Santa: Gee, it's been a really long time since we've been tormented!

Carol: Yeah it's kind of great. How are you Jack?

Jack: …

Santa(laughing): He still can't talk until the end of the next episode. Poor guy.

Bernard: Or else I can physically abuse him. Which, under any normal circumstances, would be a bad thing but Animanizanny kind of messed with my head. I'm glad to see that this whole mess is probably over.

Everyone:…

Bernard: I have a feeling that I just ruined everything.

SURPRISE!Bernard: Gah! (has heart attack)

Um…oops. Haha. I bet you all missed me like crazy.

Curtis: Oh no! Run!Shut up! So yeah I'm kind of embarrassed. First off I would like to apologize to everyone who has kept up with my story up until now. Due to events that are not under my control, I had temporarily delayed my writing.

Curtis: Not under your control? I bet you were just lazy!

See, this is why no one likes you.

Curtis: Aw

So anyways, let's get this whole thing set up and ready to go! First off, after checking the reviews, it looks like Bernard and Lucy are our host. Once he's breathing again. I'm sure Bernard will be super happy!

Bernard: (Gasp) where am I?

Hiya cutie!

Bernard: AHHHHHHH!

You're the host along with Lucy Which means I'm leaving to get my nails done. And before I go, I'd just like to remind everyone to pick the next host in your reviews and it can't be Bernard, Jack, or Lucy. Have fun and enjoy!

Lucy: YAY! I feel loved!

Bernard: Um…okay. This is just too weird. So I guess I'll just bring out the reviews…first comes from keacdragon who says: Cool! I vote Bernard to host an episode!

Bernard: Well…that's awesome. Thanks for voting and making me host. Not much more I can really do with that so…next review. This one comes from Aquette Calvin who asks: hmm, interesting answer to the tallness question, i also thought it had something to magic of being 1st and second elf. but whatever floats your , so... just to annoy and confuse bernard, you know that question about what if scott was a girl? well in my story "holly jolly christmas" my character Aquette, is santa haha it was strange to figure that out but fun. oh and also to make curtis feel more "appreciated" in my stories you have taken over as head elf (sorry bernard, you're now head of security)oh and to really bug jack (cause i hate you a lot)you were killed awhile ago in my story... haha sorry (not really)ok now that im done getting on people's nerves, off to questions!first, i think lucy (who hasnt been on a lot) should host, cause shes , a question for anyone who can answer, how big is elfsburg?third, another one for anyone who cares to answer, does the set up of the pole change with each santa? cause in the first movie it was differnt then the next two , i dare charlie to sing "i saw mommy kissing santa claus" cause i always thought that was lastly, since i dont really care for curtis all that much, i dare him to lick an icicle and have it stick to his tongue and then sing santa ! and have fun!

Lucy: Oh boy a long one! Thanks for voting for me! I feel really great to be here again since I really don't get put on here all that much.

What the sass missy!Lucy: No way, that's what makes me cute.

Bernard: Now hold on a minute, a girl is Santa? (Headache) And what do you mean I'm not head elf? Are you MAD woman? Curtis will ruin everything!Lucy: Bernard I think you need a chill pill. It's only a story. Sorry she killed you Jack.

Jack: (shrugs)

Bernard: Apparently he's lost all will to live. I'm beginning to feel the same way. Santa would you like to answer the next questions?

Santa: Sure. Elfsburg is about the size of the state of Maine. It's small for a community but large for a village. And the set up of the pole doesn't change due to a different Santa, the elves just like to remodel every year to keep things bright and exciting.

Charlie: Well…this is kind of awkward but I suppose I'll sing…(clears throat) I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peep; she thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep. Then, I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus underneath his beard so snowy white. Oh, what a laugh it would have been if daddy had only seen mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

Laura: That was…interesting Charlie.

Neil: Grr.

Bernard: (snickering) Okay Curtis go lick an icicle.

Lucy: (laughing) Yay!

Curtis(sticks tongue to icicle) my tongue ith numb!… Thanta baby, thip a thaddle unda da twee for me. I've been a awfuwy good girl. Thanta baby, huwy down da timney tonight!

Everyone laughs until they pass out.

(One trip to the ER later)

Bernard: Okay that was amazing. I've been brought to the hospital twice in one hour. I'm not hoping for third.

Lucy: Okay next up, we have Jokermask18 who kindly asks us: Hello, I have a few questions and some dares if that's okay. Bernard: Who was the Santa directly before Scott? What was he like? How long was he Santa? I dare Carol and Mother Nature to have a burping contest.

Bernard: Wow it's great to see some intelligent questions!

Lucy: Don't be mean. Our reviewers are really nice for asking us all this.

Bernard: Yep sure. So the Santa before Scott's name was Sirius Caron. He was a moderately good Santa. The way I've always viewed the Santa's we've had is that they are like the presidents. There are some very good ones, some very bad ones, and those that we just forget about in the long run. He was in the middle. Although, he was the Santa who helped Abby perfect her hot cocoa recipe.

Abby: Yeah that was great!

Bernard: Anyways, he was Santa for about… 250 years. Not really all that long when you think about it.

Lucy: Alright Carol, MN, share us your burping skills.

(Carol and Mother nature both drink 2 liters of soda)

Carol: Burp

MN: Buurp!

Carol: Buuuuurp!

MN: BUUUUUUUUURP!

Lucy: Looks like MN won!

Carol: I'll get you next time.

MN: Doubt it.

Bernard: Okay our next reviewer is Jokermask18 again who asks us:I also have two other dares: Jack: Give curtis a wedgie and freeze his underwear. Carol and Mother Nature have to armwrestle.

Jack: (grins evilly)

Curtis: Now hold on! How come everyone hates me so much?

