

Santa: Jack we don't talk about such things on a children's show.

Jack: Shoot me.

Curtis: I absolutely think I am up for the job as Head Elf. I deserve it as much as the next elf right?

Santa: Curtis, you told Jack about the Escape Claus.

Curtis: But he's clever.

Jack: Guilty. And I did not freeze Lucy because believe it or not, I do not believe in freezing kids. It's against my morals.

Bernard: What morals?

Jack: The ones that go next to your butt getting kicked. I command you to go jump off a cliff!

(Bernard seen jumping off a cliff)

JACK! You just threw Bernard off a cliff!Jack: I didn't throw him. He jumped.

I'm taking back over. I'm terribly sorry Bernard fans. He'll live. He'd better or Jack's gonna die. And if there is any mark on Bernard's beautiful face, Mr. Frosty's gonna get it! Kay so Cupid, would you like to share?

Cupid: I'm an eternity old man. What more is there to say? If you think I'm a hot guy, that says something about your taste.

As happy as ever I see. Here comes Bernard!

Bernard: (seen in a wheelchair.) I think my spine is in my throat.

Aww. Do you want me to kiss you and make it better?

Bernard: NO! I'm okay really.

Good. I need you for the next chapter. Okay so who has pets?

Santa and Carol: We have a long haired white cat named Belle.

Curtis: I used to have a hamster named Speedy but he died in the microwave.

Everyone: O.o

Curtis: What?

You put your hamster in the MICROWAVE?Curtis: Who doesn't?

Bernard: This is why you will NEVER be head elf! And I have a Samoyed named Ella. She's the only girl in my life.

Charlie: I have a dog. He's a lab German shepherd mix named Randy.

Too cute! Okay so can anyone answer.

Santa: Um….

Bernard: I'm not even that old but I have read of my heritage. Elves started off in a village located in the north pole with a passion for crafting. When jolly old Saint Nick the 1st came along, everyone used him as a way to bring toys down to the kids of the world.

Okay so to end the show for us, the girls of The Santa Clause will be performing. Hold on to your hats boys!

Carol: I come home in the morning light my mother says when you gonna live your life right? Oh mothger dear we're not the fortunate ones. And girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun.

Judy: the phone rings in the middle of the night, my father yells what you gonna do with your life? Oh daddy dear you're still number one but girls they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun.

Lucy: Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun. Oh girls they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun.

C, J, and L: That's all they really want. Some fun. When the working day is done oh girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun!

Everyone: YEEEEAAAAAA!Boo-ya! You girls make boys drool! Until next time….oh you know the drill by now. Later gaters!