Bernard: Make it painful Frost

Curtis: (runs screaming while Frost chases him)

Lucy: (leans back in an armchair) This won't take too long. Hold in there folks.

3 minutes later…

(Curtis waddles in, shivering immensely. ) W-when I'm h-head elf, you'll all be s-s- sorry!

Bernard: And Carol and MN, it looks like you will get to partake in more un-ladylike affairs.

Carol: REVENGE!

MN: Bring it sister!

(Arm wrestle until Carol wins)

Carol: YES!MN: um, my hand slipped.

Carol: Yeah right.

Lucy: Alright our next is from Sherlock'n'Hunt who asks us: Before I start asking questions and making dares, I want to say one thing. Curtis, although I've never seen The Santa Clause 2 or 3, I've pretty well learned how stupid you are. Just hang in there though. You'll (hopefully) mature soon enough, and then everyone will stop picking on you. =) Now for questions. Judy, can I please have your recipe for hot cocoa? It looks soooo good! Scott, has there ever been a time when you wished you weren't Santa? Bernard, I've read several stories on here where you get hurt. Have you ever really gotten hurt? Neil, where the heck do you keep getting those hideous sweaters? Ok, now for the dares. Curtis, I dare you to wear a pink prom dress for the next 4 episodes. Neil, I dare you to burn all of your hideous sweaters in the fireplace. Jack, I dare you to say 5 stupid things in a row so Bernard can smack you. That's all for now!

Curtis: I had better stop being picked on or else!Bernard: Or else what, stupid?

Curtis: Or else….never mind

Judy: Sorry but it took me hundreds of years to perfect and it's just too special to hand out. But you can keep trying your own and I'll give you some tips! Just remember, always shaken, NEVER stirred.

Scott: I believe the one time I was most sure I didn't want to be Santa was when I looked at the scale after making my New Year's resolution. I'm pretty sure I lost a bit of my ego that day.

Bernard: Actual hurt? Well there was this one time when I was nearly trampled by a reindeer. And this other time an elf split burning hot cocoa down my shirt by accident.

Lucy: Have you ever been emotionally hurt Bernard?

Bernard: I'd….rather not go into that thank you. (awkward silence)

Neil: My "hideous sweater" are a gift from my Mommy!

Lucy: Well your Mommy should be smacked!

Neil: (shocked) LUCY!

Lucy: Sorry Daddy I'm just stating a fact.

Bernard: Hey Curtis, you ready for more torment. Man, the reviewers really don't like you today!Curtis: (Still shivering from ice wedgie) I'll be right back. (comes back in a oink prom dress)

Lucy: Curtis, pink really isn't your color. I think you look more like a lilac.

Neil: (cries) Goodbye sweaters! (throws into fireplace) NOOOOO! Why must the fashionable die young?Santa: Neil, get over it….they're just sweaters.

Neil: They meant more than that to me.

Bernard: Okaaay this is getting weird. Moving on to the absolute BEST part of today's segment!Jack: You are all morons.

(smack)

Jack: I shall destroy your souls!

(Smack)

Jack: I hate every one of you lowlife creeps!

(SMACK)

Jack: OUCH! That one hurt!(SMACK!)

Jack: AHHH!(SMACK!)

Bernard: I feel great now.

Jack: (rubs face angrily)

Lucy: Our next reviewer is Shadow7 who asks us: First off, Bernard: you are my favorite character, mostly because you seem to be the only sane person at the North Pole these days. Therefore, I have a few questions for you. One, since I've read a few fics that show you being an avid reader, what is your favorite book? Two, what is the origin of the elven race? Most wtiters (the ones I've read at least) draw upon Norse mythology. Is that true? As for Jack *gives an extremely scary death glare* can Bernard and Judy tie him up with wrapping paper and ribbons? Oh, and then we can set Freddy on him...I'd love to see the terrified look on that frostbitten jerkass's face after that.

Bernard: Well great so meet someone with such great taste! And yes, I feel as though I'm the only sane one too. I am actually a huge book fan. I adore the classics. My most favorite book would have to be Lord of the Flies by William Golding. It's pretty disturbing just to warn you if you never read it but the immense detail and symbolizing of society being the bond of man is just so powerful in my eyes.

Everyone: Zzzzzzz

Bernard: Like I said, I'm the only true sane one here. Our elven race actually does date back to Norse mythology! I tend to read some of the fan fictions written just out of curiosity at most, and seeing that really strikes me as a shock. Some people can be quite clever.

Judy: I've got the ribbons!Bernard: Awesome I have the paper. Jack: (backs into corner slowly)

Bernard: GET HIM!

AHHHHH!…

Jack(wrapped like a Christmas bundle) !Bernard: Now….what was the second part of this dare?

Freddy: Hello my lovelies. I believe I was summoned…into the darkness of another villain's dreams? How interesting…

Jack: !

Hi I'm back! And my nails are fantastic! Oh, hey Freddy.

Freddy: Sup?

Oh nothing much. I take it everything went well.

Lucy: I love being a host! Thank you!

Bernard: Eh…it was alright. (smiles)

Well cool. I guess that's all for today folks! Again, I want to apologize immensely for not updating this sooner. Either way, I still hope you can find it in your hearts to review and make my lovely cast as miserable as always!Everyone: NOOOO!So enjoy, review, and remember to put in for your next host! By the way, Jack can talk now.

Jack: The horror, the torment! Do you have any IDEA what these IDIOTS have put me through? If I wasn't under contract, I'd…

You'd what Jack?

Jack: ARGGGH!

Curtis: Hey, I kind of like wearing a dress!

Everyone steps away.

That's…great Curtis.

Bernard: Like I said, I'm the only sane one.

Well that's it for now. Enjoy! BYE!